what specific occurrence fascinates you the most?

There are countless "Wow" moments before during & after 4/20, which grabs you the most?

Two that blow me away:

-The female student who reached out to Mike Judge & shared her story of writing a letter to her male friend as she hid @ CHS during the massacre. The letter was to reveal her true love for him after realizing life was too short to hold back feelings as she prayed he was still alive. The recipient of the letter was to be Dylan.

-The exchange between Dylan & John Savage (Eric to a certain degree as well).. not just the fact they let him go, but mostly Dylan's response to John when asked "Dylan, what are you doing?"... Dylan: "Oh, just killing people"

I'm not really a person that is "grabbed by wow moments". Not one to experience much as far as emotions go.

To me its the 4/20 event as a whole. The fact taht it happened, the fact that it was two guys who had pretty average lives.

There are so many... here are two (a matched set of sorts):

Eric shooting Cassie and saying "I just shot myself" (when he smashed his nose from the recoil) because they were so much alike. Cassie had been in trouble for allegedly plotting to kill her parents and she was seemingly as troubled as Eric.

Dylan shooting Kelly -- who was his mirror image, a goth-type, introverted creative writer with varying degrees of social anxiety disorder.

Gustopoet2 wrote:

There are so many... here are two (a matched set of sorts):

Eric shooting Cassie and saying "I just shot myself" because they were so much alike. Cassie had been in trouble for allegedly plotting to kill her parents and she was seemingly as troubled as Eric.

Dylan shooting Kelly -- who was his mirror image, a goth-type, introverted creative writer with varying degrees of social anxiety disorder.

Yeah I did wonder about Eric and Cassie.

I remember someone from the old forums around 2008 who claimed not to have known E&D or been a CHS student, but know Cassie from living in the area at the time. She didn't want to sound rude, but she pretty much said taht Cassie was short-tempered, impulsive and very much teh sort of in-your-face character, much like Eric. I think in some documentary someone close to her stated something similar. My memory isn't what its used to be, heh.

Then it was Cassie's parents iirc who said that She was pretty much an outsider in school, hanging out with weird kids who were into witchcraft, satanism and "had horns on their hats" according to them etc. She supposedly even planned a doible suicide-homicide spree with some other person before her parents made her to move schoolss

Not sure, feels weird but Cassie and Eric would probably see eye-to-eye.

Weird, but I think he and Rachel, who he also killed, would also probably see eye-to-eye. Shortly before her untimely death, Rachel was said to have turned against her friends and also her BF. She was by all accounts suicidal, or at elast openly contemplated suicide. In one of the last poems she wrote, she stated: "This isn't suicide. Consider it homicide. The world you created has led to my death".

Doesn't sound like the godly christian girlscout that people make her to be. Frankly, it sounds like something Cho would say years later. Sure, perhaps its just a poem and its not Rache;l's own thoughts, just a persona used to convey a lyrical message. But I don't buy it - if a teenager writes a poem, then 99% of the time its expressing her own views.

Rachel was very suicidal. She told friends she would not live past her early 20's, I believe.

Some Christians believed she was foreshadowing her own death when the obvious answer is she planned to commit suicide, which is why she said what she said.

Lance Kirklin: "Help me..."

Dylan Klebold: "Sure, I'll help you."

That Amanda Stair was in the library and was witness to the killings....

That Dylan didn't shoot Evan Todd

browneyes11 wrote:

That Dylan didn't shoot Evan Todd

In a way, sparing Todd's life probably made him feel even more Godlike: "If I want you dead, you die; if I want you alive, you live. It's all up to me. I'm the one in charge."

That Eric mentioned replacing "Sanders" in Radioactive Clothing.

Gustopoet2 wrote:

That Eric mentioned replacing "Sanders" in Radioactive Clothing.

That was a name from Doom or Aliens I think. I don't rememebr rigth now, but it was a clear reference to a fictional marine character, nothing to do with Sanders who was teaching business class.

lol wrote:

Rachel was very suicidal. She told friends she would not live past her early 20's, I believe.

Some Christians believed she was foreshadowing her own death when the obvious answer is she planned to commit suicide, which is why she said what she said.

I used to say I would live past 25, I was not suicidal it was my lifestyle.... I'm sure there are things that we will never know about her. Maybe she drank a lot (we know she smoked cigarettes) she could have smoked weed too (not saying this would kill her or put her in an early grave in any way shape or form).... We don't know what her lifestyle was, all we have is postmortem stories from her parents and friends, and as we all know everyone is a saint when they die.

Sabratha wrote:

Gustopoet2 wrote:

That Eric mentioned replacing "Sanders" in Radioactive Clothing.

That was a name from Doom or Aliens I think. I don't rememebr rigth now, but it was a clear reference to a fictional marine character, nothing to do with Sanders who was teaching business class.

Yes, I realize that, Sab. But it is a strange synchronicity that caught my attention.

In his journal, Dylan drew a very accomplished sketch of a cart with 5 coffins in it. The cart has a harness that does not look like it is meant for a horse or horses.

Dylan killed 5 people during NBK.

The harness is his...he must lug the deaths around in Karma or eternity. Mind you I am not saying he was consciously aware of this when he drew the sketch. I don't want this thread to morph into an argument about the creative processes or whatnot...

Quote :

“Dad, why are you filming this?” Dylan asks. Then he laughs and says, “Well, someday I’ll watch it again, and I’ll wonder what I was thinking.” It was impressive dissembling, because he imparts the feeling of someone who will one day remember being dressed up, with a pretty girl, on the way to the biggest party of his life.

Dylan was a good liar...

Gustopoet2 wrote:

In his journal, Dylan drew a very accomplished sketch of a cart with 5 coffins in it. The cart has a harness that does not look like it is meant for a horse or horses.

Dylan killed 5 people during NBK.

The harness is his...he must lug the deaths around in Karma or eternity. Mind you I am not saying he was consciously aware of this when he drew the sketch. I don't want this thread to morph into an argument about the creative processes or whatnot...

Whether or not he knew what would happen when drawing this, that is really something to take in.

Do you have a copy of/link to a photo of the drawing? I cannot seem to find it. Thank you.

Hope this works:

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

deathmedic wrote:

lol wrote:

Rachel was very suicidal. She told friends she would not live past her early 20's, I believe.

Some Christians believed she was foreshadowing her own death when the obvious answer is she planned to commit suicide, which is why she said what she said.

I used to say I would live past 25, I was not suicidal it was my lifestyle.... I'm sure there are things that we will never know about her. Maybe she drank a lot (we know she smoked cigarettes) she could have smoked weed too (not saying this would kill her or put her in an early grave in any way shape or form).... We don't know what her lifestyle was, all we have is postmortem stories from her parents and friends, and as we all know everyone is a saint when they die.

It's not just that. It's the fact that if you do read parts of her journal she seems very suicidal, and depressed.

By the way to Gustopoet...wow, talk about one hell of a coincidence.

lol wrote:

deathmedic wrote:

lol wrote:

Rachel was very suicidal. She told friends she would not live past her early 20's, I believe.

Some Christians believed she was foreshadowing her own death when the obvious answer is she planned to commit suicide, which is why she said what she said.

I used to say I would live past 25, I was not suicidal it was my lifestyle.... I'm sure there are things that we will never know about her. Maybe she drank a lot (we know she smoked cigarettes) she could have smoked weed too (not saying this would kill her or put her in an early grave in any way shape or form).... We don't know what her lifestyle was, all we have is postmortem stories from her parents and friends, and as we all know everyone is a saint when they die.

It's not just that. It's the fact that if you do read parts of her journal she seems very suicidal, and depressed.

By the way to Gustopoet...wow, talk about one hell of a coincidence.

Word.

What really fascinates me is their determination honestly. On the 20th, not for a second did any of the two boys say to themselves, or actually say to each other "wow, not really how I've imagined it, too nervewrecking, perhaps we shouldn't do it? What were we thinking?" etc... It was like, the day has come, let's do it. I mean, the thought of my parents being devastated after this would stop me from doing it, but it's like, they went even pass that. Even the nostalgic good times when I was a careless kid would stop me from doing it, but how they passed through all that is beyond me.

The other thing is how they perceived death. Most people are scared of it, perhaps they were too, but they actually found it interesting, wondered how it'd be, actually looking forward to it. The moment they committed their suicides is fascinating too, wish I knew what exactly was on their minds when they killed themselves, how did they feel etc.

Fatheroftwo wrote:

There are countless "Wow" moments before during & after 4/20, which grabs you the most?


-The female student who reached out to Mike Judge & shared her story of writing a letter to her male friend as she hid @ CHS during the massacre.  The letter was to reveal her true love for him after realizing life was too short to hold back feelings as she prayed he was still alive.  The recipient of the letter was to be Dylan.

Do you (or anyone else) have any additional information on this incident? Links? That is a stunner for sure.

Great thread, btw.

Gustopoet2 wrote:

Fatheroftwo wrote:

There are countless "Wow" moments before during & after 4/20, which grabs you the most?


-The female student who reached out to Mike Judge & shared her story of writing a letter to her male friend as she hid @ CHS during the massacre.  The letter was to reveal her true love for him after realizing life was too short to hold back feelings as she prayed he was still alive.  The recipient of the letter was to be Dylan.

Do you (or anyone else) have any additional information on this incident? Links? That is a stunner for sure.

Great thread, btw.

“I don't get as much fan mail as an actor or singer would, but when I get a letter 99% of the time it's pointing out something that really had an impact. Like after 'My Own Private Rodeo' all these people wrote to me and said Dale's dad inspired them to come out. And this was when it was still illegal to be gay in Texas and a few other states. Another one that really stuck with me was this girl who survived Columbine. See, "Wings of the Dope," the episode where Luanne's boyfriend comes back as an angel, aired two weeks after the shooting. About a month after that, I got a letter from a girl who was there and hid somewhere in the school when it was all going on. She said the first thing she was gonna do if she survived was tell a friend of hers she was in love with him. She never did. He ended up being one of the kids responsible for it. So you can imagine how - you know, to her, it felt wrong to grieve almost, and she bottled it up. But she saw that episode and Buckley walking away at the end and something just let her finally break down and greive and miss the guy. I remember she quoted Luanne - 'I wonder if he's guardianing some other girl,' or something along that line, because she never had the guts to tell the kid. That really gets to people at Comic Con.”


― Mike Judge

For me its the simple fact that two teenagers from a quiet suburb hated the world (and themselves) so much they decided to blow up their school and die in the process. The planning, weapon collection, videotapes, and the general setting they picked for NBK fascinates me. Not only did they hide it all from their family and friends while appearing normal, but they chose to unleash their fury on a bunch of innocent and defenseless children. Even today when mass shootings have become a sadly common occurrence Columbine still sticks out due to its unique nature. It wasnt just a school shooting, it was a full blown terrorist attack.

Another part of it is the tragic nature behind it all. Eric and Dylan did horrible things but they were still very human. Despite being made out to be monsters they both had deep feelings. They wanted to love and be loved. They wanted friends they fit in with. They wanted to live a life of purpose in a purposeless world. When they finally exhausted all the patience they had for this world they chose a way out that would get them the recognition and purpose they wanted and felt they deserved. Why did 2 teenagers with typical teenage problems decide death and destruction was their best option in life? That's the question we all want answered and its a question that will continue to haunt the world forever.

Its kind of fascinating to me how much the events could have changed had the bombs gone off, how many more people could have died.

Also, its not neccessarily fascinating, but seeing the picture of Eric in the school yearbook with the caption that he is observing activity in the cafeteria is very weird, knowing that he probably was actually surveying in preparation for NBK, yet no one had any idea.

Even today when mass shootings have become a sadly common occurrence Columbine still sticks out due to its unique nature.

There will never be another Columbine, just other mass school shootings.

It's not just being the first of that scale for me & I suppose others, the Columbine dynamics are so remarkable.. intrigue, frustration, shock etc..

eli27 wrote:

Its kind of fascinating to me how much the events could have changed had the bombs gone off, how many more people could have died.

Also, its not neccessarily fascinating, but seeing the picture of Eric in the school yearbook with the caption that he is observing activity in the cafeteria is very weird, knowing that he probably was actually surveying in preparation for NBK, yet no one had any idea.

That is an eerie picture.

Excuse me if I'm wrong, but I believe that 'Eric Harris in cafeteria photo' In the yearbook was in his sophomore year, not junior year.

This photo yes?
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

lol wrote:

Excuse me if I'm wrong, but I believe that 'Eric Harris in cafeteria photo' In the yearbook was in his sophomore year, not junior year.

This photo yes?
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Pic's not showing up for me.

lol wrote:

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Thanks.

Yeah AFAIK its from 1998 or 97 actually.

If it was in 1999 it would haev been in color, like other Senior stuff.

One of the most fascinating things about this entire tragedy is the the fact they knew for months (some say possibly a year) they were going to commit murder and die in the process but continued to live a normal life (or somewhat normal) in order to avoid detection.

I'm not talking about cancer or some life threatening disease where you know you're going to die, these two set their own date to die which takes some pretty big balls.

lol wrote:

Excuse me if I'm wrong, but I believe that 'Eric Harris in cafeteria photo' In the yearbook was in his sophomore year, not junior year.

This photo yes?
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

It is I believe, but I think there is still a very high chance he could have been thinking about the shooting since they were planning it over a year before. Either way, I reckon its still pretty creepy.

Sane One wrote:

I'm not talking about cancer or some life threatening disease where you know you're going to die, these two set their own date to die which takes some pretty big balls.

I do think there is something quite dignified about being in control of your own death. We spend a lot of our lives being controlled by others, so it is a very special thing to me to be in charge of my final moments.

eli27 wrote:

lol wrote:

Excuse me if I'm wrong, but I believe that 'Eric Harris in cafeteria photo' In the yearbook was in his sophomore year, not junior year.

This photo yes?
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

It is I believe, but I think there is still a very high chance he could have been thinking about the shooting since they were planning it over a year before. Either way, I reckon its still pretty creepy.

Both boys were constantly doodling in notebooks, planning, dreaming and prepping for NBK. It was their daily coping mechanism. So there's a chance Eric might've had murder on his mind in that pic.

besides all that tumblr, picxx and i-don-not-know-shit - do you really think that - anthing should / would have been a symbol (/ or just some kind of metaphor...?)?

don't believe it, sorry, gustopoet (, altough i really like reading your interpreations in general).

if one is depressed, it can be fife apples - expressing as much as five coffins (a bit polemic, i guess, but... what the hack do five coffins mean? cannot get it - sorry.)

maybe dylan should have been put on medication (luvox /prozac / ritalin) himself.
if not - i don't know. have attempted some of there "self awareness"-s' shit and - luvox would have done for me (lighten the mood, makin one's self tired, relaxed, bu not "indifferent" / "not caring" (besides the first 14 days of course - read the damn manual and - uhm - judge for yourselves).

anyways - if life is as worthless, crappy and just not "god-like" as the two of 'em would have been able to really make it - why seize the moment then?

sorry - i'm just a bit depressed in the middle of the night in europe - lettin' my emotions flow, yo.
thanks for your great support by uploading the research material(s) and miscellaneous thangs, yo.

greetz
nightshiftstalker

Nightshiftstalker wrote:

sorry - i'm just a bit depressed in the middle of the night in europe - lettin' my emotions flow, yo.
greetz
nightshiftstalker

Nothin' wrong with that. Better than keeping it bottled up.

LPorter101 wrote:

Lance Kirklin: "Help me..."

Dylan Klebold: "Sure, I'll help you."

Did this even happen? I think it's just another myth like Rachel's yes, Kirklin didn't say anything about that in his interview

Quote :

Kirklin stated that while he was lying on the ground he was looking up toward the sky and only remembers seeing blue sky. Kirklin stated while looking up at the blue sky he remembers his face being jolted and then feeling pools of blood below his mouth.

Gonz wrote:

LPorter101 wrote:

Lance Kirklin: "Help me..."

Dylan Klebold: "Sure, I'll help you."

Did this even happen? I think it's just another myth like Rachel's yes, Kirklin didn't say anything about that in his interview

Quote :

Kirklin stated that while he was lying on the ground he was looking up toward the sky and only remembers seeing blue sky. Kirklin stated while looking up at the blue sky he remembers his face being jolted and then feeling pools of blood below his mouth.

The Rocky Mountain News - Sunday, June 6, 1999

Brutal Klebold emerges in accounts
Survivors say teen was no meek follower as he methodically and sadistically killed

Lance Kirklin lay on the grass outside Columbine High School, blood pouring from gunshot wounds in both legs and his chest.

A shadow appeared over him.

"Help me," he moaned. "Help me."

The next voice was a gunman's.

"You want help?" the killer said. "I'll help you."

Then he raised a shotgun and pulled the trigger, blowing away the left side of Kirklin's face.

It was a brutal moment in the brutal April 20 attack on Columbine High that left 12 students, a teacher and the two gunmen dead and more than 20 others wounded.

Today, as Kirklin struggles to recover, he's sure the gunman who coldly tried to finish him off was Dylan Klebold.

ND - what about - no news; bad news; good news - what the heck'?

'ler - zack dang it to tha PARTEI via capitalism's lovely stored penguin - rockin' frizzzzz;

greetz
nightshiftstalker

what was it again with "I like TRAINS? WAaaat!? - whooooot?"

------

alrightyyyyyy.

-----

aaaaahh!

I.like.trains - - _ _ _ -- -

cheep. cents. 2x cik. cik cik - cik. pogody? paré para su casa ya no es mi casa

conceptionaylly like eli or alien via mhs or ch or schm's RPG V30 like forumnotion via magic's musik maker - d'ohkiddonkey chunk - uh - monkey hanky!!
aaahh! jane`jone??

----

HI!

-----

greetz
nightshiftstalker

aka

g00

xoxox

x x x cik cik
cik
pogoy
haiku para heiko, hai-koo
broovy - oohhh!
north-ole, parker;

just like wise spider man vs docteur octopus

meaning google wins your NEXXXXXT

yaoo!!
yahoo...

t-shirt

like pi from tha heiligenghostfield
PAEK-er
em
eminem?
NO°°

-----

greetz
stanley c00per

----

sorry?
whom is being brei-vik!?

what is f31;33;crossroads - uhm railroad gazolina?

chili?

co o sin CARBE;

carne?

oh kay - donley kong yuuuuu

-----
serbia versus charlottens schwachere re-
flecion
flecion
;

aaahh!
reflectin' columbine plus v, REB?
and NBK

alright, okay; yo!!!!!!

------

nightshiftstalkr's take 911 v3.5 . always cc

(via sl, hh, s-h; hgw; greiwswalman(n);
xcuse me, pease -

-----
what is a maniac in tha train?
do yo thangg
and trust
in faith a. o. sos meaning annoying orange - HEY PEAR!
oh - brooks

------
what tha hack , kkkkkman??

everlasting devilish (goofoutu) JIN -

greetz
stanley c00per, yo.

greetz
nightshiftstalker -

seeya in tha mornin' star - i heart LA, seattle gaylorinÄ lordin' beelo - aaahh! caltrissa?
yay  not

...
---

-.-

vy the hey is anders vive versa vice versa goes kc and .

it has been YOU, yumeko - chan -

DAMN,

------
stan





-

Nightshiftstalker wrote:

ND - what about - no news; bad news; good news - what the heck'?

'ler - zack dang it to tha PARTEI via capitalism's lovely stored penguin - rockin' frizzzzz;

greetz
nightshiftstalker

what was it again with "I like TRAINS? WAaaat!? - whooooot?"

------

alrightyyyyyy.

-----

aaaaahh!

I.like.trains - - _ _ _ -- -

cheep. cents. 2x cik. cik cik - cik. pogody? paré para su casa ya no es mi casa

conceptionaylly like eli or alien via mhs or ch or schm's RPG V30 like forumnotion via magic's musik maker - d'ohkiddonkey chunk - uh - monkey hanky!!
aaahh! jane`jone??

----

HI!

-----

greetz
nightshiftstalker

aka

g00

xoxox

x x x cik cik
cik
pogoy
haiku para heiko, hai-koo
broovy - oohhh!
north-ole, parker;

just like wise spider man vs docteur octopus

meaning google wins your NEXXXXXT

yaoo!!
yahoo...

t-shirt

like pi from tha heiligenghostfield
PAEK-er
em
eminem?
NO°°

-----

greetz
stanley c00per

----

sorry?
whom is being brei-vik!?

what is f31;33;crossroads - uhm railroad gazolina?

chili?

co o sin CARBE;

carne?

oh kay - donley kong yuuuuu

-----
serbia versus charlottens schwachere re-
flecion
flecion
;

aaahh!
reflectin' columbine plus v, REB?
and NBK

alright, okay; yo!!!!!!

------

nightshiftstalkr's take 911 v3.5 . always cc

(via sl, hh, s-h; hgw; greiwswalman(n);
xcuse me, pease -

-----
what is a maniac in tha train?
do yo thangg
and trust
in faith a. o. sos meaning annoying orange - HEY PEAR!
oh - brooks

------
what tha hack , kkkkkman??

everlasting devilish (goofoutu) JIN -

greetz
stanley c00per, yo.

greetz
nightshiftstalker -

seeya in tha mornin' star - i heart LA, seattle gaylorinÄ lordin' beelo - aaahh! caltrissa?
yay  not

...
---

-.-

vy the hey is anders vive versa vice versa goes kc and .

it has been YOU, yumeko - chan -

DAMN,

------
stan





-

Dude, no offense intended, but sometimes I have no fucking clue what you are talking about.

alright. okay

so

no big deal / i guess

XD

greetz

stanlez harris c00per

Nightshiftstalker wrote:

ND - what about - no news; bad news; good news - what the heck'?

'ler - zack dang it to tha PARTEI via capitalism's lovely stored penguin - rockin' frizzzzz;

greetz
nightshiftstalker

what was it again with "I like TRAINS? WAaaat!? - whooooot?"

------

alrightyyyyyy.

-----

aaaaahh!

I.like.trains - - _ _ _ -- -

cheep. cents. 2x cik. cik cik - cik. pogody? paré para su casa ya no es mi casa

conceptionaylly like eli or alien via mhs or ch or schm's RPG V30 like forumnotion via magic's musik maker - d'ohkiddonkey chunk - uh - monkey hanky!!
aaahh! jane`jone??

----

HI!

-----

greetz
nightshiftstalker

aka

g00

xoxox

x x x cik cik
cik
pogoy
haiku para heiko, hai-koo
broovy - oohhh!
north-ole, parker;

just like wise spider man vs docteur octopus

meaning google wins your NEXXXXXT

yaoo!!
yahoo...

t-shirt

like pi from tha heiligenghostfield
PAEK-er
em
eminem?
NO°°

-----

greetz
stanley c00per

----

sorry?
whom is being brei-vik!?

what is f31;33;crossroads - uhm railroad gazolina?

chili?

co o sin CARBE;

carne?

oh kay - donley kong yuuuuu

-----
serbia versus charlottens schwachere re-
flecion
flecion
;

aaahh!
reflectin' columbine plus v, REB?
and NBK

alright, okay; yo!!!!!!

------

nightshiftstalkr's take 911 v3.5 . always cc

(via sl, hh, s-h; hgw; greiwswalman(n);
xcuse me, pease -

-----
what is a maniac in tha train?
do yo thangg
and trust
in faith a. o. sos meaning annoying orange - HEY PEAR!
oh - brooks

------
what tha hack , kkkkkman??

everlasting devilish (goofoutu) JIN -

greetz
stanley c00per, yo.

greetz
nightshiftstalker -

seeya in tha mornin' star - i heart LA, seattle gaylorinÄ lordin' beelo - aaahh! caltrissa?
yay  not

...
---

-.-

vy the hey is anders vive versa vice versa goes kc and .

it has been YOU, yumeko - chan -

DAMN,

------
stan





-

Can you please stop making unintelligible posts in the threads? I haven't figured out if you are intentionally posting gibberish or if you are having some kind of problem translating what you want to say from German to English?

Please try to make sure that your posts are understandable and coherent in the future or else they are going to have to be deleted as many of the members have a hard time even understanding what you are saying and I am beginning to think you're just posting spam.

okay.

sorry.

LPorter101 wrote:

Gonz wrote:

LPorter101 wrote:

Lance Kirklin: "Help me..."

Dylan Klebold: "Sure, I'll help you."

Did this even happen? I think it's just another myth like Rachel's yes, Kirklin didn't say anything about that in his interview

Quote :

Kirklin stated that while he was lying on the ground he was looking up toward the sky and only remembers seeing blue sky. Kirklin stated while looking up at the blue sky he remembers his face being jolted and then feeling pools of blood below his mouth.

The Rocky Mountain News - Sunday, June 6, 1999

Brutal Klebold emerges in accounts
Survivors say teen was no meek follower as he methodically and sadistically killed

Lance Kirklin lay on the grass outside Columbine High School, blood pouring from gunshot wounds in both legs and his chest.

A shadow appeared over him.

"Help me," he moaned. "Help me."

The next voice was a gunman's.

"You want help?" the killer said. "I'll help you."

Then he raised a shotgun and pulled the trigger, blowing away the left side of Kirklin's face.

It was a brutal moment in the brutal April 20 attack on Columbine High that left 12 students, a teacher and the two gunmen dead and more than 20 others wounded.

Today, as Kirklin struggles to recover, he's sure the gunman who coldly tried to finish him off was Dylan Klebold.

Well, this is just my opinion, but I don't think that exchange really happened, it sounds like something made up by the press. The thing is that just 5 days before this news report you quoted he went to Columbine for his 2nd interview to revisit the places he was on the day of the massacre and he didn't mention anything about that at all, and suddenly he even remembers this "conversation"… sounds weird to me.

I found this CRTF discussion on the theme: [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

"The framework of society stands above & below me. The hardest thing to destroy, yet the weakest thing that exists."
It vaguely reminds me of this quote from Lord of the Flies:
"Roger gathered a handful of stones and began to throw them. Yet there was a space round Henry, perhaps six yards in diameter, into which he dare not throw. Here, invisible yet strong, was the taboo of the old life. Round the squatting child was the protection of parents and school and policemen and the law."
And also one from American Psycho but less so:
"I had all the characteristics of a human being—flesh, blood, skin, hair—but my depersonalization was so intense, had gone so deep, that my normal ability to feel compassion had been eradicated, the victim of a slow, purposeful erasure. I was simply imitating reality, a rough resemblance of a human being, with only a dim corner of my mind functioning"

Gonz,
I think it also worth mentioning that in a September 1999 ABC PrimeTimeLive interview Lance claimed that it was Eric who did this to him.
I don't remember the exact date of the broadcast but I am sure someone could find it without much trouble.

Gonz wrote:

LPorter101 wrote:

Gonz wrote:

LPorter101 wrote:

Lance Kirklin: "Help me..."

Dylan Klebold: "Sure, I'll help you."

Did this even happen? I think it's just another myth like Rachel's yes, Kirklin didn't say anything about that in his interview

Quote :

Kirklin stated that while he was lying on the ground he was looking up toward the sky and only remembers seeing blue sky. Kirklin stated while looking up at the blue sky he remembers his face being jolted and then feeling pools of blood below his mouth.

The Rocky Mountain News - Sunday, June 6, 1999

Brutal Klebold emerges in accounts
Survivors say teen was no meek follower as he methodically and sadistically killed

Lance Kirklin lay on the grass outside Columbine High School, blood pouring from gunshot wounds in both legs and his chest.

A shadow appeared over him.

"Help me," he moaned. "Help me."

The next voice was a gunman's.

"You want help?" the killer said. "I'll help you."

Then he raised a shotgun and pulled the trigger, blowing away the left side of Kirklin's face.

It was a brutal moment in the brutal April 20 attack on Columbine High that left 12 students, a teacher and the two gunmen dead and more than 20 others wounded.

Today, as Kirklin struggles to recover, he's sure the gunman who coldly tried to finish him off was Dylan Klebold.

Well, this is just my opinion, but I don't think that exchange really happened, it sounds like something made up by the press. The thing is that just 5 days before this news report you quoted he went to Columbine for his 2nd interview to revisit the places he was on the day of the massacre and he didn't mention anything about that at all, and suddenly he even remembers this "conversation"… sounds weird to me.

I found this CRTF discussion on the theme: [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

PaintItBlack wrote:

Gonz,
I think it also worth mentioning that in a September 1999 ABC PrimeTimeLive interview Lance claimed that it was Eric who did this to him.
I don't remember the exact date of the broadcast but I am sure someone could find it without much trouble.

Unlike Cullen, I am willing to acknowledge evidence that there is disagreement about a particular point:

ABC NEWS
OCTOBER 1, 1999
SHOW: ABC 20/20 (10:00 pm ET)
THROUGH THEIR EYES

ANNOUNCER: From ABC News in New York, Barbara Walters.

BARBARA WALTERS: Good evening, and welcome to 20/20 Friday. I'm so glad you could join us.

There are two remarkable people I would like you to meet tonight. They are survivors of the tragic shootings at Columbine High School. Months have gone by since then and we may have moved on, but these victims are still trying to pick up the pieces of their lives. There's a 15-year-old who remains paralyzed and a 16-year-old who had his face blown apart. Recently, these two best friends sat down together for the first time to try to come to terms with what happened, and I was there.

How have they managed since that day of the murders?

SEAN GRAVES: I love to cook. Who knows? I may have a restaurant some day and I may be the chef. I'm not sure.

BARBARA WALTERS: (voice-over) Sean Graves was interested in cooking before he was wounded at Columbine, but now he is more focused on it. Football was his other interest, but that he says is postponed for now.

LANCE KIRKLIN: Twenty.

UNIDENTIFIED MAN: Not bad.

LANCE KIRKLIN: Twenty inches.

BARBARA WALTERS: (voice-over) Lance Kirklin is once again able to hunt and fish and even provide for his neighbor's table, but he will be undergoing surgery for several more years after being shot in the face.

He says there's a bright side.

LANCE KIRKLIN: Before I - I - I guess I was just normal, if there is a normal. And now I am - I'm pretty - really popular.

BARBARA WALTERS: (voice-over) Sean is, at least for the time being, confined to a wheelchair. One of the four bullets that hit him injured his spine and he has lost more than 40 pounds.

Lance still has two bullets lodged in his body. He faces at least five more operations to remove them and to repair the damage to his face.

These two remarkable young men, neighbors and close friends, are looking forward rather than back. They're moving ahead with an intense appreciation of the present.

(interviewing) So what do we have here, that gorgeous pot of what?

SEAN GRAVES: Gumbo, shrimp gumbo.

BARBARA WALTERS: Gumbo. Cajun food.

SEAN GRAVES: Yes. I'm pretty good at Cajun.

BARBARA WALTERS: You like it real hot, huh?

SEAN GRAVES: Yes.

BARBARA WALTERS: You know the whole family .

(Choking)

(Laughter)

Whew!. Well, thank you for getting my spirits up.

SEAN GRAVES: Oh, thank you.

SINGERS: (Singing) Columbine, Friend of mine.

BARBARA WALTERS: (voice-over) Sean Graves and Lance Kirklin went back to school at Columbine this fall despite their injuries and despite the invisible scars left by the horrors here last April.

Our interview in the Graves' kitchen was the first time these two best friends sat down to relive that April day.

SEAN GRAVES: It's hard to believe this all happened. It's confusing. I mean, it was just a normal day and then out of the blue.

BARBARA WALTERS: (voice-over) Out of the blue, gunshots in the school yard that at first sounded like fireworks or cap guns. Sean and Lance were standing outside the cafeteria with another friend, Dan Rohrbough.

SEAN GRAVES: I thought it was a game or something.

BARBARA WALTERS: (interviewing) Until you saw real bullets.

SEAN GRAVES: Yes.

BARBARA WALTERS: (voice-over) The bullets came from two sawed-off shotguns, a 9mm rifle and a semiautomatic pistol wielded by two students who would later kill themselves.

Eric Harris was 18. Dylan Klebold 17. Before they turned the guns on themselves, they had killed 13 people and wounded 23.

Dan Rohrbough was among the first to die.

(interviewing) He fell in your arms, didn't he, Lance?

LANCE KIRKLIN: Dan reached his arms out and I went to catch him.

BARBARA WALTERS: Now there you were. Daniel was in your arms and what happened to you, Lance?

LANCE KIRKLIN: Then I looked back up at Dylan and I said something to him and then he just started pulling the trigger.

BARBARA WALTERS: And hit you where?

LANCE KIRKLIN: Hit me across the right thigh and shattered my femur and that's when I fell, and then hit me through the chest, and I - I couldn't really breathe.

BARBARA WALTERS: Sean, what had happened to you?

SEAN GRAVES: I had ran for the school door and as I was opening up the door, a bullet had gone through my backpack and turned around through my spine.

BARBARA WALTERS: So you see your best friend, Sean, and he can't walk and you're lying there also shot and what'd you do?

LANCE KIRKLIN: I woke back up again and I - I can see that somebody's behind me. And I looked up and I - I asked him for help.

BARBARA WALTERS: And he said?

LANCE KIRKLIN: Sure I'll help you and put the gun to my face and pulled the trigger.

BARBARA WALTERS: Who did it?

LANCE KIRKLIN: I'm pretty sure it was Harris.

BARBARA WALTERS: Harris. Who shot you?

SEAN GRAVES: Dylan.

BARBARA WALTERS: You're sure?

SEAN GRAVES: I'm positive.

BARBARA WALTERS: (voice-over) Sean was shot outside the cafeteria. After Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold went into the building and carried their killing spree upstairs to the library, Sean dragged himself to the cafeteria doorway looking for help and then he heard Harris and Klebold coming back.

SEAN GRAVES: I played dead basically.

BARBARA WALTERS: How?

SEAN GRAVES: Held my breath and sat - laid there, my head facing in the other direction.

BARBARA WALTERS: I heard you smeared blood on yourself. Did you?

SEAN GRAVES: Yes. I knew that if I didn't make it look like I struggled and died, then I probably would be killed.

BARBARA WALTERS: And Dylan came back.

SEAN GRAVES: I heard (inaudible) on the grass - glass from his boot.

BARBARA WALTERS: So you knew that one of the killers was above you?

SEAN GRAVES: Uh huh.

BARBARA WALTERS: Must have seemed like an eternity, didn't it, holding your breath?

SEAN GRAVES: It did.

BARBARA WALTERS: When did you know that he'd moved away and that you were OK?

SEAN GRAVES: When I heard his boots leaving the cafeteria.

BARBARA WALTERS: And you could breathe.

SEAN GRAVES: Uh-huh.

BARBARA WALTERS: During this time, what was happening with you, Lance?

LANCE KIRKLIN: Oh, basically just bleeding to death.

BARBARA WALTERS: Oh, yes. Oh just basically bleeding to death. Could you think? Did you know that you were bleeding to death? Was it in your mind?

LANCE KIRKLIN: No. At that point, I was already in shock and feeling kind of like a breeze in my face against the section which was hamburger, if at all.

BARBARA WALTERS: But you were conscious the whole time?

SEAN GRAVES: Yes. Uh huh.

BARBARA WALTERS: At one point, did you look at your watch?

SEAN GRAVES: I saw that it was 11:45 or something like that.

BARBARA WALTERS: Which meant what to you?

SEAN GRAVES: That we had - I was supposed to be in class taking a test because I had studied for it and I was pretty upset that I wasn't going to get to ace that test.

(Laughter)

BARBARA WALTERS: You - this is what you're thinking, that you should have been in class taking that test, that you'd studied for nothing. Is that it?

SEAN GRAVES: Yes. (inaudible)

CALLER: There' a dude here with a gun.

MARK GOREMAN, (ph) Parmedic: And at that time, the radio alerted us to the fact that there was a shooting at Columbine High School.

BARBARA WALTERS: (voice-over) Mark Goreman and Monty Fleming (ph) were among the first paramedics at the scene. Pipe bombs were exploding around them and bullets were everywhere.

MARK GOREMAN: I tried not to look up. I tried to look like one of the ants on the ground as the glass was breaking and the bullets were flying, I just concentrated on what I had to do. We had to get those kids out.

My partner and I grabbed Sean. We brought him to the rear of 13 by his collar and his belt and lifted him as high as we could to the pram surface.

He apologized for being fat. We laughed at the time and told him that "it's no problem, pal."

We apologized for being as weak as we were.

MONTY FLEMING (ph): I returned back west of the school and found Lance Kirklin laying there. Lance's condition was quite grave.

LANCE KIRKLIN: I saw somebody from above me bend over Dan and I was thinking, you know, "Should I ask this guy for help, last time I did this, you know..."

BARBARA WALTERS: (interviewing) Got shot in the face.

LANCE KIRKLIN: Yes, yes. And he picks me up and it was Monty Fleming. And he was running with me and they were shooting at us at this point out of the library.

MONTY FLEMING: I ran with him like this.

LANCE KIRKLIN: He threw me in the ambulance, and I landed on Sean's back with my arm over my head like this.

BARBARA WALTERS: And you landed on top of your friend - top of your buddy. Did you know that?

SEAN GRAVES: Yes.

BARBARA WALTERS: You knew?

SEAN GRAVES: They had to - they had put us both in the same ambulance to get us out of there.

(Ambulance Sirens)

POLICEMAN: (inaudible) .with about 75 or so coming up the east side.

BARBARA WALTERS: (voice-over) The carnage at Columbine High School continued for more than four hours with exchanges of gunfire and the explosion of pipe bombs and other devices hidden throughout the school.

For parents, it was a nightmare.

NATALIE GRAVES, Sean's Mother: I said, there's a war going on, there's bombs going off, there's machine-gun fire.

BARBARA WALTERS: (voice-over) Sean's mother Natalie heard about Columbine from coworkers at her office. Her husband, Randy, was paged from the hospital emergency room.

Mike Kirklin, Lance's father, was at work.

NATALIE GRAVES: And when we arrived at the hospital, he was already in surgery.

BARBARA WALTERS: (interviewing) When did you find out that he would live?

RANDY GRAVES, SEAN'S FATHER: Four hours after surgery.

BARBARA WALTERS: You knew that he would live and you knew that he was paralyzed.

RANDY GRAVES: Yes.

NATALIE GRAVES: Uh-huh.

BARBARA WALTERS: (voice-over) One the bullets gouged Sean's spinal cord. The cord was not severed, which would have meant permanent paralysis. But at that point, doctors knew little more about his prognosis.

(interviewing) When Sean was conscious finally, what did he say to you?

NATALIE GRAVES: He told me not to worry, that God told him that he was going to walk again and that he will run and that I shouldn't cry. He just has to do this right now.

BARBARA WALTERS: Did you cry?

NATALIE GRAVES: Yes.

(Laughter)

BARBARA WALTERS: Do you think he'll walk again?

NATALIE GRAVES: Yes.

BARBARA WALTERS: You really do?

NATALIE GRAVES: Yes.

SEAN GRAVES: (Moaning)

PHYSICAL THERAPIST: Anything - anything feel like it's working harder than anything else? It's all .

SEAN GRAVES: (Groaning)

BARBARA WALTERS: (voice-over) Sean goes through intensive physical therapy for an hour every day. His body must relearn the functions affected by the injury to the spinal chord; motor skills and coordination. It is grueling work.

And it not only taxes the body, it tests his will.

SEAN GRAVES: (Moaning)

BARBARA WALTERS: (interviewing) Do you wake up thinking "I'm going to jump out of bed" and then realize you can't?

SEAN GRAVES: Yes. I have dreams of screwing around and having fun and then wake up and realize, well, I'm still in the wheelchair. So at times that can be hard.

BARBARA WALTERS: And then what do you tell yourself?

SEAN GRAVES: It's only going to get better.

BARBARA WALTERS: What have you learned about your son that you didn't know before?

NATALIE GRAVES: He's strong. And I'm in awe at the spirit that has emerged from him.

MIKE KIRKLIN, Lance's Father: I see what's change is that Lance is - he looks at things a little more before he speaks now. He's - he's matured.

BARBARA WALTERS: (voice-over) Mike Kirklin has been raising Lance by himself since a divorce six years ago.

(interviewing) What was it like when you first saw his face?

MIKE KIRKLIN: Very frightening, hard.

BARBARA WALTERS: Half of his face? Just .

MIKE KIRKLIN: I couldn't see most of that, he had a collar on and you couldn't see and I didn't want to. You know, I was looking at his eyes.

BARBARA WALTERS: Did you look in a mirror?

LANCE KIRKLIN: I kind of knew what to expect, but I - I still didn't know if it was real or not.

BARBARA WALTERS: For a long while, you weren't able to eat any solid food.

LANCE KIRKLIN: Yes. My mouth was wired shut and I had trach, so I couldn't talk.

BARBARA WALTERS: Tracheotomy - you had a tube in your throat. Uh-huh.

LANCE KIRLIN: And then when I finally got to talk that was a great burden off my shoulders. My dad walked in and the doctor goes, say something.

MIKE KIRKLIN: He said this is the happiest day of my life was the first thing he said.

BARBARA WALTERS: Lance, you had to go back to school with a somewhat different face.

LANCE KIRKLIN: Yes.

BARBARA WALTERS: Did people treat you differently?

LANCE KIRKLIN: A lot of people come up and talk to me now.

BARBARA WALTERS: More than they did before?

LANCE KIRKLIN: Yes. I - I guess I'm, like, somewhat famous now so .

BARBARA WALTERS: Do you feel angry? Do you feel bitterness towards the Klebolds or the Harrises?

LANCE KIRKLIN: No. I feel sorry for them.

BARBARA WALTERS: You feel sorry for them.

LANCE KIRKLIN: Because they had that much anger, that much hate bottled up inside of them, they had to act out this way.

SEAN GRAVES: I feel - not sorry towards them, but sorry that everyone around them didn't notice any changes. And if I were to start to come home wearing a trench coat or learning to make pipe bombs, I'd be grounded for life, in therapy every day.

I mean, it was just kind of hard to believe that no one really cared that much about what they were doing.

LANCE KIRKLIN: Maybe they were just doing it because nobody cared. I think that's a form of acting out for attention from your parents or whoever. I mean, that's a sign that something's wrong.

RANDY GRAVES: Well, I think what we should do is learn from the Columbine experience and .

BARBARA WALTERS: What?

RANDY GRAVES: I think now that we're more sensitive to the outcast kids and maybe the police and the counselors will take a more proactive approach with those problem kids to keep this from happening in the future. Let's learn from it. Let's not just let this be forgotten.

BARBARA WALTERS: When you heard the two boys talking today, did you learn anything you didn't know?

NATALIE GRAVES: That's the first time I've heard the two of them together reliving that day, so it was very difficult to listen to that.

BARBARA WALTERS: And life goes on.

NATALIE GRAVES: And life goes on.

BARBARA WALTERS: Yes, life goes on. With the help of lead braces and crutches, Sean Graves is now able to walk several hundred feet at a stretch, and doctors are hopeful that he may be eventually be able to retire his wheelchair forever.

As for Lance Kirklin, he still faces another round of expensive operations and his family doesn't have medical insurance.

Recovery funds have been set up for Lance, Sean, and the other Columbine victims, and if you would like more information, visit our Web site at abcnews.com.

We'll be back in a moment.

ANNOUNCER: (voice-over) You see the coupon. You call for an appointment, but don't expect to get that price.

CARPET CLEANER: And the total came to $577.27 with tax.

ANNOUNCER: (voice-over) Arnold Diaz with what can happen in your home to your carpets. A hidden-camera investigation when 20/20 continues.

(Commercial Break)

Thank you LPorter.
That was exactly the episode I was speaking about. They also did an episode dedicated entirely to Cassie the same month.

ABC NEWS
SEPTEMBER 10, 1999
SHOW: ABC 20/20 (10:00 pm ET)
YES TO GOD

ANNOUNCER: 20/20 Friday continues. Once again, Barbara Walters.

BARBARA WALTERS: Now, we turn to a story of faith and courage and murder that all came together in one dramatic moment at the shooting at Columbine High. It is about the girl you may remember who died because she was affirming her faith in God. And her shining spirit brought many of us solace as we ourselves struggled to absorb the darkness of Columbine.

But tonight, you're going to see how close this girl, herself, had come to the dark side. For the first time, you'll hear disturbing letters she wrote to a friend, letters laced with references to violence, the satanic and even the murder of her own parents.

And you will meet her remarkable parents who stood firm and pulled their daughter back from the edge. How? Well, Lynn Sherr will show you how they did it.

LYNN SHERR, ABC News: (voice-over) From her bedroom window in Littleton, Colorado, Misty Bernall can still see the high school where her daughter spent her final hours on April 20.

MISTY BERNALL, Cassie's Mother: I remember she was getting ready to go out the back door. And she was tying her boots really quick and grabbing her backpack. That morning, for some reason, I made sure I stopped and told her good-bye and told her, "I love you." And she kind of muttered, "Love you, too, Mom," and ran out the door.

LYNN SHERR: (voice-over) Then, as usual, the 15-year-old cut through the backyard to Columbine High for the last time. By 11:00 a.m., she was in the library working on her English homework.

JOSH LAPP (ph), Columbine Student: Bombs going off below us. The floor just shaked so bad, and the ceiling -- the chips on the ceiling would just fall.

LYNN SHERR: (voice-over) Josh Lapp was one of 50 other students also in the library when two students entered the room armed with guns.

JOSH LAPP: When they walked in, chaos, mass chaos.

LYNN SHERR: (on camera) Did they start shooting right away?

JOSH LAPP: Yeah. From the get-go. And they didn't stop really.

LYNN SHERR: So they made their way around the room, and they fired some shots?

JOSH LAPP: And then they walked over to that far section by the windows and shot people over there. When they were over at that section, there was a -- a girl's voice that I had heard before in the halls. And she was saying, "Oh, my God. Oh, my God." And then, one of them asked, "Do you believe in God?" And there was a pause, and then she said yes.

LYNN SHERR: And after she said yes?

JOSH LAPP: They asked her why. And then they shot. And I didn't hear her voice again.

Vice Pres. AL GORE: We remember Cassie Bernall as she stared death in the face. "Yes, I do believe in God."

LYNN SHERR: (voice-over) It was just one word -- "yes" - - but it resounded across the country. Within days, the story of Cassie Bernall's candor and commitment became the silver lining to the storm of national agony.

UNIDENTIFIED MAN: I will remember Cassie Bernall and her commitment to Christ to her very death.

LYNN SHERR: (voice-over) She was hailed as a martyr, her final testimony etched in songs and prayers and even a Web site. Cassie's admirers believe she is in heaven. But few know the hell she went through to get there -- the long months as a troubled teen who not only rejected God, but fixated on violence and suicide.

CASSANDRA CHANCE, Cassie's Friend: People need to realize that Cassie wasn't just a perfect little Christian girl her whole life. And that.

LYNN SHERR: (voice-over) Cassandra Chance was a close friend.

CASSANDRA CHANCE: The kids that actually -- you know, that killed her, I mean, she was going down that same path.

LYNN SHERR: (voice-over) Until now, that part of Cassie's life has not been told in detail. But a new book reveals how her parents, deeply devoted Christians, literally rescued their daughter from a life that had inexplicably embraced evil.

(on camera) Can you give us picture of what kind of little girl she was?

MISTY BERNALL: Cassie was a lot of fun. She was very self-confident, very gregarious. When Chris was born, she loved Chris. She almost loved him to death. She was very strong willed. She was a lot of fun.

LYNN SHERR: What were the first indications you got that maybe she was pulling away from you, maybe there was something else going on in her life?

MISTY BERNALL: When she hit ninth grade in the high school, all of a sudden, things changed very rapidly. Her grades were falling, and we were getting phone calls that she was missing classes.

LYNN SHERR: You write in the book she went from a trusting child to a sulking stranger.

MISTY BERNALL: Mm-hmm.

BRAD BERNALL, Cassie's Father: We went from the gregarious, vivacious personality to not smiling too much. Not having much to say, head down a lot of the time, generally not happy.

LYNN SHERR: (voice-over) Cassie's parents -- Brad is an engineer, Misty a financial analyst -- were becoming more and more concerned.

MISTY BERNALL: My stomach was churning. I just sensed there was something really wrong. And I'd talk to her, and she would say she was fine. And I would rationalize, thinking maybe this is just normal adolescent teenage rebellion. And yet, something kept nagging at me that there was more to it than this.

LYNN SHERR: (voice-over) They discovered that Cassie was doing drugs, sniffing glue. She was fascinated with things satanic.

BRAD BERNALL: Symbols that would imply satanic flavor. The pentagrams, the serpents and the daggers dripping blood.

LYNN SHERR: (voice-over) She would sneak off to concerts they disapproved of.

(on camera) Was there anything about the music she was listening to that disturbed you?

BRAD BERNALL: Yes. They were talking about death, suicide, glamorizing drugs, sex, hate. This music that she was listening to was sending a very negative, destructive message.

LYNN SHERR: (voice-over) Misty and Brad were desperate. Finally, they made Cassie attend a Christian youth group at their church. Dave McPherson (ph), the youth pastor, remembers his concern.

DAVE MCPHERSON, Youth Minister: When I met Cassie, I just felt that there was no hope. I remember when she first left the room after we had talked, I shook my head and I looked to my friend. I said, "She's gone. There's no hope for her." Cassie is one of those that I would consider a goner.

LYNN SHERR: (voice-over) The depth of Cassie's anger became shockingly apparent one day when Misty went into Cassie's bedroom. She was looking for a teenage Bible, but she came across a stack of letters, unimaginably evil messages written to and from a girlfriend.

MISTY BERNALL: And what I discovered was that they not only didn't respect us, they hated us. They hated us so much that they wanted us dead.

LYNN SHERR: (on camera) "Multiple stab wounds in the chest," it says, "a pool of her own blood."

MISTY BERNALL: Mm-hmm.

LYNN SHERR: "Gross and good idea."

MISTY BERNALL: Mm-hmm.

LYNN SHERR: I can see why you were so terrified. "Kill me with your parents, then kill yourself." I mean, this language is amazing.

MISTY BERNALL: I thought so. It scared me. It scared me for Cassie. It scared me for Brad and I.

LYNN SHERR: This one must have made you crazy. These are two headstones, with Mom and Dad Bernall.

MISTY BERNALL: Mm-hmm. Murder.

LYNN SHERR: Murder.

MISTY BERNALL: Parents' guts on the knife. Yeah, it was obvious that we were truly getting in their way, and that they didn't want us around and it would solve the problems to kill us.

LYNN SHERR: "Kill F'ing parents."

MISTY BERNALL: Yeah. These were kids that wanted to go to the mall that we wouldn't allow them to go.

LYNN SHERR: Tell me what happened when you confronted your daughter with the knowledge that you had the letters.

MISTY BERNALL: Cassie was so angry that we had gone through her personal belongings. She felt a strong sense of betrayal. And then she began to explain them away, "We didn't mean it. We were just joking. We were just angry. You're not taking them seriously, are you?" She was very surprised that we would take that seriously.

LYNN SHERR: (voice-over) Misty and Brad took them so seriously, they contacted the sheriff.

(on camera) What did the sheriff say?

BRAD BERNALL: They were some of the worst letters they'd ever seen. And they said that by taking them seriously, we did the right thing.

MISTY BERNALL: I was actually afraid in my own home. And it wasn't just that night. It was for quite some time after that, just feeling like I needed to watch my back.

LYNN SHERR: (voice-over) The Bernalls realized they had to take a radical step immediately to rescue their daughter. They pulled her out of public school and transferred her to a private Christian school. They forbid her to see any of her old friends.

BRAD BERNALL: One of the hardest things we ever did was to tell Cassie, "You can't see these kids any more. There will be no more contact with them." Of course, she hated us even more.

LYNN SHERR: (voice-over) The more Brad and Misty tried to rein her in, the more Cassie lashed out.

MISTY BERNALL: She'd fly off the handle and scream that she hated us. And the minute we turned our backs, she was contacting her friends.

LYNN SHERR: (voice-over) It was a constant battle. Her old friends would call and drive by, once throwing eggs at the house. Misty quit her job to make rescuing Cassie her mission.

MISTY BERNALL: I'd pick her up from school. When she'd come home, we'd go through her backpack. She wasn't allowed to use the phone.

LYNN SHERR: (on camera) So you were literally monitoring her every move.

BRAD BERNALL: We did. And every time we caught her, she got nailed.

LYNN SHERR: (voice-over) Cassie was consumed by hate and on the road to self-destruction, later writing.

MISTY BERNALL: "I hated my parents and God with the deepest, darkest hatred. There are no words that can accurately describe the hate I felt. I often contemplated suicide. And being too frightened to actually kill myself, I compromised. I would take sharp metal files and scratch my flesh until it bled."

BRAD BERNALL: One evening, after work, I was trying to reason with her. She just flew off the handle, just started screaming at me. Says, "I'm -- I'm just going to kill myself. I can take a knife and I could just put it right through my chest. Would you like to see me do it? I'll do it."

And she was just adamant. And I just put my arms around her. And I held her close. And I told her I loved her and that I didn't want to see anything bad happen to her ever.

LYNN SHERR: (voice-over) But how to save their disturbed daughter? Misty and Brad put their faith in the only source they knew, and they hoped.

HUGH DOWNS: When we come back, you'll be amazed at how the Bernalls dragged their daughter back from the depth with the help of an unlikely angel.

ANNOUNCER: Courageous parents not afraid to take a stand. And finally, in a flash, Cassie was transformed.

JAMIE PETERSON: After that moment, just her whole countenance changed, like her face just glowed with hope, with joy and peace.

ANNOUNCER: Lynn Sherr will continue with urgent lessons for any parent coping with a troubled teen, when 20/20 continues.

(Commercial Break)

BARBARA WALTERS: We continue now with the story of Cassie Bernall, the girl who died at Columbine High affirming her faith in God. As Lynn Sherr told us earlier, Cassie had not always been such a shining light. Like her killers, she had had dark thoughts of violence and murder. But her parents spotted the trouble signs, and they launched a mission to save her. They didn't realize then how much they would need the help of a stranger.

LYNN SHERR: (voice-over) Cassie Bernall was angry, alone and seemed unreachable. Until she met a new friend.

JAMIE PETERSON, Cassie's Friend: She told me that she had given her soul to Satan and because of that, she felt completely alienated from God.

LYNN SHERR: (voice-over) Jamie Peterson attended Christian fellowship with Cassie.

MISTY BERNALL: And I remember Cassie asking me one day if I could bring this girl home from school, and I thought, "OK, Christian school, let's let her bring someone home." And Jamie walked out and she had kind of a - a little bit of the grunge look and this short blond hair, and I thought, "Oh, Lord. What are you doing?"

And then Jamie got in the backseat of the car, and I turned around to talk to her. And she had these bright, sparkling eyes that just the love of the Lord shown through them. And I thought, "OK, Lord. Thanks."

LYNN SHERR: (voice-over) Cassie asked her parents if she could go on a church group weekend in the mountains with her new friend. The Bernalls were terrified but excited, allowing themselves a sliver of hope and letting Cassie join Jamie on the retreat.

JAMIE PETERSON: When they dropped us off at the church to come up here, there was kids with all sorts of different colors of hair and smoking and just -- it wasn't the environment that I don't think her parents were comfortable with and they were very hesitant. And they had a lot of misgivings about it.

LYNN SHERR: (voice-over) But while the girls were away, something happened. Jamie and some friends took a ride to savor the night in the Colorado mountains.

JAMIE PETERSON: It was me and Cassie and some other kids. And we had some good conversations about God and life. And we parked and got out of the car. We all just stood there for a minute, just in the moment, looking up at the stars and the mountains and the trees.

It was clear, we were all just overcome by a huge sense of awe and wonder, what an incredible God this is and how He has created a beautiful life for us to live. And if He can make the mountains, He can make our lives into something that is really beautiful.

It was powerful. She just broke down. And we cried together and prayed together. And it was like after that moment, just her whole countenance changed, like her face just glowed with -- with hope, with joy and peace, and it was -- it was incredible.

LYNN SHERR: (voice-over) When Misty and Brad came to pick up their daughter at the church, they had no idea what to expect.

BRAD BERNALL: Cassie climbed out of the car with a bunch of other kids. And billows of smoke came out of the doors as they opened up. And we thought, "Oh, great." And out comes a bunch of other kids that looked a lot like Jamie. Maybe we made a mistake.

But as soon as Cassie started walking toward us, I noticed something different. She had brighter eyes. She had a smile on her face. And that was really unusual.

MISTY BERNALL: She looked at me, and she said, "Mom, I've changed. I know you don't believe me, but I'll prove it to you."

LYNN SHERR: (on camera) Your daughter had written letters in which she talked about killing her parents. There was all this stuff about the occult. There was what you call "Satanism." How could you believe her?

MISTY BERNALL: Boy, it sure didn't take long. She had a sparkle in her eye. And she was so cooperative with us. She wanted to be at church all of the time. Now she was reading the Bible. She was going to Bible studies, just this total change. It didn't take long for us to begin to give her back the trust that she had lost.

LYNN SHERR: (voice-over) The transformation was astounding. So distinct, that by the end of her freshman year, Cassie's parents allowed her to transfer out of the Christian school to a public high school -- Columbine High, the one now just beyond their backyard.

AMANDA MEYER (ph), Cassie's Friend: She was almost embarrassed of some of the things that she did and wrote.

LYNN SHERR: (voice-over) Amanda Meyer was a close friend in whom Cassie confided about her life before she changed.

AMANDA MEYER: I know, at first, she hated them and what they were doing. But I think that, by the end, she could see what they had really done for her. And I think she knew that they loved her so much.

MISTY BERNALL: I hope parents will understand that it's OK to intervene in your kids' lives and to take a strong stand. That there is hope to being them out and back and put them on the pathway to being productive adults.

CASSIE BERNALL: Just being a loyal friend and a good example to nonbelievers and other Christians.

LYNN SHERR: (voice-over) Cassie's love of God had become an integral part of her life. In one of those awful ironies that makes sense only after a tragedy, Misty recalled a discussion she'd had with her daughter just a few weeks before Columbine.

(on camera) Can you talk about the conversation you had about dying?

MISTY BERNALL: The kids were sitting and talking about Heaven and how great it was going to be and how they were looking forward - I'm sorry.

LYNN SHERR: Take your time.

MISTY BERNALL: It takes just a minute.

LYNN SHERR: I know.

MISTY BERNALL: They were talking about how they were looking forward to being in Heaven with the Lord. And at that time, I sat down next to Cassie and I said, "But Cassie, I wouldn't be able to live without you."

And she looked at me and she smiled. And she said, "But Mom, you know I'd be in a better place. Wouldn't you be happy for me?"

AMANDA MEYER: Cassie gave me a letter.

LYNN SHERR: (voice-over) There was another hint of Cassie's state of mind -- a note she handed her friend Amanda on the very day of the massacre just before she headed off to the library.

AMANDA MEYER: "Honestly, " it said, "I want to give completely for God. It's hard and scary but totally worth it."

REPORTER: There has been a shooting within the past hour at Columbine High School in Jefferson County.

LYNN SHERR: (voice-over) The shooting began at 11:00 a.m. At the Bernall house, Brad, who was home nursing a cold, got the news from a colleague. He contacted Misty, who sped to the public library to wait.

While the rest of us watched the drama on television, the Bernalls lived it out, frantic for word about their daughter, Cassie, and her younger brother. Chris.

BRAD BERNALL: I stayed at home manning the phone, waiting for a call from Chris and Cassie.

REPORTER: Would you say their injuries are life- threatening?

BRAD BERNALL: Keeping an eye on the news. And we were in constant communication on the cell phones during this period.

MISTY BERNALL: I knew that Cassie would call. She's our responsible one. I knew she would call. When I was at the public library, they began to fax lists from the elementary school back and forth accounting for kids.

And then, finally, I got a call from Brad saying that he had heard from Chris and that he was OK. They would get up on chairs, and they call out the names of the injured and the hospitals they were in. Pretty soon, you're praying that your child's on the injured list, just to have her. Nothing. And what they had told us was that they were taking one final bus.

BRAD BERNALL: We waited and waited. And the bus never came. There wasn't a final bus. We stayed at Leewood (ph) until 9:30 or 10:00, decided "there was nothing to be gained here, let's go home."

LYNN SHERR: (on camera) Do you feel as if you knew that night or were you still hopeful? Did you hold out some hope?

MISTY BERNALL: There was absolutely no way I was giving up at that point in time until I knew for sure that Cassie was gone. I grabbed her pillow off her bed, and I came and laid down with Brad on our bed. And I remember thinking, "She could be in a closet somewhere. She could be somewhere hiding. She could be a mistaken child in the hospital, something. There's no way that she is gone."

LYNN SHERR: (voice-over) When Misty couldn't sleep that awful night, she woke Brad and they went over to the school. They found a sheriff's car out front.

BRAD BERNALL: I said, "Look, we're still missing our daughter. She was in that school. I'd like to know, is there anyone left alive?" He said, "No, there's no one left alive in the school." So we just turned around and walked home.

LYNN SHERR: (voice-over) The anguish of Cassie's death was just beginning to wash over them when the news of her last statement became public.

BRAD BERNALL: It gave me some comfort to know that she died for something she believed in, that she didn't just talk the talk.

MISTY BERNALL: That she walked the walk. And Cassie said "yes" many more times before this had ever happened. She was lonely. She said yes to the Lord all the time. "Yes, I'll walk your walk. Yes, I'll talk your talk."

CASSANDRA CHANCE: I think she by definition is a martyr because a martyr is someone that dies professing their faith and that is killed for their faith. And that's exactly what happened to Cassie.

LYNN SHERR: (on camera)

Is she a martyr, or is she a teen in your eyes?

MISTY BERNALL: My Cassie's a teen in my eyes. My Cassie's that girl that when I go into her room and I go, "Man, I told to you clean your room up." And she was a strong woman of faith, but she was still our teenager.

There's a part of me that's so incredibly proud of what she did. And yet, it's extremely, extremely difficult to deal with. And that her room is empty. And so are our lives.

HUGH DOWNS: All of the proceeds that the Bernalls receive from their book will go to a charity set up in their daughter's name. You just got back from Littleton, didn't you?

BARBARA WALTERS: Yes, I was there yesterday doing a story on two of the victims from Columbine High School. One man who was shot still can't walk, the other who couldn't talk for months -- and they are considered the lucky ones. We'll be bringing you their story very soon. And we should remember that 14 people died along with Cassie Bernall that day.

We'll be right back.

(Commercial Break)

BARBARA WALTERS: I hope you'll be able to join me Sunday night for a Barbara Walters Encore Special, with the singing superstar Celine Dion, with leading man Liam Neeson and the legendary Elizabeth Taylor. And does she have a lot to say. It's a revealing hour with three very diverse talents. That's this Sunday at 9:00 Eastern.

HUGH DOWNS: And then, on the season premiere of 20/20 Monday -- why are thousands of American parents turning their backs on their own children and kicking them out of their homes?

(voice-over) Homeless teenagers struggling to survive on big-city streets and in small towns. But they're not all runaways. Many say their parents forced them to leave when they revealed an intimate secret.

TEEN BOY: And I remember my mom saying when I was ready to live my life right, then I could come home again.

CONNIE CHUNG, ABC News: What did she mean by that?

TEEN BOY: She wanted me to be straight.

HUGH DOWNS: (voice-over) Connie Chung enters the lonely world of young boys and girls who say they're been unwanted by their families because they are gay.

(on camera) "Throwaway Teens," this Monday on 20/20 at 8:00, 7:00 Central.

And that is 20/20 Friday for this week. We thank you for joining us. I'm Hugh Downs.

BARBARA WALTERS: And I'm Barbara Walters. And we'd like to wish a happy new year to all of our Jewish viewers. And for all of us here at 20/20, have a good weekend, and good night.