Susan DeWitt's letter to Eric after his death

This is a pretty deep letter written by her about Eric after the massacre. It makes me seem like she really liked him and they even could of had a relationship.
What do you guys think about this?
She also was a pretty girl, a great score for Eric if he stuck around.

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“Eric David Harris,

I didn’t know the person hiding under your smile. I didn’t know about the pain you carried in your heart. I didn’t know the torture you endured for so long. And I didn’t want to believe you were capable of such destruction. I didn’t know I could feel such pain for someone I really didn’t know. If I knew what your eyes hid, and what your mind was screaming, maybe I could have helped you. I could have loved you. All I know is the pain I am feeling inside. All I know is the person I talked to everyday, the person who seemed happy, the person who always helped me and made sure I had everything I needed. I see your picture on the pages, they say what a monster you are, they say how you were mean and cruel. But you see, I can’t believe what they say. I knew the smiling person, the person who helped me. I don’t want to hear it anymore. I want it to go away, the angry cries well up in me and I hate you for making me so scared and sad. Leaving me without any explanation. Leaving me with wandering thoughts and hollow cries. Did you try and reach me? Did you try to tell me? I will live with the memories and the unanswered questions I hold in my heart. Not a day will go by that I will not wonder why. As times goes by, I am getting stronger, but then the moment comes when I break down and cry. I am so sorry I didn’t see the rage you had inside. I am sorry I was so blind and couldn’t see all the things you tried to show me. No matter how wrong you were, I will love the person who smiled and said “Hi” to me everyday. I promise to never forget the person I knew, and forget the person they say you were.

Love Always and Forever,

Susan DeWitt”

Has anyone ever been able to confirm this letter was legitimately authored by Susan?

If she did write it I feel so sorry for her. She really cared about him.

It's heartbreaking but I don't think (I'm just assuming here) it was that hard for her to move on from that. They haven't been together that long and I thought the open letter to him was her form of release and letting go. From her words she would be more hurt of what he went through and what he hid as opposed to feeling like he lied to her and abandoned her. It was more about him to her than herself. She acted like the bigger person, and that's pretty dope in a relationship sense. Eric might've been happy with her, his father seemed to like her too.

Hi [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.], do you mind letting us know where you found this? It sounds like more of something a Columbiner would write than someone who actually knew him.

This is sweet, but how does she feel about the fact that Eric was perfectly ok blowing her up on 4/20 along with everyone else? I often wonder this about Robin Anderson too..... Since she cared so much about Dylan.

Someone once told me that everything was planned at that particular lunch time because Dylan knew that Robin would not be at school at that time.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] would it be the same for Susan? She leaves the school during lunch time no?
Idk if that theory is true. but, what about the rest of their friends? Anyone they were ok would've been at the bomb placement areas.

So actually thank you for bringing this up. End of the day, they intended to take out many. and then I remember again that Dylan spared John because he knew him. But I think John was just EXTREMELY lucky that day and he was lucky he had that conversation with Dyl. Infact I don't think they care who they might've killed.

Freezingmoon wrote:

This is sweet, but how does she feel about the fact that Eric was perfectly ok blowing her up on 4/20 along with everyone else? I often wonder this about Robin Anderson too..... Since she cared so much about Dylan.

Someone once told me that everything was planned at that particular lunch time because Dylan knew that Robin would not be at school at that time.

"She stated that it was her habit to go home for lunch and return to the school at approximately 11:45AM and that Eric was aware of this because she would frequently see him while walking to her car to leave for lunch."
The same thing goes for Robin. From her statement, Dylan knew that she would not be in school.

ThoughtBox wrote:

Hi [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.], do you mind letting us know where you found this? It sounds like more of something a Columbiner would write than someone who actually knew him.

I found it awhile ago on some sort of news websites. I also went to some of the best Columbine tumblrs that are really serious about only posting things that are proven true, and they verified it.
I'm positive it's real, although the motive of why she wrote it I can't tell you. Maybe it really was eating away at her like she said, and this was the best way to let it out.

ThoughtBox wrote:

Hi [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.], do you mind letting us know where you found this? It sounds like more of something a Columbiner would write than someone who actually knew him.

I agree with this comment lol.

It might actually be legit, though. Also, there's a nice tribute for Lauren at this link: [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Poor Susan if she did indeed pen that letter. Definitely a lot of denial but certainly well-meaning in her words. Must've been pretty crazy for her to come to terms with what Eric did, especially since he was so nice and attentive to girls he was attracted to. You only need to watch the footage of him at Columbine intently listening to Brandi Tinklenberg's inane rambling to see that. You would actually think from his body language that he was genuinely interested whilst listening to her gossip about a "fake blonde cheerleader with, like, major eyeliner". Complete undivided attention. (p.s. it's kind of weird watching the Eric in Columbine video and seeing teenagers engaged in the most dull conversations whilst being completely smartphone-free).

But yes, it's a great shame that Susan couldn't have somehow helped Eric, who knows how things could have turned out if someone like her had shown him love, but unfortunately I think his problems ran a lot deeper than what she realised.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] true, hence the "under different circumstances it would have been alot different" from his end.

Here is a link that explains more of where the letters came from. It seems like it was a creative release for the students to let out their feelings by writings or something of the sort.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

thank you [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

I do know that in the 11k it is mentioned by some teachers that the students had been given an assignment to write about the 20. And the teacher had mentioned that some girls had written things that disturbed him because they wrote about them like they loved them/looked up to what they had done.

I have not gotten far enough to find out more info but this supports what slippy123 posted.

It makes me think about how E&D would react to their fans lol, they expected copycats but not fangirls.

why would some girls worship them after they're dead then, they were so unnoticable when they were alive and they could've possibly met them?
this is one of those occasions where you literally got to be dead to be cared about and somehow it just works.

liquorvamp wrote:

why would some girls worship them after they're dead then, they were so unnoticable when they were alive and they could've possibly met them?
this is one of those occasions where you literally got to be dead to be cared about and somehow it just works.

I am sure they did some things to turn off girls they asked out or at least Eric did.
As far as is known Dylan only ever asked out two girls.After he was rejected I don't think he had it it in him to keep trying .
But I truly believe if they had allowed themselves to live or had lived in a different area in the first place both would have had much more success with girls.
That area is obviously very conformist and not tolerant of anything different.And E &D were definitely different .They were also looked down on by a lot of people.They never really had the chance to develop skills with girls like a lot of guys do.
Some guys are never without a girlfriend from like the 7th grade on.

slippy123 wrote:

Here is a link that explains more of where the letters came from. It seems like it was a creative release for the students to let out their feelings by writings or something of the sort.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Thank you [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]! I guess Susan was one of the very first Columbiners!

ThoughtBox wrote:

slippy123 wrote:

Here is a link that explains more of where the letters came from. It seems like it was a creative release for the students to let out their feelings by writings or something of the sort.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Thank you [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]! I guess Susan was one of the very first Columbiners!

Anything to contribute! I always wish I could spend like a half hour with some Columbiners who were directly involved and just pick their brain.
If I had the chance my top 3 in no specific order would be:

1.Brooks
2 Nate D
3.Susan

Kida wrote:

Freezingmoon wrote:

This is sweet, but how does she feel about the fact that Eric was perfectly ok blowing her up on 4/20 along with everyone else? I often wonder this about Robin Anderson too..... Since she cared so much about Dylan.

Someone once told me that everything was planned at that particular lunch time because Dylan knew that Robin would not be at school at that time.

"She stated that it was her habit to go home for lunch and return to the school at approximately 11:45AM and that Eric was aware of this because she would frequently see him while walking to her car to leave for lunch."
The same thing goes for Robin. From her statement, Dylan knew that she would not be in school.

I know this is a little late......but I really don't think Eric and Dylan planned NBK around Susan's or Robyn's lunch time.  They wanted the bombs to go off when the most students were in the cafeteria. I think Susan's and Robyn's lunch plans were purely coincidental.

Did she really write that letter?

aquillina wrote:

Did she really write that letter?

I don't think there is any concrete proof she did write it.

This letter was included in a book called "Letters from Columbine" with poems, artwork, etc. from students who had survived the shooting.

WendlaBergman wrote:

This letter was included in a book called "Letters from Columbine" with poems, artwork, etc. from students who had survived the shooting.

Nice to see you Wendla!

So she did write that letter right?

aquillina wrote:

So she did write that letter right?

Safe to say that she did.

ultraviolencelv wrote:

aquillina wrote:

So she did write that letter right?

Safe to say that she did.

I don't know, for some reason I'm still not buying it.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] here's an article talking about the 500-page collection book. Susan's letter is featured.: [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

"Voices from Columbine: an anthology of artistic expression," a 500-page collection of writing and artwork, represents the creative outpouring of students and staff of Columbine High School in the days immediately following the events of last April 20.

ultraviolencelv wrote:

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] here's an article talking about the 500-page collection book. Susan's letter is featured.: [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

"Voices from Columbine: an anthology of artistic expression," a 500-page collection of writing and artwork, represents the creative outpouring of students and staff of Columbine High School in the days immediately following the events of last April 20.

I wish this book was available to buy.I would love to own it.

I guess Susan really did have some feelings for Eric. Could she have probably stopped him during the shooting? I can't help but wonder.

aquillina wrote:

I guess Susan really did have some feelings for Eric. Could she have probably stopped him during the shooting? I can't help but wonder.

I think Susan had a slight guilt trip that people have when someone they thought they could trust or like betrayed them through death, and she may have felt somehow he abandoned her, so him being gone for good made her feel she loved him more than she ever knew him. It's a psychological thing. All of the students must have been through alot and the book was a good idea to let them feel unashamed with expressing their thoughts. I mean they only had each other after Columbine.

ultraviolencelv wrote:

aquillina wrote:

I guess Susan really did have some feelings for Eric. Could she have probably stopped him during the shooting? I can't help but wonder.

I think Susan had a slight guilt trip that people have when someone they thought they could trust or like betrayed them through death, and she may have felt somehow he abandoned her, so him being gone for good made her feel she loved him more than she ever knew him. It's a psychological thing. All of the students must have been through alot and the book was a good idea to let them feel unashamed with expressing their thoughts. I mean they only had each other after Columbine.

Kind of mirrors all the fan girls who only care about Eric because he is a high status figure. I'm not saying that Susan didn't care about him before 4/20, but what he did and what he became after death probably messed with and warped her feelings a fair bit. And, as you where saying - once someone dies they can become a somewhat legendary figure, rendering it easy to forget how they were on an everyday basis, and making it easier to remember them selectively.

ultraviolencelv wrote:

aquillina wrote:

I guess Susan really did have some feelings for Eric. Could she have probably stopped him during the shooting? I can't help but wonder.

I think Susan had a slight guilt trip that people have when someone they thought they could trust or like betrayed them through death, and she may have felt somehow he abandoned her, so him being gone for good made her feel she loved him more than she ever knew him. It's a psychological thing. All of the students must have been through alot and the book was a good idea to let them feel unashamed with expressing their thoughts. I mean they only had each other after Columbine.

I like this. This makes a lot of sense.

Plus he was super sweet to her. Asking her to let her car warm up before she left, and kissing her on the cheek. So she saw this super nice gentleman side of Eric, and that's the only way she knows him. So for her to see how he is seen as a monster, is hard for her to decipher, because it's the complete opposite behavior from what she knows.

Plus, it sounded like she was positive she could've helped him or changed him. Thing about Eric is I don't really think a girl has that kind of capability to alter his mental instability unless she had met him earlier throughout his columbine years and went steady with him. You know, before he spiralled down in too deep.

Lizpuff wrote:

I do know that in the 11k it is mentioned by some teachers that the students had been given an assignment to write about the 20.  And the teacher had mentioned that some girls had written things that disturbed him because they wrote about them like they loved them/looked up to what they had done.

I have not gotten far enough to find out more info but this supports what slippy123 posted.

Sorry about the zombie thread.

Weren't those letters from Marla F (for Dylan) and Katie T (for Eric) or was that no confirmed?

She was the girl who hanged out at erics house and watched the movie with him the saturday night on the prom night before the shooting.

True,

But I think for this assignment two other girls wrote letters about Eric and Dylan that were a bit loving in nature and they were CHS students.

Screamingophelia wrote:

True,

But I think for this assignment two other girls wrote letters about Eric and Dylan that were a bit loving in nature and they were CHS students.

I wasn't replying to you, but the post, meaning Susan was the one who went to his house.

VoDKaComeHere wrote:

Screamingophelia wrote:

True,

But I think for this assignment two other girls wrote letters about Eric and Dylan that were a bit loving in nature and they were CHS students.

I wasn't replying to you, but the post, meaning Susan was the one who went to his house.

Sorry about that. Since it was such an old thread I assumed you were no worries

sorry to bump an old thread, but i would love to read that Voices from Columbine book. has a copy ever surfaced online?