[[

Adam Lanza:

"I hate how life-apologists say… ‘Life isn’t all suffering. What about the simple pleasures, like eating ice cream?’"
"I spent all day ruminating over how much I hate culture. Now I’ve calmed down and am left lying on the floor, numbly perplexed over the foreign concept of loving life."

Tanvir Towhid (familicide):
“I’ve had depression since 9th grade (2016). Not the ‘damn, I failed my test’ depression everyone says they have, more like a ‘I only cut myself twice today, that’s better than usual’."
“I only cried, laughed, and talked to myself while punching a wall for hours”
“The dude is a fucking genius but is too depressed and socially anxious to do anything with it”-about his brother

Mark Barton:
"I have been dying since October. I wake up at night so afraid, so terrified that I couldn't be that afraid while awake. It has taken its toll. I have come to hate this life and this system of things. I have come to have no hope."

Vladislav Roslyakov:
"I know I’m not unique. There are thousands like me. If people are so unique why we call them the same names. Masha, Petya, Kolya. Walking along the street see man you know. Call him. No, it’s not him. People all the same. "
"I hate get up every morning and then fall asleep know that tomorrow will be the same"
"You look for sacred meaning in things, and then realize there's fucking nothing"
"I think it's possible to become a nihilist. It's like you were a billionaire and then became a bum"
"And parents, fuck, if you had known how much I hated everything. They planned your life, they didn't even ask for your opinion, made your decision for you. Good that I will made an excellent prom and this shit will be over."
"Only the dead are independent. The heads of most people are full of shit."

Eric Harris - "I hate you people for leaving me out of so many fun things"

Incoming wall of text.
Luke Woodham: "I suffered all my life. No one ever truly loved me. No one ever truly cared about me. I only loved one thing in my whole life and that was Christina Menefee. But she was torn away from me. I tried to save myself with [student’s name], but she never cared for me. As it turns out, she made fun of me behind my back while we were together. And all throughout my life I was ridiculed. Always beaten, always hated. [...] I am malicious because I am miserable."

"It was not a cry for attention, it was not a cry for help. It was a scream in sheer agony [...]"

On an unrelated note, Cho's quote there is something else. His English major shows.

Some Adam Lanza ones

fuckcomments in reply to YoutubeUser23: Well when I see him I will punch god in the face and tell him what a piece of shit he is before he sends me to hell for all eternity."

Nancy Lanza to Peter Lanza
“He is on the verge of tears over not having his journal entries ready to pass in. He said he tried to concentrate and couldn’t and has been wondering why he is ‘such a loser’ and if there is anything he can do about it.”
“He went straight to his room and won’t eat. I gave him time alone to compose and have tried to speak to him twice now, but he just keeps saying, ‘It does not matter’ and ‘leave me’ ‘I don’t want to speak of it.’ ” Two months later, Nancy recorded his despair when faced with some coursework in German: “He finally and tearfully said that he can’t complete the German. He can’t understand it. He has spent hours on the worksheets and can’t comprehend them.”
In early 2010, when Nancy told Peter that Adam had been crying hysterically on the bathroom floor.
“Even ten minutes before we should leave he was getting ready to go, but then had a meltdown and began to cry and couldn’t go. He said things like it’s pointless, and he doesn’t even know what he doesn’t know.”
“I just spent 2 hours sitting outside his door, talking to him about why he is so upset. He failed every single test during that class, yet he thought he knew the material.” Later that day, she wrote, “I have the feeling when he said he would rather be homeless than to take any more tests, he really meant it.” Nancy said that Adam had been pretending to go to classes and passing his time in the library.

"me" document
You could actually type coherently. Relationships cannot exist if communication is not present, which would immediately preclude me from being able to have a relationship with 99% of the humans there. I don't believe it's a coincidence that the only other person I liked at all was Soresu, who usually types coherently. If I had spoken to him more often, I might have loved him. Once every month or so in that game, I would meet someone who would type properly, and I would always try to play with them. I remember one person in particular whom I followed around only because he typed properly, which allowed me to communicate with him without feeling as if I was dealing with a severely mentally handicapped duck. He spoke disrespectfully of his girlfriend the first day I spoke to him, which would normally serve as the catalyst for my detestment of such a person, yet I completely overlooked it because I was so relieved to be able to speak with someone who was in any way capable of communicating.
I incessantly have nothing other than scorn for humanity. I have been desperate to feel anything positive for someone for my entire life.
I'm capable of boundless affection. I had never been in a sitation to feel that way before, so I thought that it was special. I took my focus away from myself and directed it toward you. Because I used to be hate-filled and couldn't just dismiss people I didn't like. It tore me apart, and I needed someone who didn't.

The Sheltered Storm
In one exchange, late at night, the user behind “Smiggles” tells another user that he often finds himself listening to the same songs, over and over:
Smiggles: I don’t know if listening to it is cathartic for my mind or if it just exacerbates my relentless thoughts... I get preoccupied with the simplest things and I obsess over them every conscious moment until something else gets my immediate attention, at which point the first one gets relegated to some mental cesspool where everything just keeps accumulating. It gets irritating. I’m going to be awake for a while thinking about something even though I’m exhausted, and tomorrow probably isn’t going to be better.

SilverMoxie wrote:

fuckcomments in reply to YoutubeUser23: Well when I see him I will punch god in the face and tell him what a piece of shit he is before he sends me to hell for all eternity."

My favourite line of all times LMAO.

Federico Guevara:
''It's a popular saying because it's true, every morning I wake up, look in the mirror, hate myself and contemplate just downing my bottle of pills, it's a ***** to fight depression but, still I'm trying my ****ing damndest, I don't want to disappoint my family and the few friends I have..It's a hard long battle, depression is a ****ing monster that tries to eat you alive and beat your ass down, I've been fighting it for 5 years, it literally started with some small bull**** thing, and then it developed into my final boss. Every day I wake up and hope that I can beat it, that's why I haven't ended my life yet, I realize it is a permanent solution to a temporary problem, but that's just my view and story on it.''

''I'm epileptic, I enjoy playing tanky/engage type champions, I fight with depression on a daily basis, not sure why I'm saying this on here but, every day I look at my medication and contemplate downing all the pills.''

He also cited depression in a YouTube comment.

From Mutsuo Toi's suicide note (via google translate, so I can't attest to it's accuracy):
"I did something so miserable when I thought I would die comfortably, I'm really sorry, tears, tears. I'm sorry for tears, I'm sorry for my sister, I'm sorry, please forgive me, [...] I cried for the oppression, I cried a little for my relatives, but my relatives were a little love. [...] The dawn is approaching, let's die."

Pierre Lebrun:
"I am tired, exhausted and completely backed against the wall."
"I am being followed, spied upon, humiliated from Vancouver, Kamloops, Kelowna and even Las Vegas -- yes, I went to Vegas. They will never leave me alone. I can't go on living like this. They have destroyed my life."
"I know that everyone will say that I'm crazy, but to the contrary I'm very intelligent, too intelligent."

Alex Hribal:
"But am I honestly going to tell you I am a victim? I am no more a victim than you, the person reading this. In this cruel world full of misery and selfishness, we are all victims of something, even if we are all selfish. Leaving behind everything good about my life and trading it for heaven. That's enough bullshitting for now though, I don't need pity."
" I do this because the world is bitter and painful. People often celebrate the good things in life, but that's only a lie. All good things must end, so why celebrate? So life can be more enjoyable. But You [sic] don't have to live. You don't have to endure this harsh and evil world. A world where most people can only find happiness or enjoyment in doing drugs, drinking alcohol, and making you fellow man suffer (not that that's bad, it's just when you preach that humans should be nice to each other, then are only concerned about yourself, makes you an exhibit of hypocrisy.)"

Jacob Tyler Roberts:
"My mom is not in my life anymore. I do not consider her to be my mom and I do not consider myself to be her son. My timeline ends here, about a few days ago. I got a phone call form my mom, and I haven't talked to her in at least a year. And she calls me up out of the blue asking me if I would like to come over and drink with her. I told her that I do not drink and I didn't know why she was either. She tells me that the next step is suicide. I guess that will make you come over here wont it Jake, she says. What do you say to that? What do you say to your mother telling you that she is going to kill herself and is giving you the destination of where her body can be found. And how I better start thinking of what to do her things because she isn't going to need it where she is going. What do you say to that. Why would she put that much pressure on me when we haven't spoken in so long? I s it my fault she is doing this? I cant have the conscience of her death om my shoulders. I was doing good. Since I haven't talked to her I have started college, I wasn't even thinking about coming college. She never put that in my head. And I'm rising up, coming out of my shell, starting my life as you could say. And she is going to tell me this. How do I react. What do I do?"
"I would express my anger towards classmates and authorities figures growing up for a tool to frighten people. I never wanted anyone to fell sympathy for me in elementary school, I wanted them to fear me because I felt rejected and could not express that."

Killisaki wrote:

Jacob Tyler Roberts:
"My mom is not in my life anymore. I do not consider her to be my mom and I do not consider myself to be her son. My timeline ends here, about a few days ago. I got a phone call form my mom, and I haven't talked to her in at least a year. And she calls me up out of the blue asking me if I would like to come over and drink with her. I told her that I do not drink and I didn't know why she was either. She tells me that the next step is suicide. I guess that will make you come over here wont it Jake, she says. What do you say to that? What do you say to your mother telling you that she is going to kill herself and is giving you the destination of where her body can be found. And how I better start thinking of what to do her things because she isn't going to need it where she is going. What do you say to that. Why would she put that much pressure on me when we haven't spoken in so long? I s it my fault she is doing this? I cant have the conscience of her death om my shoulders. I was doing good. Since I haven't talked to her I have started college, I wasn't even thinking about coming college. She never put that in my head. And I'm rising up, coming out of my shell, starting my life as you could say. And she is going to tell me this. How do I react. What do I do?"
"I would express my anger towards classmates and authorities figures growing up for a tool to frighten people. I never wanted anyone to fell sympathy for me in elementary school, I wanted them to fear me because I felt rejected and could not express that."

Source? I can't seem to find much information on Roberts really anywhere.

QuestionMark wrote:

Killisaki wrote:

Jacob Tyler Roberts:
"My mom is not in my life anymore. I do not consider her to be my mom and I do not consider myself to be her son. My timeline ends here, about a few days ago. I got a phone call form my mom, and I haven't talked to her in at least a year. And she calls me up out of the blue asking me if I would like to come over and drink with her. I told her that I do not drink and I didn't know why she was either. She tells me that the next step is suicide. I guess that will make you come over here wont it Jake, she says. What do you say to that? What do you say to your mother telling you that she is going to kill herself and is giving you the destination of where her body can be found. And how I better start thinking of what to do her things because she isn't going to need it where she is going. What do you say to that. Why would she put that much pressure on me when we haven't spoken in so long? I s it my fault she is doing this? I cant have the conscience of her death om my shoulders. I was doing good. Since I haven't talked to her I have started college, I wasn't even thinking about coming college. She never put that in my head. And I'm rising up, coming out of my shell, starting my life as you could say. And she is going to tell me this. How do I react. What do I do?"
"I would express my anger towards classmates and authorities figures growing up for a tool to frighten people. I never wanted anyone to fell sympathy for me in elementary school, I wanted them to fear me because I felt rejected and could not express that."

Source? I can't seem to find much information on Roberts really anywhere.

Part 7 of the police report, in particular page 100, which is the start of the part of the examation of his computer, being the parts I copied being from temporary autosaves copies of word files found in his computer, being the original files, most likely, deleted by him before the shooting.
Link: [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Bastian Bosse - "Since 3rd grade, people picked on me. And I was a loser. I wanted to have friends, to have clothes with the brand name on it in big letters, but all that fuck changed in 2003/2004. I learned that there is more in life than just consuming fuck."

Randy Stair - "I’ve been conspiring to end my life for at least 4 1⁄2 years. During the bad luck streak in early 2013 was when it fully ignited. Ever since then it’s been a slow downward spiral of indescribable stress and depression."

William Atchison - "Work sucks, School sucks, Life sucks. I just want out of this shit"

Dimitris Patmanidis - "I have no reason to continue to live. I am too selfish to die and let you live."

Alvaro Castillo:
"I can't even cry! The anti-depressant I am taking doesn't seem to be working. On August 29, my depression will end permanently. I just want to die. I don't want to live like this anymore. I have endured 10 years."
"In one week, I will finally be dead. [...] I do not deserve anyone. [...] I know I am sick. What do you do with sick people like me. They can't change. You have to sacrifice them. Bad things could happen. We have to learn to sacrifice ourselves."
[Source]

Kip Kinkel:
"I sit here all alone. I am always alone. I don’t know who I am. I want to be something I can never be. I try so hard every day. But in the end, I hate myself for what I’ve become. Every single person I know means nothing to me. I hate every person on this earth. I wish they could all go away. [...] Please. Someone, help me. All I want is something small. Nothing big. I just want to be happy. [...] I feel like my heart has been ripped open and ripped apart. Right now, I’m drunk, so I don’t know what the hell is happening to me. It is clear that no one will help me. "
"You all make me sick. I wish I was dead."

"I am a horrible son. I wish I had been aborted. I destroy everything I touch. I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. [...] My head just doesn’t work right. God damn these VOICES inside my head. I want to die. I want to be gone. [...] I have never been happy. I wish I was happy. I wish I made my mother proud. I am nothing! I tried so hard to find happiness. But you know me I hate everything. I have no other choice. What have I become? I am so sorry"
[That's just the tip of the iceberg of depression and angst.]

Kenneth Bartley:
Today is the list of my horrible days. The end. [...] I am always so sad now. I never feel joy ever. I hope my room is left the same. If I had a razor blade, I would leave a sample of my blood on this paper. One of the main parts of my depression is Cristy. She bosses me around. And dad loves her more than me. That drives my literally crazy. THE END."
[Source]

Zheng Minsheng: "Life is meaningless."

Andrew Wurst: [After writing about being lectured by his parents] "Gee I feel soo bad. (cry, cry). Not. Fuck them thanks to them I’m in my shit life on the edge of insanity, murder and suicide.”
[After being asked by a psychologist about why he was miserable] "Nuclear wars, viruses, murders, robberies, school."

Guilherme taucci: "The only way is to kill yourself man,if life didnt thought you deserved to be happy and normal then fuck it,people tell you to hang on but if they were in your shoes they wouldnt be where you are,dont fall for this God bullshit because you'll die waiting for a God to help you,the best way is to end life,these people who tell you to be strong and not be ashamed,dont listen to them,you dont have a obligation to live a miserable life and if you cant have the same opportunities than other people,who knows in the next reecarnation you got the right to be happy and normal,of course i am kidding when i talk about reecarnation but its the sad reality. I tell you in good faith,dont let life step in your face." (in a yotube comment)

 "The day will come when I can finally release all that I am by nature, I'm tired of keeping the real me locked inside this body."

"I missed one of the biggest tastes I had.  I really enjoyed studying and learning new things, mastering and knowing everything about a subject, but what good is that?  For me it became a waste of time, regardless of studying or not, your future will not change at all."

"I will never forgive this government for its incompetence, I have a chance for revenge so now is the time, I will not wait until I become a hungry tramp like these beggar pigs in the streets, one with intelligence of my level is not something like this." (about probably getting poor)



"All of you smart people know the potential you have, but you have to get by with a miserable life because of this scam government, and you know you deserve better, I get it.  you."

"I really know that in my future I will not have my own house, I will have a horrible job and kill myself to pay the rent, and in the end I will only get up in the morning to give money to inferior pigs who only wear ties and participate.  of meetings .. Unacceptable."

Karl Pierson: "The serotonin supplements I am taking don't do jack shit, I am still ready to start a riot, I feel like a bomb, ready to make the world feel and experience my hatred for all things of pleasure. Nothing makes me happy. When I do commit my atrocities, I want the conversation to be about elementary school teasing. Words hurt, can mold a sociopath, and will lead someone a decade later to kill."

"I feel like a bomb. [...] I feel like an aneurism could happen at any second. Besides constantly being pissed off, I doubt the medication is working."

Jose Horacio Reyes: "[...] There were some bad things in the past caus of me. And now I'm just a monster. [...] I wish I can be a smart and a better kid so I can be the better son in out family. But if you hate me and my family doesn't love me it's okay. I know that I'm just an idiot."

Kimveer Gill: "Work sucks...school sucks...life sucks...what else can I say?" (Will Atchison ripped off this quote)

Dorothy Dutiel (2016, Independence High School): "I also have struggled with depression and probably a few other issues. [...] I was informed she didn't love me romantically anymore. I was not okay. [...] This week had been the worst in my life. [...] All of this has destabilized me. I'm not as strong as alny of you, it seems. I know I chose the darker of the two paths, but I was just a burden anyways. [...] Feel free to for get me [...] and burn the scraps of my existence [...] I never learned to love myself. I always hated who I am. [...] It breaks my heart to leave."

Gang Lu:
Last night when I finished talking with you on the telephone, I wept my heart out here alone.
For the life of me, I can’t swallow all this. [...] There is no end to the hopes and desires in human life. [...] What further expectations do I have to live for?

George Sodini:
This type of life I see is a closed world with me specifically and totally excluded. Every other guy does this successfully to a degree. Flying solo for many years is a destroyer. [...] No matter how many changes I try to make, things stay the same. Every evening I am alone, and then go to bed alone. [...] I think those years slipped right by for me. Why should I continue another 20+ years alone? I will just work, come home, eat, maybe do something, then go to bed (alone) for the next day of the same thing. This is the Auschwitz Syndrome, to be in serious pain so long one thinks it is normal.

Leaving work today, I felt like a zombie - just going thru the motions. Get on the bus, get the car, drive home.....My mind is screwed up anymore, I can't concentrate at work or think at all. [...] The future holds even less than what I have today.

The problem is I feel too good now to do this but too bad to enjoy life. I know I will never enjoy life. This is an over 30 year trend. Some people are happy, some are miserable. It is difficult to live almost continuously feeling an undercurrent of fear, worry, discontentment and helplessness. I can talk and joke around and sound happy but under it all is something different that seems unchangable and a permanent part of my being. [...] Life is over, who cares? [...] I am feeling to good to do carry this out, but too bad to enjoy ANYTHING. My life's dilema.

These problems have gotten worse over a 30 year period. I need to expect nothing from me or other people. All through the years I thought we had the ability to change ourselves - I guess that is incorrect. Looking at The List makes me realize how TOTALLY ALONE, a deeper word is ISOLATED, I am from all else.I no longer have any expectations of myself. I have no options because I cannot work toward and achieve even the smallest goals. That is, ABOVE ALL, what bothers me the most. Not to be able to work towards what I want in my life.

Another lonely Friday night, I'm done. This is too much. [...] Everything still sucks. [...] But that is NOT what I want in life. I guess some of us were simply meant to walk a lonely path. I have slept alone for over 20 years. [...] Proof I am a total malfunction. Girls and women don't even give me a second look ANYWHERE. There is something BLATANTLY wrong with me that NO goddam person will tell me what it is.

Michael Slobodian:
I am not insane but just strictly fed up of life. I am not getting myself anywhere and it's my fault.

Jon Romano:
I’m just too afraid of the future. [...] Too much I’m afraid of. I’ve had issues the majority of my life. I still do, obviously. But I hoped I would get better and become a state trooper. [...] But now I’m just too afraid.

Maboroshi wrote:

SilverMoxie wrote:

fuckcomments in reply to YoutubeUser23: Well when I see him I will punch god in the face and tell him what a piece of shit he is before he sends me to hell for all eternity."

My favourite line of all times LMAO.

Same here lmao. Definitely relatable!

dyonqqr wrote:

Gang Lu:
Last night when I finished talking with you on the telephone, I wept my heart out here alone.
For the life of me, I can’t swallow all this. [...] There is no end to the hopes and desires in human life. [...] What further expectations do I have to live for?

Jon Romano:
I’m just too afraid of the future. [...] Too much I’m afraid of. I’ve had issues the majority of my life. I still do, obviously. But I hoped I would get better and become a state trooper. [...] But now I’m just too afraid.

Wow... those quotes of Gang Lu and Jon Romano are pretty relatable. It sucks that people feel this upset and hurt they have to commit these shootings or kill themselves. It upsets me.

Farhan Towhid (family killer): "I can't fathom being happy. No matter what I do, I just can't be happy."

Chris Krumm (killed father's girlfriend at home and father at college): "I am not willing to live with Asperger's Syndrome anymore. In fact, I call on people who are born to cognitively or physically impaired people who are genetically predispositioned so to take action to punish their parents for having put them through so much hell."

" I hate you people for leaving me out of so many fun things. And no don’t fucking say “well that’s your fault” because it isn’t, you people had my phone #, and I asked and all, but no. no no no don’t let the weird looking Eric KID come along, ooh fucking nooo."
-Eric Harris

Christopher Sean-Harper Mercer (direct quotes, no corrections made): "I have always been the most hated person in the world. Ever since I arrived in this world, I have been under siege from it. Under attack from morons and idiots. [...] My whole life has been one lonely enterprise. One loss after another. And here I am , 26, with no friends, no job, no girlfriend, a virgin."

Jonathan Yeo:
"What the hell am I, not human anyway. Just a cheap imitation, a phony, nothing but a piece of shit. I don’t deserve to be alive in this world, in fact not any world. I have helped sire four beautiful children that I cannot believe could be mine. I don’t feel I deserve to be their father. My life is nothing but a dream, reality is not real because it is too cruel to be true. What kind of life is this, nothing but horror. Living is not worth it, neither is death. So what the hell are we here for. It must be to see how much shit we can take. I take so much, but can’t get rid of it, there’s so many horrors to live through. I believe we are all flies on a piece of shit, only good enough to break down more decay. Shit is a higher level of life than I am. I am the ground that shit lies on, only to be broken down by the flies that we are. I am the great ceptic tank of life.
Mr. Dirt"

Trey Sesler:
“I will Never forgive myself, I don’t know why I did this. God help Me! [...] HELP ME Someone.” (Written in various places around his house.)

James Seevakumaran (thwarted UCF shooter): "[...] He hated everyone, why wouldn't he? He was something truly unique and yet it meant only that he would be done against for being different [...] He would not live a shit life for clone garbage. He would not live a 2nd class life for some arbitrary social value, or some fucking last name. [...] This world sux and he would die one day anyway, so why put himself through bullshit for no reason..."
(Source.)

George Hennard: Life has become a stalemate. There is simply no hope and not a prayer. (Written on his calendar on the day of his attack at Luby's.)

Alvaro castillo: "I am  felling very depressed these days. I drown my sadness 
and depression with work, cleaning, and movies. Still, it just
keeps coming back. "


"The anti deppressant i am taking doesnt seem to be working.
On august 29 the depression will end permanently. "
"I just want to die, i dont want to live like this anymore. "


(Sorry if there are translation errors, I'm not a native speaker and it cost me a little more to translate his diary written by hand If there is something wrong, I appreciate the corrections.)

Anthony "T.J." Solomon (1999 Heritage High School shooting):
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
(Source. I cropped out quotes that were irrelevant for the thread.)

"To be honest, I don’t know what happiness is. But I would very much like to quickly find out what it is."
- Артём Ануфриев (Artyom Anoufriev) (Not a shooter, but a teenage killer)
(Source.)

“I was angry with everyone, I lost faith in myself, people and justice."
- Никита Лыткин (Nikita Lytkin) (Not a shooter, but a teenage killer)
(Source.)

Jaylen Fryberg (removed emojis and fixed capitalization):
It breaks me... It actually does... I know it seems like I'm sweating it off... But I'm not.. And I never will be able to...
I hate hearin shit like that.. It just continues to fuck me up I just feel stupid now.. Exactly what I thought was gonna happen happened..
I hate that I can't live without you
Fuck it! Might as well die now.
It won't last.... It'll never last....
(Source.)

Tomohiro Katō: "If only I had a girlfriend, I wouldn't have quit work [...] I would never have become addicted to my mobile phone. Anybody with hope couldn't possibly understand how I feel [...] I don't have a single friend and I won't in the future. I'll be ignored because I'm ugly. I'm lower than trash because at least the trash gets recycled."

Jesse Osborne: "Sometimes too much knowledge can ruin you."

Richard Durn:

"I'm tired of having in my head, always this phrase that keeps coming back: "I didn't live, I didn't live anything at my 30 years old.'' I am tired of spending hours listening to the radio so as not to feel cut off from the world, and staying glued to the television on certain nights when I know it's a machine for decerebrating and dumbing down people and minds. I'm tired of desperately waiting for a letter or a phone call when I no longer exist for anyone, that I am forgotten by everyone... I never knew how to fight. I never learned how to love myself a little (without being self-absorbed and self-centered). I always put my own brakes on myself. I always hold out poles and sticks to be flogged by others. I'm tired of being the depressive and pitiful (at best) service guy.
I'm tired of watching my body and face age and realizing that time goes by and I have nothing. [...] I can no longer be at the bottom of the ladder and see all the people I've been around progressing in life (marriage, life as a couple, financial independence, umbilical rupture with the family, professional career and strategies to progress). I feel blocked because I don't have a wife. I feel blocked because I haven't learned to be indispensable to a group of people. I feel blocked because I no longer have social and emotional bearings. I'm just a registration number that no one cares about. I'm blindfolded and I'm running around in circles in a room banging into a piece of furniture or a wall every ten seconds. I don't want to die without having fucked a lot. I don't want to die without having been in love and without a woman having been in love with me, even though I'm weak, fucked up and immature and I'm already over 30."
"I want to see if I can live a little. This has to stop. Either I find the will to live or I die suddenly but not little by little as I do."
"My name is Richard Durn. I'm over 33 years old and I don't know how to do anything with my life. I've been an onanist for at least 20 years. I no longer know what a woman's body is and I have never experienced a real love story. I masturbate out of loneliness, out of a habit of self-loathing, out of a desire to forget the emptiness of my life and no doubt out of pleasure. But what kind of pleasure do I really have?"
"October 9, 1999, was an important date in my life as a coward and a moron. Seeing that I had not been accepted to Bioforce school to become a humanitarian logistician, that I had no home, no girlfriend (I had not had sex for years or during the summer holidays), I gave up on life. I threw in the towel. I could take the training to become a chief education adviser in a university institute for teachers, but why? To do a job that I would hate if I had passed the exam.
I have always hated the past job I did, where I was less than nothing and where I was humiliated and vegetated. I'm in pain and full of hate. But that hatred doesn't come out. It's repressed."

Cheng Chieh (鄭捷):
I had to murder people so I would be convicted for murder and given the death sentence. Only then would my miserable life end.

Dmitry Vinogradov:
All these facts and everything I’ve seen throughout my life created in me hatred toward humanity. I hate the human society and I hate to be a part of it! I hate the futility of human life! I hate this very life! I see only one way to justify it: to destroy as many particles of human compost as possible. This is the only right thing one can do in life; this is the only way to do something good.

Daniil Pul'kin:
Хочу умереть (I want to die)

Karl Pierson - "Saguntum is the project to shoot up (and maybe bomb) Arapahoe
High School. No date has been set, but I would like it before new years. Finals week would
do nicely, but a date with snow should be sooner. I also imagine the idea of what I hope
will happen."

Scott Beierle:
- I seem to bring out the ugliness in people.
- The insults they come in wave after wave and ultimately I remain her slave, I lie in her underlying grasp.
- Can’t understand my brutality reality.

Breanna Long (2016 Dunbarton High School stabbing):
- What I'd REALLY love is to die.
- I'll continue to suffer until I can die. I'll never be okay, I'm too far gone. All I want is to kill now.
- Why can’t I just be normal?
- i want to die. my existence as a whole is meaningless and i feel nothing but pain and sorrow with every waking moment.

Adam Lanza:
"Self" is a delusion and life cannot be anything other than suffering.
I was as depressed as I get during my last post, and I'm fine with the interminable depression that I normally have, but now I'm incoherently giddy with glee. Well, relative to my baseline... Except now that I'm giddy, I can't really say that I hate it because I think everything is delightful. If depressives cut themselves to feel better, I wonder what cutting a happy-go-lucker would do.

Some Jaylen Fryberg quotes(i can definitely relate to how he felt in these tweets below- but what he did and his other tweets... not so much)
"It won't last.... It'll never last...."
"I should have listened.... You were right... The whole time you were right..."
"Alright. You fuckin got me.... That broke me"

also this entire post by william atchison:
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more william atchison too:
"Wow, I was going on a nostalgia frenzy, scanning through my past. .. My current life is so damned miserable. I got few friends anymore, no social life online or offline outside of some infrequent comments on youtube / steam. My alt channel (made in 2009 as a backup for mrapophis) is barely surviving at 9 subs, less than 200 views. G+ Youtube is difficult for me to get used to! My life has no purpose anymore My last resort for socialization - my family, they ignore me now. Douchebags! But, it is halfway through 2014! The time, unfortunately flied. If only I could go back in time 20 years!"

omar thornton:
"They're treating me bad over here. And treat all other black employees bad over here, too,"

sebastian bosse:
"The only thing I intensely learned at school was that I am a loser. I concede I was a loser during the first years at my high school, I had a propensity of consume, I wanted to get friends, friends that do not consider you as a person, but rather as a status symbol. Finally I woke up! I recognized the world as I imagined does not exist at all, it was an illusion, mainly created by the media. I recognized what kind of world I am living in, a world ruled by money, even at school. You have to have the newest cell phone, you have to have the newest brand clothing, you have to have the right ‘’friends’’. If you do not possess, you are not worth to receive attention. Those people are called ‘’Jocks’’, a Jock is everybody who thinks to be better than others because of more expensive clothing and a more beautiful girlfriend. I abominate these people, no, I abominate people in general."

christopher dorner:
"I’m not an aspiring rapper, I’m not a gang member, I’m not a dope dealer, I don’t have multiple babies momma’s. I am an American by choice, I am a son, I am a brother, I am a military service member, I am a man who has lost complete faith in the system, when the system betrayed, slandered, and libeled me. I lived a good life and though not a religious man I always stuck to my own personal code of ethics, ethos and always stuck to my shoreline and true North. I didn’t need the US Navy to instill Honor, Courage, and Commitment in me but I thank them for re-enforcing it. It’s in my DNA. "

brandon scott hole:
"I hope that I can be with Applejack in the afterlife, my life has no meaning without her"

charles whitman:
"I consulted a Dr. Cochrum at the University Health Center and asked him to recommend someone that I could consult with about some psychiatric disorders I felt I had. I talked with a Doctor once for about two hours and tried to convey to him my fears that I felt come overwhelming violent impulses. After one season I never saw the Doctor again, and since then I have been fighting my mental turmoil alone, and seemingly to no avail. After my death I wish that an autopsy would be performed on me to see if there is any visible physical disorder. I have had some tremendous headaches in the past and have consumed two large bottles of Excedrin in the past three months."

ahmad al-issa:
“Yeah if these racist islamophobic people would stop hacking my phone and let me have a normal life I probably could,”

Jesse Osborne:
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Dylann Roof:
"I am in bed, so depressed I cannot get out of bed. My life is wasted. I have no friends even though I am cool. I am going back to sleep."

more about Alvaro castillo:

“I am tired of my depression. I am feeling really down these days. I cannot deal with my emotions anymore. People who read this will probably laugh at me. I am tired of suffering in the world.”

"Once again, I’m sorry for what I did. But he’s gone. He’s dead. I’m sorry for the pain I’m going to cause, but I’m not right in the head. I just want to die. I just want to die."

Jeff weisse: "I'm living every mans nightmare and that single fact alone is kicking my ass, I really must be fucking worthless. This place never changes, it never will. Fuck it all"

"I sacrifice no more for others, part of me has fucking died and I hate this shit."

Kip kinkel:

My eyes hurt. They hurt so bad. They feel like they are trying to crawl out of my head. Why aren’t I normal? Help me. No one will. I will kill every last mother fucking one of you.

I want you to feel this, be this, taste this, kill this. Kill me. Oh God, I don’t want to live. Will I see it to the end? What kind of dad would I make? All humans are evil. I just want to end the world of evil.

 You all make me sick. I wish I was dead

The only reason I stay alive is because of hope. Even though I am repulsive and few people know who I am, I still feel that things might, maybe, just a little bit, get better. 

Mitchell Johnson: "I felt cornered. I felt like I didn’t have anywhere to go, nothing to do. I thought my life was at an end."

Also, it turns out the original quote from Dylann Roof was "I’m sorry I just can’t do it. I’m very depressed right now and I feel sick. . . . I know I believe you, but I’m so depressed right now all I can do is sleep. Everyone rejects me and I have no friends, even though im cool. Im just being wasted and I cant take it. Im sorry, im going back to sleep now."