Was Dylan (VoDKa) an alcoholic ?

I believe Dylan gained the name VoDKa due to his liking of alcohol.
He wrote a few journal entries whilst stating he was having a screwdriver. Was Dylan an alcoholic ?
The toxicologist report carried out on Dylan's corpse came back as zero alcohol in his system.
I think if Dylan was an alcoholic or had a drink problem why didn't he have some " dutch courage " to settle his nerves?
He stated that he would be " shaking like a leaf " at the start of the massacre. 
Also , Eric's toxicologist report came back as zero too. They both liked a drink. 
But they both didn't have a drink problem?

I think given that Dylan was shy, he liked that alcohol made him feel less anxious and uninhibited. I think when he downed that bottle of Vodka with friends and acquired the nick "VoDkA" he coveted that. He completely owned the name in his journal.  But never really expected anyone would call him it the way Eric demanded people call him REB.  It's hard to say how much Dylan drank or how much he drank by himself.  Some tend to think he drank and wrote in his journals the majority of the time but actually that's surmising.  How would we really know that unless we asked Zack or Robyn since they called him the most every evening. ;) He only mentioned the screwdriver one time in his journal and that was at the beginning.  I think both agreed that they wanted to be clear headed as possible on 4/20 and so getting tipsy or drunk was out of the question.  It was serious mission that they wanted to succeed. I'm sure Dylan would've liked to pull out his flask while 'shaking like a leaf" but he understood NBK had to be a sober, calculated event  Also, I believe Eric gave the impression that he liked to drink but he really didn't like it, the taste, the effects. I can see that drinking would make him feel too out of control.

I think Dylan was a binge drinker who struggled with alcoholism. I think he was also a "cutter" when he drank. I also think he was drinking more than Eric during the "basement tapes" and that's why he is able to overcome his shyness and let a peek at the killer within open up.

Drinking was part of his persona and a genuine form of escape, but he seemed rational enough to realize he had a potential problem with it. His brother probably got him started.

I think Dylan wanted to be sober for NBK and maybe even a good while before because he was really looking forward to the moment and didn't want it dulled by drugs. I think Eric was just a sober guy who didn't like drugs or drink at all. He can't even inhale a cigarette in the "Radioactive Clothing" vid and Dylan laughs at him for looking so "gay." Violence and power in all their forms provided Eric's "drugs," I think.

InFiNiNcEX5 wrote:

I think given that Dylan was shy, he liked that alcohol made him feel less anxious and uninhibited. I think when he downed that bottle of Vodka with friends and acquired the nick "VoDkA" he coveted that. He completely owned the name in his journal.  But never really expected anyone would call him it the way Eric demanded people call him REB.  It's hard to say how much Dylan drank or how much he drank by himself.  Some tend to think he drank and wrote in his journals the majority of the time but actually that's surmising.  How would we really know that unless we asked Zack or Robyn since they called him the most every evening. ;) He only mentioned the screwdriver one time in his journal and that was at the beginning.  I think both agreed that they wanted to be clear headed as possible on 4/20 and so getting tipsy or drunk was out of the question.  It was serious mission that they wanted to succeed. I'm sure Dylan would've liked to pull out his flask while 'shaking like a leaf" but he understood NBK had to be a sober, calculated event  Also, I believe Eric gave the impression that he liked to drink but he really didn't like it, the taste, the effects. I can see that drinking would make him feel too out of control.

Where did the name REB come about? Was it something to do with the rebel news network at CHS?

InFiNiNcEX5 wrote:

I think given that Dylan was shy, he liked that alcohol made him feel less anxious and uninhibited. I think when he downed that bottle of Vodka with friends and acquired the nick "VoDkA" he coveted that. He completely owned the name in his journal.  But never really expected anyone would call him it the way Eric demanded people call him REB.  It's hard to say how much Dylan drank or how much he drank by himself.  Some tend to think he drank and wrote in his journals the majority of the time but actually that's surmising.  How would we really know that unless we asked Zack or Robyn since they called him the most every evening. ;) He only mentioned the screwdriver one time in his journal and that was at the beginning.  I think both agreed that they wanted to be clear headed as possible on 4/20 and so getting tipsy or drunk was out of the question.  It was serious mission that they wanted to succeed. I'm sure Dylan would've liked to pull out his flask while 'shaking like a leaf" but he understood NBK had to be a sober, calculated event  Also, I believe Eric gave the impression that he liked to drink but he really didn't like it, the taste, the effects. I can see that drinking would make him feel too out of control.

rik75 wrote:

Where did the name REB come about? Was it something to do with the rebel news network at CHS?

It seems likely Eric may have seen himself in the The (Columbine) Rebels in some perverted, opposite fashion as going against the societal structure of school he came to hate but I doubt he admit or give CHS any credit for his own self-dubbed nickname (in true teenage rebel fashion!)  I do believe he called himself REB for Rebel.  I think he wrote this somewhere but can't recall offhand.  Someone here that knows all of Eric's writings well, feel free to chime in. I recall reading in the 11K that many people just knew him as REB and not Eric.  After Columbine they thought it was weird finding out his name was Eric Harris and not Reb Harris.  He introduced himself as REB and encouraged people to use that name only.  This was the flip side of Eric he was trying to promote in cutting off the sensitive, more impotent side of himself, the secret dichotomy that didn't want to abide by rules, regulations, saying "yes, sir/m'am", going to college and falling in line with society in general.  I would speculate it was born out of being raised in a military family and having to abide by patriarchal tight rules and having to move to other states a number of times for the greater good of the family, which he hated and could not put his foot down and say "no!, _I_ don't want to". He had no voice, REB made him feel as though he was finding one at last.  But that's just my psychological hypothesis...

gustopoet wrote:

Drinking was part of his persona and a genuine form of escape, but he seemed rational enough to realize he had a potential problem with it. His brother probably got him started.

I like your point here. I think his brother's own drug problem was a double edged sword for Dylan when it came to his natural propensity for alcohol.  In Dylan's diversion report he mentions that his own brother introduced and invited him to experiment, a permissive message as it's coming from within your own family member.  On the flip side, Dylan was aware enough to see the dangers of getting sucked in to substances.  He saw what a loser lifestyle Bryon was rapidly acquiring and that his parent's kicked his own brother out of the house.  Dylan knew, for the most part, it wasn't smart road to take.  He also probably rationalized that drugs were worse than alcohol.  I think you're right that he did binge when alcohol was easily available to him, he toyed with it, walking on that fine line, but he also tried to pull back and curb the desire not give in totally. If he had continued on and not gone through with the goal of NBK, and being sober enough for it, I'm sure he would have been wallowing in downer moods and eventually becoming more dependent on alcohol to help him cope with a variety of issues in his life as well as to numb the anxiety and shyness.

InFiNiNcEX5 wrote:

It seems likely Eric may have seen himself in the The (Columbine) Rebels in some perverted, opposite fashion as going against the societal structure of school he came to hate

And also...wished he could rule. Taking the school's team-name as his own is a power-totem as well. A direct appropriation of power from the very people he envied and hated: the popular kids and the jocks.

Weird thing is you never hear anyone other than Dylan actually refer to Eric as "Reb." Not in any of the videos, testimony, interviews, books, or personal accounts. Which makes taking the name "Reb" seem even more of a sad compensation fantasy on Eric's part.

InFiNiNcEX5 wrote:

, I'm sure he would have been wallowing in downer moods and eventually becoming more dependent on alcohol to help him cope with a variety of issues in his life as well as to numb the anxiety and shyness.

Yes, when people say "he was about to go to college, everything could have been OK..." I think: obviously, you've never been to college at a big university. A lonely, suicidal guy named "Vodka" has the life-expectancy of a mayfly at some big college campus where drinking, screwing, and hazing are the primary occupations.

InFiNiNcEX5 wrote:

It seems likely Eric may have seen himself in the The (Columbine) Rebels in some perverted, opposite fashion as going against the societal structure of school he came to hate

gustopoet wrote:

Weird thing is you never hear anyone other than Dylan actually refer to Eric as "Reb." Not in any of the videos, testimony, interviews, books, or personal accounts. Which makes taking the name "Reb" seem even more of a sad compensation fantasy on Eric's part.

I recall his coworkers at Blackjacks and Tortilla Wraps stated they knew him as REB.  And yeah, in the Rampart Range vids, you can really see that Dylan has completely taken to using REB only.  On the other hand, VoDkA was sort of Eric's secret code name for him, maybe used around close friends.  It seems that Eric referred to him as just 'Dylan' in public settings. But that's just hazarding a guess based off a few of the released vids.  

Another funny thing is the Klebolds said they were very close to Dylan. They also said they were not concerned that Dylan was drinking or using drugs. And yet their teenage son's nickname is "Vodka?"

Dylan used the name all the time and so did his friends. Unlike "Reb," Dylan's nickname, "Vodka" was given to him by his friends. He earned it.

Obviously, the stint with Byron left the Klebolds unable to face the prospect of having another kid with drug/drink problems.

gustopoet wrote:

Another funny thing is the Klebolds said they were very close to Dylan. They also said they were not concerned that Dylan was drinking or using drugs. And yet their teenage son's nickname is "Vodka?"

I guess that just shows how teenagers are able to curb the use of their nicks or other personal things around parents they don't want them to pry about.  Just keeping everything generally vague the way Dylan responded to his mom about the Marilyn Manson poster on his wall  "I just like the beat and don't listen to the lyrics."  Ah, riight... Enough to get mom off his back.  I remember using that one as well about Skinny Puppy.

gustopoet wrote:

Dylan used the name all the time and so did his friends. Unlike "Reb," Dylan's nickname, "Vodka" was given to him by his friends. He earned it.

I'm not sure about friends at school but I suppose that would be the case with close friends Nate, Zack, Brooks, Robyn and Devon probably interchanged Dylan and VoDkA regularly.  I recall reading an article about coworkers at Blackjacks and they essentially said that Dylan never insisted anyone call him VoDkA but Eric was adamant that people call him REB and that he'd get pissed off if they used Eric.

InFiNiNcEX5 wrote:

InFiNiNcEX5 wrote:

I think given that Dylan was shy, he liked that alcohol made him feel less anxious and uninhibited. I think when he downed that bottle of Vodka with friends and acquired the nick "VoDkA" he coveted that. He completely owned the name in his journal.  But never really expected anyone would call him it the way Eric demanded people call him REB.  It's hard to say how much Dylan drank or how much he drank by himself.  Some tend to think he drank and wrote in his journals the majority of the time but actually that's surmising.  How would we really know that unless we asked Zack or Robyn since they called him the most every evening. ;) He only mentioned the screwdriver one time in his journal and that was at the beginning.  I think both agreed that they wanted to be clear headed as possible on 4/20 and so getting tipsy or drunk was out of the question.  It was serious mission that they wanted to succeed. I'm sure Dylan would've liked to pull out his flask while 'shaking like a leaf" but he understood NBK had to be a sober, calculated event  Also, I believe Eric gave the impression that he liked to drink but he really didn't like it, the taste, the effects. I can see that drinking would make him feel too out of control.

rik75 wrote:

Where did the name REB come about? Was it something to do with the rebel news network at CHS?

It seems likely Eric may have seen himself in the The (Columbine) Rebels in some perverted, opposite fashion as going against the societal structure of school he came to hate but I doubt he admit or give CHS any credit for his own self-dubbed nickname (in true teenage rebel fashion!)  I do believe he called himself REB for Rebel.  I think he wrote this somewhere but can't recall offhand.  Someone here that knows all of Eric's writings well, feel free to chime in. I recall reading in the 11K that many people just knew him as REB and not Eric.  After Columbine they thought it was weird finding out his name was Eric Harris and not Reb Harris.  He introduced himself as REB and encouraged people to use that name only.  This was the flip side of Eric he was trying to promote in cutting off the sensitive, more impotent side of himself, the secret dichotomy that didn't want to abide by rules, regulations, saying "yes, sir/m'am", going to college and falling in line with society in general.  I would speculate it was born out of being raised in a military family and having to abide by patriarchal tight rules and having to move to other states a number of times for the greater good of the family, which he hated and could not put his foot down and say "no!, _I_ don't want to". He had no voice, REB made him feel as though he was finding one at last.  But that's just my psychological hypothesis...

So , would you say that REB was merely a nickname of Eric's or would you go deeper and call it an Alter Ego ?

gustopoet wrote:

Another funny thing is the Klebolds said they were very close to Dylan. They also said they were not concerned that Dylan was drinking or using drugs. And yet their teenage son's nickname is "Vodka?"

Dylan used the name all the time and so did his friends. Unlike "Reb," Dylan's nickname, "Vodka" was given to him by his friends. He earned it.

Obviously, the stint with Byron left the Klebolds unable to face the prospect of having another kid with drug/drink problems.

Dylan's parents were not concerned about him drinking or using drugs? 
Did they think Dylan was a sensible drinker and druggie ?

rik75 wrote:

gustopoet wrote:

Another funny thing is the Klebolds said they were very close to Dylan. They also said they were not concerned that Dylan was drinking or using drugs. And yet their teenage son's nickname is "Vodka?"

Dylan used the name all the time and so did his friends. Unlike "Reb," Dylan's nickname, "Vodka" was given to him by his friends. He earned it.

Obviously, the stint with Byron left the Klebolds unable to face the prospect of having another kid with drug/drink problems.

Dylan's parents were not concerned about him drinking or using drugs? 
Did they think Dylan was a sensible drinker and druggie ?

Dylan showed his mother a flask on prom night and said he just had a sip. She didn't seem in any way concerned. I just thought it was odd that he had a nickname like Vodka that was apparently fairly commonly known and his parents didn't take that as a sign. I guess I shouldn't have said "obviously" but "maybe" in regard to the Klebolds and Dylan's drinking.

rik75 wrote:

So , would you say that REB was merely a nickname of Eric's or would you go deeper and call it an Alter Ego ?

Let's take a look at Eric's own mentions of Reb for a second.

In his journal:
"One big fucking problem Is people telling me what to fuckin do, think, say, act, and everything else. Ill do what you say IF I feel like it. But people (I.E. parents, cops, God, teachers) telling me what to [arrow points to do, think, say, act, and everything else] just makes me not want to fucking do it! thats why my fucking name is REB!!!"

He begins to sign his journal with 'Reb' in June of '98.

On his website:
"These are the words of wisdom from REB."
"The mission was from my house (REB)"
"I will have a tattoo of REB on my right arm"

He also signs yearbook entries to friends with this name. Couple this with the fact that almost everyone knew him as Reb, that Dylan referred to him as Reb constantly, and that he introduced himself to people with this name.. It was far more than a mere nickname to Eric. Reb was everything that Eric wasn't. Reb was the one who didn't follow the rules, who didn't fall in line with anything society expected from him, and who was stronger and better and independent and self-assured. Eric built up the persona of Reb as an aid to finally find his voice and be able to commit to the act of NBK as though it was a good thing. If it ever crossed his mind that he essentially named himself after something related to his school, he might've even appreciated the irony that the 'REB'-persona was going to destroy everything that school stood for. It is perhaps the most telling that he refers to himself as 'Reb' in the privacy of his own journal. It wasn't Eric doing the talking until the very end where we have the quote "no no no dont let the weird looking Eric KID come along, ohh fucking nooo". It is the only instance in his journal where he refers to himself as 'Eric' and it is, coincidentally, the only time in his journal where he sounds hurt and alone rather than angry and in control. Eric was the 'kid' who never got invited to anything and who didn't have a lot of friends and who was always the new kid on the block. Reb didn't get any party invites either, but Reb created a twisted sort of party for himself. Reb had the control in every situation, but Eric was always floundering and trying to connect. I think there was a very strong dichotomy between Eric and Reb that became more and more pronounced throughout the months leading up to NBK. On the day itself, there is no mention of Eric anywhere. It's all Reb-Reb-Reb. Alter ego? That's what I currently believe Reb to have been for Eric.

How very different things were for Dylan! Dylan earned the moniker Vodka/V through the experiences he had with his friends. He seemed to accept the nickname quite readily, but never insisted that anyone call him thusly. It's only Eric who consistently refers to him as V in every bit of writing. I think Dylan appreciated the rush that alcohol gave him and the possible loss of control/inhibitions it brought along. Eric was way too 'controlling' of himself to allow himself the same liberty Dylan took freely. I think the alcohol was a genuine escape route for Dylan. In the weeks leading up to NBK, perhaps NBK took the lead in being the escape/rush and rendered the alcohol obsolete. The thought of doing what he most wanted to do would've been all the kick he needed.

I think that Zack was the one who told LE that he thought that Dylan had problems with alcohol.

InFiNiNcEX5 wrote:

It seems likely Eric may have seen himself in the The (Columbine) Rebels in some perverted, opposite fashion as going against the societal structure of school he came to hate but I doubt he admit or give CHS any credit for his own self-dubbed nickname (in true teenage rebel fashion!)  I do believe he called himself REB for Rebel.  I think he wrote this somewhere but can't recall offhand.  Someone here that knows all of Eric's writings well, feel free to chime in. I recall reading in the 11K that many people just knew him as REB and not Eric.  After Columbine they thought it was weird finding out his name was Eric Harris and not Reb Harris.  He introduced himself as REB and encouraged people to use that name only.  This was the flip side of Eric he was trying to promote in cutting off the sensitive, more impotent side of himself, the secret dichotomy that didn't want to abide by rules, regulations, saying "yes, sir/m'am", going to college and falling in line with society in general.  I would speculate it was born out of being raised in a military family and having to abide by patriarchal tight rules and having to move to other states a number of times for the greater good of the family, which he hated and could not put his foot down and say "no!, _I_ don't want to". He had no voice, REB made him feel as though he was finding one at last.  But that's just my psychological hypothesis...

rik75 wrote:

So , would you say that REB was merely a nickname of Eric's or would you go deeper and call it an Alter Ego ?

Looks like thedragonrampant beat me to the punch with your question and she did a damn fine job of crystalizing my thoughts above perfectly/eloquently and included Eric quotes - yay!

thedragonrampant wrote:

Let's take a look at Eric's own mentions of Reb for a second.

In his journal:
"One big fucking problem Is people telling me what to fuckin do, think, say, act, and everything else. Ill do what you say IF I feel like it. But people (I.E. parents, cops, God, teachers) telling me what to [arrow points to do, think, say, act, and everything else] just makes me not want to fucking do it! thats why my fucking name is REB!!!"

He begins to sign his journal with 'Reb' in June of '98.

On his website:
"These are the words of wisdom from REB."
"The mission was from my house (REB)"
"I will have a tattoo of REB on my right arm"

He also signs yearbook entries to friends with this name. Couple this with the fact that almost everyone knew him as Reb, that Dylan referred to him as Reb constantly, and that he introduced himself to people with this name.. :)It was far more than a mere nickname to Eric. Reb was everything that Eric wasn't. Reb was the one who didn't follow the rules, who didn't fall in line with anything society expected from him, and who was stronger and better and independent and self-assured. Eric built up the persona of Reb as an aid to finally find his voice and be able to commit to the act of NBK as though it was a good thing. If it ever crossed his mind that he essentially named himself after something related to his school, he might've even appreciated the irony that the 'REB'-persona was going to destroy everything that school stood for. It is perhaps the most telling that he refers to himself as 'Reb' in the privacy of his own journal. It wasn't Eric doing the talking until the very end where we have the quote "no no no dont let the weird looking Eric KID come along, ohh fucking nooo". It is the only instance in his journal where he refers to himself as 'Eric' and it is, coincidentally, the only time in his journal where he sounds hurt and alone rather than angry and in control. Eric was the 'kid' who never got invited to anything and who didn't have a lot of friends and who was always the new kid on the block. Reb didn't get any party invites either, but Reb created a twisted sort of party for himself. Reb had the control in every situation, but Eric was always floundering and trying to connect. I think there was a very strong dichotomy between Eric and Reb that became more and more pronounced throughout the months leading up to NBK. On the day itself, there is no mention of Eric anywhere. It's all Reb-Reb-Reb. Alter ego? That's what I currently believe Reb to have been for Eric.

thedragonrampant wrote:

How very different things were for Dylan! Dylan earned the moniker Vodka/V through the experiences he had with his friends. He seemed to accept the nickname quite readily, but never insisted that anyone call him thusly. It's only Eric who consistently refers to him as V in every bit of writing. I think Dylan appreciated the rush that alcohol gave him and the possible loss of control/inhibitions it brought along. Eric was way too 'controlling' of himself to allow himself the same liberty Dylan took freely. I think the alcohol was a genuine escape route for Dylan. In the weeks leading up to NBK, perhaps NBK took the lead in being the escape/rush and rendered the alcohol obsolete. The thought of doing what he most wanted to do would've been all the kick he needed.

I'm also in complete agreement here on Dylan in regards to the use of his nickname VoDkA.  I do think Dylan personally viewed VoDka as his badass, rebellious alter ego persona but I bet he'd just laugh and blush a bit when friends (beside Eric) would call him that name but on an internal level, it was like a badge of honor to be bestowed that nickname, like he covets it with a grin from ear to ear.   There are times in his journal, near the end of it, where he writes quotes with a black humor twist - i.e.  "What fun is life without a little death? - V"   Dylan's easy-going, timid public persona would never have the guts to insist that people call him VoDkA.  It was probably enough of a kick for him that Eric would call him V and Dylan would regularly refer to him as REB when they were alone together.  They could imagine themselves as the outlaw (The insert middle finger Columbine) Rebels together while concocting their insidious plot. (I wonder if Dylan's parents ever said "ah, Dyl, why are you calling your friend "Reb"? ;) 

Also, an interesting take that Dylan would not need alcohol for NBK because that in itself would be a rush of excitement.  Hm. I'll have to ponder that one.  I'm sure the anxiety level was high, Dylan probably was, as he said  "shaking like a leaf", dropping full mags and misfiring his weapon. He spent most of his time tossing pipebombs outside.  Don't think he warmed up until they were in the library.  I'm not sure about this idea of NBK replacing the rush of alcohol because I tend to think Dylan used alcohol as a way to calm down and relax around people, to feel happier (aka numb) about negative feelings.  I tend to think that he and Eric just decided they needed to be clear headed while conducting the mission.

InFiNiNcEX5 wrote:

Looks like thedragonrampant beat me to the punch with your question and she did a damn fine job of crystalizing my thoughts above perfectly/eloquently and included Eric quotes - yay!

Hahaha, I got a little carried away when I saw it because it's my most recent topic of interest concerning the kid.  I've been pondering the whole alter ego business for a while now, so got all excited over seeing this particular question here. Happy to hear we're on the same page with this. ;) 

Quote :

I'm also in complete agreement here on Dylan in regards to the use of his nickname VoDkA.  I do think Dylan personally viewed VoDka as his badass, rebellious alter ego persona but I bet he'd just laugh and blush a bit when friends (beside Eric) would call him that name but on an internal level, it was like a badge of honor to be bestowed that nickname, like he covets it with a grin from ear to ear.   There are times in his journal, near the end of it, where he writes quotes with a black humor twist - i.e.  "What fun is life without a little death? - V"   Dylan's easy-going, timid public persona would never have the guts to insist that people call him VoDkA.  It was probably enough of a kick for him that Eric would call him V and Dylan would regularly refer to him as REB when they were alone together.  They could imagine themselves as the outlaw (The insert middle finger Columbine) Rebels together while concocting their insidious plot. (I wonder if Dylan's parents ever said "ah, Dyl, why are you calling your friend "Reb"? ;) 

Haha, exactly. I think Dylan liked that he merited a nickname in the first place, you know? Eric took the nickname for himself, but Dylan's was bestowed upon him by people he liked to hang out with. I think he grew into it over the course of the years. Not to the same alter ego extent as Eric's turned out to be, but more as the liberated humorous darker side of himself that rarely showed in public. (I wonder if they ever argued about the nicknames? It's somehow not a far stretch for me to see Dylan roll his eyes at Eric's insistance to be called Reb and being referred to as V all the time. Dylan consistently refers to Eric as Eric in his journal, doesn't he? It's only when they're face-to-face that Dylan calls him Reb, as far as I can see..) I wonder if the parents ever even caught onto the nicknames in the first place. Given Dylan's.. I'm not so sure? ;) 

Quote :

Also, an interesting take that Dylan would not need alcohol for NBK because that in itself would be a rush of excitement.  Hm. I'll have to ponder that one.  I'm sure the anxiety level was high, Dylan probably was, as he said  "shaking like a leaf", dropping full mags and misfiring his weapon. He spent most of his time tossing pipebombs outside.  Don't think he warmed up until they were in the library.  I'm not sure about this idea of NBK replacing the rush of alcohol because I tend to think Dylan used alcohol as a way to calm down and relax around people, to feel happier (aka numb) about negative feelings.  I tend to think that he and Eric just decided they needed to be clear headed while conducting the mission.

Mhm, I'm pretty sure that you're right about that as well. I think we're actually coming at this from a very similar angle. I do believe Dylan used alcohol as a relaxant and numbing agent, and that there was a conscious decision to remain clear-minded throughout the mission. However, I'm also approaching the whole thing from the angle that Dylan finally got the opportunity to release everything he held inside for most of his life. I'm sure that there was anxiety at first, but his actions in the library really suggest that shy and easy-going Dylan let loose his rage and sorrow. There's a rush inside that which would've been pretty similar to the effects of alcohol, especially because he gave in to the negative feelings happily. He partially created that numbing agent for himself through his actions of that day. He was going to get his wish of dying that day, at the end of it, and I think that's a rush of excitement as good as any other. (I also think that the initial rush died down for both of them and that there was a moment of them simply wandering around aimlessly looking at the carnage they'd caused.. I do wonder, sometimes, what their final moments were. What happened when the fog lifted from their brains for a nanosecond and they were able to conceive what they'd done ever so slightly.)

InFiNiNcEX5 wrote:

I think given that Dylan was shy, he liked that alcohol made him feel less anxious and uninhibited. I think when he downed that bottle of Vodka with friends and acquired the nick "VoDkA" he coveted that. He completely owned the name in his journal.  But never really expected anyone would call him it the way Eric demanded people call him REB.  It's hard to say how much Dylan drank or how much he drank by himself.  Some tend to think he drank and wrote in his journals the majority of the time but actually that's surmising.  How would we really know that unless we asked Zack or Robyn since they called him the most every evening. ;) He only mentioned the screwdriver one time in his journal and that was at the beginning.  I think both agreed that they wanted to be clear headed as possible on 4/20 and so getting tipsy or drunk was out of the question.  It was serious mission that they wanted to succeed. I'm sure Dylan would've liked to pull out his flask while 'shaking like a leaf" but he understood NBK had to be a sober, calculated event  Also, I believe Eric gave the impression that he liked to drink but he really didn't like it, the taste, the effects. I can see that drinking would make him feel too out of control.

Yep , so Dylan only drank when necessary. I agree with you regarding Dylan having a zero alcohol in his system after the massacre. He had to be in full control of his senses and required a completely sober mind.

thedragonrampant wrote:

rik75 wrote:

So , would you say that REB was merely a nickname of Eric's or would you go deeper and call it an Alter Ego ?

Let's take a look at Eric's own mentions of Reb for a second.

In his journal:
"One big fucking problem Is people telling me what to fuckin do, think, say, act, and everything else. Ill do what you say IF I feel like it. But people (I.E. parents, cops, God, teachers) telling me what to [arrow points to do, think, say, act, and everything else] just makes me not want to fucking do it! thats why my fucking name is REB!!!"

He begins to sign his journal with 'Reb' in June of '98.

On his website:
"These are the words of wisdom from REB."
"The mission was from my house (REB)"
"I will have a tattoo of REB on my right arm"

He also signs yearbook entries to friends with this name. Couple this with the fact that almost everyone knew him as Reb, that Dylan referred to him as Reb constantly, and that he introduced himself to people with this name.. :)It was far more than a mere nickname to Eric. Reb was everything that Eric wasn't. Reb was the one who didn't follow the rules, who didn't fall in line with anything society expected from him, and who was stronger and better and independent and self-assured. Eric built up the persona of Reb as an aid to finally find his voice and be able to commit to the act of NBK as though it was a good thing. If it ever crossed his mind that he essentially named himself after something related to his school, he might've even appreciated the irony that the 'REB'-persona was going to destroy everything that school stood for. It is perhaps the most telling that he refers to himself as 'Reb' in the privacy of his own journal. It wasn't Eric doing the talking until the very end where we have the quote "no no no dont let the weird looking Eric KID come along, ohh fucking nooo". It is the only instance in his journal where he refers to himself as 'Eric' and it is, coincidentally, the only time in his journal where he sounds hurt and alone rather than angry and in control. Eric was the 'kid' who never got invited to anything and who didn't have a lot of friends and who was always the new kid on the block. Reb didn't get any party invites either, but Reb created a twisted sort of party for himself. Reb had the control in every situation, but Eric was always floundering and trying to connect. I think there was a very strong dichotomy between Eric and Reb that became more and more pronounced throughout the months leading up to NBK. On the day itself, there is no mention of Eric anywhere. It's all Reb-Reb-Reb. Alter ego? That's what I currently believe Reb to have been for Eric.

How very different things were for Dylan! Dylan earned the moniker Vodka/V through the experiences he had with his friends. He seemed to accept the nickname quite readily, but never insisted that anyone call him thusly. It's only Eric who consistently refers to him as V in every bit of writing. I think Dylan appreciated the rush that alcohol gave him and the possible loss of control/inhibitions it brought along. Eric was way too 'controlling' of himself to allow himself the same liberty Dylan took freely. I think the alcohol was a genuine escape route for Dylan. In the weeks leading up to NBK, perhaps NBK took the lead in being the escape/rush and rendered the alcohol obsolete. The thought of doing what he most wanted to do would've been all the kick he needed.

So " REB " was a tough guy and was in full control of his destiny. Where as Eric was the weird and weak kid.

How can a 17 year old high school going child be an alcoholic? I don't think his parents were that neglectful.

Ivan wrote:

How can a 17 year old high school going child be an alcoholic? I don't think his parents were that neglectful.

I don't think neglectful parents have anything to do with it. Drugs and alcohol are readily available, particularly to a 17-year-old with money (having a job), a car and close proximity to a major city. Kids go to school messed up all the time. Mom and Dad think you're at work, you're getting messed up with your friends. Maybe you really are at work, you just happen to be high or drunk while you're there. Weekends.

Realistically, you can't be with a nearly adult child who is independent and mobile 24 hours a day. Add that in to the fact that people only see what they want to see and it's very easy for a teenager to become some kind of addict right under his parents' noses.

As far as my experiences with alcohol addiction services, I would say Dylan likely was not an alcoholic, it seems the worst effect it really had was on his penmanship!
It would be scary though, to picture Dylan completely drunk and what kind of a demeanor he would have in that state, but even scarier to picture Eric totally shitfaced.

Hmm, I guess since he was only 17 back then it's hard to tell. I myself drank quite a lot when I was 16 to 19. Nowadays I enjoy 1-3 cold beers on the weekends but when I was younger I also drank by myself at night while listening to music/drawing/writing. I was friggin tired at school xD When I am looking at Dylans diary entries (even though his handwriting is always kinda diificult to read for me) it seems that in some entries it got worse while writing. That reminded me of myself when I was writing while drinking.

The fact that Zach Heckler and Dylan talked almost every night on the phone in combination with Zach stating he thought Dylan had an alcohol prob makes sense to me. I think it could be quite possible that Dylan was tipsy or have had a few drinks while/before talking to Zach. If I remember correctly a girl from theater class also said while chatting on aol with Dylan at night he said/sounded af he was a bit drunk.

It's not that uncommen for people with depressions to selfmedicate with alcohol.