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 If Dylan had just committed suicide

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42099_4EVA
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PostSubject: If Dylan had just committed suicide   Sat Jan 06, 2018 9:49 pm

I heard the song "Second Chance" by Shinedown today and from reading Dylan's notes and how philosophical he was and how he looked at life, I feel like if he had never did NBK and had just committed suicide by himself (or even if he had ended his life with Eric - but without them doing NBK), I feel like the song's lyrics below, probably would've been the type of words or note (or lyrics) that he would've left for Sue and Tom before he ended his life.

Every time I hear this song I'm reminded of Dylan, I hear it and it always feels to me like this song would be the final message regarding his life to everyone, which always emotionalizes me. The song also reminds me of Eric too, since Eric often talked about the stars and stuff, but mostly of Dylan, because the song's lyrics sounds like how he would talk about life and about having a better chance (which tome always sounded like he wanted a second chance at a better life to me), or life somewhere else and all that. I even tend to think that even with him and Eric doing NBK, had Dylan written out a a goodbye letter for Sue and Tom before doing NBK, it probably would've looked something like the words below too, I could be wrong but that's just my thinking.


My eyes are open wide, by the way, I made it through the day.

I watch the world outside, by the way, I'm leaving out today.  

I just saw Haley's Comet, she waved, said, "Why are you always running in place?"  

Even the man in the moon disappeared, somewhere in the stratosphere.

Tell my mother, tell my father I've done the best I can,  to make them realize this is my life, I hope they understand.

I'm not angry, I'm just saying,  sometimes goodbye is a second chance.


Please don't cry one tear for me, I'm not afraid of what I have to say.

This is my one and only voice, so listen close, it's only for today.  

I just saw Haley's Comet, she waved, said, "Why are you always running in place?"  

Even the man in the moon disappeared, somewhere in the stratosphere.    

Tell my mother, tell my father, I've done the best I can,  to make them realize this is my life, I hope they understand.

I'm not angry, I'm just saying, sometimes goodbye is a second chance.

Here is my chance, this is my chance.

Tell my mother, tell my father I've done the best I can, to make them realize this is my life, I hope they understand.

I'm not angry, I'm just saying, sometimes goodbye is a second chance, sometimes goodbye is a second chance, sometimes goodbye is a second chance.
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PostSubject: Re: If Dylan had just committed suicide   Sat Jan 06, 2018 10:35 pm

This song has always struck a cord with me as well.  Although nothing relating to Columbine.

Shinedown is just a kick ass band. Very Happy

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PostSubject: Re: If Dylan had just committed suicide   Sat Jan 06, 2018 11:24 pm

Thanks for sharing.

I wish Dylan would have told someone how he felt, truly. Even a therapist. He always listened to others but never thought about letting go of his own feelings. I don't even think Eric truly realized the depths of his despair. I think Eric thought he was just angry like him. Then again, Eric saw a therapist and he still ended up committing suicide. I guess talking doesn't make it all better.

I don't have firsthand knowledge of the topic of depression so I can only speculate. Plus, I know other mental illnesses were likely involved to compound the situation.
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PostSubject: Re: If Dylan had just committed suicide   Sun Jan 07, 2018 12:49 am

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:
This song has always struck a cord with me as well.  Although nothing relating to Columbine.

Shinedown is just a kick ass band. Very Happy

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:
Thanks for sharing.

I wish Dylan would have told someone how he felt, truly. Even a therapist. He always listened to others but never thought about letting go of his own feelings. I don't even think Eric truly realized the depths of his despair. I think Eric thought he was just angry like him. Then again, Eric saw a therapist and he still ended up committing suicide. I guess talking doesn't make it all better.

I don't have firsthand knowledge of the topic of depression so I can only speculate. Plus, I know other mental illnesses were likely involved to compound the situation.

Yeah, I just heard the song for the first time in years today (the last time I heard it was back in 2000) and it was the first time the song moved me to tears, because it reminded me more of Dylan today than it ever has before. I guess because today I actually took the time to listen and re-listen to the lyrics and not just the beat and the music. Then too, watching the video of Dylan in the car with Nate last night, and I've seen that video tons of times but last night when I watched it, last night was the first time ever that I watched it and truly saw sadness and pain in Dylan's eyes and then I saw all the things he could've been had he lived and not did 4/20/99. I mean, Dylan's smile is there but it's as if I can see through his smile and I can see the true him, which is this - deep sadness. It's like that legend with black eyed kids (I don't know if anyone has ever heard of the legend), they say when you come across a black eyed kids, they give off this incredible feeling of dread.

Well when I saw the footage of Dylan last night, in that video, I could just feel him giving off this incredible feeling of deep sadness. It was so overwhelming that it really made me cry, which is remarkable because not much gets to me, and I've never been too keen on Dylan as I have Eric but last night, that all changed. I truly got and realized what people meant when they said Dylan was depressed and suicidal, and so then today I heard the song and it just all connected with Dylan. I don't know, I just thought I'd share that. I feel like that song - to me, speaks volumes of his life and what his final message would've been to everyone who was affected by his life and death - whether they knew him personally or not.
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PostSubject: Re: If Dylan had just committed suicide   Sun Jan 07, 2018 1:01 am

Since we're on the topic of Dylan and music, I always thought the song "Just Like Heaven" by The Cure was a good representation of what Dylan felt and wanted in a girl and in a relationship. I really love the song.

"You, soft and only, you lost and lonely
You, strange as angels
Dancing in the deepest oceans
Twisting in the water
You're just like a dream
You're just like a dream"

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PostSubject: Re: If Dylan had just committed suicide   Sun Jan 07, 2018 1:28 am

When I watch the breakfast run video I try to analyze it, he slurs his words a bit and is even more soft spoken but it's so eerie that 24 hours after he and Eric would be getting ready to commit murder.

I think his depression scared him then it turned to anger. He didn't feel human or like he was allowed to be. Early in his journal he wrote "I don't know when I got so fucked up"
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PostSubject: Re: If Dylan had just committed suicide   Sun Jan 07, 2018 2:22 am

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:
Early in his journal he wrote  "I don't know when I got so fucked up"

Scariest part to me. He didn't even realize that he had gotten to that point until it was too late.
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PostSubject: Re: If Dylan had just committed suicide   Sun Jan 07, 2018 2:54 am

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:
Early in his journal he wrote  "I don't know when I got so fucked up"

Scariest part to me. He didn't even realize that he had gotten to that point until it was too late.

I also wonder if he ever reached out to anyone, he said "no one will help me"
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