This One?
"Eric David Harris,
I didn’t know the person hiding under your smile. I didn’t know about the pain you carried in your heart. I didn’t know the torture you endured for so long. And I didn’t want to believe you were capable of such destruction. I didn’t know I could feel such pain for someone I really didn’t know. If I knew what your eyes hid, and what your mind was screaming, maybe I could have helped you. I could have loved you. All I know is the pain I am feeling inside. All I know is the person I talked to everyday, the person who seemed happy, the person who always helped me and made sure I had everything I needed. I see your picture on the pages, they say what a monster you are, they say how you were mean and cruel. But you see, I can’t believe what they say. I knew the smiling person, the person who helped me. I don’t want to hear it anymore. I want it to go away, the angry cries well up in me and I hate you for making me so scared and sad. Leaving me without any explanation. Leaving me with wandering thoughts and hollow cries. Did you try and reach me? Did you try to tell me? I will live with the memories and the unanswered questions I hold in my heart. Not a day will go by that I will not wonder why. As times goes by, I am getting stronger, but then the moment comes when I break down and cry. I am so sorry I didn’t see the rage you had inside. I am sorry I was so blind and couldn’t see all the things you tried to show me. No matter how wrong you were, I will love the person who smiled and said “Hi” to me everyday. I promise to never forget the person I knew, and forget the person they say you were.
Love Always and Forever,
Susan DeWitt"