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 Myself in Dylan?

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bradt93
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PostSubject: Myself in Dylan?   Sat Dec 31, 2016 9:56 pm

Some of you may wonder why I sometimes defend these 2 guys, I will tell you why, because I was bullied in middle school and I did have thoughts of shooting them. I got help though and now I'm doing well. I don't condone what they did, but I could see why they snapped. You only go so far before you reach a breaking point. Me and my dad were talking about this tonight, he thinks schools should lax the rules and just let people fight the bullies, that way they can defend themselves. I mean physically beating the living shit out of them. I told my dad that's what I should of done in middle school 15 years ago. I know some of you might say throwing punches and kicking won't solve the problem, but I think it could go a long way for the bullies to stop bothering others. Bullies are just very insecure people and that's why they go after the weak.
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bradt93
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PostSubject: Re: Myself in Dylan?   Sun Jan 01, 2017 5:43 am

Note to everyone, I'm not going to shoot anyone, I'm just explaining how I felt 15 years ago. It was a horrible feeling I had. I've been in therapy sessions and I'm on medication. I just can somewhat understand what those 2 boys might have felt, believe me I'm not defending their actions. I never asked a woman out, because I have the same social issues Elliot Rodger had.
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PostSubject: Re: Myself in Dylan?   Sun Jan 01, 2017 7:23 am

@bradt93 wrote:
Some of you may wonder why I sometimes defend these 2 guys, I will tell you why, because I was bullied in middle school and I did have thoughts of shooting them. I got help though and now I'm doing well. I don't condone what they did, but I could see why they snapped. You only go so far before you reach a breaking point. Me and my dad were talking about this tonight, he thinks schools should lax the rules and just let people fight the bullies, that way they can defend themselves. I mean physically beating the living shit out of them. I told my dad that's what I should of done in middle school 15 years ago. I know some of you might say throwing punches and kicking won't solve the problem, but I think it could go a long way for the bullies to stop bothering others. Bullies are just very insecure people and that's why they go after the weak.

I certainly didn't take shit from anyone in school. I never started a fight, but I'd finish it. Right or wrong, we were brought up that we let somebody hit us and did nothing, there'd be hell to pay at home. I'm sure that's "child abuse" now, but hey, it worked. It took one time beating the shit out of a girl who was a bully and that was the end of it. As I got older, I always took up for people who were bullied, made fun of or, in one case, picked on because he had Down Syndrome. Like I said I wouldn't start it, but I wouldn't sit idly by either. Right is right and wrong is wrong.

Although, not the same as bullying, I had a "boyfriend" who punched me in the face when I was probably 16 or 17. The coward sped off, but I caught up to him later that day and beat the shit out of that loser. I proudly bear the scars on my fingers where I broke his tooth. I don't play that shit ever. I hope he's kept that in the back of his tiny brain when he wants put hands on a woman or anyone else for that matter.
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bradt93
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PostSubject: Re: Myself in Dylan?   Sun Jan 01, 2017 8:05 am

Tomb wrote:
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:
Some of you may wonder why I sometimes defend these 2 guys, I will tell you why, because I was bullied in middle school and I did have thoughts of shooting them. I got help though and now I'm doing well. I don't condone what they did, but I could see why they snapped. You only go so far before you reach a breaking point. Me and my dad were talking about this tonight, he thinks schools should lax the rules and just let people fight the bullies, that way they can defend themselves. I mean physically beating the living shit out of them. I told my dad that's what I should of done in middle school 15 years ago. I know some of you might say throwing punches and kicking won't solve the problem, but I think it could go a long way for the bullies to stop bothering others. Bullies are just very insecure people and that's why they go after the weak.

I certainly didn't take shit from anyone in school. I never started a fight, but I'd finish it. Right or wrong, we were brought up that we let somebody hit us and did nothing, there'd be hell to pay at home. I'm sure that's "child abuse" now, but hey, it worked. It took one time beating the shit out of a girl who was a bully and that was the end of it. As I got older, I always took up for people who were bullied, made fun of or, in one case, picked on because he had Down Syndrome. Like I said I wouldn't start it, but I wouldn't sit idly by either. Right is right and wrong is wrong.

Although, not the same as bullying, I had a "boyfriend" who punched me in the face when I was probably 16 or 17. The coward sped off, but I caught up to him later that day and beat the shit out of that loser. I proudly bear the scars on my fingers where I broke his tooth. I don't play that shit ever. I hope he's kept that in the back of his tiny brain when he wants put hands on a woman or anyone else for that matter.
That is very interesting, because it wasn't guys who bullied me, it was women. I didn't want to hit a woman, that's why I didn't get physical with them.
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PostSubject: Re: Myself in Dylan?   Sun Jan 01, 2017 8:42 am

Oh wow, that's awful. Women can be vicious, cruel monsters, even more so than men sometimes. But, there are good ones, lots of good ones who genuinely care. I've seen this myself just on this forum alone. If you had been my friend, I certainly would have had your back. I'm so sorry for what you've went through.
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bradt93
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PostSubject: Re: Myself in Dylan?   Sun Jan 01, 2017 8:53 am

Tomb wrote:
Oh wow, that's awful. Women can be vicious, cruel monsters, even more so than men sometimes. But, there are good ones, lots of good ones who genuinely care. I've seen this myself just on this forum alone. If you had been my friend, I certainly would have had your back. I'm so sorry for what you've went through.
thank you, it's the main reason why I really don't like talking to women in real life. I can't tell if women are genuine or not. In some way, I created a safe space for me. I think you know what I mean.
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PostSubject: Re: Myself in Dylan?   Sun Jan 01, 2017 9:13 am

Psychological trauma can pull a person down. It is not necessary to dwell on the past, it's gone. You can't do anything with what it was, but can change your attitude.
Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift.

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PostSubject: Re: Myself in Dylan?   Sun Jan 01, 2017 9:21 am

Absolutely. I totally understand. You don't have to answer if you don't want to, but why would girls bully you? It infuriates me to see people mistreated. No one deserves that.

I have to be honest though, you're talking to a woman here Very Happy. I just happen to understand what you're saying. I do have to say, what kind of loser, low life "females" bully a guy? That speaks volumes about the kind of trash they are.
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bradt93
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PostSubject: Re: Myself in Dylan?   Sun Jan 01, 2017 9:23 am

I have no idea. I was just a quite guy minding my own business unless they wanted my attention for some reason.
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PostSubject: Re: Myself in Dylan?   Sun Jan 01, 2017 10:05 am

@bradt93 wrote:
I have no idea. I was just a quite guy minding my own business unless they wanted my attention for some reason.

Are you ok today, or does this still affect you?
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PostSubject: Re: Myself in Dylan?   Sun Jan 01, 2017 10:09 am

Tomb wrote:
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:
I have no idea. I was just a quite guy minding my own business unless they wanted my attention for some reason.

Are you ok today, or does this still affect you?
I'm okay today, could they have liked me and that was their way to get me to notice them?
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PostSubject: Re: Myself in Dylan?   Sun Jan 01, 2017 10:44 am

It could be, but that would be an ass backward way to go about it. Were they viciously mean? Did they tease you some? Or did they make your life hell? "People" who bully and are downright rotten are more often than not compensating for some shortcoming in themselves. These are some of the most insecure people alive.

I'm certainly no expert when it comes to women, only myself. If I liked a boy, perhaps in middle school I would have teased them. But as I grew older, I learned the art of flirting and being kind. Even if someone I had no interest whatsoever in "liked" me, I was always kind to them and often befriended them.

I'm sorry you experienced that with girls.
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bradt93
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PostSubject: Re: Myself in Dylan?   Sun Jan 01, 2017 10:54 am

They more like teased me.
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PostSubject: Re: Myself in Dylan?   Sun Jan 01, 2017 11:05 am

There is no point recollecting it anymore. There really isn't. I really hope you realise you need to let it go. No point for an explanation. Why? Cause you don't need to know why they're low-lives to stoop so low to pick on a guy like that. Especially women. Now is now. What makes you happy, what makes you unique, how would you like to better yourself if you ever feel inferior?

Question yourself once, twice, and a final time, if you're at loss.

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If you're so very good looking
Why do you sleep alone tonight?
I know because tonight is just like any other night
That's why you're on your own tonight
With your triumphs and your charms
While they are in each other's arms
Oh mother, I can feel the soil falling over my head
And as I climb into an empty bed
Oh well, enough said

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PostSubject: Re: Myself in Dylan?   Sun Jan 01, 2017 11:06 am

I'm not going through the same thing you are but I'm a little stressed now and it's stupid how ironic it is I want to help you and give you good advice, but I can't seem to help myself.

yikes.

_________________
If you're so very good looking
Why do you sleep alone tonight?
I know because tonight is just like any other night
That's why you're on your own tonight
With your triumphs and your charms
While they are in each other's arms
Oh mother, I can feel the soil falling over my head
And as I climb into an empty bed
Oh well, enough said

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PostSubject: Re: Myself in Dylan?   Sun Jan 01, 2017 11:11 am

Sometimes I feel like Eric too, and undeniably I understand why they did why they did. You want so bad to f*** some people up cause they're annoying as hell or really unreasonable and you feel like you deserve respect right? Others are treated right so why not you?

Evaluate the situation. If you know you've done nothing wrong and other people can see you as a special being and want your time of day and want to be part of your life, you can say eff the rest. If no one is giving you trouble and you don't need any fighting back then just take deep breaths and forget it. But remember, if standing up for yourself is required, do it, but do it maturely and in a calm manner.

_________________
If you're so very good looking
Why do you sleep alone tonight?
I know because tonight is just like any other night
That's why you're on your own tonight
With your triumphs and your charms
While they are in each other's arms
Oh mother, I can feel the soil falling over my head
And as I climb into an empty bed
Oh well, enough said

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PostSubject: Re: Myself in Dylan?   Sun Jan 01, 2017 11:28 am

I'd just like to add something here that has been very powerful in my life. I'm not getting into the horrible, awful heartbreaking story that precedes this, but needless to say a "man" hurt someone I love dearly for years until her untimely death at a young age. If you knew the story, most would agree that this "man" is lower than dog shit on my shoes. Truly vicious and abusive.

This "man" enraged me and I found myself consumed with hate for "him". I've said it time and again, hate is one of the most intoxicating emotions there is. Not a day went by that I didn't think of this piece of shit. God, how I hated him. For some reason, about 6 months into this self destructive cycle, I had an epiphany. I can hate him until I have a stroke and you know what? It doesn't affect "him" and "he" doesn't know nor does "he" care. The only person that was suffering was me.

I made up my mind that I forgave him. Not that he asked me to, not that he gave a shit. I forgave "him" so that I could let the hate and rage go. And the beauty of it is, he has absolutely no power over me whatsoever.

Now, I wouldn't piss on him if he was on fire, but what I feel is indifference, which is the exact opposite of love and much more hurtful. I have the memory of an elephant, so although I'll always remember what he did, I forgive him...only for me.


Last edited by Tomb on Sun Jan 01, 2017 11:59 am; edited 1 time in total
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shades
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PostSubject: Re: Myself in Dylan?   Sun Jan 01, 2017 11:32 am

Tomb wrote:
I made up my mind that I forgave him. Not that he asked me to, not that he gave a shit. I forgave "him" so that I could let the hate and rage go. And the beauty of it is, he has absolutely no power over me whatsoever.

Now, I wouldn't piss on him if he was on fire, but what I feel is indifference, which is the exact opposite of love and much more hurtful. I have the memory of an elephant, so although I'll always remember what he did, I forgive him...only for me.

YES! YES! POWERFUL, YES!

That's the idea right there.

Do it for YOURSELF because YOU deserve PEACE.

_________________
If you're so very good looking
Why do you sleep alone tonight?
I know because tonight is just like any other night
That's why you're on your own tonight
With your triumphs and your charms
While they are in each other's arms
Oh mother, I can feel the soil falling over my head
And as I climb into an empty bed
Oh well, enough said

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bradt93
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PostSubject: Re: Myself in Dylan?   Sun Jan 01, 2017 11:46 am

You're right, it was a long time ago, besides those guys from middle school probably barely remember me now.
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bradt93
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PostSubject: Re: Myself in Dylan?   Sun Jan 01, 2017 11:48 am

I'm just saying though back then their was really no reason for me to be picked on, I didn't do anything to anyone. They were nothing, but immature idiots.
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PostSubject: Re: Myself in Dylan?   Sun Jan 01, 2017 11:55 am

There's no reason for my boss to be a total prick either as I haven't done a thing, turns out everyone knows how much of a dick he is, but people endure cause it's a job. I've still got some evaluating to do, regardless. and I have to remain calm and stand my ground.

The point is that if you know you're not at the wrong you have no need to fish for explanation years later.
Especially if you know they're immature idiots.

_________________
If you're so very good looking
Why do you sleep alone tonight?
I know because tonight is just like any other night
That's why you're on your own tonight
With your triumphs and your charms
While they are in each other's arms
Oh mother, I can feel the soil falling over my head
And as I climb into an empty bed
Oh well, enough said

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bradt93
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PostSubject: Re: Myself in Dylan?   Sun Jan 01, 2017 11:57 am

The "suck it up" technique doesn't work, that's why people snap at schools and shoot up everyone. Bullies need to face consequences and I'm tired of teachers saying "kids will be kids"
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PostSubject: Re: Myself in Dylan?   Sun Jan 01, 2017 12:24 pm

Adding on to what I said previously, please don't think this was easy and that it happened overnight. I'm still working at it 5 years later. It's HARD! For Christmas this year, I wrote him what I consider a masterpiece. I didn't curse him, I didn't say what he should be told. It was the coldest letter I've ever written, but I wanted him to know that I KNOW how he treated this person and that I KNOW so much that she told me about him. I should win a Nobel Peace Prize or something. It was epic. I say that to say that although I've come so far, emotion will fear it's ugly head from time to time. I should have sent that letter years ago, but I stupidly assumed he would do the right thing. I know since I don't have long left in this world, I wanted his ass to know what I thought. And I feel good about that.

It's so hard to speculate why some people do the things they do, why they treat people terrible, why they just want to be miserable excuses for humans. I wouldn't even let it take up room in my head, because it's only hurting you more. Not them, you. These were/are people who were so pathetic that they needed to make you feel bad in order to feel good about themselves. The best revenge is living well.

I think you'll find a lot of like minded people here who are very intelligent, kind and truly special. I'm here (for now) if you want to talk. @shades is awesome too.
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