Comfort for H & K parents?

It is natural for human beings to try to and usually find some comfort in any situation no matter how horrible it is. For many, that is one of the few things that gives them the strength to keep on living after tragedy strikes them. If you were E&D's parents would comfort could find in the situation if any? What comfort do you think their parents have managed to find?

I think that both families find comfort in the people that love them and try to understand them, although in their country many people wish them the worse, there was and is still love and compasion around them and there is love and compasion too for Eric and Dylan. Everything sounds like a situation that anyone would stand, but fortunately, they could go on and werent so alone.

I think the fact that they didn't kill their parents or the rest of their families like some school shooters do would provide a very small level of comfort, that their anger was entirely directed at the school would allow me to believe that the way they were treated at Columbine was almost the sole reason that they did what they did.

Also, the fact that they both said goodbye and sorry to their families, showing that they did care how they felt, loved them and were apologetic for the way their actions would affect their families. To me that would provide some level of comfort, however I recall the Harris' choosing to not watch Eric's goodbyes, so I guess for them that wasn't the case.

I often wonder if the amount of people who are into Columbine, from researchers to fan girls alike does provide some comfort to the parents or if it just confused them and makes them uncomfortable. But I think in an interview Tom Klebold chuckled about Dylan having his own "groupies" now so maybe he finds some humor in it.

I hope they have some definite comfort that their sons are at peace. I think if I were in that situation, that would be the only real peace I could find or that could help me keep going.

I seriously doubt that they enjoy hearing from online Columbine researchers.

They would probably rather have control over when they think about it, and not be surprised by some letter in the mail from someone they don't know.

Remember, this is not a hobby to them.

lasttrain wrote:

I seriously doubt that they enjoy hearing from online Columbine researchers.

They would probably rather have control over when they think about it, and not be surprised by some letter in the mail from someone they don't know.

Remember, this is not a hobby to them.

Far From The Tree Interview: wrote:

The Klebolds had letters from kids who idealized Dylan, and from girls who were in love with him. “He has his own groupies,” Tom said with an ironic half smile. They were heartened by unanticipated kindnesses.

Trust me, if they dont enjoy or feel fine with all those letters, Andrew Solomon would never have wrote what I posted above, in the interview, and Tom wouldnt say that. They would be honest and say that they dont like it.

Never said it was a hobby to them nor would I ever presume to act as if it is something so minimal and casual. But in situations like these there will always be constant reminders, and they will never have complete control over when they think about it. We know that at some point Tom Klebold did find some humor in it, from the interview I mentioned earlier when he laughed about Dylan's "groupies."

However don't get me wrong, I personally would not ever try to contact either of the families. As much as I would love to write a letter to either family voicing support, caring and understanding I don't think its any strangers place to contact the families saying anything, it just seems like a breach of privacy and crossing a line to me.

I know for Dylan's 33rd birthday supposedly someone on Tumblr had made a card for his birthday and was having everyone sign it to send to Tom and Sue, and I'm not even sure if I would have been able to sign that. I think it's a sweet concept and has good intentions, and while I do think maybe in the first year or two after the incident when they were experiencing a lot of hate and isolation still strangers' empathy and kind words may have meant the world, I feel like if I was in their shoes still receiving things from strangers 15 years later would be weird.

I dare say there may be Columbine researchers/enthusiasts who obsess over it and think about it even more than the parents at this point, I can't imagine what it must feel like knowing there are people out there 15 years after this event occurred who are still obsessing over it constantly, people who weren't even old enough to really remember it happening or who weren't even born yet.

In that respect, Eric and Dylan did make themselves infamous like they wanted to. Everyone to this day STILL knows exactly who they are and what they did.

PaintItBlack wrote:

I hope they have some definite comfort that their sons are at peace. I think if I were in that situation, that would be the only real peace I could find or that could help me keep going.

I do wonder though, I vaguely recall Sue Klebold saying that this whole incident had made her stop believing in god? And if that is the case, I wonder how that affects her sense of peace when it comes to Dylan. I think beliefs would play a huge role in that. Not to turn this into a religious debate, but say, if you believe nothing happens after you die, then yes I would think the boys are at "peace" simply by no longer being in this cruel world which they were so miserable in. If however you believe in the traditional heaven or hell then the question would arise that because of what they did if they were suffering in an eternal hell in the afterlife.

I'd be very curious what both the Klebold's and Harris's opinions are regarding the afterlife, and where they think their sons are today or what happened to them.

I don't know how they feel now in hearing kind communications from people. I hope they don't mind it, but can they ever really stop thinking about it? I know they must go on and live a daily life but it seems like this would always be in the back of your mind every day.

lasttrain wrote:

I seriously doubt that they enjoy hearing from online Columbine researchers.

They would probably rather have control over when they think about it, and not be surprised by some letter in the mail from someone they don't know.

Remember, this is not a hobby to them.

hopevicious wrote:

PaintItBlack wrote:

I hope they have some definite comfort that their sons are at peace. I think if I were in that situation, that would be the only real peace I could find or that could help me keep going.

I do wonder though, I vaguely recall Sue Klebold saying that this whole incident had made her stop believing in god? And if that is the case, I wonder how that affects her sense of peace when it comes to Dylan. I think beliefs would play a huge role in that. Not to turn this into a religious debate, but say, if you believe nothing happens after you die, then yes I would think the boys are at "peace" simply by no longer being in this cruel world which they were so miserable in. If however you believe in the traditional heaven or hell then the question would arise that because of what they did if they were suffering in an eternal hell in the afterlife.

I'd be very curious what both the Klebold's and Harris's opinions are regarding the afterlife, and where they think their sons are today or what happened to them.

I don't remember her saying explicitly that she no longer believed in God. She said something like Dylan changed her beliefs in everything and included God in that but I am not sure what she meant exactly. She could have just meant that Dylan changed her conception of God. I don't know. I doubt they believe their sons are in Hell. I know if it was me I wouldn't. I would think that God had mercy on them because they were just kids and they were suffering with extreme anger and depression when they died. Of course,I can't say what they believe .I just feel that is what most parents would believe and feel.

Mj2beat wrote:

Far From The Tree Interview: wrote:

The Klebolds had letters from kids who idealized Dylan, and from girls who were in love with him. “He has his own groupies,” Tom said with an ironic half smile. They were heartened by unanticipated kindnesses.

Trust me, if they dont enjoy or feel fine with all those letters, Andrew Solomon would never have wrote what I posted above, in the interview, and Tom wouldnt say that. They would be honest and say that they dont like it.

You misquoted it.  The word "kindnesses" is not referring to letters from girls.  It is referring to their encounters with supportive people in public spaces in the wake of the massacre.

Far From The Tree Interview: wrote:

The Klebolds had letters from kids who idealized Dylan, and from girls who were in love with him. “He has his own groupies,” Tom said with an ironic half smile. They were heartened by unanticipated kindnesses. At a conference about suicide some years later, a man came up to Sue, knelt in front of her, and said, “I just want to tell you how much I admire you . . .” Sue has had strangers hug her.

We are not part of the Columbine tragedy and we should not be contacting principals in the case.

lasttrain wrote:

Mj2beat wrote:

Far From The Tree Interview: wrote:

The Klebolds had letters from kids who idealized Dylan, and from girls who were in love with him. “He has his own groupies,” Tom said with an ironic half smile. They were heartened by unanticipated kindnesses.

Trust me, if they dont enjoy or feel fine with all those letters, Andrew Solomon would never have wrote what I posted above, in the interview, and Tom wouldnt say that. They would be honest and say that they dont like it.

You misquoted it.  The word "kindnesses" is not referring to letters from girls.  It is referring to their encounters with supportive people in public spaces in the wake of the massacre.

Far From The Tree Interview: wrote:

The Klebolds had letters from kids who idealized Dylan, and from girls who were in love with him. “He has his own groupies,” Tom said with an ironic half smile. They were heartened by unanticipated kindnesses. At a conference about suicide some years later, a man came up to Sue, knelt in front of her, and said, “I just want to tell you how much I admire you . . .” Sue has had strangers hug her.

I dont think that I misquoted it at all because then the letters thing and the story with that man, wouldnt be in the same paragraph with the kindness sentence in the middle. After all Susan didnt know that man either when he said that to her and most of the people that have showed kindness to them are unknown people, like the ones from the letters. I am sure that if the letters situation is something that they dont like at all, that phrase would be different and it wouldnt be mentioned or would be in two separate paragraphs, I know because I write and I know how it works. Including the fact that when Tom said that, he would later said that they dont like that and he didnt.

About send letters to them, you are right. I wouldnt do that because first I wouldnt know what to say and secondly I wouldnt like to disturb their peace even though I know a girl that have sent two letters and Susan responded her the last time, something that show how they handle the situation too because then she wouldnt respond anything.