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 What if E/D was YOUR child?

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Jenn
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PostSubject: Re: What if E/D was YOUR child?   Thu Nov 21, 2013 6:22 pm

I have merged these two topics, because they are pretty much discussing the same thing. When making new threads, try searching older topics first and bump them to add your discussion to the topic, instead of creating a new thread.

I understand that it may be missed sometimes, as I have done that myself, but please try going through older threads first because chances are, it may have already been discussed.

Thanks.

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rik75



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PostSubject: Re: What if E/D was YOUR child?   Thu Nov 21, 2013 7:37 pm

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:
I have merged these two topics, because they are pretty much discussing the same thing. When making new threads, try searching older topics first and bump them to add your discussion to the topic, instead of creating a new thread.

I understand that it may be missed sometimes, as I have done that myself, but please try going through older threads first because chances are, it may have already been discussed.

Thanks.
Hi Jenn ,i didn't know this topic had already been done. I think it would be a good idea to delete my thread. I am sorry and i will make sure i read older threads in future. When i have a new thread in mind ,i will make sure that it has not previously been posted. Sorry.
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Jenn
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PostSubject: Re: What if E/D was YOUR child?   Thu Nov 21, 2013 7:42 pm

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:
I have merged these two topics, because they are pretty much discussing the same thing. When making new threads, try searching older topics first and bump them to add your discussion to the topic, instead of creating a new thread.

I understand that it may be missed sometimes, as I have done that myself, but please try going through older threads first because chances are, it may have already been discussed.

Thanks.
Hi Jenn ,i didn't know this topic had already been done. I think it would be a good idea to delete my thread. I am sorry and i will make sure i read older threads in future. When i have a new thread in mind ,i will make sure that it has not previously been posted. Sorry.
Don't worry about, it's OK. I have done that myself. I've made a thread that a member had already made too and I've been here since day 1. Even I mess up sometimes and I know the forum is getting really big now and you may miss older topics. I didn't delete your topic, I just merged it to the topic that already existed. No worries, no need to be sorry. I just ask that members check older threads before making new ones to see if that topic has already been discussed.

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Wideawake

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PostSubject: Re: What if E/D was YOUR child?   Sat Dec 07, 2013 7:22 pm

gustopoet wrote:
I think this is an interesting question. If I were the parent of either of the boys I would be unable to ever forgive myself for overlooking the obvious signs of danger. I'm not sure there is anyway to cope other than what the actual families have been trying to do. Their opportunities to impact the situation pretty much vanished after 4-20. I do think both families had chances to stop NBK, particularly the Harrises. If my kid had filled out a self-audit that explicitly stated he was suicidal and homicidal and he had a simultaneous obsession with vandalism, threats, guns, bombs, and murder... I think I would have probably delved in a little deeper to find out was going on and maybe even taken more aggressive steps such as pulling Eric out of school. I probably would have been very concerned about the amount of time the two boys were spending together: almost every class, worked in the same place, always hanging out together. After the van incident, I might have tried to restrict this association.

The tough reality is: parents don't actually control their kids. You can make all the apparently "right" moves and still lose your kid to his or her own personal demons.
We don't know for sure that the Harrises actually saw the self-audit though. And obviously they were aware that he liked guns and had built a pipe bomb, but they were a military family so I think that liking guns was hardly unusual, and many teenage boys build pipe bombs. He was seeing a psychiatrist and taking medication, so I'm sure they thought they were doing what they needed to. I would agree about restricting the association, but if they had tried...what would that really accomplish? Should they have made Eric quit his job, where he was thought to be a wonderful employee and was doing well? Tried to switch their classes? They would have found ways to be together if they wanted to. Look at Romeo and Juliet. (Okay, not the same, but you know what I mean.)
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PostSubject: Re: What if E/D was YOUR child?   Fri Dec 23, 2016 5:55 pm

It would be very difficult to realize the full horror and believe in the reality of what happened. To some extent, parents of Eric and Dylan are much heavier than the parents of the victims (strange as it may sound). Can't even imagine what I would do in public. On the one hand you love your child, on the other hand what he did has no excuses for most. Although any tragedy need to draw conclusions, not just to condemn.
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