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 As 4/20 is approaching, how do you feel?

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VOD101
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PostSubject: As 4/20 is approaching, how do you feel?    As 4/20 is approaching, how do you feel?  Icon_minitimeWed Apr 16, 2014 6:25 pm

Does anybody feel edgy? Or sad, nervous, melancholic? Or on the contrary, you feel fine? I feel a bit nervous and sad and pay attention to the recent shootings/stabbings, so many of them this month. I'm afraid there might be more mayhem on the 19th or 20th like the Boston bombings or other such. It is like a tradition now.

What do you plan on doing on 4/20? Do you want to take a break or read more on Columbine? Do you think you'll be having a thoughts for the victims? Doing something symbolic? Or marking your connection with Eric and Dylan in some way?

I just started reading ''Walking in Daniel's Shoes" by Tom Mauser. I wanted to be reading a Columbine book during this period. I don't plan on doing anything special other than reading, being with family and of course, thinking about the day and the fact that it's the 15th anniversary and there are survivors to this day who are going to be thinking back on it all. Of course, I'll be thinking about Eric and Dylan and the other victims. I would have enjoyed to be in Littleton on May 14th, I heard there were anniversary event but it's too far so, another time.

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PostSubject: Re: As 4/20 is approaching, how do you feel?    As 4/20 is approaching, how do you feel?  Icon_minitimeWed Apr 16, 2014 6:41 pm

I feel melancholic and nostalgic and a bit sad too. I listened to yesterday again the 911 call and heard Valeen's screams in the end made me think about her and all the victims a lot. I wonder how are they now and if they suffer some psychological problem for that reason, even if they seem in this video: [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] fine and ready to move on. They were just innocent people that had to pay society's actions and they didnt deserve it.

For these days, I am planning to spend time with my family and listen to a lot of music, specially stuff like The Smashing Pumpkins or Nine Inch Nails because strangely I am in the mood for that and Eric and Dylan come to my mind a lot with that music. That day, I just will think about them and the victims and hope that nothing like that will happen again because the last rampages worried me very much.

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PostSubject: Re: As 4/20 is approaching, how do you feel?    As 4/20 is approaching, how do you feel?  Icon_minitimeWed Apr 16, 2014 7:05 pm

If my SIL lets me, I'd like to take my niece to the memorial and tell her about it. She's old enough for me to tell her now.
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PostSubject: Re: As 4/20 is approaching, how do you feel?    As 4/20 is approaching, how do you feel?  Icon_minitimeWed Apr 16, 2014 7:21 pm

Yumeko-chan wrote:
If my SIL lets me, I'd like to take my niece to the memorial and tell her about it. She's old enough for me to tell her now.

You will be in mu thoughts too Yumeko-chan and I.think that is really brave what you want to do with your niece. I hope you will be fine that day.

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The most terrifying fact about the universe is not that it is hostile but that it is indifferent; but if we can come to terms with this indifference and accept the challenges of life within the boundaries of death — however mutable man may be able to make them — our existence as a species can have genuine meaning and fulfillment. However vast the darkness, we must supply our own light
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PostSubject: Re: As 4/20 is approaching, how do you feel?    As 4/20 is approaching, how do you feel?  Icon_minitimeWed Apr 16, 2014 8:17 pm

Yumeko-chan wrote:
If my SIL lets me, I'd like to take my niece to the memorial and tell her about it.  She's old enough for me to tell her now.

Truthfully, it took me a few seconds to decipher SIL.

Take care, Yumeko.
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PostSubject: Re: As 4/20 is approaching, how do you feel?    As 4/20 is approaching, how do you feel?  Icon_minitimeWed Apr 16, 2014 9:28 pm

I'm going to finish up No Easy Answers for this week. This month as a whole has a touch of grief to every day. Most of April is an anniversary for a shooting (V tech, columbine), terrorist attack (Oklahoma, Boston), or suicide (Kurt Cobain). I think I'm going to spend my 4/20 writing while listening to NIN and Smashing Pumpkins, I'll watch a few documentaries, something like that.
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PostSubject: Re: As 4/20 is approaching, how do you feel?    As 4/20 is approaching, how do you feel?  Icon_minitimeThu Apr 17, 2014 1:43 am

The 7th Anniversary of Cho's Massacre [April 16 2007] [32 Dead, 17 Injured w/ ~170 shots fired in ~10 minutes] This Event grabbed my attention to Mass Shootings ...

... soon thereafter I began researching the Columbine Massacre [13 Dead, 21 Injured w/ 188 shots fired in ~47 minutes]

July 22 2011 Anders Breivik's Massacre [77 Dead, 319 Injured w/ 257 shots fired in ~1 hour]

Then December 14 2012, Adam Lanza's Massacre [27 Dead, 2 Injured w/ 154 shots fired in ~10 minutes]


And, of course there have been many other mass shootings between 1999-2012 ... but those are the ones that have been quite profound on the world psyche.


And, yes, it a very interesting time of the year ! I feel good & comfortable as the 15th Columbine Anniversary approaches !
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PostSubject: Re: As 4/20 is approaching, how do you feel?    As 4/20 is approaching, how do you feel?  Icon_minitimeFri Apr 18, 2014 6:56 am

Nostalgic but i always am when reading up about columbine, i deeply miss that decade. I will probably try and get some smoke hooked up for 4/20 as it cant be the only day of the year i don't have any =S
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PostSubject: Re: As 4/20 is approaching, how do you feel?    As 4/20 is approaching, how do you feel?  Icon_minitimeSun Apr 20, 2014 1:44 am

As the anniversary is approaching I have been feeling very blue, a bit angry and shed some tears. It's been on my mind much more than usual and I'm constantly being reminded of it and E/D. Columbine instantly affected me and it's cause so much heartache. I cannot even fathom how much worse the heartache is for the families, their friends and students. But I am going to keep myself as busy as possible tomorrow and avoid the kitchen as much as possible!
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PostSubject: Re: As 4/20 is approaching, how do you feel?    As 4/20 is approaching, how do you feel?  Icon_minitimeSun Apr 20, 2014 3:14 am

It's the 20th where I live.
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PostSubject: Re: As 4/20 is approaching, how do you feel?    As 4/20 is approaching, how do you feel?  Icon_minitimeSun Apr 20, 2014 3:53 am

The same here! Its already the 20th.
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PostSubject: Re: As 4/20 is approaching, how do you feel?    As 4/20 is approaching, how do you feel?  Icon_minitimeSun Apr 20, 2014 8:17 am

15 years since Columbine where I live. RIP to all the 15 who died today.  Crying or Very sad 
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PostSubject: Re: As 4/20 is approaching, how do you feel?    As 4/20 is approaching, how do you feel?  Icon_minitimeSun Apr 20, 2014 9:39 am

15 years.
"Say aloud what you believe was the cause of it all. Then realize no matter what you say, that thing has gotten worse."
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PostSubject: Re: As 4/20 is approaching, how do you feel?    As 4/20 is approaching, how do you feel?  Icon_minitimeSun Apr 20, 2014 9:41 am

I always keep my eye on the time on this day. We're a few hours ahead here so I'll be out having a drink with friends by the time 'the hour' arrives.

I will be going for a cigarette at the time it would have been over, drinking a voDKa. Not sure why I always do that as I hate what the boys did.
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PostSubject: Re: As 4/20 is approaching, how do you feel?    As 4/20 is approaching, how do you feel?  Icon_minitimeSun Apr 20, 2014 9:42 am

Lananas - I just saw that on Brooks Brown's twitter.
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PostSubject: Re: As 4/20 is approaching, how do you feel?    As 4/20 is approaching, how do you feel?  Icon_minitimeSun Apr 20, 2014 3:26 pm

Continue resting peacefully to the 15 lives that were lost. Gone to soon but never forgotten!!  Sad 
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PostSubject: Re: As 4/20 is approaching, how do you feel?    As 4/20 is approaching, how do you feel?  Icon_minitimeSun Apr 20, 2014 5:40 pm

It's odd as I relaized it was 4/20, it was about 11:15 or so, around the time the massacre began. A very sad day. RIP to all the victims Sad
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PostSubject: Re: As 4/20 is approaching, how do you feel?    As 4/20 is approaching, how do you feel?  Icon_minitimeMon Apr 21, 2014 3:49 am

I wish some peace of mind and of heart to all survivors. Can't imagine what it's like to have to go through this every year.

The worst details about this usually does not stop me from reading more but, yesterday I was feeling sick to my stomach all day, and it was not the chocolate.

May all the victims also rest in peace.

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"Is evil something you are? Or is it something you do? My pain is constant and sharp and I do not hope for a better world for anyone. In fact, I want my pain to be inflicted on others. I want no one to escape."
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PostSubject: Re: As 4/20 is approaching, how do you feel?    As 4/20 is approaching, how do you feel?  Icon_minitimeSun Apr 27, 2014 5:40 am

If you've never been to the Columbine memorial you should check it out, its a great place and you can see the school from the top of Rebel Hill.
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