Video of Dylan doing Drama.

I found this rare video of Dylan in a Drama class (I would presume it was the school's although I'm not sure).

it is from this: [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]
I saw it on TV when it first aired in 2007, before it was on the internet. That scene of him walking across the stage is really powerful, you can see how angry he gets at that kid for using that feather duster on him.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] was he playing a character in this clip or was this just him getting pissed at that kid?

Dylan didn't play at the drama club, he just helped with light, sound and etc.
This guy just like to use his feather duster to impress the girl. I see that she is laughing.
I think Dylan said something back, but I'm not sure. But obvious he is so angry.

TaylorsMom wrote:

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] was he playing a character in this clip or was this just him getting pissed at that kid?

I have often wondered that as well.  Was Dylan playing around or was he genuinely PISSED that kid had dared to touch his beloved trench coat? Also if it was done in a playful manner on the other guy's part or if he did it just to be an ass?

BUT without sound it is hard to really say what actually happened. Either it was a playful gesture and Dylan pretended to be mad, or it was a mean gesture and Dylan was really mad, OR any combination of those scenarios.  Just another Columbine mystery.

I feel like he was probably mad for real.

My reasons are.. because he’s very shy And I don’t really think he liked to joke around with people that don’t know him.and also looks like he was really trying to work hard and do his job, not goof off . He didn’t seem to know this kid I don’t think that he would’ve thought it was a joke.

Also the way he storms off stage. It looks like he really stared that guy down then walked away.

I think it would be pretty weird if Dylan did do drama since that would be another thing we both have in common.

He was writing a play with Brooks, Zack and and a few other guys.

I believe he was also an assistant director on a couple shows. However those are never listed

ShadowedGoddess wrote:

Just another Columbine mystery.

A really minor one though. I don't think solving that one would help us very much.

It looks like he was really mad, it was only few months before the massacre and he was in that state of mind where he didn't care anymore, and felt as though he was above other people at that point and judging by his body language it looked like he was like "who do you think you are to do this to me?" and pissed off that even with his coat on people don't deem him as a threat and think that they can get away with screwing around with him like that. I think it is Judy filming and Brooks talking to the teacher on the side and Randy holding a light, I assume his parents were helping out with the set up, and Dylan had finished the lighting and was just leaving to his car.

I think this is like how he was described being at a McDonald's and he thought that others were laughing at him even though Sue didn't think the kids were even paying attention to him at all. Even if the other person isn't doing anything, or is just joking around, he feels as if he is being made fun of so he puts on a mean face or gets mad without question as a defense.

cultofdreams wrote:

I think this is like how he was described being at a McDonald's and he thought that others were laughing at him even though Sue didn't think the kids were even paying attention to him at all. Even if the other person isn't doing anything, or is just joking around, he feels as if he is being made fun of so he puts on a mean face or gets mad without question as a defense.

sounds quite paranoid to me

Not necessarily. I was the same way in HS. After being bullied and feeling so isolated you can read into situations and get nervous or upset. I think Sue talks about that a bit.

Honestly, too, if you don’t know a person, keep your hands off of them.

QuestionMark wrote:

ShadowedGoddess wrote:

Just another Columbine mystery.

A really minor one though. I don't think solving that one would help us very much.

Agreed. Its just one of those little nit-picky things that surrounds Columbine. Like people trying to figure out if Dylan did or didn't eat fries or a baked potato, or if they did or didn't go to Outback the night before.

Sometimes the smallest details are the ones that are the most debated.

ShadowedGoddess wrote:

QuestionMark wrote:

ShadowedGoddess wrote:

Just another Columbine mystery.

A really minor one though. I don't think solving that one would help us very much.

Agreed. Its just one of those little nit-picky things that surrounds Columbine. Like people trying to figure out if Dylan did or didn't eat fries or a baked potato, or if they did or didn't go to Outback the night before.

Sometimes the smallest details are the ones that are the most debated.

At the very least debaters can agree that there were potatoes in his stomach. The debate is WHERE they came from.

We need the depositions soon...

Screamingophelia wrote:

ShadowedGoddess wrote:

QuestionMark wrote:

ShadowedGoddess wrote:

Just another Columbine mystery.

A really minor one though. I don't think solving that one would help us very much.

Agreed. Its just one of those little nit-picky things that surrounds Columbine. Like people trying to figure out if Dylan did or didn't eat fries or a baked potato, or if they did or didn't go to Outback the night before.

Sometimes the smallest details are the ones that are the most debated.

At the very least debaters can agree that there were potatoes in his stomach. The debate is WHERE they came from.

We need the depositions soon...

ONLY a few more years to wait!

Jea wrote:

cultofdreams wrote:

I think this is like how he was described being at a McDonald's and he thought that others were laughing at him even though Sue didn't think the kids were even paying attention to him at all. Even if the other person isn't doing anything, or is just joking around, he feels as if he is being made fun of so he puts on a mean face or gets mad without question as a defense.

sounds quite paranoid to me

No it's not being paranoid. It's the reaction of someone who has been subjected to severe bullying and who has low self esteem and who feels extremely self-conscious of themselves. I know because I'm the exact same way. I can be in a public place where other, young people my age are and if I see them start to laugh while they're near me, they couldn't be laughing about me or because they're saying something bad about me but I'll think that they are because I prone to thinking that, that's what people do whenever they see me or are near me, they laugh after making ridiculing jokes about me or after they make mean comments about me.

Those are the after effects of low self esteem and severe bullying. It has nothing to do with being paranoid. Dylan seemed to be someone with low self esteem and he definitely endured severe bullying and wasn't it a few months or a month before the shooting that he and Eric were doused with ketchup covered tampons in front of everyone in the commons and were then called pussies? If that incident occurred before this one did, and Dylan said that was one of the worst days of his life, then Dylan was already on edge and suffering the effects from that, so despite the kid with the feather only "joking", Dylan didn't find it funny. In fact, I wouldn't either. If the kid didn't know Dylan, why joke like that? If that kid had did that to a one of those guys with a quick, fiery temper with the probability to snap on a dime, that quick fiery tempered guy would have walked back to that kid with the feather and knocked the shit out of him. So that kid with the feather got off lucky that Dylan didn't walk back there to him and knock the shit out of him....

42099_4EVA wrote:

Jea wrote:

cultofdreams wrote:

I think this is like how he was described being at a McDonald's and he thought that others were laughing at him even though Sue didn't think the kids were even paying attention to him at all. Even if the other person isn't doing anything, or is just joking around, he feels as if he is being made fun of so he puts on a mean face or gets mad without question as a defense.

sounds quite paranoid to me

No it's not being paranoid. It's the reaction of someone who has been subjected to severe bullying and who has low self esteem and who feels extremely self-conscious of themselves. I know because I'm the exact same way. I can be in a public place where other, young people my age are and if I see them start to laugh while they're near me, they couldn't be laughing about me or because they're saying something bad about me but I'll think that they are because I prone to thinking that, that's what people do whenever they see me or are near me, they laugh after making ridiculing jokes about me or after they make mean comments about me.

Those are the after effects of low self esteem and severe bullying. It has nothing to do with being paranoid. Dylan seemed to be someone with low self esteem and he definitely endured severe bullying and wasn't it a few months or a month before the shooting that he and Eric were doused with ketchup covered tampons in front of everyone in the commons and were then called pussies? If that incident occurred before this one did, and Dylan said that was one of the worst days of his life, then Dylan was already on edge and suffering the effects from that, so despite the kid with the feather only "joking", Dylan didn't find it funny. In fact, I wouldn't either. If the kid didn't know Dylan, why joke like that? If that kid had did that to a one of those guys with a quick, fiery temper with the probability to snap on a dime, that quick fiery tempered guy would have walked back to that kid with the feather and knocked the shit out of him. So that kid with the feather got off lucky that Dylan didn't walk back there to him and knock the shit out of him....

I completely agree. I went through such severe bullying in HS that even today if someone laughs at me and I'm not sure why, I get really on edge. I wonder what was so funny, do I have something on my face, explain to me why you are laughing?? I get nervous for a split second. It has long lasting effects.

Screamingophelia wrote:

42099_4EVA wrote:

Jea wrote:

cultofdreams wrote:

I think this is like how he was described being at a McDonald's and he thought that others were laughing at him even though Sue didn't think the kids were even paying attention to him at all. Even if the other person isn't doing anything, or is just joking around, he feels as if he is being made fun of so he puts on a mean face or gets mad without question as a defense.

sounds quite paranoid to me

No it's not being paranoid. It's the reaction of someone who has been subjected to severe bullying and who has low self esteem and who feels extremely self-conscious of themselves. I know because I'm the exact same way. I can be in a public place where other, young people my age are and if I see them start to laugh while they're near me, they couldn't be laughing about me or because they're saying something bad about me but I'll think that they are because I prone to thinking that, that's what people do whenever they see me or are near me, they laugh after making ridiculing jokes about me or after they make mean comments about me.

Those are the after effects of low self esteem and severe bullying. It has nothing to do with being paranoid. Dylan seemed to be someone with low self esteem and he definitely endured severe bullying and wasn't it a few months or a month before the shooting that he and Eric were doused with ketchup covered tampons in front of everyone in the commons and were then called pussies? If that incident occurred before this one did, and Dylan said that was one of the worst days of his life, then Dylan was already on edge and suffering the effects from that, so despite the kid with the feather only "joking", Dylan didn't find it funny. In fact, I wouldn't either. If the kid didn't know Dylan, why joke like that? If that kid had did that to a one of those guys with a quick, fiery temper with the probability to snap on a dime, that quick fiery tempered guy would have walked back to that kid with the feather and knocked the shit out of him. So that kid with the feather got off lucky that Dylan didn't walk back there to him and knock the shit out of him....

I completely agree. I went through such severe bullying in HS that even today if someone laughs at me and I'm not sure why, I get really on edge. I wonder what was so funny, do I have something on my face, explain to me why you are laughing?? I get nervous for a split second. It has long lasting effects.

Exactly, thank you.

Well, girls, I have a problem with my self esteem all my life, and if someone staring at me, I feel like it's something wrong with me and I have annoying paranoid thoughts and obsessive moves. It's okay that we see things from different perspective.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

You guys ever tried doing something about that low self-esteem? I mean I get what you are talking about, cause I've been there too so I can relate, although it probably was not that bad with me, I would just get little bit defensive or just ignore it. Nowadays I just try not to give a damn anymore. I aslo really didnt like talking to people I did not know, so far a as to not going to buy stuff to shops I did not know just because I thought I would be akward. But I have actually overcomed it, so I wonder if you ever tried doing somethinng about it?

Klicky wrote:

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

You guys ever tried doing something about that low self-esteem? I mean I get what you are talking about, cause I've been there too so I can relate, although it probably was not that bad with me, I would just get little bit defensive or just ignore it. Nowadays I just try not to give a damn anymore. I aslo really didnt like talking to people I did not know, so far a as to not going to buy stuff to shops I did not know just because I thought I would be akward. But I have actually overcomed it, so I wonder if you ever tried doing something about it?

Well...I don't want to be on meds because I'm not crazy, I tried making friends with people but they don't want to be friends with me because they all call me old fashioned and they get weirded off by me being too nice, like I should be a bitch instead of being nice....wth?? So I just live with it and wait (anxiously) until the night when I go to sleep and don't wake up or for the day when my low self esteem and depression gets so bad one day that I finally get the courage to end myself and go to another dimension. That's pretty much how I handle it because what else can I do? I suffered four long years of severe high school bullying and before that, I suffered for years with being strongly disliked and hated by family members because I was a child who was born a bastard (not in the hateful insult type of way, I mean literally a bastard, my dad up and left) and then after high school, I'm still highly ignored, treated like shit and isolated by everyone I meet, so there's the causes for my self esteem and severe depression. So I'm kind of a mix between Dylan, with the low self esteem and depression and Eric, with me being filled with anger about people being the cause of my self esteem and depression and me wanting to just end everyone but I don't, because there are cops and I wouldn't last a day in prison and I wouldn't have the bravery to just off myself the way Eric and Dylan did. So....there's your answer on that.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]
I know I'm just a stranger, but maybe you should try some meds? Because I was very skeptical about it too, but now I see positive results. I feel myself much better now.

42099_4EVA wrote:

Klicky wrote:

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

You guys ever tried doing something about that low self-esteem? I mean I get what you are talking about, cause I've been there too so I can relate, although it probably was not that bad with me, I would just get little bit defensive or just ignore it. Nowadays I just try not to give a damn anymore. I aslo really didnt like talking to people I did not know, so far a as to not going to buy stuff to shops I did not know just because I thought I would be akward. But I have actually overcomed it, so I wonder if you ever tried doing something about it?

Well...I don't want to be on meds because I'm not crazy, I tried making friends with people but they don't want to be friends with me because they all call me old fashioned and they get weirded off by me being too nice, like I should be a bitch instead of being nice....wth?? So I just live with it and wait (anxiously) until the night when I go to sleep and don't wake up or for the day when my low self esteem and depression gets so bad one day that I finally get the courage to end myself and go to another dimension. That's pretty much how I handle it because what else can I do? I suffered four long years of severe high school bullying and before that, I suffered for years with being strongly disliked and hated by family members because I was a child who was born a bastard (not in the hateful insult type of way, I mean literally a bastard, my dad up and left) and then after high school, I'm still highly ignored, treated like shit and isolated by everyone I meet, so there's the causes for my self esteem and severe depression. So I'm kind of a mix between Dylan, with the low self esteem and depression and Eric, with me being filled with anger about people being the cause of my self esteem and depression and me wanting to just end everyone but I don't, because there are cops and I wouldn't last a day in prison and I wouldn't have the bravery to just off myself the way Eric and Dylan did. So....there's your answer on that.

For me. I tried to “fake it until I make it” but I spent a long time feeling very different and disconnected from people. Even though on the outside I seem painfully “normal”

I’ve gotten myself out of the toxic situations I was in and am seeing a therapist that I can connect with. So that helps.

Jea wrote:

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]
I know I'm just a stranger, but maybe you should try some meds? Because I was very skeptical about it too, but now I see positive results. I feel myself much better now.

No meds are nothing more than MK Ultra SSRI kill drugs, I saw what it did to former friends of mine, so no

42099_4EVA wrote:

Well...I don't want to be on meds because I'm not crazy, I tried making friends with people but they don't want to be friends with me because they all call me old fashioned and they get weirded off by me being too nice, like I should be a bitch instead of being nice....wth?? So I just live with it and wait (anxiously) until the night when I go to sleep and don't wake up or for the day when my low self esteem and depression gets so bad one day that I finally get the courage to end myself and go to another dimension. That's pretty much how I handle it because what else can I do? I suffered four long years of severe high school bullying and before that, I suffered for years with being strongly disliked and hated by family members because I was a child who was born a bastard (not in the hateful insult type of way, I mean literally a bastard, my dad up and left) and then after high school, I'm still highly ignored, treated like shit and isolated by everyone I meet, so there's the causes for my self esteem and severe depression. So I'm kind of a mix between Dylan, with the low self esteem and depression and Eric, with me being filled with anger about people being the cause of my self esteem and depression and me wanting to just end everyone but I don't, because there are cops and I wouldn't last a day in prison and I wouldn't have the bravery to just off myself the way Eric and Dylan did. So....there's your answer on that.

Well yea but you can still work on that, people are going to be dicks to you no matter who you are, sure if person is considered awkward by majority, you look different, act different have low self esteem they are going to pick on you more, but I guarantee you even if you are the most likeable person, with great personality and all some people are going to dislike you and be dicks to you too. Just don't let it get to you.

My granddad was born a bastard, he never go to know his father, I was born out of wedlock so was my daughter so what, who cares this does not determine what type of person you are and definitely should not determine your self worth. If some people dislike you for a thing which you have no power to influence, fuck them, they are not worth your time.

I am just a dude on the internet but maybe you should try to see therapist or whatever, especially if you feel like ending yourself not to mention someone else.

42099_4EVA wrote:

Jea wrote:

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]
I know I'm just a stranger, but maybe you should try some meds? Because I was very skeptical about it too, but now I see positive results. I feel myself much better now.

No meds are nothing more than MK Ultra SSRI kill drugs, I saw what it did to former friends of mine, so no

well, it's up to you, I just saying i see positive result in my case, still far away from perfect condition, still have suicidal thoughts time to time, but at least I can sleep and eat normally now.

Jea wrote:

42099_4EVA wrote:

Jea wrote:

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]
I know I'm just a stranger, but maybe you should try some meds? Because I was very skeptical about it too, but now I see positive results. I feel myself much better now.

No meds are nothing more than MK Ultra SSRI kill drugs, I saw what it did to former friends of mine, so no

well, it's up to you, I just saying i see positive result in my case, still far away from perfect condition, still have suicidal thoughts time to time, but at least I can sleep and eat normally now.

I agree with Jea, sure medication can have various effect on people, it may not help you but I think it is worth giving a shot, you can always stop taking it. I also had some experience with people who were taking meds and in their case it helped. I used to date a girl who suffered from schizophrenia as result she had hard social anxiety in crowded places and was paranoid (everyone is watching me, judging me, my medication can not help me since my doctor does not know how I feel etc. - not to mention this argument is about as stupid as person with cancer claiming a doctor can not help him because he himself does not have a cancer). And so she was trapped in this circle where she would not take her medication because she was paranoid, but not taking her medication would make her paranoid and so she tried to solve it by alcohol. Later on she started taking medication, stopped drinking and now is leading a happy life with some other dude and a son. I am not saying that this is always the case but there are instances when medication can help a lot.

Screamingophelia wrote:

For me. I tried to “fake it until I make it” but I spent a long time feeling very different and disconnected from people. Even though on the outside I seem painfully “normal”

I’ve gotten myself out of the toxic situations I was in and am seeing a therapist that I can connect with. So that helps.  

Great to hear you are making progress.

You have to fake it in the beginning if you have low self-esteem that thing is not going to change over night.

I did it the same, but once you manage to increase it, it can make wonders I still don't have confidence like some uber confident people but I can already project my self-esteem on others, it makes everything much easier, people treat you differently. I also try to put myself in uncomfortable situations as much as possible just to keep making progress.

I don't know I m not sure if I really felt different when I was faking self-esteem, maybe little bit in the beginning but in my case this feeling has gone pretty fast.

Klicky wrote:

Screamingophelia wrote:

For me. I tried to “fake it until I make it” but I spent a long time feeling very different and disconnected from people. Even though on the outside I seem painfully “normal”

I’ve gotten myself out of the toxic situations I was in and am seeing a therapist that I can connect with. So that helps.  

Great to hear you are making progress.

You have to fake it in the beginning if you have low self-esteem that thing is not going to change over night.

I did it the same, but once you manage to increase it, it can make wonders I still don't have confidence like some uber confident people but I can already project my self-esteem on others, it makes everything much easier, people treat you differently. I also try to put myself in uncomfortable situations as much as possible just to keep making progress.

I don't know I m not sure if I really felt different when I was faking self-esteem, maybe little bit in the beginning but in my case this feeling has gone pretty fast.

My biggest issue is that I hate the way I look. I have invisalign and an odd nose, though most people don't notice and I'm told how pretty I am a bunch, but then someone will call me atrociously ugly... and I don't photograph well LOL. So I'm trying to either feel confident in my looks or save for a nose job.

I'm finding the issues go a lot deeper than just hating my nose, so I'm hoping once I deal with those, everything else will fall into place.

Screamingophelia wrote:

Klicky wrote:

Screamingophelia wrote:

For me. I tried to “fake it until I make it” but I spent a long time feeling very different and disconnected from people. Even though on the outside I seem painfully “normal”

I’ve gotten myself out of the toxic situations I was in and am seeing a therapist that I can connect with. So that helps.  

Great to hear you are making progress.

You have to fake it in the beginning if you have low self-esteem that thing is not going to change over night.

I did it the same, but once you manage to increase it, it can make wonders I still don't have confidence like some uber confident people but I can already project my self-esteem on others, it makes everything much easier, people treat you differently. I also try to put myself in uncomfortable situations as much as possible just to keep making progress.

I don't know I m not sure if I really felt different when I was faking self-esteem, maybe little bit in the beginning but in my case this feeling has gone pretty fast.

My biggest issue is that I hate the way I look. I have invisalign and an odd nose, though most people don't notice and I'm told how pretty I am a bunch, but then someone will call me atrociously ugly... and I don't photograph well LOL. So I'm trying to either feel confident in my looks or save for a nose job.

I'm finding the issues go a lot deeper than just hating my nose, so I'm hoping once I deal with those, everything else will fall into place.

Ok girl give me the name of someone that has called you atrociously ugly!  I will pay them a visit and give them a strong talking to, followed by a swift throat punch for being an ass!

ShadowedGoddess wrote:

Screamingophelia wrote:

Klicky wrote:

Screamingophelia wrote:

For me. I tried to “fake it until I make it” but I spent a long time feeling very different and disconnected from people. Even though on the outside I seem painfully “normal”

I’ve gotten myself out of the toxic situations I was in and am seeing a therapist that I can connect with. So that helps.  

Great to hear you are making progress.

You have to fake it in the beginning if you have low self-esteem that thing is not going to change over night.

I did it the same, but once you manage to increase it, it can make wonders I still don't have confidence like some uber confident people but I can already project my self-esteem on others, it makes everything much easier, people treat you differently. I also try to put myself in uncomfortable situations as much as possible just to keep making progress.

I don't know I m not sure if I really felt different when I was faking self-esteem, maybe little bit in the beginning but in my case this feeling has gone pretty fast.

My biggest issue is that I hate the way I look. I have invisalign and an odd nose, though most people don't notice and I'm told how pretty I am a bunch, but then someone will call me atrociously ugly... and I don't photograph well LOL. So I'm trying to either feel confident in my looks or save for a nose job.

I'm finding the issues go a lot deeper than just hating my nose, so I'm hoping once I deal with those, everything else will fall into place.

Ok girl give me the name of someone that has called you atrociously ugly!  I will pay them a visit and give them a strong talking to, followed by a swift throat punch for being an ass!

Thank you!! ;) It was woman on the subway, whom I might add did NOT look like Cindy Crawford by a long shot.

Screamingophelia wrote:

ShadowedGoddess wrote:

Screamingophelia wrote:

Klicky wrote:

Screamingophelia wrote:

For me. I tried to “fake it until I make it” but I spent a long time feeling very different and disconnected from people. Even though on the outside I seem painfully “normal”

I’ve gotten myself out of the toxic situations I was in and am seeing a therapist that I can connect with. So that helps.  

Great to hear you are making progress.

You have to fake it in the beginning if you have low self-esteem that thing is not going to change over night.

I did it the same, but once you manage to increase it, it can make wonders I still don't have confidence like some uber confident people but I can already project my self-esteem on others, it makes everything much easier, people treat you differently. I also try to put myself in uncomfortable situations as much as possible just to keep making progress.

I don't know I m not sure if I really felt different when I was faking self-esteem, maybe little bit in the beginning but in my case this feeling has gone pretty fast.

My biggest issue is that I hate the way I look. I have invisalign and an odd nose, though most people don't notice and I'm told how pretty I am a bunch, but then someone will call me atrociously ugly... and I don't photograph well LOL. So I'm trying to either feel confident in my looks or save for a nose job.

I'm finding the issues go a lot deeper than just hating my nose, so I'm hoping once I deal with those, everything else will fall into place.

Ok girl give me the name of someone that has called you atrociously ugly!  I will pay them a visit and give them a strong talking to, followed by a swift throat punch for being an ass!

Thank you!! ;) It was woman on the subway, whom I might add did NOT look like Cindy Crawford by a long shot.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] Why would a random stranger say you were ugly? That's rude and mean AF!  I hope you told her to check the nearest reflective surface.  People are just so damn cruel to everyone these days. It's like no one bothered to teach them normal behavior, respect, and how not to be an ass.

I'm am SO glad that I was raised to have manners, but also taught to stand up for myself and take no shit!   

I am sweet as sugar for the most part, but the ruthless bitch in me is just below the surface. I don't do the whole catty girl thing well. Mostly because I go to hard and people get their feelings hurt.  I have always made it well known to other females that they don't wanna bring that side of me out because I could out bitch them any day of the week and twice on Sundays!  

But seriously I hope you told her that she looked like she had fallen from the top of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.

ShadowedGoddess wrote:

Screamingophelia wrote:

ShadowedGoddess wrote:

Screamingophelia wrote:

Klicky wrote:

Screamingophelia wrote:

For me. I tried to “fake it until I make it” but I spent a long time feeling very different and disconnected from people. Even though on the outside I seem painfully “normal”

I’ve gotten myself out of the toxic situations I was in and am seeing a therapist that I can connect with. So that helps.  

Great to hear you are making progress.

You have to fake it in the beginning if you have low self-esteem that thing is not going to change over night.

I did it the same, but once you manage to increase it, it can make wonders I still don't have confidence like some uber confident people but I can already project my self-esteem on others, it makes everything much easier, people treat you differently. I also try to put myself in uncomfortable situations as much as possible just to keep making progress.

I don't know I m not sure if I really felt different when I was faking self-esteem, maybe little bit in the beginning but in my case this feeling has gone pretty fast.

My biggest issue is that I hate the way I look. I have invisalign and an odd nose, though most people don't notice and I'm told how pretty I am a bunch, but then someone will call me atrociously ugly... and I don't photograph well LOL. So I'm trying to either feel confident in my looks or save for a nose job.

I'm finding the issues go a lot deeper than just hating my nose, so I'm hoping once I deal with those, everything else will fall into place.

Ok girl give me the name of someone that has called you atrociously ugly!  I will pay them a visit and give them a strong talking to, followed by a swift throat punch for being an ass!

Thank you!! ;) It was woman on the subway, whom I might add did NOT look like Cindy Crawford by a long shot.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] Why would a random stranger say you were ugly? That's rude and mean AF!  I hope you told her to check the nearest reflective surface.  People are just so damn cruel to everyone these days. It's like no one bothered to teach them normal behavior, respect, and how not to be an ass.

I'm am SO glad that I was raised to have manners, but also taught to stand up for myself and take no shit!   

I am sweet as sugar for the most part, but the ruthless bitch in me is just below the surface. I don't do the whole catty girl thing well. Mostly because I go to hard and people get their feelings hurt.  I have always made it well known to other females that they don't wanna bring that side of me out because I could out bitch them any day of the week and twice on Sundays!  

But seriously I hope you told her that she looked like she had fallen from the top of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.

I was with my friend and her daughter so I took it as a teaching moment and I told the woman that that was very rude and that you shouldn’t say things like that to people. And she said God bless you and I said no no God doesn’t want you to be mean.

I’m used to it, people often will just comment on my appearance or call me the ugly one or the one with the weird nose. I guess you can ask Draw it White in April if I’m ugly or not JK.

I am the same way I am super polite and respectful until you push me too hard then my inner bitch comes out hardcore . I was in counseling in high school due to anger issues....

I know this is a little bit gossipy and vain but, I didn't noticed before that Devon was too in that tape and couldn't help to notice how constantly Dylan moves his whole body towards her as she moves around, as well as turning his head constantly in her direction, as if he was following her. Or trying to.
I don't recall the date of that video or if Devon was already dating Zack at that moment, but could it be that Zack ignored Dylan in such an ugly manner as we see because he noticed Dylan following Devon around?
Don't take me to seriously, I just happen to notice this.

42099_4EVA wrote:

Jea wrote:

cultofdreams wrote:

I think this is like how he was described being at a McDonald's and he thought that others were laughing at him even though Sue didn't think the kids were even paying attention to him at all. Even if the other person isn't doing anything, or is just joking around, he feels as if he is being made fun of so he puts on a mean face or gets mad without question as a defense.

sounds quite paranoid to me

No it's not being paranoid. It's the reaction of someone who has been subjected to severe bullying and who has low self esteem and who feels extremely self-conscious of themselves. I know because I'm the exact same way. I can be in a public place where other, young people my age are and if I see them start to laugh while they're near me, they couldn't be laughing about me or because they're saying something bad about me but I'll think that they are because I prone to thinking that, that's what people do whenever they see me or are near me, they laugh after making ridiculing jokes about me or after they make mean comments about me.

Those are the after effects of low self esteem and severe bullying. It has nothing to do with being paranoid. Dylan seemed to be someone with low self esteem and he definitely endured severe bullying and wasn't it a few months or a month before the shooting that he and Eric were doused with ketchup covered tampons in front of everyone in the commons and were then called pussies? If that incident occurred before this one did, and Dylan said that was one of the worst days of his life, then Dylan was already on edge and suffering the effects from that, so despite the kid with the feather only "joking", Dylan didn't find it funny. In fact, I wouldn't either. If the kid didn't know Dylan, why joke like that? If that kid had did that to a one of those guys with a quick, fiery temper with the probability to snap on a dime, that quick fiery tempered guy would have walked back to that kid with the feather and knocked the shit out of him. So that kid with the feather got off lucky that Dylan didn't walk back there to him and knock the shit out of him....

Can certainly relate, in a diff way. Whenever people at my school laugh, I usually laugh with them, even if it doesn't involve me. That's because I laugh along whenever do this weird thing with me that they do because it's what's expected. They do this weird thing where they keep asking me dumb questions in order to get a response, and they always do, because it's always the strangest thing. I never genuinely laugh afterwards, it's always faked for their own sake. Being in class would be a hellscape otherwise.

Kalamity wrote:

I know this is a little bit gossipy and vain but, I didn't noticed before that Devon was too in that tape and couldn't help to notice how constantly Dylan moves his whole body towards her as she moves around, as well as turning his head constantly in her direction, as if he was following her. Or trying to.
I don't recall the date of that video or if Devon was already dating Zack at that moment, but could it be that Zack ignored  Dylan in such an ugly manner as we see because he noticed Dylan following Devon around?
Don't take me to seriously, I just happen to notice this.

What tape is this? It says unavailable now

Xtina wrote:

Kalamity wrote:

I know this is a little bit gossipy and vain but, I didn't noticed before that Devon was too in that tape and couldn't help to notice how constantly Dylan moves his whole body towards her as she moves around, as well as turning his head constantly in her direction, as if he was following her. Or trying to.
I don't recall the date of that video or if Devon was already dating Zack at that moment, but could it be that Zack ignored  Dylan in such an ugly manner as we see because he noticed Dylan following Devon around?
Don't take me to seriously, I just happen to notice this.

What tape is this? It says unavailable now

This was the tape (I think the Browns recorded?) during the rehearsal of the Frankenstein play Dylan was helping with in the sound. Not longer on YouTube, I could only find it on here:
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Kalamity wrote:

Xtina wrote:

Kalamity wrote:

I know this is a little bit gossipy and vain but, I didn't noticed before that Devon was too in that tape and couldn't help to notice how constantly Dylan moves his whole body towards her as she moves around, as well as turning his head constantly in her direction, as if he was following her. Or trying to.
I don't recall the date of that video or if Devon was already dating Zack at that moment, but could it be that Zack ignored  Dylan in such an ugly manner as we see because he noticed Dylan following Devon around?
Don't take me to seriously, I just happen to notice this.

What tape is this? It says unavailable now

This was the tape (I think the Browns recorded?) during the rehearsal of the Frankenstein play Dylan was helping with in the sound. Not longer on YouTube, I could only find it on here:
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Ahh yep I know this one. Didn't know Devon was in it too lol yeah one of the Browns took it.

Did anyone else hear Dylan growl at 1:20?

NEXT STEP UP wrote:

Did anyone else hear Dylan growl at 1:20?

More like a lion's cub "rawr" lol