www.churchofdylananderic.com--What Was It?

Back in '99 or '00, there was, apparently, an unabashed worship site--literal worship--for Harris and Klebold. This site is referenced on Lear's Shadow, in the essay "ChainE/D Reaction at Columbine's Jock Cult," also known as "Scorched Earth at CJC." So these guys, in the "church," swarmed into the CJC Yahoo group and were, as expected, angry and nutty and worshipped Eric and Dylan and yelled at people who didn't. After some time, they all got deleted along with the rest of CJC. There's still a site address for the, uh, "churchies" as I think they were called.

But what was really ON that site? I can't find any archived data, or text, aside from the quotes on the Lear's Shadow page. I tried the wayback machine on the site address in the topic title. Not there. I tried looking through old Yahoo groups. Couldn't find shit. All I could find were references to the fact that they existed, people thought they were obnoxious, and some "internet dangers to our children" publication cited them as an example of a scary internet bugaboo. ("Promoting anti-social values" or something equally laughable. Ah, those were the days...)

Does anyone have anything from these guys preserved, recorded, archived, etc?

Interesting to note that there's been E & D worshipers from all the way back then. I thought it was a relatively new phenomena born in the last few years and mainly contained on Tumblr. Guess I was wrong.

"And their Holy Flesh shall be reborn into cinaminnis when the sacred sounds of Du Hast are heard." ;)

And the Gods of sadness are looking down on the zombies and their wrath will descend upon them. Because they have not received the gift of self awereness.

Ha, you are smartasses today.

But being serious, anything on the cultists archived? Anything?

FredPete wrote:

Ha, you are smartasses today.

But being serious, anything on the cultists archived? Anything?

Sorry FredPete, I would have loved to help you out, but I can't...

"There is no God but Marilyn Manson, and you shall place no false idols before him."

tragedy79 wrote:

"And the Gods of sadness are looking down on the zombies and their wrath will descend upon them. Because they have not received the gift of self-awareness."

FTFY. The holy words of E/D must always be placed in quotation marks.

MnM wrote:

tragedy79 wrote:

"And the Gods of sadness are looking down on the zombies and their wrath will descend upon them. Because they have not received the gift of self-awareness."

FTFY. The holy words of E/D must always be placed in quotation marks.

Thanks MnM...maybe a Holy Bible of E/D in the Fanfiction section?

"Hallowed be thy grenades. And from thy sacred head-wounds poureth the wine of revolution for all of the dispossessed, thy apocalypse come, thy human extermination be done, amen."

Darn shame there's nothing saved from the site...I'll have to look harder. Just morbid fascination within morbid fascination, that this is a lot older than people realize.

Hell, I remember there were dementoid fans writing sex fantasies on LIVEJOURNAL, back when the dinosaurs still roamed the earth.

MarmaladeSkies wrote:

Interesting to note that there's been E & D worshipers from all the way back then. I thought it was a relatively new phenomena born in the last few years and mainly contained on Tumblr. Guess I was wrong.

Same!
This is new to me

Thy Sacred Columbiners Prayer via Ye Church of Tumblr

The Columbiner’s Prayer

Our Columbabes and Columbros,

who art in the Columbine tag,

Columbiners be thy name.

Thy Basement Tapes come, thy cini-mini’s eaten with ketchup

now, as it was in 90’s.

Give us this day our daily Reb & Vodka, and forgive us for being so fucking godlike,

as we forgive those who shot up their school.

And lead us not to the Trench Coat Mafia,

but deliver us from the evil that is Dave Cullen.

For thine is the Wrath and the Natural Selection forever.

JJJEEAAAA!!!!!!!!!

Print your own Eric candle

tragedy79 wrote:

MnM wrote:

tragedy79 wrote:

"And the Gods of sadness are looking down on the zombies and their wrath will descend upon them. Because they have not received the gift of self-awareness."

FTFY. The holy words of E/D must always be placed in quotation marks.

Thanks MnM...maybe a Holy Bible of E/D in the Fanfiction section?

Yeah, we should just have mods move the topic there.

InFiNiNcEX5 wrote:

Thy Sacred Columbiners Prayer via Ye Church of Tumblr

The Columbiner’s Prayer

Our Columbabes and Columbros,

who art in the Columbine tag,

Columbiners be thy name.

Thy Basement Tapes come, thy cini-mini’s eaten with ketchup

now, as it was in 90’s.

Give us this day our daily Reb & Vodka, and forgive us for being so fucking godlike,

as we forgive those who shot up their school.

And lead us not to the Trench Coat Mafia,

but deliver us from the evil that is Dave Cullen.

For thine is the Wrath and the Natural Selection forever.

JJJEEAAAA!!!!!!!!!

Print your own Eric candle

That is hilarious!

Lightning Proof wrote:

InFiNiNcEX5 wrote:

Thy Sacred Columbiners Prayer via Ye Church of Tumblr

The Columbiner’s Prayer

Our Columbabes and Columbros,

who art in the Columbine tag,

Columbiners be thy name.

Thy Basement Tapes come, thy cini-mini’s eaten with ketchup

now, as it was in 90’s.

Give us this day our daily Reb & Vodka, and forgive us for being so fucking godlike,

as we forgive those who shot up their school.

And lead us not to the Trench Coat Mafia,

but deliver us from the evil that is Dave Cullen.

For thine is the Wrath and the Natural Selection forever.

JJJEEAAAA!!!!!!!!!

Print your own Eric candle

That is hilarious!

This is the funniest thing I've read all week. But the best part was the line about Dave Cullen and I liked the JJJEEAAAA at the end. It reminded me of Rebs, Vodka and Kibbz's Jo Mamma jokes.

"Will Smith and Tiger Woods are the enemies of mankind- and both must perish."

"All who dwell within the holy shadow of Eric and Dylan shall be permitted to fly through futuristic cities on hover boards with the Spice Girls in the Afterlife."

"A man shall not lie with a man nor shall a woman lie with a woman... well, okay, two lesbians is pretty fucking hot so that's okay but seriously, have you ever heard of two roosters fucking? So, it's still wrong but, it is okay because lesbians are really fucking hot!"

"The censored version of Mortal Kombat 1 must never be played- use the cheat code for the Sega Genesis. Woe, do not be temped by Satan's superior graphics and sounds and controls on the SNES! Oh ye who honor Mortal Kombat cannot honor it by falling for such trickery!"

"Behold- the Wrath of Eric is most legendary. Brooks Brown suffered greatly for daring to cross him and dishonoring his transportation needs. But behold, those who fall out of the favor of the gods are not damned, for they are most merciful! Beg thee forgiveness for thy sins to the gods and ye shall be shown mercy when Gehenna approaches!"

"Ye that wish to dwell in the minds of the gods must first watch the films of Tarantino and Spielburg. Blessed are they, for they alone are worthy to chronicle the lives of the gods upon film."

"Oh, ye who actually understand the hidden meanings of "The Lost Highway" art most blessed for ye now walketh the path of self-enlightenment!

Seek not answers from others, you must view the sacred chronicles repeatedly until they cement within your soul!"

This sounds like the beginning of a Bioshock game. A bunch of Eric and Dylan worshipers get together and form their own utopia. I'll give them three weeks until they all try to kill each other. We can call the game Bullyshock Infinite.

The final boss of the game can be Brenda Parker.

sergeant hartman wrote:

This sounds like the beginning of a Bioshock game. A bunch of Eric and Dylan worshipers get together and form their own utopia. I'll give them three weeks until they all try to kill each other. We can call the game Bullyshock Infinite.

The final boss of the game can be Brenda Parker.

Well, I have some rpg maker 2000 skills (scmrpg engine) so with some more details in this storyline we could create some terrible abomination together...

The Big Daddy units could be robots modeled after Rocky Hoffschneider, and the Little Sisters could all be cheerleaders.

Make this. Make this terrible creation and give us further infamy amongst the fellow users in this corner of the Internet.

I'm not too familiar with the Bioshock franchise however.

Make an infamous 'Columbiner' as another boss, perhaps?

How about Dave Cullen

churchofdylananderic.com

That site seems to have been purged from the net.


"Whatever is uploaded to the net stays on the net."

"What Happens on the Internet, Stays on the Internet. Forever."


Guess it really doesn't stay on the net forever. Another lie.

Lol'd hard at Bioshock-Columbine, somebody tell Ken Levine, please

From the book of John (Savage)
John 11:35
Dylan Wept