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Tommy QTR
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PostSubject: Depression   Thu Apr 12, 2018 3:34 am

I have suffered depression for a while now and have noticed it has gotten much worse, I think about killing myself everyday and how easy it would be to jump out of my bedroom window head first onto hard concrete but am too much of a pussy to do it.

I have nearly committed suicide several times but have never gone through with them, sometimes I wish I had.

I have no friends, no Girlfriend, no chance of a happy future. I haven't even kissed a girl or held a girl's hand yet while other people at School have lost their virginity at 14, it just makes me feel like a loser who nobody cares about, it doesn't help that I have autism and Social Anxiety as well.

I sit on my own during lunch and when I do sit next to people they don't try to make conversation with me. I'm bullied quite often and can't fight back because I'm weak and would be excluded from School if I got into a fight, everyday I get called "spastic", "freak", "weirdo", "twat", "cunt", "bastard" etc...

I just don't want to live anymore, I want this all to stop, not like anyone apart from my family would care anyway if I died, I bet they wouldn't even have a memorial for me or even notice I was gone.
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PostSubject: Re: Depression   Thu Apr 12, 2018 3:59 am

I had depression since December 2017 until this March (I've lost 10 kg, had steady insomnia, obsessive thoughts and etc), I started to take Paroxetine pills and now I feel myself much better, and even started to go out and do sports. I just recommend you to go to doc and to talk honestly.

You are only 16, there gonna be a lot good things in the future, believe me. I was depressed girl, bullied in school, with low self-esteem (still have this problem), but everything had changed after I finished my school.



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PostSubject: Re: Depression   Thu Apr 12, 2018 12:16 pm

I was so depressed in highschool I stopped going there and instead took the courses on an other school the next year. It was really good for me, partly because I got way better grades because I wasn't in an environment that sucked my soul out of me and partly because it made me feel good about myself that I actually put my foot down and was honest to myself about the severity of my depression.

It felt sooo good after all the therapists and my parents telling me to just hang in there and it'll get better to finally be like "Hey, you know what? It hasn't gotten any better so your advice is bullshit and I'm dropping out"

People (aka my parents, lol) act like quitting school or switching schools is such a big deal but honestly when it comes to crippling depression I'D do ANYTHING to avoid it, and so I did. It got better.

To me it was very hurtful to watch people pressure me to finish school while I withered away. It's like nobody cares if you're happy, everyone just wants you to DO WHAT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DO.

I hope society can develop beyond that some day.




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PostSubject: Re: Depression   Thu Apr 12, 2018 2:15 pm

@munchkinphone wrote:
I was so depressed in highschool I stopped going there and instead took the courses on an other school the next year. It was really good for me, partly because I got way better grades because I wasn't in an environment that sucked my soul out of me and partly because it made me feel good about myself that I actually put my foot down and was honest to myself about the severity of my depression.

It felt sooo good after all the therapists and my parents telling me to just hang in there and it'll get better to finally be like "Hey, you know what? It hasn't gotten any better so your advice is bullshit and I'm dropping out"

People (aka my parents, lol) act like quitting school or switching schools is such a big deal but honestly when it comes to crippling depression I'D do ANYTHING to avoid it, and so I did. It got better.

To me it was very hurtful to watch people pressure me to finish school while I withered away. It's like nobody cares if you're happy, everyone just wants you to DO WHAT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DO.

I hope society can develop beyond that some day.





the worst is that where i live you can't drop out without a ged

i hate california

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PostSubject: Re: Depression   Thu Apr 12, 2018 2:18 pm

the worst is when you're lonely, awkward, weird, hyperactive, have odd rituals, and cant get a girlfriend and then some popular social person tells you "girls only care about personality" or "it gets better after highschool" lol i'm gonna get a job where i don't feel like punching a wall every 3 seconds due to "normies"

i hate when people are nice to you because they want to look good by helping you but never help you. all of the "counselors" i've met know jack shit. cant understand it if you havent experienced it. i also hate when people think by smiling and thinking positively your mental disorder will just go away.
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PostSubject: Re: Depression   Thu Apr 12, 2018 2:47 pm

There is truth to the term "fake it 'til you make it" but you have to actually enjoy faking it and who the hell enjoys that when they are depressed, and also surrounded by people who are fake as well...

It all becomes pointless at that point. No, I believe that feelings demand to be felt and dealt with before they can be let go.
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PostSubject: Re: Depression   Fri Apr 13, 2018 2:26 pm

I have School Monday and I really don't want to go, being tormented for 6-7 hours is not worth it. I might as well die now, not like anyone there is going to miss me anyway.
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PostSubject: Re: Depression   Fri Apr 13, 2018 5:21 pm

@Tommy QTR wrote:
I have School Monday and I really don't want to go, being tormented for 6-7 hours is not worth it. I might as well die now, not like anyone there is going to miss me anyway.

You should go to a new school or drop out.
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Tommy QTR
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PostSubject: Re: Depression   Fri Apr 13, 2018 5:22 pm

eldigato wrote:
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:
I have School Monday and I really don't want to go, being tormented for 6-7 hours is not worth it. I might as well die now, not like anyone there is going to miss me anyway.

You should go to a new school or drop out.
There's no point since I'm leaving in 3 months.
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PostSubject: Re: Depression   Fri Apr 13, 2018 5:30 pm

@Tommy QTR wrote:
eldigato wrote:
@Tommy QTR wrote:
I have School Monday and I really don't want to go, being tormented for 6-7 hours is not worth it. I might as well die now, not like anyone there is going to miss me anyway.

You should go to a new school or drop out.
There's no point since I'm leaving in 3 months.


Ah, I hope you get through it well
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PostSubject: Re: Depression   Fri Apr 13, 2018 6:52 pm

Tommy, you just gotta apply your self man, like you have the audience (class mates), so you just gotta put on the show. No one will throw them selves at you, so that means you can't throw your self at people either.
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Tommy QTR
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PostSubject: Re: Depression   Sun Apr 15, 2018 5:57 am

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:
Tommy, you just gotta apply your self man, like you have the audience (class mates), so you just gotta put on the show. No one will throw them selves at you, so that means you can't throw your self at people either.
That won't work.
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PostSubject: Re: Depression   Mon Apr 16, 2018 4:52 am

I'm nearly 20 and was diagnosed with clinical depression and social anxiety at age 14. I know its the last thing you could ever believe, but it genuinely does get better. I promise you, high school is nothing. It feels like the entire world at the time but once you get out it can get so much better. I tried to kill myself more than once as a teenager and looking back, I'm so glad I was never successful. Please keep going, I promise, I promise, I promise, there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
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PostSubject: Re: Depression   Mon Apr 16, 2018 6:31 pm

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:
Tommy, you just gotta apply your self man, like you have the audience (class mates), so you just gotta put on the show. No one will throw them selves at you, so that means you can't throw your self at people either.
That won't work.

How do you know it won't work?
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Tommy QTR
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PostSubject: Re: Depression   Mon Apr 16, 2018 6:32 pm

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:
Tommy, you just gotta apply your self man, like you have the audience (class mates), so you just gotta put on the show. No one will throw them selves at you, so that means you can't throw your self at people either.
That won't work.

How do you know it won't work?
Because I've tried it before.
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PostSubject: Re: Depression   Mon Apr 16, 2018 7:01 pm

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:
I'm nearly 20 and was diagnosed with clinical depression and social anxiety at age 14. I know its the last thing you could ever believe, but it genuinely does get better. I promise you, high school is nothing. It feels like the entire world at the time but once you get out it can get so much better. I tried to kill myself more than once as a teenager and looking back, I'm so glad I was never successful. Please keep going, I promise, I promise, I promise, there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

I've never been diagnosed with anything of this sort, but I've gone through many things in life, and when I was a teen it was an endless nightmare, but as time went on, things got better.

It wasn't necessarily that other people changed and stopped being judgemental, hateful, intolerant losers-----they still were, I just knew how to handle them and ignore them better. I had no reason to be around them any longer because high school ended.

@Tommy QTR, things will change, and most of it will just naturally occur through time.

I promise you, at your age, your experience or lack thereof is perfectly fine and nothing to be embarrassed about. Don't listen to these lowlife scumbags saying all of these things to you.

Everything will come to you in due time, and you'll appreciate it more than those who simply had things handed to them and didn't appreciate it.

I'm not always immediately available, but if you ever want to PM me and talk, please feel free.

If you do, I promise to get back to you as soon as I possibly can.
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Tommy QTR
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PostSubject: Re: Depression   Thu Apr 19, 2018 11:18 am

After having two days off School I'm ready to go back, I just needed a break from that place.
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Tommy QTR
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PostSubject: Re: Depression   Tue Apr 24, 2018 7:15 pm

I've noticed I've lost a lot of waste even that I have been eating normally, is this normal of depression?
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PostSubject: Re: Depression   Tue Apr 24, 2018 7:22 pm

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:
I've noticed I've lost a lot of waste even that I have been eating normally, is this normal of depression?

Weight loss can be a symptom, yes.

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PostSubject: Re: Depression   Tue Apr 24, 2018 10:16 pm

what are the medications like in the uk
my zoloft was upped to 150mg and i dont have depression anymore nor anxiety
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Tommy QTR
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PostSubject: Re: Depression   Sat Apr 28, 2018 8:39 pm

I don't really want to take medication since people think I'm weird enough and probably think I'm more of a freak if I'm popping pills.
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PostSubject: Re: Depression   Sat Apr 28, 2018 10:40 pm

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:
I don't really want to take medication since people think I'm weird enough and probably think I'm more of a freak if I'm popping pills.

Just don't tell anyone Tommy, it will be good.
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PostSubject: Re: Depression   Sun Apr 29, 2018 12:00 am

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:
I don't really want to take medication since people think I'm weird enough and probably think I'm more of a freak if I'm popping pills.

Do you care about what they think?

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Tommy QTR
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PostSubject: Re: Depression   Sun Apr 29, 2018 5:10 am

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:
I don't really want to take medication since people think I'm weird enough and probably think I'm more of a freak if I'm popping pills.

Do you care about what they think?
I don't want them to bully me more.
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PostSubject: Re: Depression   Sun Apr 29, 2018 11:06 am

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:
I don't really want to take medication since people think I'm weird enough and probably think I'm more of a freak if I'm popping pills.

Do you care about what they think?
I don't want them to bully me more.

Sounds to me like they're going to bully you regardless of what you do.

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Tommy QTR
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PostSubject: Re: Depression   Sun Apr 29, 2018 1:25 pm

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:
I don't really want to take medication since people think I'm weird enough and probably think I'm more of a freak if I'm popping pills.

Do you care about what they think?
I don't want them to bully me more.

Sounds to me like they're going to bully you regardless of what you do.
I also want to own a gun when I'm older and being on anti-depressants may prevent that.
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PostSubject: Re: Depression   Sun Apr 29, 2018 7:07 pm

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:
I don't really want to take medication since people think I'm weird enough and probably think I'm more of a freak if I'm popping pills.

Do you care about what they think?
I don't want them to bully me more.

Sounds to me like they're going to bully you regardless of what you do.
I also want to own a gun when I'm older and being on anti-depressants may prevent that.


Here is my advice to you, take what you want from it. Now this is just me assuming, but you probably spend a lot of time in your room, on the internet, and in public, on the internet. If you are on the internet too much, and you are in your room a lot, confined, that will make you depressed man. I know a few things you should do to help out with it. Your brain likes to be stimulated, rewards you with that dopamine shit, if you don't get enough of that dopamine shit, you are gonna be sad. Like man, I recommend you like buy a bike or something and ride that when you can, I don't know, its fun for me. You don't gotta be some ass hole and buy a 2000 dollar bike, and get up in all this biker shit with like a biker suit, gloves, a helmet, I mean you can, but you don't gotta do none of that shit. I guess what I am trying to say is to get outside more man. I mean if you expect a lot out of life, you aren't gonna get what you want, but if you are like "shit man, its cool I guess" that stuff you do get, will be better.
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PostSubject: Re: Depression   Mon Apr 30, 2018 8:09 am

I have had depression for around 10 years. You just get used to it. Sometimes its ruining my mind completely.. Sometimes its lower. But it will always remain.

But hey. that is what Society today does. It does not allow our soul to be free. We are told that we are our physical body. No power or choice. No freedom to be who you truly are.

You can think freely and do whatever you want, as long it is as they want.

I am not following the ways of society anymore tho. Unfortunately depression they gave to me will remain.

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PostSubject: Re: Depression   Mon Apr 30, 2018 1:22 pm

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:
I have had depression for around 10 years. You just get used to it. Sometimes its ruining my mind completely.. Sometimes its lower. But it will always remain.

But hey. that is what Society today does. It does not allow our soul to be free. We are told that we are our physical body. No power or choice. No freedom to be who you truly are.

You can think freely and do whatever you want, as long it is as they want.

I am not following the ways of society anymore tho. Unfortunately depression they gave to me will remain.

Dude man, society says "dude man fuck, what ever" people got so much freedom now man. Got the freedom to be what you want, you can say "I am a woman now" or you can say "I am a dude" and the main stream will accept you.
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PostSubject: Re: Depression   Mon Apr 30, 2018 10:05 pm

depression is a fucking hard thing to get over

most people who say they have it are just sad

depression is real hard to treat

my medications work a bit but psycyatrists think i may have borderline personality disorder or bipolar
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