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 Revisiting Sue's Comment

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Screamingophelia
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PostSubject: Revisiting Sue's Comment   Wed Mar 07, 2018 6:06 pm

I came upon a Youtube video from a new commentator whose content I have been enjoying. I usually don't seek out too much True Crime content or Columbine content on YT, sometimes you get people who have no idea what they are talking about (coughOnisioncough)

He was speaking about Sue's interview with Diane Sawyer and how heartbreaking it was when Sue said she was praying Dylan would die if he was hurting people... and he was talking about the moment when a parent could stop loving their child.

I find it interesting because on one hand Sue didn't know Dylan's involvement and it was only in October that she realized how involved Dylan was. She thought he was tricked or threatened into doing it.

I still understand her wish for him to stop and she really wanted to believe and understand his suicidal ideations. I know Dylan would not have lasted in prison and in that moment she just wanted the violence to stop. Though when she made the prayer, Dylan was already dead.

Do you feel any different than you first did when you heard this? Have your thoughts changed at all?


Last edited by Screamingophelia on Wed Mar 07, 2018 7:44 pm; edited 1 time in total
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PostSubject: Re: Revisiting Sue's Comment   Wed Mar 07, 2018 7:40 pm

So I try to put myself in Sue’s shoes and how she must have felt when she realized that her son might be involved in killing other people.  I know I wouldn’t want anyone to die because of a choice that my child made but I believe I would have a hard time praying for their death.  I think my first thought would be is can I try to possibly talk them down.  But we now know that would not have worked with Dylan.  Death was the only escape for him.  

In my opinion, and maybe this is just my beliefs for myself, but it would take a lot of hurt and pain caused on the behalf of your child to stop loving them.  I don’t think Sue ever stopped loving Dylan and I believe she still loves him to this day.  I think in the moment that she claims she made that prayer, she was in shock and disbelief and she just wanted the situation to end before anymore kids got hurt.  I feel like she probably felt like she was trapped in a nightmare that she knew she would never escape.

I have always felt sorry for Sue because she is a mostly innocent victim in this chaos and disaster that her son caused.  But at the same time I feel like there were some missed opportunities by her that could have possibly changed the course of events on 4/20.  With all that being said, I do feel like Sue is making an effort to change others lives with the lessons she has learned from Columbine. None of us will ever know the heavy burden that she will carry for the rest of her life but at least she is trying do something positive with the shitty hand she has been dealt.
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PostSubject: Re: Revisiting Sue's Comment   Wed Mar 07, 2018 7:48 pm

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:
So I try to put myself in Sue’s shoes and how she must have felt when she realized that her son might be involved in killing other people.  I know I wouldn’t want anyone to die because of a choice that my child made but I believe I would have a hard time praying for their death.  I think my first thought would be is can I try to possibly talk them down.  But we now know that would not have worked with Dylan.  Death was the only escape for him.  

In my opinion, and maybe this is just my beliefs for myself, but it would take a lot of hurt and pain caused on the behalf of your child to stop loving them.  I don’t think Sue ever stopped loving Dylan and I believe she still loves him to this day.  I think in the moment that she claims she made that prayer, she was in shock and disbelief and she just wanted the situation to end before anymore kids got hurt.  I feel like she probably felt like she was trapped in a nightmare that she knew she would never escape.

I have always felt sorry for Sue because she is a mostly innocent victim in this chaos and disaster that her son caused.  But at the same time I feel like there were some missed opportunities by her that could have possibly changed the course of events on 4/20.  With all that being said, I do feel like Sue is making an effort to change others lives with the lessons she has learned from Columbine. None of us will ever know the heavy burden that she will carry for the rest of her life but at least she is trying do something positive with the shitty hand she has been dealt.


I agree and I sometimes wonder, to me there was the Mothers Day incident where in hindsight she could have asked Dylan to explain more about his anger that may have given her more insight. I think by then Dylan’s mind was made up.

I also wonder what would happen if his parents were like you’re not going to school, we are physically stopping you because you need a day off...
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PostSubject: Re: Revisiting Sue's Comment   Wed Mar 07, 2018 7:53 pm

I often wonder what would have happened if she ran after Dylan the morning of 4/20 when he rudely said bye.  If only she had taken the time to stop him and see why he was so angry...
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PostSubject: Re: Revisiting Sue's Comment   Wed Mar 07, 2018 8:06 pm

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:
(coughOnisioncough)

Wait what.

This Onision? https://encyclopediadramatica.rs/Onision

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PostSubject: Re: Revisiting Sue's Comment   Wed Mar 07, 2018 8:21 pm

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:
(coughOnisioncough)

Wait what.

This Onision? https://encyclopediadramatica.rs/Onision

Yep!
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PostSubject: Re: Revisiting Sue's Comment   Thu Mar 08, 2018 12:07 am

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:
(coughOnisioncough)

Wait what.

This Onision? https://encyclopediadramatica.rs/Onision

Yep!

I'm not shocked in the least. Onision is a pretty stupid person all around.

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PostSubject: Re: Revisiting Sue's Comment   Thu Mar 08, 2018 8:27 am

I agree that Sue never stopped loving him. There is no amount of anything my daughter could do to me to make me stop loving her.

I understand her comments. Knowing her child was killing others and relishing in it must have been something that broke her logic. She thought she knew her son, thought he was still the beacon of light that she raised. She wanted to stop the pain before it spread and she probably knew that talking to Dylan wouldn't stop him. Nothing short of death.

Sue seems like a good mother. Then I start to think about what Dylan was going thru and I wonder what she noticed if anything

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PostSubject: Re: Revisiting Sue's Comment   Thu Mar 08, 2018 8:31 am

I can understand how Susan would pray that Dylan would die if he was killing people.

Extreme to some but

To think that your "pure" son is shooting/killing a bunch of people would be dreadful to any parent.



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PostSubject: Re: Revisiting Sue's Comment   Thu Mar 08, 2018 9:15 am

While I do believe in the moment of horror at the realization that Dylan was hurting or killing people, Sue may have had the passing thought or prayer for his death as a way to stop what was happening. But in no way do I believe she put very much effort into those thoughts or prayers.

Sue said herself that her first thoughts were for her son, and much later she would grieve for his victims. She also talked about how selfish she knew that was.

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PostSubject: Re: Revisiting Sue's Comment   Thu Mar 08, 2018 9:49 am

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:
While I do believe in the moment of horror at the realization that Dylan was hurting or killing people, Sue may have had the passing thought or prayer for his death as a way to stop what was happening. But in no way do I believe she put very much effort into those thoughts or prayers.

Sue said herself that her first thoughts were for her son, and much later she would grieve for his victims. She also talked about how selfish she knew that was.

This may be unpopular but I don't think she should feel guilty for her feelings. Whatever Dylan did, he was still her son and he still died. It is sad there were other victims but she was his mother and she loved him. Sue and Tom lost just as much that day

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PostSubject: Re: Revisiting Sue's Comment   Thu Mar 08, 2018 9:55 am

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:
While I do believe in the moment of horror at the realization that Dylan was hurting or killing people, Sue may have had the passing thought or prayer for his death as a way to stop what was happening. But in no way do I believe she put very much effort into those thoughts or prayers.

Sue said herself that her first thoughts were for her son, and much later she would grieve for his victims. She also talked about how selfish she knew that was.

This may be unpopular but I don't think she should feel guilty for her feelings.  Whatever Dylan did, he was still her son and he still died.  It is sad there were other victims but she was his mother and she loved him.  Sue and Tom lost just as much that day

Completely agreed! You don't just turn the love for a child off. I am sure she hates his actions/hates what he became, yet still loves him. Sad

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PostSubject: Re: Revisiting Sue's Comment   Thu Mar 08, 2018 10:16 am

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:
While I do believe in the moment of horror at the realization that Dylan was hurting or killing people, Sue may have had the passing thought or prayer for his death as a way to stop what was happening. But in no way do I believe she put very much effort into those thoughts or prayers.

Sue said herself that her first thoughts were for her son, and much later she would grieve for his victims. She also talked about how selfish she knew that was.

This may be unpopular but I don't think she should feel guilty for her feelings.  Whatever Dylan did, he was still her son and he still died.  It is sad there were other victims but she was his mother and she loved him.  Sue and Tom lost just as much that day

I agree as well. It wasn’t selfish of her to think of her son. Dylan up to their day was her pride and joy. She was scared all morning that something had happened TO him not that he was doing anything. Stark. contrast to what we think of the Harrises.
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PostSubject: Re: Revisiting Sue's Comment   Thu Mar 08, 2018 10:56 am

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Sue seems like a good mother.  Then I start to think about what Dylan was going thru and I wonder what she noticed if anything

If we're gonna go down that road I'd argue that Eric's parents were far more negligent in parenting their child.

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PostSubject: Re: Revisiting Sue's Comment   Thu Mar 08, 2018 11:03 am

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:
Sue seems like a good mother.  Then I start to think about what Dylan was going thru and I wonder what she noticed if anything

If we're gonna go down that road I'd argue that Eric's parents were far more negligent in parenting their child.

Never said they were not. I just look at it with facts like Dylan was practically emaciated when he died. He was spending all his time alone in his room or with Eric being secretive, and he was drinking. She must not have been as involved as she states


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PostSubject: Re: Revisiting Sue's Comment   Thu Mar 08, 2018 11:50 am

In 1999 in Colorado could they have had Dylan involuntarily committed?

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PostSubject: Re: Revisiting Sue's Comment   Thu Mar 08, 2018 12:13 pm

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In 1999 in Colorado could they have had Dylan involuntarily committed?

I'm not sure. scratch  Although they possibly could have IF it was determined he was a danger to himself or others, as he was still underage at the time.

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PostSubject: Re: Revisiting Sue's Comment   Thu Mar 08, 2018 12:19 pm

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:
In 1999 in Colorado could they have had Dylan involuntarily committed?

I'm not sure. scratch  Although they possibly could have IF it was determined he was a danger to himself or others, as he was still underage at the time.

I’m not saying Dylan would not have killed himself shortly after...


Then you wonder, if that happened the morning of, what would Eric have done?
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PostSubject: Re: Revisiting Sue's Comment   Thu Mar 08, 2018 12:20 pm

I think if lets say Dylan was committed and was going to be away for a while, Eric would have given up the plan for the time being. No matter what others think, I just don't see him going about the plan alone

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PostSubject: Re: Revisiting Sue's Comment   Thu Mar 08, 2018 12:27 pm

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:
I think if lets say Dylan was committed and was going to be away for a while, Eric would have given up the plan for the time being.  No matter what others think, I just don't see him going about the plan alone


Agree. In Eric's own words NBK was his and Dylan's war against the world.

"No one is to blame except me and Vodka. Our actions are a two man war against everyone else."

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“Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishings.”

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PostSubject: Re: Revisiting Sue's Comment   Thu Mar 08, 2018 12:51 pm

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:
I think if lets say Dylan was committed and was going to be away for a while, Eric would have given up the plan for the time being.  No matter what others think, I just don't see him going about the plan alone

Me neither. They needed each other to carry this out.
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PostSubject: Re: Revisiting Sue's Comment   Thu May 17, 2018 6:27 pm

Didn’t she hear that high number of 25 killed and that’s when she’d prayed he die before anymore could be hurt?
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PostSubject: Re: Revisiting Sue's Comment   Fri May 18, 2018 2:12 am

She did also mention in her book that she regretted praying for his death later
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