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 I'm Scared.

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hate99
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PostSubject: I'm Scared.   Sat Jun 17, 2017 1:48 am

I never realized how much shit I was getting myself into when I researched mass shootings, but when you're a kid, no matter how mature you are, people are going to react badly. I wish I could delete my entire digital footprint, and start over. If my parents looked at the stuff I posted or researched, they'd take it the wrong way. I didn't ask for this interest. It just was there, but everyone will think I'm crazy.

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PostSubject: Re: I'm Scared.   Sat Jun 17, 2017 1:53 pm

Plenty of sane people are interested in these kinds of extreme or morbid topics. You just have to decide for yourself where this interest springs from so that if it is ever brought up by your parents you can have some answers for them.

Think about it honestly, too. Why did you start researching mass shootings? Why was an initial cursory read not satisfying to you? What do you think about when you read about these events, or the people involved?

I often refer to this kind of thing as a rabbit hole. You have a responsibility to yourself and those around you to assess where your interest springs from and to continually monitor your own mental state along the way. If you don't maintain perspective, you can become hopelessly lost.

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PostSubject: Re: I'm Scared.   Sun Jun 18, 2017 12:53 am

There's nothing wrong with an interest in the subject, long as you don't have a desire to hurt anyone.
You know, I talk so much about murder, my friends call me "Murderpedia"! Both of them!

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PostSubject: Re: I'm Scared.   Mon Jun 19, 2017 2:36 am

I hide my power level pretty well lmao. It's not unhealthy until it becomes like an autistic obsession, I've been able to keep my Columbine and crime related interests at guilty pleasure level.
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PostSubject: Re: I'm Scared.   Mon Jun 19, 2017 11:57 pm

Well, what people might find more disturbing is my prevailing interest in Sandy Hook.

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PostSubject: Re: I'm Scared.   Tue Jun 20, 2017 1:08 am

I get it you got caught up in the Manza but it's not too late. Just don't play dance dance revolution.
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PostSubject: Re: I'm Scared.   Mon Jun 26, 2017 6:19 pm

I used too obbsess over serial killers my favourate being
Jeffrey dahmer
Richard ramirez
Peter sutcliffe
Then I stumbled Upon mass shooters
Columbine
Sandy hook
V tech
People think I'm strange but I really don't care what people think.
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PostSubject: Re: I'm Scared.   Tue Jun 27, 2017 11:46 am

I mean unless you are posting online about wanting to emulate these crimes which I believe you said before you are not...then what is wrong with the interest? The true crime community is huge and there are a lot of great things to be learned by researching. There is nothing wrong with being interested in crime.

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PostSubject: Re: I'm Scared.   Wed Jun 28, 2017 3:14 am

If you're really worried, why not just lock your computer when it's not in use, or even whenever you leave the room? It really isn't anything to worry about anyway. Unless you've ever said anything incriminating or threatening, but I'm going to assume you haven't. Someone's interest in true crime shouldn't automatically mean that they plan on becoming criminals themselves. Does an interest in military history automatically mean someone desires to be a soldier?

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PostSubject: Re: I'm Scared.   Fri Sep 15, 2017 4:07 am

I understand. People will always think you're planning something if you are interested in stuff like this.

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PostSubject: Re: I'm Scared.   Sun Sep 17, 2017 12:06 am

That's the reason I took so much time off from looking into Columbine or ANY true crime. I was made to feel like there was something wrong with me. I did a paper on Columbine my freshman year of college and got sent to the school counselor.

There is such an abundance of True Crime related podcasts etc. now that it's odd when I meet people who DON'T have a case they know a lot about. Or someone who doesn't know what a Murderino is.

I am still surprised at the fact that nearly 18 years later I still have a soft spot for Columbine.. I can still see myself as that 17 year old who related to Eric and Dylan. The more I learn about Dylan, the more I see a lot of similarities in us from back then. That freaks me out. The whole case makes me sad. Way too many lives were torn apart. You have 13 victims of Eric and Dylan, and they had their own set of problems that led them to it. It is a vicious cycle. As an adult I find it hard to look into anything with Sandy Hook or any other shooting, because I see them as monsters, but when it comes to Columbine, I'm just that kid again who is like "I get it.. don't kill people obviously but I get it" and there was also the shock when it first when I asked "um.. they're hot right?" no one got that except the online community. I still don't think they are ugly at all, that's the thing, the dangerous ones aren't always the ones foaming at the mouth.
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