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 The real life suicide note that "Adam's song" by Blink 182 is based on

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PaintItBlack
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PostSubject: The real life suicide note that "Adam's song" by Blink 182 is based on   Sun Aug 21, 2016 12:48 am

Very,very sad.I'm posting this here because it has a Columbine tie in with the fact that Greg Barnes was listening to this song when he killed himself.
It's the last thing he ever heard in this world.

RIP Adam and Greg.

To the man and woman who chose to conceive a child, the result of which was me, when it fit in with their five year plan;

To the teachers who never really cared, no matter what they say;

To my fellow geeks, dweebs, et. al., who will no doubt receive more abuse upon my passing, as my tormentors will no longer have me to kick around;

To my fellow students who made my life a living nightmare when they should have focused on their education;

To those who never cared, never spoke, probably never knew my name;
To the one true friend, whose caring was the only thing that prevented this even from happening sooner;

To the God, if he does exist, who chose to play a cruel, cruel joke on me when he placed me where he did and surrounded me with so many uncaring faces;

To all of you, goodbye.

I am leaving a world to which I never truly belonged or fit in. Do not weep for me, or mourn my passing. I say this not because I expect to be missed, but to allow those who truly did not care go on with their lives with a clean conscience and dry eyes. I know you don’t want to weep for me. So don’t. But I do ask you to listen to the final words of a young man who has taken charge of his own destiny.

Perhaps my parents might feel something inside which causes them to shed tears. They may pretend that it’s sorrow for their “loss”, but I hope it is something else. Perhaps sorrow for bringing a child into this world when they really didn’t have the time or desire to raise him. I wasn’t the product of love, born of a desire to prepare another human being to grow and lead the human race. I was merely the next acquisition, the next task, the next project on their list of things that bring significance.

No child should be brought into this world for the mere purpose of being just another possession. I am not an asset to be cataloged and listed on your tax forms beside your house and car, or fought over during your divorce proceedings. I am a human being. I’m sorry that it took this to make you realize that. If you don’t yet get it, then I’m even sorrier.

What about my teachers? Will they be sorry to see another student become a statistic? Certainly the administration and Principal Chowning will mourn, as my death will not reflect well on them as an institution. Well, I apologize for making the statistics for your administration worse. But I don’t expect an apology for the false sympathies of people like Mrs. Dunfee, and the broken promises of others like Mr. Richman.

As for my fellows students, those who made a more significant impact on my life, I know better than to expect my tormentors to mourn.

But if I’m going to address those who belittled me, I’d be remiss if I failed to include the ladies in my life. I guess that’s not entirely accurate, as the ones I refer to fall in two basic categories: those who refused to be in my life, and those who I would rather have excluded from my life. In the former category, Melinda Tunney, Jessica Silvers, and dear Kimmy Vanover, whose laughed in my face after I asked her to the homecoming dance, humiliating me in front of I don’t know how many other classmates. In the latter category are too many to mention, though I must single out Rebecca Cull and Vanessa Dietrich for their tremendous dedication to the cause of destroying any shred of self-esteem I might dare to foster. Why can’t you accept the things that make other people different rather than insisting everyone conforms to your will?

Sure, some did offer friendly gestures. Nicole Edwards often would greet me and ask about my life. Not that I ever felt comfortable enough to tell her anything; I never trusted her enough to give her the chance. What was the purpose? Did you really give a flip about the shy, quiet kid who sat behind you in 8th grade history? Or was it all about creating an illusion that you care, just to guarantee my voting for you as a class officer.

I can only conceive of one person in this world who will truly be sad at my parting. Marty, my best friend, you talked me out of this decision three times before. You even called 911 after I swallowed a bottle of pills. That is why I did not tell you anything this time, and why I do this in secret, alone. I wish you were coming with me on this great adventure, into the final frontier. Where ever I go, yours will be the one face I carry with me. The one soul I will miss. Yours is also the only forgiveness I ask and beg for as I depart from this life. I love you, and always will.

There’s another group I have not yet addressed: those not like me who left me alone. Or I should say ignored me. I appreciate your sparing me any further harassment, but your inaction, your withheld hellos and how are yous did more to hurt than any name calling. Your inaction effectively excluded me from student life, from the human race. You left me isolated and alone, and no words I could say can convey to you the suffering you caused. I could name names, but in doing so, I would do more now for you than you ever did for me in life.

I do not know if what awaits me at the end of this gun. Will there be a void? Or will I come face to face with God? I just don’t care any more. If you’re anything like your people, I wouldn’t want to know you. You preached to love one another, yet I’ve felt everything except love from Christians. Even if I could know you were different, well, I still reject you. You have left your “followers” to treat people like me poorly. You have allowed so many of the people you “love”, including me, to suffer. So you want me to trust you with my life? I don’t want to spend eternity with a careless deity like you, or with the company you keep.

As my final moments tick away, I wonder what impact these words will create. It depends first on this web site being found, as I doubt whether school administration will want such venom spoken publicly about their lack of caring. Still, the Internet is a remarkable place where even the least significant individual can be heard. Will anyone listen? Will anyone take action? Will students pause and pay attention to the hurting hearts around them? And even if they do, will it be a temporary salve for their egos, to convince themselves they’re really not bad people or will real change happen?

My heart certainly goes out to my fellow outsiders. With me gone, some of you will certainly feel more of the pain and hurt that I did. No one understands you. No one cares how your day is going. No one bothers to get to know you as anything more than a nerd, a geek, a loser. You can do nothing for their social status, save the occasional boost to the ego they get from putting you in your place. Some of you, like Andy Riker, will find outlets in writing. Some, like James Moon, will have an escape in art. Some, like Sean Gilbert, will live their lives pursuing unicorns that they will never, ever catch. I never had a talent to lose myself in, or a dream or unicorn to chase, and so I have taken the path most dreaded. Some of you may soon join me, and I look forward to welcoming a brother or sister to the land where you will never suffer the loneliness and rejection that faces you now.

Farewell forever. I am going to another place. Where, I do not know. But logic dictates that it can only be an improvement. Perhaps my passing will only prove a footnote in a school yearbook. Then again, perhaps the sacrifice of one might bring hope to others. If my death makes life for one person a little more bearable, or a little more enlightened, do I really die in vain?

“The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, or the one.”

- Adam Krieger

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PostSubject: Re: The real life suicide note that "Adam's song" by Blink 182 is based on   Sun Aug 21, 2016 3:39 am

I've been a huge Blink 182 fan since high school and followed them pretty closely up until their initial breakup back in 2005. So I'm pretty familiar with the stories behind "Adam's Song".

While it is true that the writer of "Adam's Song" (Mark Hoppus) did get the inspiration for the song from an article he read about a teen who committed suicide and left behind a note for his family, Mark's point of view was not of suicide but of loneliness and depression over always being alone and not having a girlfriend or relationship to go back home to after long tours with Blink 182. Mark's band mates always had girlfriends that they couldn't wait to get back home to after tour and Mark had nothing to look forward to going back home to because he didn't have a girlfriend/relationship waiting for him like his friends did.

The suicide letter that is going around the internet that is supposedly from someone named "Adam" is in fact a fictional letter from a play. It has absolutely no connection to "Adam's Song" or Blink 182 and the play wasn't written until at least 2 years after "Adam's Song" was released back in 1999.

As for Greg Barnes listening to this song on repeat when he committed suicide, that is true. The band was really upset when they heard about that happening because the message they wanted to convey with the song was that everyone has really hard times in life but that we all can push through those hard times and find strength to keep moving forward.

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PostSubject: Re: The real life suicide note that "Adam's song" by Blink 182 is based on   Sun Aug 21, 2016 4:02 am

I guess it is specific as this was playing during Greg's suicide, and Greg was a Columbine student. However the same could be said to literally any song that any one who had taken their own lives had on before their death. There's no exclusivity in suicide. Every single one is tragic.

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PostSubject: Re: The real life suicide note that "Adam's song" by Blink 182 is based on   Mon Aug 22, 2016 1:38 am

I am sorry this turned out not to be correct.All I knew is what was in the article I read.

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PostSubject: Re: The real life suicide note that "Adam's song" by Blink 182 is based on   Mon Aug 22, 2016 7:36 am

I think about Greg every time this song comes on the radio Sad

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PostSubject: Re: The real life suicide note that "Adam's song" by Blink 182 is based on   Mon Aug 22, 2016 2:08 pm

Lizpuff wrote:
I think about Greg every time this song comes on the radio Sad
me too.
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PostSubject: Re: The real life suicide note that "Adam's song" by Blink 182 is based on   Mon Aug 22, 2016 2:59 pm

As Jenn pointed out this isn't true. The song is meant to be about the feelings of loneliness and desperation that leads people to suicde, not about the actual act itself. Still its a very sad story and I really hate that E/D managed to make victims even after their deaths.
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PostSubject: Re: The real life suicide note that "Adam's song" by Blink 182 is based on   Tue Aug 23, 2016 7:01 pm

Greg Barnes was a basketball star but he was probably living in an absolute hell after it all happened. He was as much of a victim as everybody else who died on 4-20. He witnessed Saunders getting shot and he lost his best friend Matthew Kechter in the process.

Any money he was having nightmares/flashbacks and thought there was only one way to get rid of them. So sad.
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