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 Why did Eric kill himself first?

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evelynssye



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PostSubject: Why did Eric kill himself first?   Sat Jun 02, 2018 4:43 pm


When you're plan something so grand and destructive it's one thing. When you're plan it with someone else, it's another. We don't know who exactly had the idea for NBK. My guess is that Eric had wanted to cause major destruction by doing something, but didn't know what exactly and maybe even felt he, himself, could not do it alone. If Eric hadn't gone through with NBK though, I do see him doing something in his mid 20's if he hadn't matured and gotten help. However, I believe Dylan sprained the idea one day when the two were talking about NBK by Oliver Stone and possibly other "shoot 'em up" movies and subjects of similar nature. We will never know now.. but one day the joke becomes a plan and the two get hell bent on it.

You have to think. Eric and Dylan were planning this. Was there no second guessing for each of them? Did Eric have hunches Dylan might wuss out and tell his parents or the cops about their plans? Did Dylan think Eric might blow the whole project while having an angry outburst at someone like his parents or consoler? Possibly. But to have such an enforced agreement to "blow the school up" while not saying a word for months speaks volumes about the relationship of the two. Such a pact. Eric may not have been Dylan's best friend, but Eric was the one Dylan saw he could do the deed with while committing suicide. Eric, however, thought of Dylan as his best friend and the person he could trust the most, especially with planning for NBK.

This is where my question comes in. Why did Eric go and kill himself first before Dylan? I feel like barely anything was said before Eric just paced over to the bookshelves, sat down and stuck the shot gun in his mouth. Was Dylan dumbfounded, that one moment they were shooting at cops and the next he hears a shot gun blast and it's Eric killing himself? Did they have a conversation when gearing up saying, " Hey, when the time comes to go, we're just gonna go on our own terms." Was the plan so badly botched to Eric, having a broken nose, and feeling like a complete failure because the bombs didn't go off he just thought, screw it I'm out?

One thing that may have nothing to do with the situation that sticks out for me, is when Eric is writing in his journal on a small rant about women. He writes, " Deal with it or commit suicide, just do it quick."

"Just do it quick." Before you have time to think about or feel anything else...? Was that why Eric killed himself first? Or perhaps he was just done with everything. And Dylan ... the one thing that he didn't want to do alone, was the last thing he ever did. Kill himself alone.

Thoughts, opinions?

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PostSubject: Re: Why did Eric kill himself first?   Sat Jun 02, 2018 4:54 pm

This pretty much sums up what I think. I don't think Eric really said anything. I think he stopped shooting at the cops, walked over to the bookshelf, sat down and killed himself. Dylan was still playing around with a Molotov.

Dylan had a shotgun bullet in his boot. I think he put that bullet there to ensure he had a bullet to shoot himself with. I think Dylan changed his mind and decided to use the Tec 9 because he saw how the shotgun blew part of Eric's head off.

Dylan had been wanting to commit suicide for awhile but could never bring himself to do it. Even at the very end, I think he still hesitated.

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PostSubject: Re: Why did Eric kill himself first?   Sat Jun 02, 2018 5:06 pm

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:
Dylan had been wanting to commit suicide for awhile but could never bring himself to do it. Even at the very end, I think he still hesitated.


[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]  I do think Dylan kind of stalled a wee bit before he was finally able to pulled the trigger. It also makes me wonder what the 19 years following Columbine would have been like IF he had chickened out and not killed himself.

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PostSubject: Re: Why did Eric kill himself first?   Mon Jul 23, 2018 12:23 am

I think Eric killed himself so abruptly because he saw this grand plan of his that he dedicated himself to for almost year fall apart over the course of about 60 minutes. He even said himself "This is what I want to do with my life!" The bombs he was sure would level the cafeteria, were duds. The big shootout with the SWAT wasn't happening, and at that point; while I'm sure he thought they killed more than 13, came nowhere close to the body-count they had expected. At the end of the day, he thought he would just be lumped together with Carneal, Johnson, Golden, and other recent shooters. The very people he ridiculed on the basement tapes. Compound that with the adrenaline wearing off, And Arlene was all he had left.
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PostSubject: Re: Why did Eric kill himself first?   Mon Jul 23, 2018 12:33 am

It was probably just quick. Very unlikely that Eric would have said anything. I think they just both stopped shooting, Dylan must have been looking away or distracted by something and Eric just walked over to the bookshelf, sat down and blew his brains out. Then Dylan heard it, walked over and saw that Eric was dead. Which knowing Dylan, he probably flipped out and started panicking. He left a shotgun bullet in his shoe so he could have a bullet to kill himself just in case, but then I guess he saw what the bullet did to Eric's head and decided to bail on that. He stalled for a little bit, which I further believe because he lit his final Molotov, threw on the table nearby then went on his knees, took out his TEC-9 and shot himself in the head. He died scared and alone and that was the one thing he was probably hoping he'd do with Eric but Eric was clearly pissed off and disappointed on how this whole massacre failed, compared to their original plan and just wanted out.
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PostSubject: Re: Why did Eric kill himself first?   Mon Jul 23, 2018 3:02 am

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:
You have to think. Eric and Dylan were planning this. Was there no second guessing for each of them? Did Eric have hunches Dylan might wuss out and tell his parents or the cops about their plans?

All the info we have seems to point that Eric got along much better with his parents, especially his dad, than Dylan with his folks. I think Eric considered it entirely unlikely for Dylan to "wuss out and tell his parents". If anything, I'd say he was concerned that Dylan might get a girlfriend or somehow else find a point in life and a reason to live.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:
Did Dylan think Eric might blow the whole project while having an angry outburst at someone like his parents or consoler? Possibly.


Yesh, though neither was very concerned about secrecy. Pretty much all their friends knew that they talk about bombs etc.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:
But to have such an enforced agreement to "blow the school up" while not saying a word for months speaks volumes about the relationship of the two. Such a pact. Eric may not have been Dylan's best friend, but Eric was the one Dylan saw he could do the deed with while committing suicide. Eric, however, thought of Dylan as his best friend and the person he could trust the most, especially with planning for NBK.


I'm not sure about the friend part. I'd say by 1999 Eric was in fact Dylan's best friend, even though he had other friends. Most other people who hanged out with them mention that Dylan spent more time with Eric than anyone else. They sat and ate lunch togeather all the time etc.

I do need to note that Dylan obviously considered other options - to go do it alone, or to go with some redacted person. He wrote in his diary at one point that himself and another person are Godlike (the person was redacted so it wasn't Eric, it possibly was a girl).

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:
This is where my question comes in. Why did Eric go and kill himself first before Dylan?

Why would he care at that point? Eric was there for the mayhem, carnage and the feeling of power. He did what he wanted, he was sure by that point taht he can't make the bombs go off, he was running low on ammo and knew no easy targets are around.

At this point, he already did "his job" and did not relaly need Dylan to commit suicide. Dylan on the otehr hand I'm sure needed someone to be with him. He felt he needed someone to go along with him to death's gate.

Quote :
I feel like barely anything was said before Eric just paced over to the bookshelves, sat down and stuck the shot gun in his mouth.
We have absolutely no idea if anything was said and where. By that time nobody was in the library, the victims left there had passed out. There was time enough when they were roaming the school or after they came back to the library. They could have easily talked for several minutes. Plus remember that they had something like 12 months of car rides togeather to discuss it face-to-face before.

Quote :
Was the plan so badly botched to Eric, having a broken nose, and feeling like a complete failure because the bombs didn't go off he just thought, screw it I'm out?

I think that's unlikely. I think it was more of a: "Ok, I did what I could and what I wanted. Bombs didn't explode and didn't kill any cops, but there's no chances to do so. Nothing I can do to make the mission more complete than it is now. Time to go."

Quote :
One thing that may have nothing to do with the situation that sticks out for me, is when Eric is writing in his journal on a small rant about women. He writes, " Deal with it or commit suicide, just do it quick. "Just do it quick." Before you have time to think about or feel anything else...?"
Doubt this has anything to do with his suicide. I think it means: "Kill yourself and spare me the hysteria/drama/nonsense talk/fuss."


All in all I think Dylan was scared of being left alone at death's gate, plus I think suicide mattered more to him than to Eric, so for him it was more of a ritual. He wanted more time, for Eric it was a "formality", a way to evade prison rather than a ritual.

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PostSubject: Re: Why did Eric kill himself first?   Mon Jul 23, 2018 2:00 pm

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:
Dylan had been wanting to commit suicide for awhile but could never bring himself to do it. Even at the very end, I think he still hesitated.


[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]  I do think Dylan kind of stalled a wee bit before he was finally able to pulled the trigger. It also makes me wonder what the 19 years following Columbine would have been like IF he had chickened out and not killed himself.

If Dylan had chickened out, he would for sure have been imprisoned for the rest of his life. Though Colorado does have the death penalty, I doubt they would have imposed it.

I also believe he would have had a huge cult following not unlike Varg Vikernes, Anders Brievik, Charles Mansion and the like. But much, much larger. Ultimately though, I feel he (they), are far more infamous dead. In death there is mystery.


Last edited by JayT on Mon Jul 23, 2018 2:31 pm; edited 1 time in total
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PostSubject: Re: Why did Eric kill himself first?   Mon Jul 23, 2018 2:09 pm

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:
In death there is mystery.


Agreed. In my opinion the many mysteries of Columbine is what has kept most people interested in the case for so long.

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Life asked Death, "Why do people love me, but hate you?"  Death responded, "Because you are a beautiful lie, and I am a painful truth."

                                                                                                                                                                                      -Unknown

My heart has been so badly broken and mended again. Stronger than ever because of its dreadful wounds that I thought it could never break again. But at the sight of his face, at the knowledge that he was taking his leave forever, beyond death, it shattered.
                                                                                                                                                                                -Jeanne Kalogridis

I have love in me the likes of which you can scarcely imagine and rage the likes of which you would not believe. If I cannot satisfy the one, I will indulge the other.
           -Mary Shelley's Frankenstein
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