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 What did they think of their brothers?

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Lifetime



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PostSubject: What did they think of their brothers?   Tue Apr 02, 2013 6:56 pm

I've been thinking lately and I've been wondering what did Eric and Dylan think about their older brothers? The little I know about Kevin Harris he seems like the perfect all American boy honestly. He played football in high school got good grades was a good kid and went on to college. What more could you ask for and I've always wondered if Eric felt like he could never live up to his older brother. This picture here makes me wonder if Eric felt bad cause he couldn't be like Kevin.

Dylan on the other hand seemed to be doing a lot better than his older brother. In this sibling relationship Dylan was the good child and his older brother Byron was the troublemaker. Byron ended up getting kicked out of the house for drug use and Dylan was just about ready to leave the house to go to college. I wonder if Dylan hated his older brother for the way he acted or just wanted him to be in a better position.

One last question. Do you think they would have attacked Columbine if their older brother's were still in the school? I think they would have.

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CatherineM813



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PostSubject: Re: What did they think of their brothers?   Tue Apr 02, 2013 7:44 pm

From what I have read it seemed that Eric and Kevin were really close despite their differences in personality. Eric described in a school paper how he, Kevin and some of their friends would always play war in the backyard when they lived in Michigan. In another school paper Eric talked about moving around and how difficult it was being the new kid. Since Kevin was very sociable he would help his younger brother out in the friend department. In the AOL survey Eric mentioned that Kevin was his favorite family member and lastly I think in No Easy Answers, Brooks described that even though Eric disliked football he went to all of his older brother's games and would cheer for him very loudly. There have been some people that said Eric felt a bit inferior and jealous towards Kevin and thought he was in his older brother's shadows. And I think that it's very possible Eric would have been best man at Kevin's wedding and seeing those pictures of them makes me really sad. Crying or Very sad


From what I have read about Dylan they seemed to be close growing up but as time went on they started to go their separate ways. Dylan did mention in the basement tapes how much Byron and his friends would tease him growing up and how his family treated him as the runt of the litter which I find very hard to believe.


And for the last question I honestly have no idea.

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Ivan



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PostSubject: Re: What did they think of their brothers?   Wed Apr 03, 2013 2:06 am

I think Eric respected his brother and Dylan felt resentment towards his brother.
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PostSubject: Re: What did they think of their brothers?   Wed Apr 03, 2013 7:04 am

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:
I think Eric respected his brother and Dylan felt resentment towards his brother.

Weird, I feel quite the opposite. After how Eric talked about his brother being a suck up and all in his 'Just A Day' story. But then again, Dylan did say his older brother always picked on and teased him.

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carrie12



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PostSubject: Re: What did they think of their brothers?   Wed Apr 03, 2013 7:20 am

There have been many suggestions that there was sibling rivalry between Eric and Kevin. I can't help the feeling that Kevin is living the life Eric wanted.
The fact that Kevin joined the army for his master's degree... I dont't know, I find it a bit weird. I know, he's a physical therapist and probably not involved in direct military action but if my little brother did something like that I wouldn't even look at a gun - not even from far away. But then again the Harris familiy is a military family (and the one of Kendra, Kevin's wife seems to be, too) and I am probably too much of a pacifist to understand that.

I always imagined the relationship between Dylan and his brother as close but complicated. I found it kind of telling that Sue Klebold in her first police interview on the very day of the shootings said when asked about family dynamics that Dylan and Byron were "beginning to develop a good relationship" - which at least to me indicates that it wasn't all that good before. And apparently Dylan had not really kept contact to Byron after he had been kicked out of the house.
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PostSubject: Re: What did they think of their brothers?   Wed Apr 03, 2013 7:44 am

I find it also interesting, that Dylan noted that his first contact with alkohol and pot happened with Byron. I mean, when Byron trusted Dylan enough to do drugs, not only in front of his eyes but with him, they had to have some kind of closeness.


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PostSubject: Re: What did they think of their brothers?   Wed Apr 03, 2013 8:09 am

I absolutely agree with you about the alcohol / drugs aspect.
Nate Dykeman said in an interview about the brothers that after Byron moved out there had been a gap in the friendship (so he perceived their relationship as friendship, but still: there is the comment that Dylan made about his brother not treating him well) and Byron wanted to be filled in on everything that had happened while he was away (wouldn't we all?).
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PostSubject: Re: What did they think of their brothers?   Wed Apr 03, 2013 6:14 pm

On Dylan's diversion file, he marks his brother under 'Least supportive family member' and under 'How', "isn't involved in my life (not a problem)".
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PostSubject: Re: What did they think of their brothers?   Wed Apr 03, 2013 7:06 pm

InFiNiNcEX5 wrote:
On Dylan's diversion file, he marks his brother under 'Least supportive family member' and under 'How', "isn't involved in my life (not a problem)".

Interesting. I never knew this. I've only ever read information on Eric's diversion file.


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areyoulistening



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PostSubject: Re: What did they think of their brothers?   Wed Apr 03, 2013 7:26 pm

Dylan's diversion records are quite telling. Trouble in the family had been brewing for a while. His brother had gotten kicked out of the house for drugs, they went to family therapy. Then Dylan got suspended for the locker combos and now this (the break-in). I can only imagine that his parents were wondering if Dylan would head the same route as his older brother.

He slacked in class, made excuses for his actions and never accepted the blame "it is my belief that even though Dylan knows what he did was wrong, he still lessens the seriousness of the offense"

He also doesn't mention being depressed anywhere in his records,the closest is "feeling down" somewhere at the end of the report. In the beginning he was given the option to tick it. He'd already sprung on his parents that he drank and had used drugs before, I find it odd that he doesn't mention it.

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PostSubject: Re: What did they think of their brothers?   Wed Apr 03, 2013 9:28 pm

On a side note, can anyone give me a link for their diversion records? It would be interesting to read it.


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Last edited by Lifetime on Wed Apr 03, 2013 9:28 pm; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : better wording)
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PostSubject: Re: What did they think of their brothers?   Wed Apr 03, 2013 9:30 pm

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:
On a side note, can anyone give me a link for their diversion records? It would be interesting to read it.


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PostSubject: Re: What did they think of their brothers?   Wed Apr 03, 2013 11:34 pm

@areyoulistening wrote:
Dylan's diversion records are quite telling. Trouble in the family had been brewing for a while. His brother had gotten kicked out of the house for drugs, they went to family therapy. Then Dylan got suspended for the locker combos and now this (the break-in). I can only imagine that his parents were wondering if Dylan would head the same route as his older brother.

I heard that his parents were on the verge of divorce. Don't know if there's some truth to that but they'd been married 27 years according to the report and with the issues with Bryon, I wouldn't doubt their marriage was at a cross roads. They then put all their eggs in one basket with Dylan hoping that he'd be the intelligent one going off to college and succeeding. It must've been disappointing for them to hit these big bumps in the road with Dylan - major red flags, actually, that they preferred not to see along the way.

Quote :
He slacked in class, made excuses for his actions and never accepted the blame "it is my belief that even though Dylan knows what he did was wrong, he still lessens the seriousness of the offense"

If you read Dylan's Discovery Report (within the Diversion Report) it is very telling as to how he felt about the whole program and his obvious arrogance - being too smart for an all day class in "cramped" confines.. He felt that the class was perfectly suited for those that were new to the information but a 'waste of time' for him because he 'already knew and applied what was taught' and that 'he grasped things quickly'. Imo, that report is a virtual gold mine of information and reveals the foibles of his character. I'm sure his parents partly instilled this intelligence thing in him his whole life since his childhood in the advanced learning program. They saw him as highly smart and he in turn, thought himself above the program. Apparently, too smart and above the law too. I read the Klebold's chapter from 'Not Far From the Tree' and Sue and Tom explain how they confronted Dylan about the car theft and they were both amazed and appalled that Dylan failed to grasp the moral implication. He told his mom something along the lines 'that's what the guy has insurance for'. Ugh.


Quote :
He also doesn't mention being depressed anywhere in his records,the closest is "feeling down" somewhere at the end of the report. In the beginning he was given the option to tick it. He'd already sprung on his parents that he drank and had used drugs before, I find it odd that he doesn't mention it.

I noticed that his mom ticked off 'anger', 'authority figures', 'job', 'loneliness'. She beat around the bush minimizing things on the report, crossing out stuff, and couches her words with the school computer hacking incident. Dylan, on the other hand, is very upfront with the offenses he committed and briefly summarizes the information accurately. In fact, for the most part, he takes front seat responsibility for the van theft (where as Eric reports that it was Dylan's idea and that Dylan did most of it). Maybe the reason Dylan confesses drug and alcohol use is because he feels he could get caught for withholding information should Eric acknowledge his own drug and alcohol use on his report. I found it extremely interesting that Dylan only ticked off concrete types of problems like 'job', 'finances' and "Kind of difficult to find a technicians job when I am only 16 years. " Feeling type problems do not seem to have any validity or worth for him to acknowledge in a public venue. Probably because it was too shameful to even broach the topic. It would be like opening up a can of worms and his parents would've probably probed him about it. If he'd already been in family counseling because of Bryon, he probably didn't want more agonizing therapy. Talking about feelings in general was probably too awkward and painful for him to admit or deal with. He seemed to keep his true feelings and depression under lock and key. Even his mom couldn't penetrate his wall. So he claimed: ''People are so unaware. ignorance is bliss, that would explain my depression.' People were unaware because he couldn't risk the vulnerability in letting them be aware.
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