Dave Cullen's hypocrisy

With ur sleeve. Otherwise.. MT @littlebrown Cover your mouth! Sneeze releases 40,000 germs...Read #ZOOM by Bob Berman [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

I'll admit it - I'm a loud sneezer.

Sometimes my allergies get so bad that I can soak a piece of Kleenex in two or three blows (of my nose, that is).

I BADLY think we need a different name for it, though. Plagiarism is the ultimate writer crime. @AdamWeinstein @markopp1

Worse than lying?

So I think re-using a great line or 2 here/there is fine. (And I may not even remember if I’ve used aloud/TV/written… @AdamWeinstein

Quick - let's all read Cullen's book and try to find the lines that he's stolen from elsewhere!

Biggest dogsitting surprise: I need more human walks! They did wonders for my back, and everything else.

How often do you move around, Dave? Are you holed up in your house all the time?

I'll have you know that I walk all the time ... from the dining room to the bathroom, and then back to the dining room. But I do it constantly, since I'm sitting here guzzling liquids all day!

(Seriously - I can drink a bottle of Zephyrhills in about ten seconds.)

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He does have an amazing body, doesn't he?

The master speaks (in a Valley Girl accent, for some weird reason):
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Takeaways:

1. He wrote a bunch of shit, then threw it all away and started over.

2 He organized his book around ten characters:
* the good cop
* the bad cop
* the angry dad
* the Christian martyr who turned out not to be a martyr
* the heroic teacher, Dave Sanders
* the principal
* the minister
* the boy in the window, Patrick Ireland
* Eric
* Dylan

3. Characters are more important than plot. When we talk about the characters of Columbine, we can come up with all sorts of mushy motivations and inner monologues that may or may not be supported by the actual evidence, whereas when we talk about the plot, we generally must confine ourselves to the sequence of events that actually occurred.

4. The ceiling of Dave Cullen's apartment is utterly fascinating. (He keeps looking up at it.)

The distilled essence of vapidity:
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What the fuck are you on, Dave?

He's not on anything, it turns out - he's merely drunk:
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You're obsessed.

sergeant hartman wrote:

You're obsessed.

Yeah, tell me something I don't know.

I notice Brooks have twitter. Like his tweets about video games and such.

I found Kass's twitter, doesn't tweet much though.

LPorter101 wrote:

He's not on anything, it turns out - he's merely drunk:
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I have been to that pub, shame i didn't bump into him   

I have a headache...

Touching up after cleaning lady, I discovered vacuum attachments.

Raise your hand if you've ever used a vacuum cleaner in a way that it's not supposed to be used.

So easy! haha. Nerd heaven.

See, this is why I've stopped mocking his Twitter posts. It's so easy to let him mock himself.

I really love this! RT @teacherman82 @PaulWHankins students scrambling to library to check out COLUMBINE after reading 1st chapter aloud.

I really, REALLY hate it, myself.

Hopefully at least one of those kids will read the book and ask, "Is there more to the story? Maybe I should do a bit more research."

But odds are that all of them will say, "Well, now I know the incontrovertible truth."

George Orwell wrote:

Everything faded into mist. The past was erased, the erasure was forgotten, the lie became truth.

Fuck you, Dave Cullen.

Thx RT @cinderelladummy finished Columbine. Feel like I understand more about humans and pain. I can't help but cry. It was a beautiful book

After reading his book, you feel like you understand more about humans and pain? Yeah, me too.

Cullen is a human (allegedly). Reading his book was a painful experience for me, akin to passing a kidney stone. After I reached the last page, I took off all my clothes and cowered in the corner of the shower with the hot water streaming over me - it was as if my mind had been raped and I wondered if I would ever feel clean again.

I cried many tears of pain and frustration in the following weeks.

And, yes, the book is beautiful. That photograph of the school is oh-so-tasteful.

Thx! RT @kmenconi: Just finished #Columbine. Very insightful with concrete research. Really eye opening especially the media's influence.

Reading the book made me want to bash my head against a concrete block.

Don't the Hoffschneiders (remember them?) own a concrete company? I think they do - or did at some point, at least.

I love Melissa McCarthy, but what is she doing? Tammy looked awful from 1st preview, & now 22% top-critics rating at RT.

Who's Melissa McCarthy? Oh, wait - she's that fat woman on TV.

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Now, before you say anything, remember that the camera always adds ten pounds. So be nice.

Me too—although she’s on a bad trend. Apparently she played role in kicking out Mike/Molly show runner, now unwatchable. @BrigidKemmerer

I've never watched Mike and Molly, so I don't care one way or another.

Literally unwatchable for me. I took Mke/Molly off my Tivo list. She demanded changes, & it’s been so dumbed down. @BrigidKemmerer

Dave, it's TiVo, not Tivo. Everyone knows that.

Boycott EvilAmazon where it hurts them most. #WarOnBooks RT @PublishersWkly Amazon's New Phone Appears To Be Tanking [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

That's a shame. I encourage everyone to buy as much stuff from Amazon as possible.

Dave Cullen did a Hachette job on Eric and Dylan, so I have little sympathy for him or his publisher.

All Quiet on the Western Front blew me away. I read while in the infantry, felt exactly like my life. RT @tnr WW I

So you were an infantryman - a grunt. Interesting.

How many people did you kill?

What happened, Dave? Did you get sucked into it? Did you like it too much? Davey got too close to the flame. Davey liked it.

In German, the book is called In the West Nothing New. (I would add a comma between West and Nothing, but I'm a pedant.)

How much money has Dave made from Amazon sales in time? A heck of a lot. The fact that he is against them now makes me want to be an Amazon customer more than ever. I like how he calls them "evil." What a melodramatic touch.

Okay, there's something I really want to know.

Has Dave Cullen ever shot anyone? Has he ever killed anyone?

He was born in 1961, so he served as an Army infantryman in the ... late '70s? Early '80s? That was after Vietnam, so he wouldn't have gunned down any gooks. Could he have served in Grenada?

Has he ever fired a bullet at a living, breathing person? If so, when, where, and why?

Often I ask myself, "What if all of my efforts are for naught? What if, in the end, Cullen's book retains its status as The Definite Account of the Columbine Massacre?"

The answer is that, while I hope to see Cullen exposed as a liar before the whole world, I don't need to discredit him, per se, in order to feel that I have accomplished something. If I can manage to convince even one person to take another look at the evidence, then my efforts have been worthwhile.

Ultimately, most people in any given society swallow unquestioningly the orthodoxy spouted by social authorities. Parroting the official line has always been and will always be the safest course of action. The consequences of dissent range from ridicule to exclusion to death.

It has always been thus, and it ever shall be so. It sucks, but there's little we can do about it.

"Man, I hate that Dave Cullen drew conclusions about Eric Harris using the flimsiest of evidence. Okay, back to psychoanalyzing Cullen by what he says on his Twitter account."

sergeant hartman wrote:

"Man, I hate that Dave Cullen drew conclusions about Eric Harris using the flimsiest of evidence.  Okay, back to psychoanalyzing Cullen by what he says on his Twitter account."

You took the words right out of my mouth.

sergeant hartman wrote:

Okay, back to psychoanalyzing Cullen by what he says on his Twitter account."

Dave, feel free to psychoanalyze me. I've already given you a wealth of material.

After 20-yr absence, about to try building w/ Habitat for Humanity again. Just confirmed shift this Saturday.

Be careful with that nail gun, Dave.

Signed the 1 copy of #Columbine at the @barbarasbooks at O’Hare, near gate H4. (Maybe I should let u know when I’m coming. )

Dave, I have absolutely no interest in knowing about your orgasms.

Oh, wait ... you meant something else. My bad.

It’s legal to mock. RT @AP: Fan caught on TV napping...sues ESPN announers for $10M, says they mocked him: [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Yes, it most certainly is. Everyone has the right to mock everyone else.

Wow. I had no idea. RT @Slate: It's official: No one wants to host the Winter Olympics. [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

You don't have a clue, either, but that's never stopped you before.

That’s reasonable. But my problem is that most kids bored shitless the way we teach English/reading/writing. @rpondiscio

That's why every single English teacher in America needs to force his or her students to read Cullenbine. It's the most exciting book ever written.

We turn reading into a chore, to be despised. We turn most people into lifetime non-readers. (And shuddering non-writers.) @rpondiscio

Who are "we," Dave? You're not an English teacher.

Headed home. Had really nice time w my fambly & made a big dent in dad's garden & fruit trees.

What is a fambly? Do you mean family? Learn to spell.

You made a big dent in your father's garden? When you say that, this is what I see in my mind:
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Just got bumped up to seat airline seat w extra legroom. Ahhhhh. Makes like so much more pleasant.

Yes, it does.

Do you have long legs, Dave? Are you a tall guy?

How tall are you, Dave? 6'2"? 5'4"? 7'1"?

Don't you know that Dave Cullen is an absolute expert on every possible subject? Nobody alive knows more than him about anything.

LPorter101 wrote:

That’s reasonable. But my problem is that most kids bored shitless the way we teach English/reading/writing. @rpondiscio

That's why every single English teacher in America needs to force his or her students to read Cullenbine. It's the most exciting book ever written.

We turn reading into a chore, to be despised. We turn most people into lifetime non-readers. (And shuddering non-writers.) @rpondiscio

Who are "we," Dave? You're not an English teacher.

Hey, Dave Cullen actually (sort of) praised Brooks Brown!

@DaveCullen Have you read Brooks Brown book? (What did you think?) pic.twitter.com/WRrlIGMgmF

Yes. It had some useful info. It’s one high school kid’s point of view, which was also useful to hear. @shontanese

So you're actually admitting that Brooks' book had some merit? Wow.

Brooks, what do you have on Dave?

The word @Amazon makes me shudder now. #WarOnBooks RT @PublishersWkly Amazon Responds to Guild's Richard Russo Letter [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

I know what you mean, Dave. God intended women to be petite and demure. If a bitch is six feet tall, then the least she can do is wear flats!

Oh, wait ... you're talking about the company. Sorry, Dave, I have no sympathy for you. In fact, I'm rooting for Bezos.

Thanks! RT @rpondiscio: Finished Columbine last night. First-rate reporting and brilliant narrative. An exceptional achievement. Bravo.

Every time someone praises Cullen's book, Satan has an orgasm.

LPorter101 wrote:

Every time someone praises Cullen's book, Satan has an orgasm.

   

Glad to be done RT @michaelpestel happy for you. Taking me months to read Columbine b/c it's so painful. Can't imagine living it for 10 yrs+

Reading Cullenbine was a painful experience for me, as well.

By the time I finished the book, I had lost all faith in humanity. I seriously considered disemboweling myself. But then I ate a cookie and life seemed worth living again.

Thanks! RT @soyjournalista: Finishing up "Columbine" by @DaveCullen TOUGH read bc of topic but excellently done. I highly recommend it.

I highly recommend that you shut the fuck up.

Sorry - I'm being an asshole. That was unwarranted. You are an imbecile, of course, but I should be polite enough to refrain from telling you what you are.

It's the sugar - I've been eating cookies and they're messing me up. Sugar makes me hyper, and when I get hyper, I get nasty.

[takes a deep breath]

There. Now I'm all Zen again.

Groupon has a 60% off sale on Dragon NaturallySpeaking, so I'm going to try it again, to dictate copy.

Oh, for fuck's sake, just be a man and admit it: You're mesmerized by the sound of your own voice, aren't you?

By the way, I never pegged you as a coupon-clipper, Dave. Are you having money problems? Or are you a miserly cheapskate?

Thanks! RT @Karl_Gray1210 @ijustread #Columbine amazing book about a horrific event in US History! The years of research put in are evident!

Your enthusiasm is not infectious! Switch to decaf!

Yes, of course. RT @anticdays: is there any reaserch on the relationship between Eric and Dylan…?

No, but that's okay - Dave Cullen is psychic.

Their parents were not speaking, but I gathered what I could. @anticdays

Yes, I'm sure you did. But did you ever pause to consider that your rectum was not an archive?

East Village is so different. 

Just walking past this band on way home from a wonderful rooftop party. [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

If I were attending a rooftop party and you showed up, I'd probably jump to my death on the street below.

Not sure why that shredding makes me so happy – but it does. Or what took me so long. Oh, I know: the $20 sale.

Ah, so that's what you do with the facts that don't support your preconceived conclusion - you turn them into pulpy fettuccine. How lovely.

I recently discovered they are very healthy. Because mostly peanut. RT @sarazarr:... M&Ms are an important office supply, I've found.

I was reading that some rock star used to demand that the venue provide a bowl of M&Ms, but with all of the ones of a certain color taken out - brown, I think.

Some reporters caught wind of this and wrote a bunch of articles saying, "Oh, Mr. Big Rock Star is a coddled prick who shuns brown M&Ms. What an asshole."

But it turned out that he had a good rationale for making such an odd request. His act relied on dangerous pyrotechnics, and he needed to make sure that the setters-uppers* were following his instructions to the letter. If he found brown M&Ms in the bowl, then he knew right away that someone wasn't doing his or her job.

Does any of this relate in any conceivable fashion to Dave Cullen, the ostensible subject of this thread? Nah.

*Some might say, "That's not a word!" But I say, "Wkljklw is a word. Jfljklsjks is a word. A word is a string of letters that represents** a person, an object, and/or an idea. So fuck you."

**Before the grammar Nazis start spewing their bullshit, let me point out that "string" is singular.

New way to boycott @Amazon: I just changed my IRA fund and requested restriction of no Amazon stock. @PublishersWkly  @GalleyCat #WarOnBooks

You have an IRA fund? As in, the Irish Republican Army? You support terrorism?

Wow.

I just ordered the Bose earbuds. Bought ur argument that if I spent all that on iphone/music, why skimp on speakers? @stevensonseth

I hate earbuds.

I use these:
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Thanks! RT @jfrumkin: Finished it while on vacation, so forgot to shout to @DaveCullen's amazing 'Columbine'.  Learned so much.

Satan's balls must be empty by now.

Thank u! MT @stevensonseth: Think you have weird ear canals and no earphones fit? I Hate My Earbuds. So I Searched  http://www.slate.com/articles/technology/technology/2014/07/earbuds_that_won_t_fall_out_testing_earhero_yurbuds_stayhear_tips_and_more.html …

So you have weird ear canals? No earphones fit?

How did your ear canal get all stretched out?
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Wait - don't tell me. I don't want to know.

Really? I only use iPhone as my watch. RT @PamelaPaulNYT: ...I still feel adrift on those two days a year when I forget to wear a watch.

I used to get antsy when airlines made me turn off my “watch.” @PamelaPaulNYT

Ah, so you're one of those people who have to be twiddling with their phones EVERY SECOND OF EVERY MINUTE OF EVERY HOUR OF EVERY DAY OF EVERY WEEK OF EVERY MONTH OF EVERY YEAR.

Those schmucks are sehr annoying.

I spent 7 yrs w/ a serial breaker-upper,  & sent spreadsheet of his 22 breakups. Went over BADLY! pic.twitter.com/nUfqdlWPN9 @BuzzFeed

You spent seven years in a bad relationship? Are you that much of a non-catch?

Sorry, Dave - that was a low blow. And you'd know all about blowing down low, wouldn't you?

I LOVE him! RT @BuzzFeed Man Emailed Wife Spreadsheet That Logged Times She’d Said No To Sex [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] …

That's the nice thing about being single ... I can have sex with my hand any time, day or night.