Adam Lanza's father talks

''Adam was just a normal little weird kid''. A long, 8-page interview in the New Yorker : [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Thanks for posting. There was some good information in there. Sandy Hook is not a shooting I have particular interest in, but it was still pretty fascinating to read about the family dynamics and how those may have contributed to Adam's issues. (Because based on what I just read, I have no doubt that they contributed signficantly.)

Very interesting.
Living with Adam sounds like it was extremely challenging on a daily basis. It seems there was an awful lot going on within the Lanza house which was progressively getting worse over time.

I found the following quote interesting. From the limited amount of information i have read about Lanza, it would appear that there was a strong possibility he was suffering from something else either  alongside or instead of Aspergers. I think we had some discussion in one of the other Sandy Hook related threads about Lanza's mental health.

Quote :

"Peter gets annoyed when people speculate that Asperger’s was the cause of Adam’s rampage. “Asperger’s makes people unusual, but it doesn’t make people like this,” he said, and expressed the view that the condition “veiled a contaminant” that was not Asperger’s: “I was thinking it could mask schizophrenia.”

pg(4)

Quote :

Scientists are sequencing Adam’s DNA to see if they can find anomalies that might explain what was broken in him

pg (7)
 

At the end of the article where it says Peter had declared he wished Adam had never been born, and that there could be no remembering who he was without remembering who he became. It really reminded me of Sue Klebold's comment in FFTT, about how for the world it may have been better if Dylan had never been born, but it would not have been better for her.

The part that really got me was Peter Lanza saying "I had to borrow my lawyer's pants," when talking about the day of the shooting and trying to get to his living son and the police interviews. While I actually laughed at the line, because it is an amusing thought, it also makes a significant statement as to the total disruption this has caused in the lives of Adam's family. We always talk about "did the family grieve or were they busy being mad or why didn't they do this or..." Realistically, the world as they know it has ended. I can't imagine how they function enough to talk to the police for the first month. I am not as articulate as many of the people on this board, but I suppose that what I'm trying to say is that we focus on the big impact, but there are so many tiny, day-to-day moments where it must hit them. I thought Lanza's pants comment really drove that home.

Wow, that is incredible interesting. I did not know that many details about Adams psychological problems. I certainly didn't know that Adam rejected his diagnosis.

This was so interesting to read, it gives a very good personal perspective of Adam and his family and there are several facts than now intrigue me more than before. I am thinking more about it now, because its possible that his autism problems, influence in what happened and what ocurred to him before the shooting, but I am trying to believe that maybe there is something else that contributed with his psychological problem and if there are some events or something that happened to him that could also influence in his behaviour.

There's a lot of bashing of Adam's mother in the media but this article made me feel sorry for her. She obviously devoted a lot of her life to trying to help him, to the point where she may have been overprotecting him. But then, I've seen mother of autistic children and they are very devoted and intense when it comes to caring for their children. This is a woman who thought she may have to live with her soon-to-be adult child for a long time...just devoting herself to him.

Adam was trying to make his own choices (going for 5 courses in college) but was used to being treated like a baby. Maybe the family dynamics contributed to Adam's planning of a shooting but, it's not the family's fault. I also believe like other posters have mentionned there was something else at play other than Asperger. Plenty of parents are extremely protective of their autistic children without it ending in a massacre.

Of course, the guns were a bad idea in retrospect but, I get how it could have made sense for this mother who wanted to engage her son with something he enjoyed.

Interesting how Adam got suddenly interested in WWII, guns and joining the military. But then, many teens also are and it's not a dangerous interest in itself. Only if it's taken into account with other elements. ''Park Dietz, a psychiatrist who, in 1986, coined the term “pseudocommando.” Dietz says that for pseudocommandos a preoccupation with weapons and war regalia makes up for a sense of impotence and failure. He wrote that we insist that mass killers are insane only to reassure ourselves that normal people are incapable of such evil.''

Anyone else here is discouraged about psychology and therapy the way I am?

''Paul Appelbaum, a forensic psychiatrist at Columbia, points out that many young men are asocial and unhappy, spend too much time online, become video-game addicts—but cause no harm. The few dangerous ones are impossible to identify. “Even if we knew who they were or were likely to be, whether they’d actually accept treatment is an open question. Among the hardest people to engage in treatment are young males who may be angry, suspicious, and socially isolated. Coming to a therapist’s office for an hour a week just to pour their heart out doesn’t seem like a particularly attractive opportunity, in general.''

Mental health professionals cannot see a homicidal young man even if he was coming at them with a gun. Reminded me of Eric and Dylan's psychologist during the juvenile program.

Also, the violent writings by Adam made me think of Dylan's story being zoned in by her teacher. The same happened with Adam and yet, nothing came out of it.

What I find a bit strange is, that they never speak about Adams sexuality during the Interview. I mean, it now seems pretty clear, that Adam had homosexual and pedophile interests, which possible did effect his view on himself. And in the case of pedophilia, it could have been a reason for the shooting. Not necessarily in the way, that shooting kids itself was arousing for Adam (although that could be as well possible) but probably more in the way, Dylan was aggressive towards girls: If you are desperately longing for an relationship with someone and you know, or believe to know that you can never have it, affection can easily turn into desperation and hate.

Hale-Bopp wrote:

What I find a bit strange is, that they never speak about Adams sexuality during the Interview. I mean, it now seems pretty clear, that Adam had homosexual and pedophile interests, which possible did effect his view on himself. And in the case of pedophilia, it could have been a reason for the shooting. Not necessarily in the way, that shooting kids itself was arousing for Adam (although that could be as well possible) but probably more in the way, Dylan was aggressive towards girls: If you are desperately longing for an relationship with someone and you know, or believe to know that you can never have it, affection can easily turn into desperation and hate.

Or maybe something about hating his predilection and wanting to eliminate the cause (kids)?

I had read he may have had a pedophile inclination but not about homosexuality. What would his father know about that, though? Maybe it was not raised during the interview because it's still only a possibility that hasn't been proven. Once he left the house, Peter Lanza knew only from emails the incidents that happened between Nancy and Adam. It sounds like neither parents knew much about what was going on inside Adam's head, much less about his sexuality.

JayJay wrote:

Hale-Bopp wrote:

What I find a bit strange is, that they never speak about Adams sexuality during the Interview. I mean, it now seems pretty clear, that Adam had homosexual and pedophile interests, which possible did effect his view on himself. And in the case of pedophilia, it could have been a reason for the shooting. Not necessarily in the way, that shooting kids itself was arousing for Adam (although that could be as well possible) but probably more in the way, Dylan was aggressive towards girls: If you are desperately longing for an relationship with someone and you know, or believe to know that you can never have it, affection can easily turn into desperation and hate.

Or maybe something about hating his predilection and wanting to eliminate the cause (kids)?

I had read he may have had a pedophile inclination but not about homosexuality. What would his father know about that, though?

The final reports mentions that Adam engaged in chats about homosexual fantasies, using the name smiggles (That was the point, where we started to find out abut him being on SBB).

JayJay wrote:

Anyone else here is discouraged about psychology and therapy the way I am?

''Paul Appelbaum, a forensic psychiatrist at Columbia, points out that many young men are asocial and unhappy, spend too much time online, become video-game addicts—but cause no harm. The few dangerous ones are impossible to identify. “Even if we knew who they were or were likely to be, whether they’d actually accept treatment is an open question. Among the hardest people to engage in treatment are young males who may be angry, suspicious, and socially isolated. Coming to a therapist’s office for an hour a week just to pour their heart out doesn’t seem like a particularly attractive opportunity, in general.''

Mental health professionals cannot see a homicidal young man even if he was coming at them with a gun. Reminded me of Eric and Dylan's psychologist during the juvenile program.

While I could spend copious amounts of time describing all of the problems that I see in the mental health system, I don't want to kill anyone with boredom. But yes, I find the entire mental health field discouraging. We don't identify people who are in danger of snapping because we don't look for it. You go to the doctor and get a checkup on your body, why not on your mind? We wait until a person is already exhibiting sings of a major problem before we consider that there may be something going on - and even then, we probably blow it off until it escalates.

The other issue would be medication. We throw people on pills like they're going to fix everything. Not to say that there are no benefits to medication, because there sometimes are. But immediately drugging somebody up is not an answer. I could (and would love to) just rant about this for a solid 500 words or so, but I doubt that's necessary. And I have other stuff to do.   

Incredibly well put, Wideawake. I agree wholeheartedly.

Wideawake wrote:

JayJay wrote:

Anyone else here is discouraged about psychology and therapy the way I am?

''Paul Appelbaum, a forensic psychiatrist at Columbia, points out that many young men are asocial and unhappy, spend too much time online, become video-game addicts—but cause no harm. The few dangerous ones are impossible to identify. “Even if we knew who they were or were likely to be, whether they’d actually accept treatment is an open question. Among the hardest people to engage in treatment are young males who may be angry, suspicious, and socially isolated. Coming to a therapist’s office for an hour a week just to pour their heart out doesn’t seem like a particularly attractive opportunity, in general.''

Mental health professionals cannot see a homicidal young man even if he was coming at them with a gun. Reminded me of Eric and Dylan's psychologist during the juvenile program.

While I could spend copious amounts of time describing all of the problems that I see in the mental health system, I don't want to kill anyone with boredom. But yes, I find the entire mental health field discouraging. We don't identify people who are in danger of snapping because we don't look for it. You go to the doctor and get a checkup on your body, why not on your mind? We wait until a person is already exhibiting sings of a major problem before we consider that there may be something going on - and even then, we probably blow it off until it escalates.

The other issue would be medication. We throw people on pills like they're going to fix everything. Not to say that there are no benefits to medication, because there sometimes are. But immediately drugging somebody up is not an answer. I could (and would love to) just rant about this for a solid 500 words or so, but I doubt that's necessary. And I have other stuff to do.   

Well, well, if you ever want to go on a rant about psychiatry/therapy when it comes to mass homicides or the ''treatment'' Eric and Dylan received, go right ahead. I'm gonna be the first one to read it all, whether it's 500 or 5000 words!

For now, I'll just have to agree with you that treatment is sketchy and inefficient, especially if it is composed only of medication with no counselling and even that, has its limits.

Hale-Bopp wrote:

JayJay wrote:

Hale-Bopp wrote:

What I find a bit strange is, that they never speak about Adams sexuality during the Interview. I mean, it now seems pretty clear, that Adam had homosexual and pedophile interests, which possible did effect his view on himself. And in the case of pedophilia, it could have been a reason for the shooting. Not necessarily in the way, that shooting kids itself was arousing for Adam (although that could be as well possible) but probably more in the way, Dylan was aggressive towards girls: If you are desperately longing for an relationship with someone and you know, or believe to know that you can never have it, affection can easily turn into desperation and hate.

Or maybe something about hating his predilection and wanting to eliminate the cause (kids)?

I had read he may have had a pedophile inclination but not about homosexuality. What would his father know about that, though?

The final reports mentions that Adam engaged in chats about homosexual fantasies, using the name smiggles (That was the point, where we started to find out abut him being on SBB).

Ok. I've read only a few of those forum post from SBB by Smiggles. There's quite a bit of information in there and it's lucky we still have those entries. It must be really weird for old timers to think they were in touch with Adam Lanza at some point.

Quote :

Peter declared that he wished Adam had never been born, that there could be no remembering who he was outside of who he became. “That didn’t come right away. That’s not a natural thing, when you’re thinking about your kid. But, God, there’s no question. There can only be one conclusion, when you finally get there. That’s fairly recent, too, but that’s totally where I am.”

This last sentence shocked me.

Really good article.

TheFragile wrote:

Quote :

Peter declared that he wished Adam had never been born, that there could be no remembering who he was outside of who he became. “That didn’t come right away. That’s not a natural thing, when you’re thinking about your kid. But, God, there’s no question. There can only be one conclusion, when you finally get there. That’s fairly recent, too, but that’s totally where I am.”

This last sentence shocked me.

Really good article.

To be honest the first time i read this it also shocked me.

tfsa47090 wrote:

Incredibly well put, Wideawake. I agree wholeheartedly.

Thank you!

JayJay wrote:

Well, well, if you ever want to go on a rant about psychiatry/therapy when it comes to mass homicides or the ''treatment'' Eric and Dylan received, go right ahead. I'm gonna be the first one to read it all, whether it's 500 or 5000 words!

For now, I'll just have to agree with you that treatment is sketchy and inefficient, especially if it is composed only of medication with no counselling and even that, has its limits.

I get frustrated just thinking about it. I think I can sum it up nicely in two words though: fucked up.