When I almost attacked my school at the Halloween party

Well, this all happened in 2018. I was 16 at the time. an intelligent, silent, unorthodox and reclusive boy. I was in a mess of ideas that I currently don't have. during 10 years of school I only had about 7 friends and I suffered a lot of bullying until that moment. I've always liked realistic and dark subjects, from the paranormal to mysterious cases. at that time I loved Creppypastas, which I still love to this day. and one character caught my attention: Jeff the Killer. my attention to this character as well as Slender unlike the others was due to his murderous and dark, limitless essence. I was also really into melee weapons at the time, and Jeff uses melee weapons, which also helped to identify me with the character to the point that I saw a lot of creppypastas related to him. Well, in one of the classes, a month before my school's Halloween party, I was told that there was going to be this party and that everyone was supposed to come dressed up. I was already in a period of destruction from the bullying I suffered, but I remained a recluse. that's when joking frankly, I said, "I'm going to come dressed as Jeff the Killer and I'm going to bring a knife and stab you all." with such a calm and sincerity that is absolutely natural. of course I never even thought at that moment of doing something like that, although I already knew cases of attacks. the day after that I missed it and right after the first class I arrived, I was called to the school secretary, where they informed my parents and they were called to go there. I then said it was all a joke but I also dissected all the ideas of social criticism I had about school, society and those guys. I said in front of everyone: "The majority of the current human population is worthless and must be reduced." Of course, unfortunately, I was banned from going to the party and I can say that I was left with a mixture of anger and sadness.

AFTER SEEING THE FACE OF THE DAMNED PEOPLE WHO REPORTED ME I SAID: "Now it makes me want to attack the school".

But........
calm down, nothing happened and I just couldn't go from Jeff the Killer.

i don’t understand what lead to that gut the whole situation seems kinda silly to me.

Columbine Coward wrote:

i don’t understand what lead to that gut the whole situation seems kinda silly to me.

it was silly. they were scared according to school authorities, due to my behavior and the history of attacks. they considered me an extremely intelligent, reclusive, unorthodox, misanthropic, radical and analytical person and I practically at that time had the characteristics of a potential school shooter. but that didn't even cross my mind. I just said it as a joke. the problem is that I speak in a way that sounds serious when I'm joking.

but I won't lie. after I found out that I was banned from going there, I didn't even want to take knives, but explosives and detonate everything. hahahaah

I was blacklisted for 2 years beyond that, mainly because after that, I committed to ending bullying myself and I succeeded. not only did I make it, but I became the biggest bully at school and almost got arrested hahahahaha.

I've literally done everything you can imagine in school. I've seen banned videos, I took banned videos, I dressed as Hitler, I took mein Kampf, I smoked organic tobacco with a pipe, I listened to German and Scottish music during sports, I arrived by bike to the sound of rock and blues rock like Bad To The Bone , I shaved my head, I made a huge swastika on my uniform, I wrote in runes a lot of things, I got involved with Satanism, Nazism, Buddhism, the paranormal, criminalistics, esoteric Hitlerism, everything. I almost got arrested for it. hahahaha

I once took a playboy to read during biology class. worse was the Satanist lecture I gave during recess.

I arrived as the terminator at school. During biology and history classes I was writing spicy gay stories for girls, I even arrived with Hitler's mustache and was greeted at the door of the room by my 10 classmates with arms raised saying: Hail! and as my name is Dylan, this must have upset the school principal a little. hahahaah

based.
in middle school i was bullied pretty badly and planned to knife everyone of my bullies one by one....but i did not have a good enough plan so i decided to ditch the whole thing.

voidbl4nk wrote:

based.
in middle school i was bullied pretty badly and planned to knife everyone of my bullies one by one....but i did not have a good enough plan so i decided to ditch the whole thing.

The best way to stop bullying is for you to do what you want.

voidbl4nk wrote:

based.
in middle school i was bullied pretty badly and planned to knife everyone of my bullies one by one....but i did not have a good enough plan so i decided to ditch the whole thing.

I was very angry after that. oh yes I wanted to attack, hahahaha. but I didn't do anything because I'm a pacifist.

The funny thing is that after that I said: "do you think that if I attacked the school, I would come with a knife? I would buy a machine gun along with explosives and destroy everything"! hahahahahaah but then they didn't confront me or bully me anymore.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] yeah i ended up moving after that school year so i really couldn't anything about it anymore. i ended up getting bullied at my next school but by then i didn't see the point of killing anyone. i honestly think it wouldn't have ended up the way i would have wanted it to.

voidbl4nk wrote:

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] yeah i ended up moving after that school year so i really couldn't anything about it anymore. i ended up getting bullied at my next school but by then i didn't see the point of killing anyone. i honestly think it wouldn't have ended up the way i would have wanted it to.

I'm telling my story because I know there are possible school shooters everywhere. but most of them do so because they have no other way of expressing their anger against society. It's not by demonizing them that this will end. it is understanding and showing another way of acting. instead of buying guns, why not buy some cool clothes, a baseball bat, learn to fight, throw punches around or go camping? I prefer a guy who does these things than an angry kid who shoots at a school. and I can speak, because I did it.

this is also why i am selfish above all. for me i want society to fuck off, and i will never die for something she did or does. also because I can't get hurt, so..... it gets easier.

Pekka wrote:

voidbl4nk wrote:

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] yeah i ended up moving after that school year so i really couldn't anything about it anymore. i ended up getting bullied at my next school but by then i didn't see the point of killing anyone. i honestly think it wouldn't have ended up the way i would have wanted it to.

I'm telling my story because I know there are possible school shooters everywhere. but most of them do so because they have no other way of expressing their anger against society. It's not by demonizing them that this will end. it is understanding and showing another way of acting. instead of buying guns, why not buy some cool clothes, a baseball bat, learn to fight, throw punches around or go camping? I prefer a guy who does these things than an angry kid who shoots at a school. and I can speak, because I did it.

I won't deny that there is a part of us that wants to see everything burn. but, it doesn't always have to be us, the causers. lets society catch fire on its own, she is a Phd at doing that.

voidbl4nk wrote:

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] yeah i ended up moving after that school year so i really couldn't anything about it anymore. i ended up getting bullied at my next school but by then i didn't see the point of killing anyone. i honestly think it wouldn't have ended up the way i would have wanted it to.

I'll tell you something interesting:
my name is Dylan
I was just like Pekka Eric Auvinen at 17 to 18 and I was bullied until I was 16/17. Bullying of all kinds, along with social isolation. It was routine for me to be alone during breaks and PE classes and that was very painful for me. me, to the point where I went into a deep depression and almost killed myself for this and other issues, which was prevented because I can't hurt myself. The question is simple: if your nature is suicidal, you end your life alone. You are disgusted with modern society, experience something different. Violence seems to be the best alternative, but it is not necessarily so. In addition to violence, there is strategy. The greatest example of this is the Wolf packs and the Orcas groups, which unite within a strategy to get what they want. Intelligence is not taking a bunch of books and repeating them or being inspired by silly heroes. Intelligence is knowing how to live in your own way.

Pekka wrote:

voidbl4nk wrote:

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] yeah i ended up moving after that school year so i really couldn't anything about it anymore. i ended up getting bullied at my next school but by then i didn't see the point of killing anyone. i honestly think it wouldn't have ended up the way i would have wanted it to.

I'll tell you something interesting:
my name is Dylan
I have Elliot Rodger's height which is 5' 9" as well as weight too, I also share with him the issue of most girls not liking me, which I countered when I became Pansexual on my own, I was just like Pekka Eric Auvinen at 17 to 18 and I was bullied until I was 16/17. Bullying of all kinds, along with social isolation. It was routine for me to be alone during breaks and PE classes and that was very painful for me. me, to the point where I went into a deep depression and almost killed myself for this and other issues, which was prevented because I can't hurt myself. The question is simple: if your nature is suicidal, you end your life alone. You are disgusted with modern society, experience something different. Violence seems to be the best alternative, but it is not necessarily so. In addition to violence, there is strategy. The greatest example of this is the Wolf packs and the Orcas groups, which unite within a strategy to get what they want. Intelligence is not taking a bunch of books and repeating them or being inspired by silly heroes. Intelligence is knowing how to live in your own way.

and another thing: I am a writer. I think you must have noticed.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] I've noticed, and you're a good one too. It's been interesting reading your posts.

voidbl4nk wrote:

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] I've noticed, and you're a good one too. It's been interesting reading your posts.

I'm glad to be helping the forum. I will show you a personal relic.

Pekka wrote:

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

there is only one shirt with this shape and measurements in the whole world, and it's mine..

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] Nice. Pekka has always been a favorite of mine. He's one I can relate to a lot. How did you make it?

voidbl4nk wrote:

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] Nice. Pekka has always been a favorite of mine. He's one I can relate to a lot. How did you make it?

I printed the image over my measurements. I also have one from Natural Selection. are my two babies in the form of clothes. and I go out with them quietly. It's funny because I go to parties with pants and this blouse and it's a unique and cool style.

voidbl4nk wrote:

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] Nice. Pekka has always been a favorite of mine. He's one I can relate to a lot. How did you make it?

Pekka was a guy who revolted against society and like all the other shooters, a very emotional person who revolted with all the hypocrisy and sadism around him and decided to make his "revolution". the greatest revolution that he could make and that he did, was to change his mind. It's a shame all that happened. like I said, we want to see everything burn, but we don't have to be the cause of the fire.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] Yeah, it certainly is a shame. If only more people knew about what he was trying to accomplish.

voidbl4nk wrote:

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] Yeah, it certainly is a shame. If only more people knew about what he was trying to accomplish.

unfortunately, the majority of the population does not have enough existential value even to perceive themselves as living beings in a world like ours, much less to discover what an analytical mind is thinking. that's why I'm a Misanthrope, but as I even wrote in an article, Misanthropy only works if it's a pacifist.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] I agree. They would never understand. While I do not hate anyone, I am apathetic to the world and the people around me.

voidbl4nk wrote:

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] I agree. They would never understand. While I do not hate anyone, I am apathetic to the world and the people around me.

Pekka went through the same thing any realistic person goes through: Choice. Choose between chaos and strategy, between promoted destruction or patience. he chose destruction. but imagine if he were alive today? would probably be a heterodox thinker and would probably be around here.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] my discord is voidbl4nk [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

voidbl4nk wrote:

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] I agree. They would never understand. While I do not hate anyone, I am apathetic to the world and the people around me.

Of course, he also had his problems and contradictions, such as his relationship with Tannashel, who was nothing more than an anti-society Nazi.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] Yeah, I suppose it was just a phase.

School shooters are a reflection of the societies we have today. therefore, it is a change, a crisis in consciousness that can put an end to it, and to put an end to that, only pacifism. Everything that society struggles to defend and create will not last, either through change and obsolescence made by society itself, or through the action of nature. and what is in the past is in the past. of course, we must take into account to be what we are, but it is up to us, since this is now at our command, to act to absorb what is beneficial or not. if Pekka hadn't cared about the bullying he suffered and even turned into a more violent guy, only within certain limits, the thing would end. no blood, no radicalism, no politics, not all that shit.

But also the demonization and misunderstanding of human behavior will continue to perpetuate this. treating man as a simple chemical machine is not working.

Are you two still homicidal now? If so: please don't do anything crazy. Try to win in life to make them pay, don't destroy other lives and stay safe please

CanIHelpYou wrote:

Are you two still homicidal now? If so: please don't do anything crazy. Try to win in life to make them pay, don't destroy other lives and stay safe please

Do you have cognitive dissonance? we are saying that the only form of development against society is that way. developing itself peacefully.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] i think about suicide more than homicide now, so no.

voidbl4nk wrote:

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] i think about suicide more than homicide now, so no.

I'm sorry to hear that.. If you wanna talk about it feel free to pm me any time..