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 Mass shooters talking about their pain:

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emanresu
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PostSubject: Mass shooters talking about their pain:   Mass shooters talking about their pain: Icon_minitimeFri May 21, 2021 9:46 am

Add your own mass shooter pain quotes


Seung hui Cho
"This thing, my life, all an agony, of Hell of torture...and years of bluedgoning torment tiny nuisances. The disgust eyes, dirty frowns and red fingers pointing at me. Feeling all the patheticness and humiliation [..] Good Christ! Rip me apart, tear me to shrivels, eat me to help me see a better day's worth and salvage this decaying thing from myself."

Nikolas Cruz
"My life is a mess idk what to do anymore. Everyday I get even more agitated at everyone cause my life is unfair. Everything and everyone is happy except for me I want to kill people but I don't know how I can do it. Walk to a park, get someone to pick me up I just don't know anymore but it will happen soon."

Elliot Rodger
"All is quiet, but the horrible emotions roiling inside me clash and erupt like a great storm. Like a storm damages land and forest, the story of fury racks me with pain. And yet, and yet... with the power of my superior mind I quell the storm with dexterous focus. The storm of fury eases and is banished back down to the core of my heart. The storm is gone, but the scar remains, as they always do."

Dylan Klebold
"Oooh god I want to die sooo bad ... such a sad desolate lonely unsalvageable I feel I am ... not fair, NOT FAIR!!! I wanted happiness!! I never got it."

Eric Harris
"That’s where a lot of my hate grows from. The fact that I have practically no self-esteem, especially concerning girls and looks and such. Therefore people make fun of me ... constantly ... therefore I get no respect and therefore I get fucking PISSED."

Kip Kinkel
It feels like my heart is breaking. But is that possible. I am so consumed with hate all of the time. Could I ever love anyone? I have feelings, but do I have a heart that’s not black and full of animosity?”

Ilnaz Galyaviev
“I was born God, fuck. I just realized it... it took me a while to realize, fuck. I had realized it about two months ago, fuck. And this summer a monster begun to wake up in me, fuck. I fucking started to fucking hate everyone deeply, fuck, I'd always hated everyone, fuck, but I began fucking hate even more, fuck” (thanks to reddit user stiglitzshch translating)

Jeff Weise
”There isn’t an open sky or endless field to be found where I reside, not is there light or salvation to be discovered. Right about now I feel as low as I ever have. So fucking naive man, so fucking naive. Always expecting change when I know nothing ever changes… I sacrifice no more for others, part of me has fucking died and I hate this shit. I’m living every mans nightmare and that single fact alone is kicking my ass.”

Robert Hawkins
"but most of the time it [suicide] seems like this is the only way to make all these stupid fuckin problems go away [...] I've just snapped I can't take this meaningless existence anymore I've been a constant disappointment and that trend would have only continued. just remember the good times we had together."

_________________
“You guys are doing a fucking phenomenal job by the way, beers are on me later.”

- A deputy officer to his fellow comrades as they are about to ambush Stephen Paddock’s hotel room, 1 October 2017.

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shockingdoom

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PostSubject: Re: Mass shooters talking about their pain:   Mass shooters talking about their pain: Icon_minitimeFri May 21, 2021 4:01 pm

Adam Lanza:

"I hate how life-apologists say… ‘Life isn’t all suffering. What about the simple pleasures, like eating ice cream?’"
"I spent all day ruminating over how much I hate culture. Now I’ve calmed down and am left lying on the floor, numbly perplexed over the foreign concept of loving life."

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PostSubject: Re: Mass shooters talking about their pain:   Mass shooters talking about their pain: Icon_minitimeFri May 21, 2021 5:01 pm

Tanvir Towhid (familicide):
“I’ve had depression since 9th grade (2016). Not the ‘damn, I failed my test’ depression everyone says they have, more like a ‘I only cut myself twice today, that’s better than usual’."
“I only cried, laughed, and talked to myself while punching a wall for hours”
“The dude is a fucking genius but is too depressed and socially anxious to do anything with it”-about his brother

Mark Barton:
"I have been dying since October. I wake up at night so afraid, so terrified that I couldn't be that afraid while awake. It has taken its toll. I have come to hate this life and this system of things. I have come to have no hope."

Vladislav Roslyakov:
"I know I’m not unique. There are thousands like me. If people are so unique why we call them the same names. Masha, Petya, Kolya. Walking along the street see man you know. Call him. No, it’s not him. People all the same. "
"I hate get up every morning and then fall asleep know that tomorrow will be the same"
"You look for sacred meaning in things, and then realize there's fucking nothing"
"I think it's possible to become a nihilist. It's like you were a billionaire and then became a bum"
"And parents, fuck, if you had known how much I hated everything. They planned your life, they didn't even ask for your opinion, made your decision for you. Good that I will made an excellent prom and this shit will be over."
"Only the dead are independent. The heads of most people are full of shit."


_________________
"So-called civilized, well-brought up people will eat their own fellow kin, often their own friends, without being able to say why.
Their subconscious will cause them to do so."
-Oscar Kiss Maerth
"Said he was a wolf, only the difference
Was, a wolf’s skin was hairy on the outside,
His on the inside;"
- John Webster

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lognifiiskurk
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PostSubject: Re: Mass shooters talking about their pain:   Mass shooters talking about their pain: Icon_minitimeFri May 21, 2021 7:24 pm

Eric Harris - "I hate you people for leaving me out of so many fun things"

_________________
“I don't wanna kill anybody. But if I gotta get out that door, and you're standing in my way, one way or the other, you're gettin' outta my way.” - Mr Pink

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PostSubject: Re: Mass shooters talking about their pain:   Mass shooters talking about their pain: Icon_minitimeFri May 21, 2021 9:34 pm

Incoming wall of text.
Luke Woodham: "I suffered all my life. No one ever truly loved me. No one ever truly cared about me. I only loved one thing in my whole life and that was Christina Menefee. But she was torn away from me. I tried to save myself with [student’s name], but she never cared for me. As it turns out, she made fun of me behind my back while we were together. And all throughout my life I was ridiculed. Always beaten, always hated. [...] I am malicious because I am miserable."

"It was not a cry for attention, it was not a cry for help. It was a scream in sheer agony [...]"

On an unrelated note, Cho's quote there is something else. His English major shows.

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PostSubject: Re: Mass shooters talking about their pain:   Mass shooters talking about their pain: Icon_minitimeFri May 21, 2021 10:51 pm

Some Adam Lanza ones

fuckcomments in reply to YoutubeUser23: Well when I see him I will punch god in the face and tell him what a piece of shit he is before he sends me to hell for all eternity."

Nancy Lanza to Peter Lanza
“He is on the verge of tears over not having his journal entries ready to pass in. He said he tried to concentrate and couldn’t and has been wondering why he is ‘such a loser’ and if there is anything he can do about it.”
“He went straight to his room and won’t eat. I gave him time alone to compose and have tried to speak to him twice now, but he just keeps saying, ‘It does not matter’ and ‘leave me’ ‘I don’t want to speak of it.’ ” Two months later, Nancy recorded his despair when faced with some coursework in German: “He finally and tearfully said that he can’t complete the German. He can’t understand it. He has spent hours on the worksheets and can’t comprehend them.”
In early 2010, when Nancy told Peter that Adam had been crying hysterically on the bathroom floor.
“Even ten minutes before we should leave he was getting ready to go, but then had a meltdown and began to cry and couldn’t go. He said things like it’s pointless, and he doesn’t even know what he doesn’t know.”
“I just spent 2 hours sitting outside his door, talking to him about why he is so upset. He failed every single test during that class, yet he thought he knew the material.” Later that day, she wrote, “I have the feeling when he said he would rather be homeless than to take any more tests, he really meant it.” Nancy said that Adam had been pretending to go to classes and passing his time in the library.

"me" document
You could actually type coherently. Relationships cannot exist if communication is not present, which would immediately preclude me from being able to have a relationship with 99% of the humans there. I don't believe it's a coincidence that the only other person I liked at all was Soresu, who usually types coherently. If I had spoken to him more often, I might have loved him. Once every month or so in that game, I would meet someone who would type properly, and I would always try to play with them. I remember one person in particular whom I followed around only because he typed properly, which allowed me to communicate with him without feeling as if I was dealing with a severely mentally handicapped duck. He spoke disrespectfully of his girlfriend the first day I spoke to him, which would normally serve as the catalyst for my detestment of such a person, yet I completely overlooked it because I was so relieved to be able to speak with someone who was in any way capable of communicating.
I incessantly have nothing other than scorn for humanity. I have been desperate to feel anything positive for someone for my entire life.
I'm capable of boundless affection. I had never been in a sitation to feel that way before, so I thought that it was special. I took my focus away from myself and directed it toward you. Because I used to be hate-filled and couldn't just dismiss people I didn't like. It tore me apart, and I needed someone who didn't.

The Sheltered Storm
In one exchange, late at night, the user behind “Smiggles” tells another user that he often finds himself listening to the same songs, over and over:
Smiggles: I don’t know if listening to it is cathartic for my mind or if it just exacerbates my relentless thoughts... I get preoccupied with the simplest things and I obsess over them every conscious moment until something else gets my immediate attention, at which point the first one gets relegated to some mental cesspool where everything just keeps accumulating. It gets irritating. I’m going to be awake for a while thinking about something even though I’m exhausted, and tomorrow probably isn’t going to be better.


_________________
His mother continued to inquire what he planned on doing with the shotgun and he replied,
"THIS IS NOT THE LIFE I WANT TO LIVE I'LL END IT MY WAY."
"I AM GOING TO POINT THIS UNLOADED GUN AT THE POLICE AND THEY WILL SHOOT ME."

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PostSubject: Re: Mass shooters talking about their pain:   Mass shooters talking about their pain: Icon_minitimeSat May 22, 2021 4:17 am

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:
fuckcomments in reply to YoutubeUser23: Well when I see him I will punch god in the face and tell him what a piece of shit he is before he sends me to hell for all eternity."
My favourite line of all times LMAO.

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PostSubject: Re: Mass shooters talking about their pain:   Mass shooters talking about their pain: Icon_minitimeWed May 26, 2021 11:36 pm

Federico Guevara:
''It's a popular saying because it's true, every morning I wake up, look in the mirror, hate myself and contemplate just downing my bottle of pills, it's a ***** to fight depression but, still I'm trying my ****ing damndest, I don't want to disappoint my family and the few friends I have..It's a hard long battle, depression is a ****ing monster that tries to eat you alive and beat your ass down, I've been fighting it for 5 years, it literally started with some small bull**** thing, and then it developed into my final boss. Every day I wake up and hope that I can beat it, that's why I haven't ended my life yet, I realize it is a permanent solution to a temporary problem, but that's just my view and story on it.''

''I'm epileptic, I enjoy playing tanky/engage type champions, I fight with depression on a daily basis, not sure why I'm saying this on here but, every day I look at my medication and contemplate downing all the pills.''

He also cited depression in a YouTube comment.

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PostSubject: Re: Mass shooters talking about their pain:   Mass shooters talking about their pain: Icon_minitimeThu May 27, 2021 9:37 am

From Mutsuo Toi's suicide note (via google translate, so I can't attest to it's accuracy):
"I did something so miserable when I thought I would die comfortably, I'm really sorry, tears, tears. I'm sorry for tears, I'm sorry for my sister, I'm sorry, please forgive me, [...] I cried for the oppression, I cried a little for my relatives, but my relatives were a little love. [...] The dawn is approaching, let's die."
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PostSubject: Re: Mass shooters talking about their pain:   Mass shooters talking about their pain: Icon_minitimeThu May 27, 2021 12:44 pm

Pierre Lebrun:
"I am tired, exhausted and completely backed against the wall."
"I am being followed, spied upon, humiliated from Vancouver, Kamloops, Kelowna and even Las Vegas -- yes, I went to Vegas. They will never leave me alone. I can't go on living like this. They have destroyed my life."
"I know that everyone will say that I'm crazy, but to the contrary I'm very intelligent, too intelligent."

Alex Hribal:
"But am I honestly going to tell you I am a victim? I am no more a victim than you, the person reading this. In this cruel world full of misery and selfishness, we are all victims of something, even if we are all selfish. Leaving behind everything good about my life and trading it for heaven. That's enough bullshitting for now though, I don't need pity."
" I do this because the world is bitter and painful. People often celebrate the good things in life, but that's only a lie. All good things must end, so why celebrate? So life can be more enjoyable. But You [sic] don't have to live. You don't have to endure this harsh and evil world. A world where most people can only find happiness or enjoyment in doing drugs, drinking alcohol, and making you fellow man suffer (not that that's bad, it's just when you preach that humans should be nice to each other, then are only concerned about yourself, makes you an exhibit of hypocrisy.)"

Jacob Tyler Roberts:
"My mom is not in my life anymore. I do not consider her to be my mom and I do not consider myself to be her son. My timeline ends here, about a few days ago. I got a phone call form my mom, and I haven't talked to her in at least a year. And she calls me up out of the blue asking me if I would like to come over and drink with her. I told her that I do not drink and I didn't know why she was either. She tells me that the next step is suicide. I guess that will make you come over here wont it Jake, she says. What do you say to that? What do you say to your mother telling you that she is going to kill herself and is giving you the destination of where her body can be found. And how I better start thinking of what to do her things because she isn't going to need it where she is going. What do you say to that. Why would she put that much pressure on me when we haven't spoken in so long? I s it my fault she is doing this? I cant have the conscience of her death om my shoulders. I was doing good. Since I haven't talked to her I have started college, I wasn't even thinking about coming college. She never put that in my head. And I'm rising up, coming out of my shell, starting my life as you could say. And she is going to tell me this. How do I react. What do I do?"
"I would express my anger towards classmates and authorities figures growing up for a tool to frighten people. I never wanted anyone to fell sympathy for me in elementary school, I wanted them to fear me because I felt rejected and could not express that."

_________________
"So-called civilized, well-brought up people will eat their own fellow kin, often their own friends, without being able to say why.
Their subconscious will cause them to do so."
-Oscar Kiss Maerth
"Said he was a wolf, only the difference
Was, a wolf’s skin was hairy on the outside,
His on the inside;"
- John Webster

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PostSubject: Re: Mass shooters talking about their pain:   Mass shooters talking about their pain: Icon_minitimeThu May 27, 2021 2:14 pm

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:
Jacob Tyler Roberts:
"My mom is not in my life anymore. I do not consider her to be my mom and I do not consider myself to be her son. My timeline ends here, about a few days ago. I got a phone call form my mom, and I haven't talked to her in at least a year. And she calls me up out of the blue asking me if I would like to come over and drink with her. I told her that I do not drink and I didn't know why she was either. She tells me that the next step is suicide. I guess that will make you come over here wont it Jake, she says. What do you say to that? What do you say to your mother telling you that she is going to kill herself and is giving you the destination of where her body can be found. And how I better start thinking of what to do her things because she isn't going to need it where she is going. What do you say to that. Why would she put that much pressure on me when we haven't spoken in so long? I s it my fault she is doing this? I cant have the conscience of her death om my shoulders. I was doing good. Since I haven't talked to her I have started college, I wasn't even thinking about coming college. She never put that in my head. And I'm rising up, coming out of my shell, starting my life as you could say. And she is going to tell me this. How do I react. What do I do?"
"I would express my anger towards classmates and authorities figures growing up for a tool to frighten people. I never wanted anyone to fell sympathy for me in elementary school, I wanted them to fear me because I felt rejected and could not express that."

Source? I can't seem to find much information on Roberts really anywhere.

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"My guns are the only things that haven't stabbed me in the back."
-Kip Kinkel
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PostSubject: Re: Mass shooters talking about their pain:   Mass shooters talking about their pain: Icon_minitimeThu May 27, 2021 2:42 pm

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:
Jacob Tyler Roberts:
"My mom is not in my life anymore. I do not consider her to be my mom and I do not consider myself to be her son. My timeline ends here, about a few days ago. I got a phone call form my mom, and I haven't talked to her in at least a year. And she calls me up out of the blue asking me if I would like to come over and drink with her. I told her that I do not drink and I didn't know why she was either. She tells me that the next step is suicide. I guess that will make you come over here wont it Jake, she says. What do you say to that? What do you say to your mother telling you that she is going to kill herself and is giving you the destination of where her body can be found. And how I better start thinking of what to do her things because she isn't going to need it where she is going. What do you say to that. Why would she put that much pressure on me when we haven't spoken in so long? I s it my fault she is doing this? I cant have the conscience of her death om my shoulders. I was doing good. Since I haven't talked to her I have started college, I wasn't even thinking about coming college. She never put that in my head. And I'm rising up, coming out of my shell, starting my life as you could say. And she is going to tell me this. How do I react. What do I do?"
"I would express my anger towards classmates and authorities figures growing up for a tool to frighten people. I never wanted anyone to fell sympathy for me in elementary school, I wanted them to fear me because I felt rejected and could not express that."

Source? I can't seem to find much information on Roberts really anywhere.

Part 7 of the police report, in particular page 100, which is the start of the part of the examation of his computer, being the parts I copied being from temporary autosaves copies of word files found in his computer, being the original files, most likely, deleted by him before the shooting.
Link: [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

_________________
"So-called civilized, well-brought up people will eat their own fellow kin, often their own friends, without being able to say why.
Their subconscious will cause them to do so."
-Oscar Kiss Maerth
"Said he was a wolf, only the difference
Was, a wolf’s skin was hairy on the outside,
His on the inside;"
- John Webster

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PostSubject: Re: Mass shooters talking about their pain:   Mass shooters talking about their pain: Icon_minitimeThu May 27, 2021 7:50 pm

Bastian Bosse - "Since 3rd grade, people picked on me. And I was a loser. I wanted to have friends, to have clothes with the brand name on it in big letters, but all that fuck changed in 2003/2004. I learned that there is more in life than just consuming fuck."

Randy Stair - "I’ve been conspiring to end my life for at least 4 1⁄2 years. During the bad luck streak in early 2013 was when it fully ignited. Ever since then it’s been a slow downward spiral of indescribable stress and depression."

William Atchison - "Work sucks, School sucks, Life sucks. I just want out of this shit"

Dimitris Patmanidis - "I have no reason to continue to live. I am too selfish to die and let you live."

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“I don't wanna kill anybody. But if I gotta get out that door, and you're standing in my way, one way or the other, you're gettin' outta my way.” - Mr Pink
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PostSubject: Re: Mass shooters talking about their pain:   Mass shooters talking about their pain: Icon_minitimeThu May 27, 2021 8:40 pm

Alvaro Castillo:
"I can't even cry! The anti-depressant I am taking doesn't seem to be working. On August 29, my depression will end permanently. I just want to die. I don't want to live like this anymore. I have endured 10 years."
"In one week, I will finally be dead. [...] I do not deserve anyone. [...] I know I am sick. What do you do with sick people like me. They can't change. You have to sacrifice them. Bad things could happen. We have to learn to sacrifice ourselves."
[Source]

Kip Kinkel:
"I sit here all alone. I am always alone. I don’t know who I am. I want to be something I can never be. I try so hard every day. But in the end, I hate myself for what I’ve become. Every single person I know means nothing to me. I hate every person on this earth. I wish they could all go away. [...] Please. Someone, help me. All I want is something small. Nothing big. I just want to be happy. [...] I feel like my heart has been ripped open and ripped apart. Right now, I’m drunk, so I don’t know what the hell is happening to me. It is clear that no one will help me. "
"You all make me sick. I wish I was dead."

"I am a horrible son. I wish I had been aborted. I destroy everything I touch. I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. [...] My head just doesn’t work right. God damn these VOICES inside my head. I want to die. I want to be gone. [...] I have never been happy. I wish I was happy. I wish I made my mother proud. I am nothing! I tried so hard to find happiness. But you know me I hate everything. I have no other choice. What have I become? I am so sorry"
[That's just the tip of the iceberg of depression and angst.]

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PostSubject: Re: Mass shooters talking about their pain:   Mass shooters talking about their pain: Icon_minitimeThu May 27, 2021 10:34 pm

Kenneth Bartley:
Today is the list of my horrible days. The end. [...] I am always so sad now. I never feel joy ever. I hope my room is left the same. If I had a razor blade, I would leave a sample of my blood on this paper. One of the main parts of my depression is Cristy. She bosses me around. And dad loves her more than me. That drives my literally crazy. THE END."
[Source]

Zheng Minsheng: "Life is meaningless."

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PostSubject: Re: Mass shooters talking about their pain:   Mass shooters talking about their pain: Icon_minitimeMon May 31, 2021 4:33 pm

Andrew Wurst: [After writing about being lectured by his parents] "Gee I feel soo bad. (cry, cry). Not. Fuck them thanks to them I’m in my shit life on the edge of insanity, murder and suicide.”
[After being asked by a psychologist about why he was miserable] "Nuclear wars, viruses, murders, robberies, school."

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PostSubject: Re: Mass shooters talking about their pain:   Mass shooters talking about their pain: Icon_minitimeMon May 31, 2021 8:59 pm

Guilherme taucci: "The only way is to kill yourself man,if life didnt thought you deserved to be happy and normal then fuck it,people tell you to hang on but if they were in your shoes they wouldnt be where you are,dont fall for this God bullshit because you'll die waiting for a God to help you,the best way is to end life,these people who tell you to be strong and not be ashamed,dont listen to them,you dont have a obligation to live a miserable life and if you cant have the same opportunities than other people,who knows in the next reecarnation you got the right to be happy and normal,of course i am kidding when i talk about reecarnation but its the sad reality. I tell you in good faith,dont let life step in your face." (in a yotube comment)

 "The day will come when I can finally release all that I am by nature, I'm tired of keeping the real me locked inside this body."

"I missed one of the biggest tastes I had.  I really enjoyed studying and learning new things, mastering and knowing everything about a subject, but what good is that?  For me it became a waste of time, regardless of studying or not, your future will not change at all."

"I will never forgive this government for its incompetence, I have a chance for revenge so now is the time, I will not wait until I become a hungry tramp like these beggar pigs in the streets, one with intelligence of my level is not something like this."
(about probably getting poor)



"All of you smart people know the potential you have, but you have to get by with a miserable life because of this scam government, and you know you deserve better, I get it.  you."

"I really know that in my future I will not have my own house, I will have a horrible job and kill myself to pay the rent, and in the end I will only get up in the morning to give money to inferior pigs who only wear ties and participate.  of meetings .. Unacceptable."

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PostSubject: Re: Mass shooters talking about their pain:   Mass shooters talking about their pain: Icon_minitimeFri Jun 04, 2021 10:07 am

Karl Pierson: "The serotonin supplements I am taking don't do jack shit, I am still ready to start a riot, I feel like a bomb, ready to make the world feel and experience my hatred for all things of pleasure. Nothing makes me happy. When I do commit my atrocities, I want the conversation to be about elementary school teasing. Words hurt, can mold a sociopath, and will lead someone a decade later to kill."

"I feel like a bomb. [...] I feel like an aneurism could happen at any second. Besides constantly being pissed off, I doubt the medication is working."
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PostSubject: Re: Mass shooters talking about their pain:   Mass shooters talking about their pain: Icon_minitimeMon Jun 07, 2021 2:32 pm

Jose Horacio Reyes: "[...] There were some bad things in the past caus of me. And now I'm just a monster. [...] I wish I can be a smart and a better kid so I can be the better son in out family. But if you hate me and my family doesn't love me it's okay. I know that I'm just an idiot."
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PostSubject: Re: Mass shooters talking about their pain:   Mass shooters talking about their pain: Icon_minitimeMon Jun 07, 2021 4:13 pm

Kimveer Gill: "Work sucks...school sucks...life sucks...what else can I say?" (Will Atchison ripped off this quote)


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"Now! Feel death, not just mocking you. Not just stalking you but inside of you. Wriggle and writhe. Feel smaller beneath my might. Seizure in the Pestilence that is my scythe. Die, all of you."
- T.J. Lane (in his Facebook poem)
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PostSubject: Re: Mass shooters talking about their pain:   Mass shooters talking about their pain: Icon_minitimeWed Jun 09, 2021 4:18 pm

Dorothy Dutiel (2016, Independence High School): "I also have struggled with depression and probably a few other issues. [...] I was informed she didn't love me romantically anymore. I was not okay. [...] This week had been the worst in my life. [...] All of this has destabilized me. I'm not as strong as alny of you, it seems. I know I chose the darker of the two paths, but I was just a burden anyways. [...] Feel free to for get me [...] and burn the scraps of my existence [...] I never learned to love myself. I always hated who I am. [...] It breaks my heart to leave."
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PostSubject: Re: Mass shooters talking about their pain:   Mass shooters talking about their pain: Icon_minitimeWed Jun 09, 2021 10:09 pm

Gang Lu:
Last night when I finished talking with you on the telephone, I wept my heart out here alone.
For the life of me, I can’t swallow all this. [...] There is no end to the hopes and desires in human life. [...] What further expectations do I have to live for?

George Sodini:
This type of life I see is a closed world with me specifically and totally excluded. Every other guy does this successfully to a degree. Flying solo for many years is a destroyer. [...] No matter how many changes I try to make, things stay the same. Every evening I am alone, and then go to bed alone. [...] I think those years slipped right by for me. Why should I continue another 20+ years alone? I will just work, come home, eat, maybe do something, then go to bed (alone) for the next day of the same thing. This is the Auschwitz Syndrome, to be in serious pain so long one thinks it is normal.

Leaving work today, I felt like a zombie - just going thru the motions. Get on the bus, get the car, drive home.....My mind is screwed up anymore, I can't concentrate at work or think at all. [...] The future holds even less than what I have today.

The problem is I feel too good now to do this but too bad to enjoy life. I know I will never enjoy life. This is an over 30 year trend. Some people are happy, some are miserable. It is difficult to live almost continuously feeling an undercurrent of fear, worry, discontentment and helplessness. I can talk and joke around and sound happy but under it all is something different that seems unchangable and a permanent part of my being. [...] Life is over, who cares? [...] I am feeling to good to do carry this out, but too bad to enjoy ANYTHING. My life's dilema.

These problems have gotten worse over a 30 year period. I need to expect nothing from me or other people. All through the years I thought we had the ability to change ourselves - I guess that is incorrect. Looking at The List makes me realize how TOTALLY ALONE, a deeper word is ISOLATED, I am from all else.I no longer have any expectations of myself. I have no options because I cannot work toward and achieve even the smallest goals. That is, ABOVE ALL, what bothers me the most. Not to be able to work towards what I want in my life.

Another lonely Friday night, I'm done. This is too much. [...] Everything still sucks. [...] But that is NOT what I want in life. I guess some of us were simply meant to walk a lonely path. I have slept alone for over 20 years. [...] Proof I am a total malfunction. Girls and women don't even give me a second look ANYWHERE. There is something BLATANTLY wrong with me that NO goddam person will tell me what it is.

Michael Slobodian:
I am not insane but just strictly fed up of life. I am not getting myself anywhere and it's my fault.

Jon Romano:
I’m just too afraid of the future. [...] Too much I’m afraid of. I’ve had issues the majority of my life. I still do, obviously. But I hoped I would get better and become a state trooper. [...] But now I’m just too afraid.
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PostSubject: Re: Mass shooters talking about their pain:   Mass shooters talking about their pain: Icon_minitimeThu Jun 10, 2021 12:45 pm

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:
fuckcomments in reply to YoutubeUser23: Well when I see him I will punch god in the face and tell him what a piece of shit he is before he sends me to hell for all eternity."
My favourite line of all times LMAO.
Same here lmao. Definitely relatable! LOL

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"Now! Feel death, not just mocking you. Not just stalking you but inside of you. Wriggle and writhe. Feel smaller beneath my might. Seizure in the Pestilence that is my scythe. Die, all of you."
- T.J. Lane (in his Facebook poem)

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PostSubject: Re: Mass shooters talking about their pain:   Mass shooters talking about their pain: Icon_minitimeThu Jun 10, 2021 12:52 pm

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:
Gang Lu:
Last night when I finished talking with you on the telephone, I wept my heart out here alone.
For the life of me, I can’t swallow all this. [...] There is no end to the hopes and desires in human life. [...] What further expectations do I have to live for?

Jon Romano:
I’m just too afraid of the future. [...] Too much I’m afraid of. I’ve had issues the majority of my life. I still do, obviously. But I hoped I would get better and become a state trooper. [...] But now I’m just too afraid.

Wow... those quotes of Gang Lu and Jon Romano are pretty relatable. It sucks that people feel this upset and hurt they have to commit these shootings or kill themselves. It upsets me. Sad

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“You have vandalized my heart, raped my soul and torched my conscience. You thought it was one pathetic, bored life you were extinguishing."
- Seung Hui Cho

“There isn’t an open sky or endless field to be found where I reside, not is there light or salvation to be discovered. Right about now I feel as low as I ever have. So fucking naive man, so fucking naive. Always expecting change when I know nothing ever changes… I sacrifice no more for others, part of me has fucking died and I hate this shit. I’m living every mans nightmare and that single fact alone is kicking my ass.”
-Jeff Weise
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PostSubject: Re: Mass shooters talking about their pain:   Mass shooters talking about their pain: Icon_minitimeThu Jun 10, 2021 2:05 pm

Farhan Towhid (family killer): "I can't fathom being happy. No matter what I do, I just can't be happy."

_________________
"Now! Feel death, not just mocking you. Not just stalking you but inside of you. Wriggle and writhe. Feel smaller beneath my might. Seizure in the Pestilence that is my scythe. Die, all of you."
- T.J. Lane (in his Facebook poem)

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PostSubject: Re: Mass shooters talking about their pain:   Mass shooters talking about their pain: Icon_minitimeThu Jun 10, 2021 2:15 pm

Chris Krumm (killed father's girlfriend at home and father at college): "I am not willing to live with Asperger's Syndrome anymore. In fact, I call on people who are born to cognitively or physically impaired people who are genetically predispositioned so to take action to punish their parents for having put them through so much hell."

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"Now! Feel death, not just mocking you. Not just stalking you but inside of you. Wriggle and writhe. Feel smaller beneath my might. Seizure in the Pestilence that is my scythe. Die, all of you."
- T.J. Lane (in his Facebook poem)
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PostSubject: Re: Mass shooters talking about their pain:   Mass shooters talking about their pain: Icon_minitimeThu Jun 10, 2021 4:17 pm

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:
Same here lmao. Definitely relatable! LOL
Spoiler:
 

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PostSubject: Re: Mass shooters talking about their pain:   Mass shooters talking about their pain: Icon_minitimeThu Jun 10, 2021 11:27 pm

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:
Farhan Towhid (family killer): "I can't fathom being happy. No matter what I do, I just can't be happy."

One of the most surrealists things i've ever read onthe internet.

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PostSubject: Re: Mass shooters talking about their pain:   Mass shooters talking about their pain: Icon_minitimeFri Jun 11, 2021 12:35 am

" I hate you people for leaving me out of so many fun things. And no don’t fucking say “well that’s your fault” because it isn’t, you people had my phone #, and I asked and all, but no. no no no don’t let the weird looking Eric KID come along, ooh fucking nooo."
-Eric Harris

_________________
“You have vandalized my heart, raped my soul and torched my conscience. You thought it was one pathetic, bored life you were extinguishing."
- Seung Hui Cho

“There isn’t an open sky or endless field to be found where I reside, not is there light or salvation to be discovered. Right about now I feel as low as I ever have. So fucking naive man, so fucking naive. Always expecting change when I know nothing ever changes… I sacrifice no more for others, part of me has fucking died and I hate this shit. I’m living every mans nightmare and that single fact alone is kicking my ass.”
-Jeff Weise
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PostSubject: Re: Mass shooters talking about their pain:   Mass shooters talking about their pain: Icon_minitimeSun Jun 13, 2021 2:00 pm

Christopher Sean-Harper Mercer (direct quotes, no corrections made): "I have always been the most hated person in the world. Ever since I arrived in this world, I have been under siege from it. Under attack from morons and idiots. [...] My whole life has been one lonely enterprise. One loss after another. And here I am , 26, with no friends, no job, no girlfriend, a virgin."
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PostSubject: Re: Mass shooters talking about their pain:   Mass shooters talking about their pain: Icon_minitimeYesterday at 9:03 pm

Jonathan Yeo:
"What the hell am I, not human anyway. Just a cheap imitation, a phony, nothing but a piece of shit. I don’t deserve to be alive in this world, in fact not any world. I have helped sire four beautiful children that I cannot believe could be mine. I don’t feel I deserve to be their father. My life is nothing but a dream, reality is not real because it is too cruel to be true. What kind of life is this, nothing but horror. Living is not worth it, neither is death. So what the hell are we here for. It must be to see how much shit we can take. I take so much, but can’t get rid of it, there’s so many horrors to live through. I believe we are all flies on a piece of shit, only good enough to break down more decay. Shit is a higher level of life than I am. I am the ground that shit lies on, only to be broken down by the flies that we are. I am the great ceptic tank of life.
Mr. Dirt"

Trey Sesler:
“I will Never forgive myself, I don’t know why I did this. God help Me! [...] HELP ME Someone.” (Written in various places around his house.)
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