Why did Adam kill his Mother?

Apologies if this has already been discussed here.
Now, I understand that Adam had a pretty... strained relationship with his family and I've read an article where Peter Lanza speculates that he shot Nancy precisely 4 times to represent the members of the family:
One for Adam himself, one for Nancy, one for Peter, one for his brother Ryan.
What do you think was his reasoning for wanting to kill his Mom/Family (that might very well just have lived because they didn't happen to live with him at the time)?
It sounds paradox considering what he did afterwards, but I just can't wrap my mind around having the desire to kill your own mother and from what I can tell she always intended the best for him, even if maybe she was misguided at times.
Surely his animosity towards her wasn't enough to kill her?
Eg. it never even occurred to either Dylan or Eric to kill their own parents, not even to "protect" them from the aftermath that they knew is to follow after you blow up your school and blow a bunch of kids' brains out (including your own).
Thoughts?

From here:
"Why might Lanza have been hostile to his mother? There
are multiple possibilities, among them that:
• She left him alone in the house for days at a time while she
went traveling (Lysiak, 2013). Perhaps this seemed selfish
to him.
• She was thinking of relocating to another state (Griffin and
Kovner, 2013), which would have uprooted him. Given that
he wouldn’t leave his house to stay in a hotel even during a
dangerous hurricane, the idea of moving to a new home in
another state may have been terrifying.
• She reportedly volunteered with students at Sandy Hook
Elementary School (Sedensky, 2013a, p. 30). He may have
resented her spending time with other children.
• Perhaps he resented her for taking him to appointments
with medical and mental health professionals; these were
often very difficult for him (Office of the Child Advocate,
2014).
• She talked him out of enlisting in the military, thwarting his
dream of becoming a marine (Lysiak, 2013).
• He viewed childrearing as a process of indoctrination and
metaphorical rape; as the primary person who raised him,
perhaps he viewed her as the most responsible for his being
“mind-fucked.”"

Matricide: the act of killing ones mother. Typically done by someone with a deep seeded hidden rage, usually committed after a betrayal, or for financial gain. The perpetrator is usually known for being "a mothers boy", or "spoiled".

In saying this, Adam was hardly typical. We can scratch off financial gain straight off (unlike Jeremy Bamber, menendez brothers etc)

Spoiled? Well, his mother catered to his every need; she was basically his full time carer, going as far as not letting builders in the house and warning them not to ring to doorbell as that would upset Adam. I understand Adam had severe OCD (in which I do not envy at all), having to change a pair or socks up to 20 times a day (his mother doing the laundry) or having her "re-do" something if he felt she did something "improper". I'd also like to bring up his fear of contamination, making his mother adapt to his traits. I also think he may have played on it too. When he went hiking with his father, Peter, Nancy was surprised to learn that Adam had tied his own shoes without assistance. Maybe they had both become accustomed to such things..?

I'd also like to mention the way in which he killed her. If it was in a fit or rage, wouldn't he want her to be awake and be conscious before she died? He did however shoot her not once, but four times while she slept. At first I thought it might have been overkill, but after reading an interview with Peter, he claims he shot her four times for each of them, one for her, one for him, one for Peter and another for his brother Ryan. I'm certain he didn't go out of his way to murder them too, just because it would be too impractical.

Personally, I believe it was done out of some sort of harbouring rage he had for her. Why? I'm not so sure. We know what he had written an essay found of his computer he named "selfish". Unfortunately it hasn't been released to the public so we don't know all the details in this. One thing that does stick out to me is Nancy's plan to move. I don't think Adam could handle such a change but that being the the sole reason in killing her, probably not, but still, a tiny part perhaps.

You mention killing her "out of love". To protect her from living in the aftermath of his mass murder. That would certainly explain why he killed her in her sleep. Although that wasn't the case for Kip Kinkel. He was obviously well researched and would know all about that aftermaths of other shootings so I'm sure it's a possibility, though I'm still not set on this idea.

The only things we know about Nancy and Adams relationship is through Nancy's emails to others. Nancy seems the doting mother. Talking to him as he cried lying on the bathroom floor and of course, going out of her way to make sure he was comfortable. To me, it seems Nancy was a perfectionist living with a mask on. What I mean is she never says anything like "I could have really lost my temper with Adam today", instead, when she lets the mask slip slightly one moment Adam is having a breakdown, as soon as Peter tries to get involved, suddenly everything is back under control... I think she didn't want to be seen as not being able to cope. Many of her friends often describe her as a perfectionist.

This brings me to another possibility. What if there was something Nancy knew about Adam that he wouldn't want the public knowing? Nancy is  one of the only people to know Adam, what he was *really* like on a day-to-day basis. If he was going to commit suicide without killing his mother, people would be interested in what he was like on such a personal level, a level that Nancy was on.

There are so many possibilities, we'll never know for sure. I'd be interested in more opinions so I'm hoping this isn't going to be an empty thread.

Maybe he wanted to increase his kill count in any way possible?

Maybe he believed she caused all the problems?

Why would he shoot his mother 4 times to represent his family surely he would of shot her 3 times.
Why woild he count himself if he was planning suicide anyways.
That would be 5

Smiggles94 wrote:

Why would he shoot his mother 4 times to represent his family surely he would of shot her 3 times.
Why woild he count himself if he was planning suicide anyways.
That would be 5

Yes, I've thought about that myself. I was just repeating and somewhat trying to make sense of what his father thinks
I personally don't think there's any significance to the number 4. He is likely just reading too much into things, as you'd expect. Trying to make sense of things that don't make sense.

As a primer for what he was about to do. Once he killed his mother it was no going back.

I think Cho did the same thing with the 2 students he killed before the massacre.

Adam killed his mother because he had a deep resentment and hatred towards her which built up over a period of many years. The reasons being many, but specifically Adam felt like he was looked down upon by his mother in a certain way of being helpless or inferior. The vibe I got from her emails was a very controlling one, sure she tried to accommodate him but I feel like there was a lot more going on behind the scenes so to speak then what is let on.

Adam did not like to be looked at for example, as he did not like to maintain eye contact, perhaps he felt intruded upon and under siege on a daily basis if he was looked at by her? I do not have anywhere near the level of social anxiety that AL had but even I still feel very uncomfortable and irritated if I am being stared at by people, especially if those are people that dislike me or that I dislike.

I think he resented her for many reasons. To me, it seems that she worsened his problems by enabling unhealthy behaviours or downright ignoring his evident symptoms. I saw a thread of emails (I can't remember where) between Adam and Nancy, and it struck me as really strange that their sole form of communication was via email despite living under the same roof.

She coddled him a lot without truly helping him in any way. I know that Nancy had many of her own health problems to focus on but she spoke about her son's problems enough to friends and relatives (over email) but never seemed to encourage him to help himself.

nbkdoom wrote:

I think he resented her for many reasons. To me, it seems that she worsened his problems by enabling unhealthy behaviours or downright ignoring his evident symptoms. I saw a thread of emails (I can't remember where) between Adam and Nancy, and it struck me as really strange that their sole form of communication was via email despite living under the same roof.

She coddled him a lot without truly helping him in any way. I know that Nancy had many of her own health problems to focus on but she spoke about her son's problems enough to friends and relatives (over email) but never seemed to encourage him to help himself.

This is a good documentary about Nancy: [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] Lanza had a teacher who included him in extracurricular activities and helped him integrate, but when that teacher got a better job and left Lanza's school, Nancy took Adam out of school too.

There is an interview with the teacher in this documentary, it's interesting. Nancy refused outside help many times, it seems like she was in denial about the severity of Adam's problems or she had very low trust in experts who tried to help Adam. Maybe she thought that he's beyond help and accepted him the way he was, gave up on trying to improve his social skills. In any case, she made a lot of wrong choices and enabled his increasing isolation.

Adam resented her, but I think that her murder was a "mercy kill", he didn't want her to have to face the consequences of his wrong doings.

Tara wrote:

Adam resented her, but I think that her murder was a "mercy kill", he didn't want her to have to face the consequences of his wrong doings.

If he hated her and saw killing her as a mercy then logically wouldn't he have just let her live?

QuestionMark wrote:

Tara wrote:

Adam resented her, but I think that her murder was a "mercy kill", he didn't want her to have to face the consequences of his wrong doings.

If he hated her and saw killing her as a mercy then logically wouldn't he have just let her live?

Resentment doesn't equal hate. You can resent people and still care for them and have mercy for them. One other possible reason for killing her is that he couldn't bear the thought of his mother knowing who he really was and what he was capable of.

Tara wrote:

Nancy refused outside help many times, it seems like she was in denial about the severity of Adam's problems or she had very low trust in experts who tried to help Adam. Maybe she thought that he's beyond help and accepted him the way he was, gave up on trying to improve his social skills. In any case, she made a lot of wrong choices and enabled his increasing isolation.

It seems more likely that her protective nature led her to mistrust others in regards to Adam. Nancy doesn't strike me as the kind of mother who would "give up" on her child.

Tara wrote:

In any case, she made a lot of wrong choices and enabled his increasing isolation.

The sad thing is that this was done with the approval of a doctor. The community psychiatrist that he was seeing wrote a note excusing him from attending school indefinitely because of his intense anxiety and the distress it was causing. The panel that studied the case afterward wrote in their report that his recommendation was "completely inappropriate and non-therapeutic for Adam Lanza." It's true that Nancy had the choice of which professionals to listen to but if he had not offered to write a note like this, then Nancy may have been forced to send Adam to long-term inpatient treatment at a hospital which would treat his emotional problems while also providing educational services. The ER doctor that Adam saw only a few weeks before this gave that recommendation and offered to start the process for her but Nancy declined and took Adam home instead. In fact, this community psychiatrist stated that there was "no appropriate placement" and this was clearly untrue given what the ER doctor had recommended to Nancy just before this letter was penned. The other professionals that Adam saw later on were very concerned about the possibility of increasing his isolation by creating a prosthetic environment and the toll this would eventually take on both Adam and Nancy so they probably would not have approved a move to excuse Adam from school attendance.

It's a shame that this community psychiatrist was the doctor that Nancy chose to trust over all others but surely, this is because he agreed with her own evaluation of the situation. Nancy did make the choice on her own but she must have believed that she was moving ahead with the approval of a qualified professional when she chose to pursue this alternate course of treatment and it seems that she was wrong. Without his note excusing Adam from schooling, things may have turned out differently but then again, Nancy may have been able to find a way to keep Adam at home anyway, resulting in Nancy declining all treatment for Adam, tutoring him at home and causing deeper isolation at an earlier age with no oversight at all. As Peter Lanza said in terms of doing things differently, however, it's hard to imagine any situation where it could have turned out worse than it did in reality "because no outcome could be worse."

The important question is why this community psychiatrist would have felt that these recommendations were appropriate but unfortunately, he claimed to have disposed of his records pertaining to Adam before the panel was able to review them. This was the same psychiatrist who eventually surrendered his license after multiple allegations of sexual relationships and behaviors with patients. Nancy made plenty of questionable choices over the years but in this case, I don't think that it was her solely her fault for removing Adam from school because she did depend on a professional who supported that recommendation.

I suppose that I should clarify, my earlier statement in regards to how Adam felt about Nancy. He did not merely just resent her, he also despised her. Of course some people may ask how this could be given how in one of the emails that Adam had sent to his mother about offering to give her some of his money to help her if she needed it. I find it likely that Adam was "playing along" and faking caring for his mom so that he could hide his true feelings after all, if he just straight up told his mom "I hate you so much that I want you dead." I don't think that would have went over well lol, probably would have got him institutionalized.

Despite Adam's extreme social anxiety and other mental issues, he was a VERY intelligent person and every action he did especially in the final months was done with specific purpose and in depth planning in mind. If Nancy had suspected that Adam had any level of intent to harm her after all she would have locked her bedroom door. However, evidence says she never did so showing just how unaware she really was about how Adam had been feeling inside his mind after so many years of agonizing alienation with how he could not relate to post hunter gatherer culture let alone post industrial life.

On a closing note, just look at how much he grew to hate his dad! After being told by his dad that he could not handle too many college courses at once at Western Connecticut University, Adam stopped communicating with his dad completely for the roughly 2 years remaining in his life. Most people are not psychologically able to do that, Adam's anger and hatred towards society was immense but it was even more concentrated towards his family for them bringing him into a world where he felt he had no chance of survival.

Lmao @ all these word walls
I'll give you the real reason:
He killed his mum like he smashed his hard drive, he had something to hide and didn't want anyone left alive to tell people about him
Imagine all the creepy shit you'd hear about him from his mother if she was still alive brehs

BehindZeroProxies wrote:

Lmao @ all these word walls
I'll give you the real reason:
He killed his mum like he smashed his hard drive, he had something to hide and didn't want anyone left alive to tell people about him
Imagine all the creepy shit you'd hear about him from his mother if she was still alive brehs

Well we already have a large well of creepy shit we've heard about him. The only thing that would make him creepier is if he had CP on his computer.

I will concede that you might still be right though since Adam was deeply disturbed and not thinking like a normal person.

Sure he was. He was obsessed with idea of killing especially mass murder. People with Asperger's syndrome usually have limited empathy, problems with communication and narrow, intense interests.
To understand motivation of mentally unhealthy person quite difficult.
He killed his mom because he wanted to kill everyone who was connected with Sandy Hook, also himself.

BehindZeroProxies wrote:

Lmao @ all these word walls
I'll give you the real reason:
He killed his mum like he smashed his hard drive, he had something to hide and didn't want anyone left alive to tell people about him
Imagine all the creepy shit you'd hear about him from his mother if she was still alive brehs

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] posts something that isn't a shitpost? Wasn't this foretold in The Book of Revelations?!!