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 Line/Passage Interpretation

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Screamingophelia
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PostSubject: Line/Passage Interpretation    Line/Passage Interpretation  Icon_minitimeSat Jan 20, 2018 12:15 pm

This was a journal entry from Dylan, it was written in February 2, 1998 just days after the January incident.

I don't think this girl is real. I also see the first inklings of contempt for his parents. Maybe he wrote about that before, but I haven't seen it.

Below his gods line, it looks like he listed several people.


I find this passage interesting, I also assume that around this time if Dylan truly had someone who loved him and was debating on doing NBK with him we would have heard something about it. It shows also some of his violent and superior tendencies. It's not melancholy like others.

At the end I assume he is talking about Eric, but Eric is usually not redacted.

Existence... to understand )

Well well...so much changes... (like ..existence). I understand almost everything now... so close to my love - [edited]. The runes have shown it, she has shown it, i have felt it. I know the meaning of each life: To be loved by yer love, & to be happy with ones self. Only for the gods though (me, [edited] & etc.) The zombies & their society band together & try to destroy what is superior & what they don't understand & are afraid of. Soon... either ill commit suicide, or I'll get w. [edited] & it will be NBK for us. My hapiness. her hapiness. NOTHING else matters. Ive been caught w. most of my crimes -- xpl drinking, smoking, & the house vandalism & the pipe bombs. If by fate's choice, [edited] didn't love me, id slit my wrist & blow up atlanta strapped to my neck. It's good, understanding. a hard road since my realization, but it gets easier. BUT IT DOESNT! That's part of existence. Unpredictable. Existence is pure hell & pure heaven at the same time. I will never stop wondering, the lost highway will never end, the music in my head will never stop...It's all part of existence. The hall will never end. The love will always be here. GOD
I LOVE HER!!! It's so great to love.


society is tightening it's grip on me, & soon I & [edited] will snap, he will have on revenge on society, & then be free, to exist in a timeless sourceless place of pure hapiness. The purpose of life is to be happy & be with yer love who is equally happy. Not much more to say. goodbye.



I love
her, & she loves
me. Almost happiness in
slavery -- the real people (gods)
are slaves to the majority
of zombies, but we know
& love being superior.

I didnt want to
be a jock... i hated
The hapiness
that they
have - & I will
have something
infinitely
better...


(By the way, some zombies are smarter than others,
some manipulate... like my parents.)
I am God. [edited] is God.
& zombies will pay for
their arrogance, hate, fear, abandonment, &
distrust.
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PostSubject: Re: Line/Passage Interpretation    Line/Passage Interpretation  Icon_minitimeMon Jan 22, 2018 8:48 am

I am a firm believer that the girl Dylan mostly writes about is imaginary. He may have had minor crushes on the girls he listed. BUT the "Halcyon" girl was his only true love, although she probably didn't exist outside his twisted head in my opinion.

I also agree that Dylan did seem to have some issues with his parents. He seemed to feel like they were trying to force him to be a zombie too.  I mean he walked out the door that morning with just a cold "Bye" to the woman who gave him life.

He knew he would likely never see her again and he couldn't even muster up a "Bye Mom, love you" Question Then his somewhat cold goodbye to them in the basement tapes transcripts comes to mind.  Yes there was definitely some issues but I believe Sue and Tom were unaware of them. Sad
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Lizpuff

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PostSubject: Re: Line/Passage Interpretation    Line/Passage Interpretation  Icon_minitimeMon Jan 22, 2018 11:01 am

Unless Jeffco made a mistake (which let's face it is very possible) that redacted name that was about to snap was not Eric.

I have speculations on who it may be but for the most part I think Dylan read too much into how his friends acted. People like Chris Morris talked about taking revenge on people but he never actually did it.

Add to that the way Dylan talked about his "love". His love changed every single week. I think again Dylan read a bit too much into it. I don't think he actually knew love in the kind of sense he thought he did.

I have always wondered about his family and home life. Seeing how they treated Byron for pot I wonder if Sue and Tom clung on to Dylan being that golden boy. The good child. I wonder if Dylan felt he had so much to hold up and started to crack. I don't see Sue as being the most lovey dovey type of mom- not that I mean that in a bad way, I see her more of the kind of mom that if the child scrapes a knee you just get up and keep moving not sit down and kiss boo boos.

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PostSubject: Re: Line/Passage Interpretation    Line/Passage Interpretation  Icon_minitimeMon Jan 22, 2018 11:47 am

I think it is true as Dylan said that he was raised to be independent and that it was a good thing. In the mix with his psychological problems it became a bad thing but I would not blame the parenting for that.

Could the redacted one be Nate? "Ready the torpedos mister"
and then Nate adapted more while Dylan got more alienated?

I agree the girl could be just his imagination and in that case the redacted name in "Soon I & [redacted] will snap" could be him and her with her being a part of him.

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Screamingophelia
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PostSubject: Re: Line/Passage Interpretation    Line/Passage Interpretation  Icon_minitimeMon Jan 22, 2018 12:17 pm

ShadowedGoddess wrote:
I am a firm believer that the girl Dylan mostly writes about is imaginary. He may have had minor crushes on the girls he listed. BUT the "Halcyon" girl was his only true love, although she probably didn't exist outside his twisted head in my opinion.

I also agree that Dylan did seem to have some issues with his parents. He seemed to feel like they were trying to force him to be a zombie too.  I mean he walked out the door that morning with just a cold "Bye" to the woman who gave him life.

He knew he would likely never see her again and he couldn't even muster up a "Bye Mom, love you" Question Then his somewhat cold goodbye to them in the basement tapes transcripts comes to mind.  Yes there was definitely some issues but I believe Sue and Tom were unaware of them. Sad

I think he was able to hide things very well. I wonder how Dylan would feel about Sue's book. I think an interviewer asked her and Sue said that she never thought about it because he was with her while writing.. paraphrasing of course.
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PostSubject: Re: Line/Passage Interpretation    Line/Passage Interpretation  Icon_minitimeMon Jan 22, 2018 12:40 pm

Lizpuff wrote:
Unless Jeffco made a mistake (which let's face it is very possible) that redacted name that was about to snap was not Eric.  

I have speculations on who it may be but for the most part I think Dylan read too much into how his friends acted.  People like Chris Morris talked about taking revenge on people but he never actually did it.  

Add to that the way Dylan talked about his "love".  His love changed every single week. I think again Dylan read a bit too much into it.  I don't think he actually knew love in the kind of sense he thought he did.

I have always wondered about his family and home life.  Seeing how they treated Byron for pot I wonder if Sue and Tom clung on to Dylan being that golden boy.  The good child.  I wonder if Dylan felt he had so much to hold up and started to crack.  I don't see Sue as being the most lovey dovey type of mom- not that I mean that in a bad way, I see her more of the kind of mom that if the child scrapes a knee you just get up and keep moving not sit down and kiss boo boos.  

It could very well have been Nate or Chris especially. He could have taken anything his friends said in passing as gospel and that they hated the world as much as him. They had the typical teenage angst, Dylan didn't.

Sue seemed like a pretty typical mom back then. Very much "brush it off, don't let it get to you, you're awesome.

Even her reaction to Dylan's "don't push me, I'm getting angry and I don't think I can control it" was to back off. I am sure she regrets that.
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Screamingophelia
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PostSubject: Re: Line/Passage Interpretation    Line/Passage Interpretation  Icon_minitimeMon Jan 22, 2018 12:56 pm

munchkinphone wrote:
I think it is true as Dylan said that he was raised to be independent and that it was a good thing. In the mix with his psychological problems it became a bad thing but I would not blame the parenting for that.

Could the redacted one be Nate? "Ready the torpedos mister"
and then Nate adapted more while Dylan got more alienated?

I agree the girl could be just his imagination and in that case the redacted name in "Soon I & [redacted] will snap" could be him and her with her being a part of him.


That could be it, yes.

It's interesting and I know it has been brought up before. Dylan has this fantasy Halcyon girl that he wants to reunite with and some people are just like "aww, poor thing"

I do wonder if any of the real girls he wrote about were notified. I read somewhere that Marla Faust did talk to the FBI about it... but that hasn't been verified as being true.

Randy Stair does the same thing in a sense and he is weak and pathetic.
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Littlelo

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PostSubject: Re: Line/Passage Interpretation    Line/Passage Interpretation  Icon_minitimeMon Jan 22, 2018 2:12 pm

I think some of the girls he wrote about were notified but may not have been told explicitly what was written about them.

Some of them must have had an idea.
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Screamingophelia
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PostSubject: Re: Line/Passage Interpretation    Line/Passage Interpretation  Icon_minitimeMon Jan 22, 2018 2:32 pm

Littlelo wrote:
I think some of the girls he wrote about were notified but may not have been told explicitly what was written about them.

Some of them must have had an idea.

I’d still love to know the contents of the long letter on Dylan’s cross.
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Littlelo

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PostSubject: Re: Line/Passage Interpretation    Line/Passage Interpretation  Icon_minitimeMon Jan 22, 2018 2:33 pm

Screamingophelia wrote:
Littlelo wrote:
I think some of the girls he wrote about were notified but may not have been told explicitly what was written about them.

Some of them must have had an idea.

I’d still love to know the contents of the long letter on Dylan’s cross.

Me too!
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PostSubject: Re: Line/Passage Interpretation    Line/Passage Interpretation  Icon_minitimeMon Jan 22, 2018 3:12 pm

I would have loved to have been able to see what was written on both E&D's.
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Littlelo

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PostSubject: Re: Line/Passage Interpretation    Line/Passage Interpretation  Icon_minitimeMon Jan 22, 2018 3:14 pm

Most of the pictures we have aren't really clear enough to read but I always try to find things I may have missed before when I come across them.
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PostSubject: Re: Line/Passage Interpretation    Line/Passage Interpretation  Icon_minitimeMon Jan 22, 2018 3:16 pm

When I went to look for pictures on Dylan and Erics crosses here on the forum it seemed as if Dylans had lots of text on it and Erics had very little. Where the pictures taken at the same time? I got a bit confused about that.
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Littlelo

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PostSubject: Re: Line/Passage Interpretation    Line/Passage Interpretation  Icon_minitimeMon Jan 22, 2018 3:17 pm

munchkinphone wrote:
When I went to look for pictures on Dylan and Erics crosses here on the forum it seemed as if Dylans had lots of text on it and Erics had very little. Where the pictures taken at the same time? I got a bit confused about that.

Any pictures of the crosses couldn't be too far apart in time. They were not up long before some of the victims parents removed them from the hill.
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Screamingophelia
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PostSubject: Re: Line/Passage Interpretation    Line/Passage Interpretation  Icon_minitimeMon Jan 22, 2018 3:22 pm

Littlelo wrote:
Most of the pictures we have aren't really clear enough to read but I always try to find things I may have missed before when I come across them.

As do I. I do know on Eric's it says "you died a year ago and no one noticed" I would LOVE to know who wrote that.

the "Shame on you Dylan" always struck me as someone who knew him. I'm not sure why.

I do wonder if/what Robyn, Zach, Devon, Nate and Chris etc.. wrote.

I had no problem with them having crosses. I agree they should be nowhere near the permanent memorial. However I don't think anyone should have taken them down or destroyed them. I can understand why the parents were mad but it also helped their classmates get out their thoughts towards E and D too.

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Last edited by Screamingophelia on Mon Jan 22, 2018 3:25 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Littlelo

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PostSubject: Re: Line/Passage Interpretation    Line/Passage Interpretation  Icon_minitimeMon Jan 22, 2018 3:24 pm

Screamingophelia wrote:
Littlelo wrote:
Most of the pictures we have aren't really clear enough to read but I always try to find things I may have missed before when I come across them.

As do I. I do know on Eric's it says "you died a year ago and no one noticed" I would LOVE to know who wrote that.

the "Shame on you Dylan" always struck me as someone who knew him. I'm not sure why.

That first quote gives me chills
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PostSubject: Re: Line/Passage Interpretation    Line/Passage Interpretation  Icon_minitimeMon Jan 22, 2018 3:31 pm

Screamingophelia wrote:
Littlelo wrote:
Most of the pictures we have aren't really clear enough to read but I always try to find things I may have missed before when I come across them.

As do I. I do know on Eric's it says "you died a year ago and no one noticed" I would LOVE to know who wrote that.

This one is one that has plagued me for a long while. If on Dylan's cross I would have a few guesses. But Eric? His is harder to guess

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PostSubject: Re: Line/Passage Interpretation    Line/Passage Interpretation  Icon_minitimeMon Jan 22, 2018 3:33 pm

Lizpuff wrote:
Screamingophelia wrote:
Littlelo wrote:
Most of the pictures we have aren't really clear enough to read but I always try to find things I may have missed before when I come across them.

As do I. I do know on Eric's it says "you died a year ago and no one noticed" I would LOVE to know who wrote that.

This one is one that has plagued me for a long while.  If on Dylan's cross I would have a few guesses.  But Eric?  His is harder to guess

Dylan's would make more sense to me absolutely.

Maybe Erik V? Or Kristi?
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PostSubject: Re: Line/Passage Interpretation    Line/Passage Interpretation  Icon_minitimeMon Jan 22, 2018 3:45 pm

Screamingophelia wrote:
Lizpuff wrote:
Screamingophelia wrote:
Littlelo wrote:
Most of the pictures we have aren't really clear enough to read but I always try to find things I may have missed before when I come across them.

As do I. I do know on Eric's it says "you died a year ago and no one noticed" I would LOVE to know who wrote that.

This one is one that has plagued me for a long while.  If on Dylan's cross I would have a few guesses.  But Eric?  His is harder to guess

Dylan's would make more sense to me absolutely.

Maybe Erik V? Or Kristi?

I am not sure. But I feel for that person. They must have seen the way Eric changed his clothing and music choices...how his language changed and he became darker. A lot of kids go thru that sort of thing and they snap out of it eventually.

IDK just a sad quote all around

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Screamingophelia
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PostSubject: Re: Line/Passage Interpretation    Line/Passage Interpretation  Icon_minitimeMon Jan 22, 2018 3:52 pm

Lizpuff wrote:
Screamingophelia wrote:
Lizpuff wrote:
Screamingophelia wrote:
Littlelo wrote:
Most of the pictures we have aren't really clear enough to read but I always try to find things I may have missed before when I come across them.

As do I. I do know on Eric's it says "you died a year ago and no one noticed" I would LOVE to know who wrote that.

This one is one that has plagued me for a long while.  If on Dylan's cross I would have a few guesses.  But Eric?  His is harder to guess

Dylan's would make more sense to me absolutely.

Maybe Erik V? Or Kristi?

I am not sure.  But I feel for that person.  They must have seen the way Eric changed his clothing and music choices...how his language changed and he became darker.  A lot of kids go thru that sort of thing and they snap out of it eventually.  

IDK just a sad quote all around

It really is, because they noticed but probably didn't say anything. Or maybe they tried and Eric brushed it off.

I think Eric started picking up on more of the alternative dress from Dylan, then I think he discovered KMFDM and Rammstein and started to steer away from the preppiness at CHS but then they took such a dark turn towards the end. They both shut people out. I think it was Devon who at least said about Dylan, and I think the same thing was said about Eric, if they wanted you to know something you knew but if they didn't you were in the dark. Probably another reason Dylan was such a good listener. He didn't have to talk, so no one could know what was going on with him.
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PostSubject: Re: Line/Passage Interpretation    Line/Passage Interpretation  Icon_minitimeMon Jan 22, 2018 5:57 pm

[quote="Screamingophelia"][quote="Lizpuff"][quote="Screamingophelia"][quote="Lizpuff"]
Screamingophelia wrote:
Littlelo wrote:
Most of the pictures we have aren't really clear enough to read but I always try to find things I may have missed before when I come across them.



I think Eric started picking up on more of the alternative dress from Dylan, then I think he discovered KMFDM and Rammstein and started to steer away from the preppiness at CHS but then they took such a dark turn towards the end. They both shut people out. I think it was Devon who at least said about Dylan, and I think the same thing was said about Eric, if they wanted you to know something you knew but if they didn't you were in the dark. Probably another reason Dylan was such a good listener. He didn't have to talk, so no one could know what was going on with him.

I totally agree with this, I think Eric is always blamed for having an effect on Dylan but I think they both fed from one another. It's evident from Dylan's writings that it was he that was floating the idea of NBK out there. He probably thought that Nate or another of his friends would seriously join him but of course they didn't. Eric, however, was quite easy to manipulate and tap into his ample amounts of rage and injustice.
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