The McDonalds Incident

From Sue's Book:
This occurred on the way home from the families trip to the University of Arizona:

Sue Klebold wrote:

There was one more odd incident on our way home, which at the time Tom and I chalked up to Dylan's desire to get back to his friends. The three of us stopped at a packed McDonald's in Pueblo for a quick bite. A large group of teenagers had taken over a couple of tables against the wall. We'd just unwrapped our sandwiches when Dylan leaned forward, hardly moving his lips, and said urgently, "We have to go. Those kids are laughing at me." I looked over. The teenagers were hooting and hollering and having a great time, and none of them was paying the slightest bit of attention to us.

"Relax, Dyl. Nobody's looking at you." I said. Besides, if a person didn't want to be noticed, why wear a floor-length leather coat? But Dylan grew more insistent, casting quick, paranoid glances over his shoulder at the oblivious kids. He was so uncomfortable that we bolted our burgers and hustled out of there; the teenagers didn't' even look up at us as we left. The rest of the ride home was uneventful.

Page 230

I'm curious what others thoughts are about this?

I wouldn't doubt they were laughing at him. I mean a goofy 6'4 kid in a trenchcoat was easy laughing matter, especially by other teens. I think he wanted to go because maybe his rage would of came out and he would of confronted them, and if a fight broke out police would be involved which would possibly mess up NBK. I guess there are a few scenarios, if you really think about it.

Part of me wonders if Dylan had some sort of mild anxiety disorder.

Well I can honestly say this only from my perspective. I've been bullied starting from a relatively young age (around 13-14) and I'm also a very sensitive person - I've got anxiety I believe (not diagnosed) - and since those two things are now an unfortunate mix , I'm somewhat paranoid. People like me understand that kind of paranoia : you hear people laughing on the street and you think it's about you, your heart is racing like mad , palms sweat , can't think straight, you try to walk faster, almost feels like a fight or flight situation etc.

It shows he had that mild type of paranoia and honestly I'm not surprised but when I first read that part it struck me deep in the feels because he did manage to fool me into thinking he's a guy who doesn't give alot of shit about other people's opinions. The fact that he told his parents to leave ASAP tells me he was in a very strong state of panic. I did experience that and I can compare it to seeing a car speed towards you and the only thing you can think is "I GOTTA GET OUT , I GOTTA GET OUT". But that's just my opinion.

edit: I'm convinced he had anxiety.

For some reason I always thought it was just Dylan and Tom who went to Arizona - I'm not sure where I got that from!

...

Gamling wrote:

slippy123 wrote:

I wouldn't doubt they were laughing at him. I mean a goofy 6'4 kid in a trenchcoat was easy laughing matter, especially by other teens.

I agree - the kids probably were laughing at him. If not, he certainly expected them to.

He probably wanted to avoid further humiliation at any cost.

Then why did he dress in a manner guaranteed to draw attention to himself, if he wanted to avoid humiliation?

lasttrain, maybe Dylan expected the trenchcoat to evoke different reactions in people than people laughing at Dylan.

lasttrain wrote:

Gamling wrote:

slippy123 wrote:

I wouldn't doubt they were laughing at him. I mean a goofy 6'4 kid in a trenchcoat was easy laughing matter, especially by other teens.

I agree - the kids probably were laughing at him. If not, he certainly expected them to.

He probably wanted to avoid further humiliation at any cost.

Then why did he dress in a manner guaranteed to draw attention to himself, if he wanted to avoid humiliation?

Because he wasn't a follower.  Neither was Eric.  Two peas in a pod.

this incident was a red flag, i think. it´s like the "eric is crazy" comment. but no one realized that something was wrong with dylan. very wrong.

em81 wrote:

this incident was a red flag, i think. it´s like the "eric is crazy" comment. but no one realized that something was wrong with dylan. very wrong.

Its not a red flag at all, just a massive sign that he was insecure, which some people are. The McDonald's incident was interesting because when I was Dylan's age I had the same reaction while eating out because I was worried people were always talking about me behind me back or judging the way I eat.

em81 wrote:

this incident was a red flag, i think. it´s like the "eric is crazy" comment. but no one realized that something was wrong with dylan. very wrong.

I dont think it was necessarily a red flag.  A lot of teens go through a stage where they constantly feel like they've got an imaginary audience judging them.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

em81 wrote:

this incident was a red flag, i think. it´s like the "eric is crazy" comment. but no one realized that something was wrong with dylan. very wrong.

I completely disagree. I used to think (and sometimes still do) that people were laughing at/taking the piss out of me all the time. Sometimes they were, sometimes they weren't. Either way, it's a common thing that happens to the majority of people, and isn't at all a red flag.

Magnaphoria wrote:

Well I can honestly say this only from my perspective. I've been bullied starting from a relatively young age (around 13-14) and I'm also a very sensitive person - I've got anxiety I believe (not diagnosed) - and since those two things are now an unfortunate mix , I'm somewhat paranoid. People like me understand that kind of paranoia : you hear people laughing on the street and you think it's about you, your heart is racing like mad , palms sweat , can't think straight, you try to walk faster, almost feels like a fight or flight situation etc.

It shows he had that mild type of paranoia and honestly I'm not surprised but when I first read that part it struck me deep in the feels because he did manage to fool me into thinking he's a guy who doesn't give alot of shit about other people's opinions. The fact that he told his parents to leave ASAP tells me he was in a very strong state of panic. I did experience that and I can compare it to seeing a car speed towards you and the only thing you can think is "I GOTTA GET OUT , I GOTTA GET OUT". But that's just my opinion.

edit: I'm convinced he had anxiety.

First of all, I just want to say that I doubt those people even knew he was there

Your post sums it up pretty well. Having social anxiety really, really sucks. I have been in many situations very similar to the Mcdonalds incident.
The sense that you are being negatively judged is always there, but when you hear a group of people laughing or whispering when it otherwise uneventful, that feeling of self consciousness becomes amplified. When you think about it, you know these feelings are irrational. You know that most likely no one is paying attention to you because everyone is in their own world. But when you're in the moment, no matter how hard you try to think about it logically, you can't stop those feelings. It's like a curse.

Another thing I would like to note-Social anxiety is weird. For me, there seems to be a certain level where my anxiety is usually at. Most days it is tolerable, but some days it is so unbearable that I just cant function and have to go home.

x