The one thing the Harrises ever said publicly about Columbine

Some years ago, this entry was posted online with some pictures of Kevin's wedding:

The KC-135 at Fairchild AFB was my first duty assignment.  We spent five years in Spokane, a third of the time on alert.  Our first son, Kevin was born there.  Shortly after Mount St Helens blew her top, we headed for Wichita where I flew as a –135 functional check pilot at the Boeing plant.  Three years there gave me time to get my Master’s degree and complete a couple of service schools.  We also had our second son there, Eric, who later died at Columbine.  Then, it was on to the 4950th Test Wing at Wright-Patterson.  I flew as a research pilot on the ARIA and other –135s and 707s there for another three years.  After that, we stayed at Wright-Pat for three more years in the “career-broadening” B-1B Systems Program Office.  Getting back in the cockpit, I took a northern tier assignment to Wurtsmith thinking that would be our last base.  The BRAC changed our plans and we went to Plattsburgh, for another BRAC, and our 20th and final year.

We returned to Denver after retiring from the AF in 1993 where I now work for [company].  I still train tanker crews as well as C-5 crews by developing computer-based training lessons.  I even got to fly the corporate King Air for the few years we had it.

The tragedy of Columbine has consumed our lives for the last several years, but we are recovering and moving on with our lives.  After Kevin graduated from college, he joined the Army where he received his Master’s degree in physical therapy.  He and Kendra were married last year and we are lucky and glad to have her in our family.

We’re looking forward to a good time in Daytona Beach!

They make it sound like he was a victim there. Well I guess he was a victim of his own hands, but whatever helps them heal I suppose.

FlyerFan wrote:

They make it sound like he was a victim there. Well I guess he was a victim of his own hands, but whatever helps them heal I suppose.

In another thread, someone was saying that the fact that they've never spoken publicly proves that they believe their son was a horrible monster. I don't think for one minute that that's how they feel.

I agree, LPorter.

I think their silence has more to do with them being introverted and the justified fear of further ridicule. Even Tom Klebold only seems to speak because Sue, who seems more extroverted, has done so, thereby involving him - and Tom referred to Dylan as his best friend. It actually seems much more likely, to me, that they would speak out if they were truly in agreement with his "diagnosis" as a psychopath because it would sort of alleviate them of some responsibility.

LPorter101 wrote:

FlyerFan wrote:

They make it sound like he was a victim there. Well I guess he was a victim of his own hands, but whatever helps them heal I suppose.

In another thread, someone was saying that the fact that they've never spoken publicly proves that they believe their son was a horrible monster. I don't think for one minute that that's how they feel.

As the person that LPorter may be referring to, I don't think anything is proven of course, but my own opinion, respectfully submitted here, and elsewhere, is that the Harrises just want to be done with Columbine, and their connection with their son, and want to move on and not discuss the incident ad nauseum as we, and others, have been doing for a long time.

ThoughtBox wrote:

LPorter101 wrote:

FlyerFan wrote:

They make it sound like he was a victim there. Well I guess he was a victim of his own hands, but whatever helps them heal I suppose.

In another thread, someone was saying that the fact that they've never spoken publicly proves that they believe their son was a horrible monster. I don't think for one minute that that's how they feel.

As the person that LPorter may be referring to, I don't think anything is proven of course, but my own opinion, respectfully submitted here, and elsewhere, is that the Harrises just want to be done with Columbine, and their connection with their son, and want to move on and not discuss the incident ad nauseum as we, and others, have been doing for a long time.

It wasn't you.

Someone wrote:

It's pretty easy to figure out what the Harris's think or thought about their son. If they don't come out and defend him, then he was insane way before Dylan. Staying quiet especially after this would tell me all I need to know.

Someone wrote:

A lot of people who came in contact with Dylan said he came off as a shy follower. It's not an assumption, it's facts. We will never know who kick started everything but going off all the shit we have, it's reasonable to assume Eric kick started everything and if the Harris's still don't come out, it only strengthens the stance Eric was a complete insane psycho.

My mother and father would come to my defense in a heartbeat and not just put up with lie after lie, unless of course those so called lies were actual facts. Then there wouldn't be anything to defend.

Someone wrote:

It doesn't even have to be the media, just have somebody speak on their behalf to either confirm or deny everything that has been said about their son.

We don't live forever, soon they'll both be gone (hopefully not too soon) and we'll be left with the same thing we have now, nothing.

LPorter101 wrote:

FlyerFan wrote:

They make it sound like he was a victim there. Well I guess he was a victim of his own hands, but whatever helps them heal I suppose.

In another thread, someone was saying that the fact that they've never spoken publicly proves that they believe their son was a horrible monster. I don't think for one minute that that's how they feel.

When they met with the Mausers they confirmed that they had accepted that their son was probably a sociopath. I don't believe they think he was a monster, but how do you get over something like that? Knowing your child had such hate and rage inside of them and not only to lose him but to have to live with what he did to all those other people as well.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.],
This is the 3rd or 4th time I've said this over the last few days but I must say it again.
We have no proof at all that the Harrises ' think that their son was a psychopath. All we have is a second hand impression from Mr.Mauser that they SEEMED  to. That could mean that the Mausers said they believed that about Eric and Eric's parents didn't feel it was the kind of situation in which they should disagree. As LPorter pointed out Wayne told author Wally Lamb that he didn't have any answers.
To me, that's a lot more evidence that they don't accept he's a psychopath than they do.

No one knows for sure what Eric's parents think/feel because they've never spoke publicly about it and they even said that they probably never will speak publicly because they don't think they can handle it. They did not say 'We're not speaking publicly because we've come to accept our son is a psychopath'. So personally, I think it's a bit dramatic to assume they are not speaking because they have just written Eric off as a psychopath.

However, I do feel that Eric's parents (Wayne, in particular) do want to try and move on with their lives without constantly having to be reminded of what Eric did. Not that Wayne has completely forgotten about Eric, per se, but that he wants to just leave it. I think that's why he takes such pride in Kevin. He's focused all his attention on Kevin and how his life turned out instead of dwelling on how Eric's didn't. And can you blame him?

I realize that this was their children that committed the massacre and that the parents may have overlooked things that could have prevented it but their parents are not them. Their parents did not kill 13 people. Dylan and Eric did. And the parents are not the only ones who overlooked things. The police did, Eric's therapist did, their friends did, teachers at the school did. Any one of them could have tried to put a stop to it if they dug deeper, but Dylan and Eric were very good at hiding what they were thinking and what they were doing.

And remember they were both good students who were about to graduate high school and put on an act that they were happy to be preparing for their futures. There was no signs they were doing anything wrong. It's not like Kip Kinkel, where his parents gave him guns and he had severe mental and behavior problems for months/years before going on a shooting spree. Outward, Dylan and Eric were good kids who fooled everyone (not just their parents).

Jenn is right. How could anyone know what the Harrises feel?

I agree that nobody can know for sure what Eric's parents think and feel, but I do believe there  is not a day that goes by that they don't think of Eric. And I believe there hasn't been a day since 4/20/99 that they have not thought of him. I base this on the fact that he is their child and they raised him for 18 years and nothing will ever change that. And I guess I also base this on myself. If I had a child and they died, no matter what the circumstances, I don't think that I could not think about them every day, even if I didn't want to.
I think that is a very human reaction. I do think they want to move on from Columbine and not have their lives torn apart each day like they obviously were for years after the shooting but I doubt they will ever "move on" from Eric emotionally. At least not fully.
I fully admit that I could be wrong as I don't know them and therefore this is speculation on my part  too but this is what I believe.

PaintItBlack wrote:

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.],
This is the 3rd or 4th time I've said this over the last few days but I must say it again.
We have no proof at all that the Harrises ' think that their son was a psychopath. All we have is a second hand impression from Mr.Mauser that they SEEMED  to. That could mean that the Mausers said they believed that about Eric and Eric's parents didn't feel it was the kind of situation in which they should disagree. As LPorter pointed out Wayne told author Wally Lamb that he didn't have any answers.
To me, that's a lot more evidence that they don't accept he's a psychopath than they do.

I honestly cannot even imagine what they must think of their son. How horrible they must feel that they created someone who could do such horrible things. There is no way we will ever know what was actually wrong with him, and they too must think about that daily. What was wrong with him? Did we cause it? Could we have stopped it? But maybe they just choose not to think about those questions because it makes their lives a little bit easier to live.

At the end of the day, the Harris family have spoken with the authorities and the victims families (whether they accept that or not.)
They have made peace, in some way or the other with the people who deserve and need their words.
They don't owe the media or us anything. Their choice to stay silent does not prove anything.

That's not to say I don't think they could shed a lot of light onto Columbine, but I can understand why they haven't publicly.

And yes, maybe it does sound like Eric was the victim and not the perpetrator, but is it necessary for them to mention their son was a murder every time he's bought up. They have a life outside of Columbine, they are their own people.

Like, on Kevin's wedding day if Eric was mentioned "I wish my little brother were here too." it'd be inappropriate to preface it with "if he hadn't have murdered children in cold blood and was was psychopath…"

I think people are expecting the Harris family to just  stop living or something because of what Eric did and that's not fair.  They didn't plan the attack.  They didn't kill anyone.  So regardless of whether they feel their son was a victim or not, they deserve to be left alone and move on with their lives.  I won't lie....I wish they would speak out and say something.....but I can understand them not wanting to.  

I will say that from a parent's perspective, I am sure they still love their son dearly whether he was a psychopath or not.

So they retired to FL?

Also I find it sad that almost 20 years after this incident people would ridicule the parents of E/D other than families of the victims. I bet Sue has received death threats after releasing her book from people that had zero connection to Columbine or even care other than craving attention.

Jbow89 wrote:

So they retired to FL?

Also I find it sad that almost 20 years after this incident people would ridicule the parents of E/D other than families of the victims. I bet Sue has received death threats after releasing her book from people that had zero connection to Columbine or even care other than craving attention.

I believe they are still in metro Denver if not Littleton. Wayne was still working for the company he was with in '99 just a few years ago.

Both Sue Klebold and Wayne Harris still live close by each other in Colorado.