Adam Lanza's Final Moments and Thoughts

What do you guys think was going through his head before his suicide? Do you think he was thinking of anything at all? Let me know if there was already a thread like this

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I think considering his lifetime struggle with anxiety and panic attacks, he probably was panicking.

survivingman wrote:

I think considering his lifetime struggle with anxiety and panic attacks, he probably was panicking.

Agreed, I mean I think I would be a little panicky too knowing i'm about to end my life, no return. Though maybe though he perhaps was welcoming of his death, knowing he wouldl have the chance to finally leave this world for good.

I guess that he panicked and didnt think much. Maybe he had a sense of ",terror" (thoughts of beeing in Prison,we all know that Criminals who killed defenseless Children are at the Bottom-Line of Prison-"Society") so he offed himself as quick as possible. Would like to know why he did commit the Shooting.

N/A

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] that makes Sense. Thank you:D

It's odd to imagine Adam in prison. People rarely "enjoy" prison but it's hard not to wonder what he would've thought about the structure/schedule.

survivingman wrote:

I think considering his lifetime struggle with anxiety and panic attacks, he probably was panicking.

Futility wrote:

I guess that he panicked and didnt think much. Maybe he had a sense of ",terror" (thoughts of beeing in Prison,we all know that Criminals who killed defenseless Children are at the Bottom-Line of Prison-"Society") so he offed himself as quick as possible. Would like to know why he did commit the Shooting.

I think these are pretty plausible answers, though I also feel like most of his anxiety would've been welling up in the weeks and days prior to the rampage, and that the minutes/seconds before the very end he would be thinking to himself "thank God it's finally over".

What specific things about the prison would affect Adam and why? I've been asking myself that for a long time

Maybe the gravity of what he had done just hit him, or by that point he may have just become so angry and depressed that he didn't care and wanted his life to just end.

margaflor wrote:

What specific things about the prison would affect Adam and why?  I've been asking myself that for a long time

In a word, everything.

The lights, the noise, the routine, the lack of ability to disinfect everything, lack of stimulation, the way they arrange his food, invasive medical procedures, I can go on but really just think of anything that happens in prison and you can bet he'd loathe it.

QuestionMark wrote:

margaflor wrote:

What specific things about the prison would affect Adam and why?  I've been asking myself that for a long time

In a word, everything.

The lights, the noise, the routine, the lack of ability to disinfect everything, lack of stimulation, the way they arrange his food, invasive medical procedures, I can go on but really just think of anything that happens in prison and you can bet he'd loathe it.

Exactly, I think that all those reasons would be a good reason not to go to prison, I'm sure that he would also be bothered by the entire judicial process and journalists, he simply couldn't bear it.

[REDACTED]

I think he feared the police but i also think he consciously knew and chose to target the brain stem behind his ear. He wanted zero chance of* survival.

I wish this vile little specimen would have messed up his suicide or bottled in in his anxiety ridden state. I’d have loved to know he was in prison now and suffering horrendous torment.

What was going through his head before his suicide? Well, definitely not a 10mm bullet that's for sure.

When he went in there I don't believe he ever had the intention of coming back out to face the consequences of his actions. I can't picture him going through the entire judicial process for reasons others have already stated in this thread. From the moment he broke the glass, it was just a matter of moments until his inevitable suicide.

That being said, even if his mind was made up, he was probably riddled with anxiety. Even more so once he'd stopped shooting and the reality of his actions would've begun to set in. To a certain extent he knew the gravity of what he'd done, whether his actions were justified in his own head or not... hence him splattering his brains all over the classroom.

I agree that he may have been panicky. Or, alternatively, relieved, to end his life.

Other than all previously stated here, I believe he was probably on "autopilot" during the actual shooting, just an emotionless robotic procedure like a soldier carrying out a raid. That's one reason why I believe he likely didn't say anything to any of the victims during the shooting, he probably wouldn't have had the time to stop and think of how to respond to anyone if he was trying to shut off his right brain... Also, in the janitor's 911 call recording where you can hear Adam's last two gunshots, the time between his "test shot" in the hallway and his suicide shot is very short. It seems like he just did the test shot, walked into the classroom and pulled the trigger. No time to think or feel anything as long as you just keep moving and acting. But he probably felt some kind of panic/rush in the midst of everything of course, and I think he was probably trying not to overthink things because he knew it would be over soon.

messianic_mania wrote:

Other than all previously stated here, I believe he was probably on "autopilot" during the actual shooting, just an emotionless robotic procedure like a soldier carrying out a raid. That's one reason why I believe he likely didn't say anything to any of the victims during the shooting, he probably wouldn't have had the time to stop and think of how to respond to anyone if he was trying to shut off his right brain... Also, in the janitor's 911 call recording where you can hear Adam's last two gunshots, the time between his "test shot" in the hallway and his suicide shot is very short. It seems like he just did the test shot, walked into the classroom and pulled the trigger. No time to think or feel anything as long as you just keep moving and acting. But he probably felt some kind of panic/rush in the midst of everything of course, and I think he was probably trying not to overthink things because he knew it would be over soon.

He was not "just an emotionless robot," he was taunting, yelling, and swearing at his victims. One of the survivors described him as a "very angry man." He did it in a fit of rage.

Adam isn't as emotionless as you think, since he did have emotions that were present outside of the shooting in his later years. For example, his YouTube channel is just him arguing with his comment section, complaining about dislikes, aggressively clicking his mouse, loudly sighing, laughing, and the occasional monotone voice.

Octal wrote:

messianic_mania wrote:

Other than all previously stated here, I believe he was probably on "autopilot" during the actual shooting, just an emotionless robotic procedure like a soldier carrying out a raid. That's one reason why I believe he likely didn't say anything to any of the victims during the shooting, he probably wouldn't have had the time to stop and think of how to respond to anyone if he was trying to shut off his right brain... Also, in the janitor's 911 call recording where you can hear Adam's last two gunshots, the time between his "test shot" in the hallway and his suicide shot is very short. It seems like he just did the test shot, walked into the classroom and pulled the trigger. No time to think or feel anything as long as you just keep moving and acting. But he probably felt some kind of panic/rush in the midst of everything of course, and I think he was probably trying not to overthink things because he knew it would be over soon.

He was not "just an emotionless robot," he was taunting, yelling, and swearing at his victims. One of the survivors described him as a "very angry man." It is clear he did it in a fit of rage.

Adam isn't as emotionless as you think, since he did have emotions that were present outside of the shooting in his later years. For example, his YouTube channel is just him arguing with his comment section, complaining about dislikes, aggressively clicking his mouse, loudly sighing, laughing, and the occasional monotone voice.

First, I don't think Adam is emotionless. Quite the contrary, I posted another reply on a thread right before this one where I mentioned that a lot of people read Adam as emotionless and cold and incapable of positive emotion when that's not true at all, there's evidence of the contrary.

Second, what is your evidence that he was "taunting, yelling, and swearing" at his victims during the shooting? Genuinely, I'd like to hear your sources. I've seen one source that claimed something like that but couldn't provide adequate proof, and another that claims he said something like "look at me" and/or "well, you're here" to victims during the shooting, which also didn't have reputable sources, in fact I believe those dated back to a fanfiction about the tragedy which included him kissing victims too, if I remember correctly. I haven't seen enough evidence to show he said anything at all during the shooting so if you have said evidence please send it my way, I'm being sincere.

I want to re-clarify that I wasn't implying that he was emotionless about the massacre at all, or that he might not have been angry, or anything like that, I was saying that I personally believe he tried to push back any emotions that might have made it hard for him to continue with the shooting, similar to what Eric Harris wrote about in his journals. He obviously cared a lot about his motive for the shooting considering he did it at all, and I assume he wouldn't want to mess that up by having a meltdown or something of the likes that would cause problems for him. But again, I'm not saying that any of this is fact. That's why I started my original comment with "I BELIEVE".

messianic_mania wrote:

Octal wrote:

messianic_mania wrote:

Other than all previously stated here, I believe he was probably on "autopilot" during the actual shooting, just an emotionless robotic procedure like a soldier carrying out a raid. That's one reason why I believe he likely didn't say anything to any of the victims during the shooting, he probably wouldn't have had the time to stop and think of how to respond to anyone if he was trying to shut off his right brain... Also, in the janitor's 911 call recording where you can hear Adam's last two gunshots, the time between his "test shot" in the hallway and his suicide shot is very short. It seems like he just did the test shot, walked into the classroom and pulled the trigger. No time to think or feel anything as long as you just keep moving and acting. But he probably felt some kind of panic/rush in the midst of everything of course, and I think he was probably trying not to overthink things because he knew it would be over soon.

He was not "just an emotionless robot," he was taunting, yelling, and swearing at his victims. One of the survivors described him as a "very angry man." It is clear he did it in a fit of rage.

Adam isn't as emotionless as you think, since he did have emotions that were present outside of the shooting in his later years. For example, his YouTube channel is just him arguing with his comment section, complaining about dislikes, aggressively clicking his mouse, loudly sighing, laughing, and the occasional monotone voice.

First, I don't think Adam is emotionless. Quite the contrary, I posted another reply on a thread right before this one where I mentioned that a lot of people read Adam as emotionless and cold and incapable of positive emotion when that's not true at all, there's evidence of the contrary.

Second, what is your evidence that he was "taunting, yelling, and swearing" at his victims during the shooting? Genuinely, I'd like to hear your sources. I've seen one source that claimed something like that but couldn't provide adequate proof, and another that claims he said something like "look at me" and/or "well, you're here" to victims during the shooting, which also didn't have reputable sources, in fact I believe those dated back to a fanfiction about the tragedy which included him kissing victims too, if I remember correctly. I haven't seen enough evidence to show he said anything at all during the shooting so if you have said evidence please send it my way, I'm being sincere.

I want to re-clarify that I wasn't implying that he was emotionless about the massacre at all, or that he might not have been angry, or anything like that, I was saying that I personally believe he tried to push back any emotions that might have made it hard for him to continue with the shooting, similar to what Eric Harris wrote about in his journals. He obviously cared a lot about his motive for the shooting considering he did it at all, and I assume he wouldn't want to mess that up by having a meltdown or something of the likes that would cause problems for him. But again, I'm not saying that any of this is fact. That's why I started my original comment with "I BELIEVE".

Okay, so maybe I phrased the second paragraph weirdly since I had no background knowledge of you because I have never seen the thread you speak of (you can probably disregard that paragraph entirely). You still implied that he was emotionless at least DURING the shooting in the first paragraph. You say he was simply trying to suppress his emotions but I don't see him having much control over it. Any attempt of him trying to push back his emotions of anger would be futile, (However, I do believe he had the bare minimum of emotional control to carry shit out, bare fucking minimum though) Why would an adrenaline rush give you more control and make you emotionless at the moment, seriously? Realistically, I don't think anybody who was coddled by mommy and lived in the dark would turn out to be a stable person with good self-control.

My source was from the Connecticut state investigation report, and there was also a newstimes article, but people said the state investigation report isn't 100% reliable so I'll give you that, but that does not mean he acted in the complete opposite way of what was described in the report. You said there wasn't enough evidence, which allows me to infer what could have happened based on my own research rather than facts, and make decisions based on what makes sense to me. I can vaguely infer what type of person he is from his YT channel alone. Since you use the words "probably," "like," and "I believe," I believe that I should do the same.[

Octal wrote:

messianic_mania wrote:

Octal wrote:

messianic_mania wrote:

Other than all previously stated here, I believe he was probably on "autopilot" during the actual shooting, just an emotionless robotic procedure like a soldier carrying out a raid. That's one reason why I believe he likely didn't say anything to any of the victims during the shooting, he probably wouldn't have had the time to stop and think of how to respond to anyone if he was trying to shut off his right brain... Also, in the janitor's 911 call recording where you can hear Adam's last two gunshots, the time between his "test shot" in the hallway and his suicide shot is very short. It seems like he just did the test shot, walked into the classroom and pulled the trigger. No time to think or feel anything as long as you just keep moving and acting. But he probably felt some kind of panic/rush in the midst of everything of course, and I think he was probably trying not to overthink things because he knew it would be over soon.

He was not "just an emotionless robot," he was taunting, yelling, and swearing at his victims. One of the survivors described him as a "very angry man." It is clear he did it in a fit of rage.

Adam isn't as emotionless as you think, since he did have emotions that were present outside of the shooting in his later years. For example, his YouTube channel is just him arguing with his comment section, complaining about dislikes, aggressively clicking his mouse, loudly sighing, laughing, and the occasional monotone voice.

First, I don't think Adam is emotionless. Quite the contrary, I posted another reply on a thread right before this one where I mentioned that a lot of people read Adam as emotionless and cold and incapable of positive emotion when that's not true at all, there's evidence of the contrary.

Second, what is your evidence that he was "taunting, yelling, and swearing" at his victims during the shooting? Genuinely, I'd like to hear your sources. I've seen one source that claimed something like that but couldn't provide adequate proof, and another that claims he said something like "look at me" and/or "well, you're here" to victims during the shooting, which also didn't have reputable sources, in fact I believe those dated back to a fanfiction about the tragedy which included him kissing victims too, if I remember correctly. I haven't seen enough evidence to show he said anything at all during the shooting so if you have said evidence please send it my way, I'm being sincere.

I want to re-clarify that I wasn't implying that he was emotionless about the massacre at all, or that he might not have been angry, or anything like that, I was saying that I personally believe he tried to push back any emotions that might have made it hard for him to continue with the shooting, similar to what Eric Harris wrote about in his journals. He obviously cared a lot about his motive for the shooting considering he did it at all, and I assume he wouldn't want to mess that up by having a meltdown or something of the likes that would cause problems for him. But again, I'm not saying that any of this is fact. That's why I started my original comment with "I BELIEVE".

Okay, so maybe I phrased the second paragraph weirdly since I had no background knowledge of you because I have never seen the thread you speak of (you can probably disregard that paragraph entirely). You still implied that he was emotionless at least DURING the shooting in the first paragraph. You say he was simply trying to suppress his emotions but I don't see him having much control over it. Any attempt of him trying to push back his emotions of anger would be futile, (However, I do believe he had the bare minimum of emotional control to carry shit out, bare fucking minimum though) Why would an adrenaline rush give you more control and make you emotionless at the moment, seriously? Realistically, I don't think anybody who was coddled by mommy and lived in the dark would turn out to be a stable person with good self-control.

My source was from the Connecticut state investigation report, and there was also a newstimes article, but people said the state investigation report isn't 100% reliable so I'll give you that, but that does not mean he acted in the complete opposite way of what was described in the report. You said there wasn't enough evidence, which allows me to infer what could have happened based on my own research rather than facts, and make decisions based on what makes sense to me. I can vaguely infer what type of person he is from his YT channel alone. Since you use the words "probably," "like," and "I believe," I believe that I should do the same.

Oh, absolutely. I have no problem with you disagreeing with me, we obviously infer seperate plausible situations based off our personal knowledge and beliefs... However, your original reply seemed quite hostile like you were saying that I was factually wrong and you were factually correct. That is what bothered me. But I can agree to disagree any day with someone who is willing to agree that neither of us know for sure what happened that day.

messianic_mania wrote:

Octal wrote:

messianic_mania wrote:

Octal wrote:

messianic_mania wrote:

Other than all previously stated here, I believe he was probably on "autopilot" during the actual shooting, just an emotionless robotic procedure like a soldier carrying out a raid. That's one reason why I believe he likely didn't say anything to any of the victims during the shooting, he probably wouldn't have had the time to stop and think of how to respond to anyone if he was trying to shut off his right brain... Also, in the janitor's 911 call recording where you can hear Adam's last two gunshots, the time between his "test shot" in the hallway and his suicide shot is very short. It seems like he just did the test shot, walked into the classroom and pulled the trigger. No time to think or feel anything as long as you just keep moving and acting. But he probably felt some kind of panic/rush in the midst of everything of course, and I think he was probably trying not to overthink things because he knew it would be over soon.

He was not "just an emotionless robot," he was taunting, yelling, and swearing at his victims. One of the survivors described him as a "very angry man." It is clear he did it in a fit of rage.

Adam isn't as emotionless as you think, since he did have emotions that were present outside of the shooting in his later years. For example, his YouTube channel is just him arguing with his comment section, complaining about dislikes, aggressively clicking his mouse, loudly sighing, laughing, and the occasional monotone voice.

First, I don't think Adam is emotionless. Quite the contrary, I posted another reply on a thread right before this one where I mentioned that a lot of people read Adam as emotionless and cold and incapable of positive emotion when that's not true at all, there's evidence of the contrary.

Second, what is your evidence that he was "taunting, yelling, and swearing" at his victims during the shooting? Genuinely, I'd like to hear your sources. I've seen one source that claimed something like that but couldn't provide adequate proof, and another that claims he said something like "look at me" and/or "well, you're here" to victims during the shooting, which also didn't have reputable sources, in fact I believe those dated back to a fanfiction about the tragedy which included him kissing victims too, if I remember correctly. I haven't seen enough evidence to show he said anything at all during the shooting so if you have said evidence please send it my way, I'm being sincere.

I want to re-clarify that I wasn't implying that he was emotionless about the massacre at all, or that he might not have been angry, or anything like that, I was saying that I personally believe he tried to push back any emotions that might have made it hard for him to continue with the shooting, similar to what Eric Harris wrote about in his journals. He obviously cared a lot about his motive for the shooting considering he did it at all, and I assume he wouldn't want to mess that up by having a meltdown or something of the likes that would cause problems for him. But again, I'm not saying that any of this is fact. That's why I started my original comment with "I BELIEVE".

Okay, so maybe I phrased the second paragraph weirdly since I had no background knowledge of you because I have never seen the thread you speak of (you can probably disregard that paragraph entirely). You still implied that he was emotionless at least DURING the shooting in the first paragraph. You say he was simply trying to suppress his emotions but I don't see him having much control over it. Any attempt of him trying to push back his emotions of anger would be futile, (However, I do believe he had the bare minimum of emotional control to carry shit out, bare fucking minimum though) Why would an adrenaline rush give you more control and make you emotionless at the moment, seriously? Realistically, I don't think anybody who was coddled by mommy and lived in the dark would turn out to be a stable person with good self-control.

My source was from the Connecticut state investigation report, and there was also a newstimes article, but people said the state investigation report isn't 100% reliable so I'll give you that, but that does not mean he acted in the complete opposite way of what was described in the report. You said there wasn't enough evidence, which allows me to infer what could have happened based on my own research rather than facts, and make decisions based on what makes sense to me. I can vaguely infer what type of person he is from his YT channel alone. Since you use the words "probably," "like," and "I believe," I believe that I should do the same.

Oh, absolutely. I have no problem with you disagreeing with me, we obviously infer seperate plausible situations based off our personal knowledge and beliefs... However, your original reply seemed quite hostile like you were saying that I was factually wrong and you were factually correct. That is what bothered me. But I can agree to disagree any day with someone who is willing to agree that neither of us know for sure what happened that day.

Sorry then, I didn't mean to come across that way. Slop just gets in the way.

I think the state report gives a somewhat true answer to this: Adam was fucking angry. I know the theory that he thought he was saving the children is quite popular (and makes sense considering the content his videos), but I believe this was more like a justification he had made for himself, to feel like the massacre is about something bigger than his own emotions, to feel like he is on a great mission. The reality was different:

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I would have to agree with the idea that he was very angry, but regardless and contrary to popular speculation, I don't think he perpetrated the shooting out of pure rage. I think he was initially motivated by general thoughts of violence and homicide - he had anger issues from a very young age and many of the things he went through in life [due to his mental ailments] would likely contribute to his misery and loathing. Of course his philosophy was very negative towards life, and something many people with severe depression will tell you is that they believe that life is suffering, not worth it, they wish they'd never been born etc. I think Adam's philosophy was influenced much much more by his mental anguish than he realized or was willing to admit - perspective is everything. His depression and mental suffering fueled his philosophy, and his anger issues escalated his desire to "do something about it". One thing I mentioned before in my earlier comment on this thread [which I do not completely agree with anymore] is that he seemed to end his life very quickly after he was "done" killing people, it's almost like he didn't want to give himself any time to think about what he was doing and feel regret or remorse, or realize the extent of his delusion. It reminds me of Eric Harris saying he had to pretend he was killing doom villains so that he wouldn't stop to feel empathy or remorse, or back out of what he was planning.

messianic_mania wrote:

I would have to agree with the idea that he was very angry, but regardless and contrary to popular speculation, I don't think he perpetrated the shooting out of pure rage. I think he was initially motivated by general thoughts of violence and homicide - he had anger issues from a very young age and many of the things he went through in life [due to his mental ailments] would likely contribute to his misery and loathing. Of course his philosophy was very negative towards life, and something many people with severe depression will tell you is that they believe that life is suffering, not worth it, they wish they'd never been born etc. I think Adam's philosophy was influenced much much more by his mental anguish than he realized or was willing to admit - perspective is everything. His depression and mental suffering fueled his philosophy, and his anger issues escalated his desire to "do something about it". One thing I mentioned before in my earlier comment on this thread [which I do not completely agree with anymore] is that he seemed to end his life very quickly after he was "done" killing people, it's almost like he didn't want to give himself any time to think about what he was doing and feel regret or remorse, or realize the extent of his delusion. It reminds me of Eric Harris saying he had to pretend he was killing doom villains so that he wouldn't stop to feel empathy or remorse, or back out of what he was planning.

Yes, thats definetely true too. I think Adam was by far the most philosophical, ideological shooter, even more than Breivik (I can't take that unstructured rant manifesto seriously). His writings and CulturalPhilistine videos clearly paint a picture of a very thoughtful, but severely depressed young man. I think the main issue with his brain was that he couldn't stop thinking. Any of us has some aspects of reality that annoy us, but the vast majority just keeps going and focus on something else. I think Adams mind was so focused on all the aspects of life that he perceived as "wrong", that he never really felt relaxed. Thats also why he slept so long (up to 12 hours) altough he didnt work anything, imagine how stressfull it would be to sit there all day and think about how wrong everything about culture and society is, its no wonder he felt suicidal, he kept himself constantly at a high stress level and couldnt stop. His mother also mentioned he cried often or just stared at the walls, especially in the last year of his life, I think thats when he was so exhausted that his mind couldnt handle the thoughts anymore.

i doubt he shot himself quickly to avoid thinking about it, he simply did the shooting in an emotionless, calculated matter. adam was probably checking off the phases of his plan in his mind, and when his rifle started malfunctioning and the police started approaching the school, he decided it was time to kill himself. i'd imagine his last thoughts were ones of satisfaction with the amount of damage he did. also, his glawk jammed after firing a test shot earlier in the shooting so he spent a minute clearing the jam before blowing his noggin off. i really don't think he was angry during the shooting, just somewhat annoyed and pissy due to problems with his guns.

the "saving the children" line he said i doubt was meant to be taken so literally. sandy hook was an easy target for adam, and he didn't give a fuck about the morality of shooting children. i don't think adam lanza set out that day with any goal besides killing people at sandy hook and dying. imo the date it happened wasn't important either, adam wasn't the typa dude to care about if the date he did an attack on had some type of significance. i bet that he had his weapons + gear set up so that he could carry out the shooting whenever he felt he wanted to. i'm too high to articulate this any better.

Le Chud wrote:

i doubt he shot himself quickly to avoid thinking about it, he simply did the shooting in an emotionless, calculated matter. adam was probably checking off the phases of his plan in his mind, and when his rifle started malfunctioning and the police started approaching the school, he decided it was time to kill himself. i'd imagine his last thoughts were ones of satisfaction with the amount of damage he did. also, his glawk jammed after firing a test shot earlier in the shooting so he spent a minute clearing the jam before blowing his noggin off. i really don't think he was angry during the shooting, just somewhat annoyed and pissy due to problems with his guns.

the "saving the children" line he said i doubt was meant to be taken so literally. sandy hook was an easy target for adam, and he didn't give a fuck about the morality of shooting children. i don't think adam lanza set out that day with any goal besides killing people at sandy hook and dying. imo the date it happened wasn't important either, adam wasn't the typa dude to care about if the date he did an attack on had some type of significance. i bet that he had his weapons + gear set up so that he could carry out the shooting whenever he felt he wanted to. i'm too high to articulate this any better.

You downplay the significance of the constant malfunctions. He was so pissed that he threw the ar15 on the ground. This was the last and most important thing he ever did, and he was the type to be enraged by any inconvenience. Overall was probably still thrilled. I also think the savior thing is dumb. He didn't make any effort to kill the kids humanely and was probably jealous of them. Maybe he still used it as validation. I think he felt like he was in a video game and didn't feel the significance of the situation but still understood that he couldn't escape.