What made you become interested in Columbine?

So when did you first become interested in Columbine? For me it was this past January. I received Dave Cullen's book for a Christmas present; yeah I know now how terrible it is. The person who gave it to me thought it was great.

So I decided ,after I was done reading it, to look up the video of Eric that he wrote about, and my first thoughts were "this is the little charmer he spoke of?" So I look through the comments and see a lot of people have problems with his book. That's when I started researching and haven't stopped yet.

I first became interested on 20th April 1999. It blew my mind then & still does to this day.

Evening of 4-20-99 when I came back from school (HS senior a month away from graduation) and saw the news.

After I moved near the school earlier this year.. several points of interest parallel my life & drew me closer to the topic.

I became interested the day it happened.
I was an angry, bitter , abused at school outcast who identified strongly with E &D immediately.It didn't take long for me to start feeling extremely close to them on an emotional level.
Although,I look at what they did differently now, that deep emotional connection I feel ro them has never left me.
That makes many people believe I'm a terrible person but I'm not ashamed to admit openly how I feel.
I admit that my empathy for the victims was shallower for some years than it should have been.I always felt sorry for them and their families on some level,but it wasn't until some years later that I really began identifying with some of them and understanding who they were and all that was lost when they died.

PaintItBlack wrote:

I became interested the day it happened.
I was an angry, bitter , abused at school outcast who identified  strongly with E &D immediately.It didn't take long for me to start feeling extremely close to them on an emotional level.
Although,I look at what they did differently now, that deep emotional connection I feel ro them has never left me.
That makes many people believe I'm a terrible person but I'm not ashamed to admit openly how I feel.
I admit that my empathy for the victims was shallower for some years than it should have been.I always felt sorry for them and their families on some level,but it wasn't until some years later that I really began identifying with some of them and understanding  who they were and all that was lost when they died.

Don't feel bad, I was talking to someone at work about another shooting that happened and I can't really remember what I said exactly, but he started going off on me about my "liberal, feel sorry for the criminal bullshit" lol. I'm fairly certain I said nothing to indicate I felt sorry for the person but meh. So oh well, if people want to think your a terrible person let em, it doesn't make you one.

PaintItBlack wrote:

I became interested the day it happened.
I was an angry, bitter , abused at school outcast who identified  strongly with E &D immediately.It didn't take long for me to start feeling extremely close to them on an emotional level.
Although,I look at what they did differently now, that deep emotional connection I feel ro them has never left me.
That makes many people believe I'm a terrible person but I'm not ashamed to admit openly how I feel.
I admit that my empathy for the victims was shallower for some years than it should have been.I always felt sorry for them and their families on some level,but it wasn't until some years later that I really began identifying with some of them and understanding  who they were and all that was lost when they died.

Given where you were emotionally at the time, your feelings were reasonable. Hopefully the people that judged you come around to that understanding as you have.

aubre wrote:

PaintItBlack wrote:

I became interested the day it happened.
I was an angry, bitter , abused at school outcast who identified  strongly with E &D immediately.It didn't take long for me to start feeling extremely close to them on an emotional level.
Although,I look at what they did differently now, that deep emotional connection I feel ro them has never left me.
That makes many people believe I'm a terrible person but I'm not ashamed to admit openly how I feel.
I admit that my empathy for the victims was shallower for some years than it should have been.I always felt sorry for them and their families on some level,but it wasn't until some years later that I really began identifying with some of them and understanding  who they were and all that was lost when they died.

Don't feel bad, I was talking to someone at work about another shooting that happened and I can't really remember what I said exactly, but he started going off on me about my "liberal, feel sorry for the criminal bullshit" lol.  I'm fairly certain I said nothing to indicate I felt sorry for the person but meh. So oh well, if people want to think your a terrible person let em, it doesn't make you one.

Ok, now I remember some of what I said, it was along the lines of, "we shouldn't jump to conclusions on this person and just write them off as a lunatic and that nothing could be done anyway, so let's go get some more guns and carry them everywhere yada yada yada. Anyway, so yeah I've basically been called a terrible person too.

And I'm sorry for what you went through. Take comfort where you can find it, life is short.

Thank you aubre.I have noticed that if you hold an opinion outside the norm, people often become very offended.
I have no idea how you feel about many shooters or criminals but if you feel any sympathy or don't see them as evil incarnate, and dare to actually say and write that somewhere prepare for a flood of hostility.

aubre wrote:

PaintItBlack wrote:

I became interested the day it happened.
I was an angry, bitter , abused at school outcast who identified  strongly with E &D immediately.It didn't take long for me to start feeling extremely close to them on an emotional level.
Although,I look at what they did differently now, that deep emotional connection I feel ro them has never left me.
That makes many people believe I'm a terrible person but I'm not ashamed to admit openly how I feel.
I admit that my empathy for the victims was shallower for some years than it should have been.I always felt sorry for them and their families on some level,but it wasn't until some years later that I really began identifying with some of them and understanding  who they were and all that was lost when they died.

Don't feel bad, I was talking to someone at work about another shooting that happened and I can't really remember what I said exactly, but he started going off on me about my "liberal, feel sorry for the criminal bullshit" lol.  I'm fairly certain I said nothing to indicate I felt sorry for the person but meh. So oh well, if people want to think your a terrible person let em, it doesn't make you one.

Thank you for your support Father of Two.
I don't think they have a I don't think a lot of people ever will.
To many people if you have some liking or are an admitted sympathizer to someone who has killed, it doesn't matter who you are or anything else about you.You're just a bad person period.
I have pretty much gotten used to this but it does get to me sometimes because the people judging me as such don't really know me, but I understand this is how it will always be.

Fatheroftwo wrote:

PaintItBlack wrote:

I became interested the day it happened.
I was an angry, bitter , abused at school outcast who identified  strongly with E &D immediately.It didn't take long for me to start feeling extremely close to them on an emotional level.
Although,I look at what they did differently now, that deep emotional connection I feel ro them has never left me.
That makes many people believe I'm a terrible person but I'm not ashamed to admit openly how I feel.
I admit that my empathy for the victims was shallower for some years than it should have been.I always felt sorry for them and their families on some level,but it wasn't until some years later that I really began identifying with some of them and understanding  who they were and all that was lost when they died.

Given where you were emotionally at the time, your feelings were reasonable.  Hopefully the people that judged you come around to that understanding as you have.

Thanks Aubre.I'm still deeply affected by what I went through and people often don't understand why as an adult now I just can't get over it and move on.I guess it can be hard for someone to understand if they haven't been through it.So many people still see bullying and humiliation as "character building". "It's just part of growing up and kids being kids." "Its a good things because it forces kids to toughen up." I realize it will never stop but humiliation and bullying should not be part of the life of any kid ever.
Its very sad and discouraging that despite a lot of talk amd so called changes nothing ever seems to fundamentally change.

aubre wrote:

aubre wrote:

PaintItBlack wrote:

I became interested the day it happened.
I was an angry, bitter , abused at school outcast who identified  strongly with E &D immediately.It didn't take long for me to start feeling extremely close to them on an emotional level.
Although,I look at what they did differently now, that deep emotional connection I feel ro them has never left me.
That makes many people believe I'm a terrible person but I'm not ashamed to admit openly how I feel.
I admit that my empathy for the victims was shallower for some years than it should have been.I always felt sorry for them and their families on some level,but it wasn't until some years later that I really began identifying with some of them and understanding  who they were and all that was lost when they died.

Don't feel bad, I was talking to someone at work about another shooting that happened and I can't really remember what I said exactly, but he started going off on me about my "liberal, feel sorry for the criminal bullshit" lol.  I'm fairly certain I said nothing to indicate I felt sorry for the person but meh. So oh well, if people want to think your a terrible person let em, it doesn't make you one.

Ok, now I remember some of what I said, it was along the lines of, "we shouldn't jump to conclusions on this person and just write them off as a lunatic and that nothing could be done anyway, so let's go get some more guns and carry them everywhere yada yada yada. Anyway, so yeah I've basically been called a terrible person too.

And I'm sorry for what you went through. Take comfort where you can find it, life is short.

PaintItBlack wrote:

Thanks Aubre.I'm still deeply affected by what I went through and people often don't understand why as an adult now I just can't get over it and move on.I guess it can be hard for someone to understand if they haven't been through it.So many people still see bullying and humiliation as "character building". "It's just part of growing up and kids being kids." "Its a good things because it forces kids to toughen up." I realize it will never stop but humiliation and bullying should not be part of the life of any kid ever.
Its very sad and discouraging that despite a lot of talk amd so called changes nothing ever seems to fundamentally change.

aubre wrote:

aubre wrote:

PaintItBlack wrote:

I became interested the day it happened.
I was an angry, bitter , abused at school outcast who identified  strongly with E &D immediately.It didn't take long for me to start feeling extremely close to them on an emotional level.
Although,I look at what they did differently now, that deep emotional connection I feel ro them has never left me.
That makes many people believe I'm a terrible person but I'm not ashamed to admit openly how I feel.
I admit that my empathy for the victims was shallower for some years than it should have been.I always felt sorry for them and their families on some level,but it wasn't until some years later that I really began identifying with some of them and understanding  who they were and all that was lost when they died.

Don't feel bad, I was talking to someone at work about another shooting that happened and I can't really remember what I said exactly, but he started going off on me about my "liberal, feel sorry for the criminal bullshit" lol.  I'm fairly certain I said nothing to indicate I felt sorry for the person but meh. So oh well, if people want to think your a terrible person let em, it doesn't make you one.

Ok, now I remember some of what I said, it was along the lines of, "we shouldn't jump to conclusions on this person and just write them off as a lunatic and that nothing could be done anyway, so let's go get some more guns and carry them everywhere yada yada yada. Anyway, so yeah I've basically been called a terrible person too.

And I'm sorry for what you went through. Take comfort where you can find it, life is short.

I think bullying creates complexes in kids, I think it can fundamentally scar someone if extreme enough. I also think adults tend to forget how really devastating bullying can be to a kid. We've grown up, therefore, we've learned not to let things get to us as much, so we tell kids to tough it out, it's no big deal(not me personally, but people in general). I think it should be addressed as  more serious problem than it is now. I do think teaching the kids who are being bullied better self- esteem is an important step. I also think teaching the bullies better self- esteem would be important too, main reason people do that kind of shit is to boost themselves up.

I discovered Columbine in 2009, shortly after the 10th year anniversary. I actually discovered the shootings when I was reading about other stories of teenagers who had committed suicide as a result of prolonged bullying (Bullycide), most notably the story of Ryan Halligan. Back in the day, I was contemplating my own suicide as a result of my lowered self-esteem caused by lifelong bullying from my peers at school, I was forced to put-up with their shit every single day, and I felt hopeless because of it. Columbine gave me an insight into bullied teenagers and how they retaliate as a consequence of built-up anger.

I remember feeling fascinated, particularly how I related to Eric and Dylan (I've had ketchup squirted on me before, I'm not even making that up.) And then I discovered more shootings and such, and that set me off to become fixated on mass murder. That's how I got to where I am today, an introverted loser sitting in a dark room on his computer fascinating over violent crimes.

After reading the book "She Said Yes" as a class assignment in 8th grade. As harsh as it may sound, the only part I found interesting in the book was Cassie's mom explaining what was happening on 4/20. It was very sad to read as you could imagine what it must feel like to lose your child, but it had me interested in what else happened that day.

When Columbine happened, I was 11, and living in Northern Europe, the news didn't really hit me. I might have read about it in a newspaper, but I'm not sure.

The general perspective in Europe is that shootings happen in USA all the time, so Columbine wasn't that big. It was nothing like 9/11 would be two years later.

I became interested in Columbine when I saw Bowling for Columbine on television in maybe 2003 or 2004.

I went to internet, and the first story that I learned was of Cassie Bernall's martyrdom (back then I thought it was true). I admired Cassie and I wanted to get the book, but my mother didn't want to buy it after reading reviews of it being so religious. (Funny that Bowling for Columbine and She Said Yes are both titles that didn't really happen. Should be Didn't Go Bowling That Morning for Columbine and She Didn't Say Anything.)

I remember when I saw the Time cover with Eric and Dylan's senior photos, because they looked so normal and happy. That was the thing that actually made me so intereted in Columbine. Why those two boys next door did it?

Dico wrote:

After reading the book "She Said Yes" as a class assignment in 8th grade. As harsh as it may sound, the only part I found interesting in the book was Cassie's mom explaining what was happening on 4/20. It was very sad to read as you could imagine what it must feel like to lose your child, but it had me interested in what else happened that day.

Don't feel bad. I read Tom Mauser's book, and well I did want to read about how it impacted him, I found the parts where he was talking about his family extremely boring. I couldn't help it, I kept thinking "yeah, yeah your family is perfect, now get back to Columbine please." Sounds bad but it is what it is.

It definitely creates a complex or multiple complexes.
It creates many ,many issues that can last for a lifetime.
I think the reason a lot of people don't understand this is they haven't been through it themselves or had someone close to them go through it.
So they think it couldn't have been that bad or people use it as an excuse about things they don't do well in. There have been documented cases of people out of high school committing suicide because of what was done to them in school.
They just couldn't get over it, or move past it. The people who did this usually receive little to no sympathy or understanding and are dismissed as weak, cowardly, stupid and so on.
It's not always just mental abuse either.
In some cases, there is ongoing physical abuse going along too like being punched, pushed, hit, kicked, spit on.

aubre wrote:

PaintItBlack wrote:

Thanks Aubre.I'm still deeply affected by what I went through and people often don't understand why as an adult now I just can't get over it and move on.I guess it can be hard for someone to understand if they haven't been through it.So many people still see bullying and humiliation as "character building". "It's just part of growing up and kids being kids." "Its a good things because it forces kids to toughen up." I realize it will never stop but humiliation and bullying should not be part of the life of any kid ever.
Its very sad and discouraging that despite a lot of talk amd so called changes nothing ever seems to fundamentally change.

aubre wrote:

aubre wrote:

PaintItBlack wrote:

I became interested the day it happened.
I was an angry, bitter , abused at school outcast who identified  strongly with E &D immediately.It didn't take long for me to start feeling extremely close to them on an emotional level.
Although,I look at what they did differently now, that deep emotional connection I feel ro them has never left me.
That makes many people believe I'm a terrible person but I'm not ashamed to admit openly how I feel.
I admit that my empathy for the victims was shallower for some years than it should have been.I always felt sorry for them and their families on some level,but it wasn't until some years later that I really began identifying with some of them and understanding  who they were and all that was lost when they died.

Don't feel bad, I was talking to someone at work about another shooting that happened and I can't really remember what I said exactly, but he started going off on me about my "liberal, feel sorry for the criminal bullshit" lol.  I'm fairly certain I said nothing to indicate I felt sorry for the person but meh. So oh well, if people want to think your a terrible person let em, it doesn't make you one.

Ok, now I remember some of what I said, it was along the lines of, "we shouldn't jump to conclusions on this person and just write them off as a lunatic and that nothing could be done anyway, so let's go get some more guns and carry them everywhere yada yada yada. Anyway, so yeah I've basically been called a terrible person too.

And I'm sorry for what you went through. Take comfort where you can find it, life is short.

I think bullying creates complexes in kids, I think it can fundamentally scar someone if extreme enough. I also think adults tend to forget how really devastating bullying can be to a kid. We've grown up, therefore, we've learned not to let things get to us as much, so we tell kids to tough it out, it's no big deal(not me personally, but people in general). I think it should be addressed as  more serious problem than it is now. I do think teaching the kids who are being bullied better self- esteem is an important step. I also think teaching the bullies better self- esteem would be important too, main reason people do that kind of shit is to boost themselves up.

The Mauser book is one of the very few Columbine books I haven't read. I've held off because I heard that he included a mean spirited letter in the book he had written to E &D's parents and while its his right to do so,I have no desire to see them trashed more than they have been.
I heard him say once that Daniel had never bullied or been mean to anyone, not even once in his life.
I believe that Daniel was a nice person, but I don't see how his Dad could know that or how it could be true.
Everyone is a jerk sometimes. It's the same with Kelly's dad when he said she was one person that never truly sinned.
Again, she seemed a great person but everyone has sinned in their life if they are past a certain age.
I can't blame them though.
Many people idolize their kids anyway and their
children are tragically gone. It's probably hard to admit any faults they might have had.
And I'm sure their relatives just want to focus on their positive and unique qualities.

aubre wrote:

Dico wrote:

After reading the book "She Said Yes" as a class assignment in 8th grade. As harsh as it may sound, the only part I found interesting in the book was Cassie's mom explaining what was happening on 4/20. It was very sad to read as you could imagine what it must feel like to lose your child, but it had me interested in what else happened that day.

Don't feel bad. I read Tom Mauser's book, and well I did want to read about how it impacted him, I found the parts where he was talking about his family extremely boring. I couldn't help it, I kept thinking "yeah, yeah your family is perfect, now get back to Columbine please."  Sounds bad but it is what it is.

PaintItBlack wrote:

It definitely creates a complex or multiple complexes.
It creates many ,many issues that can last for a lifetime.
I think the reason a lot of people don't understand this is they haven't been through it themselves or had someone close to them go through it.
So they think it couldn't have been that bad or people use it as an excuse about things they don't do well in. There have been documented cases of people out of high school committing suicide because of what was done to them in school.
They just couldn't get over it, or move past it. The people who did this usually receive little to no sympathy or understanding and are dismissed as weak, cowardly, stupid and so on.
It's not always just mental abuse either.
In some cases, there is ongoing physical abuse going along too like being punched, pushed, hit, kicked, spit on.

aubre wrote:

PaintItBlack wrote:

Thanks Aubre.I'm still deeply affected by what I went through and people often don't understand why as an adult now I just can't get over it and move on.I guess it can be hard for someone to understand if they haven't been through it.So many people still see bullying and humiliation as "character building". "It's just part of growing up and kids being kids." "Its a good things because it forces kids to toughen up." I realize it will never stop but humiliation and bullying should not be part of the life of any kid ever.
Its very sad and discouraging that despite a lot of talk amd so called changes nothing ever seems to fundamentally change.

aubre wrote:

aubre wrote:

PaintItBlack wrote:

I became interested the day it happened.
I was an angry, bitter , abused at school outcast who identified  strongly with E &D immediately.It didn't take long for me to start feeling extremely close to them on an emotional level.
Although,I look at what they did differently now, that deep emotional connection I feel ro them has never left me.
That makes many people believe I'm a terrible person but I'm not ashamed to admit openly how I feel.
I admit that my empathy for the victims was shallower for some years than it should have been.I always felt sorry for them and their families on some level,but it wasn't until some years later that I really began identifying with some of them and understanding  who they were and all that was lost when they died.

Don't feel bad, I was talking to someone at work about another shooting that happened and I can't really remember what I said exactly, but he started going off on me about my "liberal, feel sorry for the criminal bullshit" lol.  I'm fairly certain I said nothing to indicate I felt sorry for the person but meh. So oh well, if people want to think your a terrible person let em, it doesn't make you one.

Ok, now I remember some of what I said, it was along the lines of, "we shouldn't jump to conclusions on this person and just write them off as a lunatic and that nothing could be done anyway, so let's go get some more guns and carry them everywhere yada yada yada. Anyway, so yeah I've basically been called a terrible person too.

And I'm sorry for what you went through. Take comfort where you can find it, life is short.

I think bullying creates complexes in kids, I think it can fundamentally scar someone if extreme enough. I also think adults tend to forget how really devastating bullying can be to a kid. We've grown up, therefore, we've learned not to let things get to us as much, so we tell kids to tough it out, it's no big deal(not me personally, but people in general). I think it should be addressed as  more serious problem than it is now. I do think teaching the kids who are being bullied better self- esteem is an important step. I also think teaching the bullies better self- esteem would be important too, main reason people do that kind of shit is to boost themselves up.

There's no doubt it's a terrible thing. I do have sympathy for Eric and Dylan when it comes to that. I also think a big problem for Eric, that I think gets severely overlooked, was his sunken chest. He already felt different than everyone else, I'm sure he had to have had developed a complex over that. Add to that, getting picked on and physically abused, it's going to create some major problems. I've always wondered how much Eric's parents addressed the psychological problems that could arise from having a physical deformity?

After spending 8 years in a verbally and mentally abusive relationship (I was the one being abused), I started looking up signs of bullying in a relationship and I came across an article on how bullying played a role in Columbine. I remembered Columbine happening (seeing it on the news the day it happened when I got home from school, seeing it in the papers/magazine and so on). I read about it a little bit again in 2007 when it was mentioned after Virginia Tech happened. I never really had an extreme interest in it until the day I started looking up bullying online. This was in November/December, 2011.

I went on eBay to see if there were any books I could buy on it and of course it was Cullen's book I bought. I read the entire thing. I finished it around New Year's 2012. By then I was pretty obsessed with Columbine. I joined the old board on January 17,2012 and left my ex on January 23, 2012. While on the old board, I met [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] and have been with him for a little over 3 years now. Ivan's interest in Columbine has faded a bit over the years but we still have some pretty good intense discussions about it from time to time. It's what brought us together.

So for me personally, my interest in Columbine was a positive one. And not just that but I ended up making a few really good lifelong friends and I ended up owning this Columbine forum which I think is the best Columbine forum with a great community, but, then again, I'm probably being a little bias.

PaintItBlack wrote:

The Mauser book is one of the very few Columbine books I haven't read. I've held off because I heard that he included a  mean spirited letter in the book he had written to E &D's parents and while its his right to do so,I have no desire to see them trashed more than they have been.
I heard him say once that Daniel had never bullied or been mean to anyone, not even once in his life.
I believe that Daniel was a nice person, but I don't see how his Dad could know that or how it could be true.
Everyone is a jerk sometimes. It's the same with Kelly's dad when he said she was one person that never truly sinned.
Again, she seemed a great person but everyone has sinned in their life if they are past a certain age.
I can't blame them though.
Many people idolize their kids anyway and their
children are tragically gone. It's probably hard to admit any faults they might have had.
And I'm sure their relatives just want to focus on their positive and unique qualities.

aubre wrote:

Dico wrote:

After reading the book "She Said Yes" as a class assignment in 8th grade. As harsh as it may sound, the only part I found interesting in the book was Cassie's mom explaining what was happening on 4/20. It was very sad to read as you could imagine what it must feel like to lose your child, but it had me interested in what else happened that day.

Don't feel bad. I read Tom Mauser's book, and well I did want to read about how it impacted him, I found the parts where he was talking about his family extremely boring. I couldn't help it, I kept thinking "yeah, yeah your family is perfect, now get back to Columbine please."  Sounds bad but it is what it is.

The letter wasn't too bad IMO, I just think of how I would react, and I'm thinking It would be closer to Brian Rohrbough(minus the religious stuff) I be all kinds of angry with nowhere to direct that anger. Who knows maybe I would become religious and than blame myself. It would take a very big person to forgive in that situation. They need someone to blame, that kinda grief would be overwhelming. They can't be objective, their kids were brutally murdered well they were doing nothing more than sitting in a school library. I've never held anything against these parents. However they want to deal with their grief is fine.

The Mausers have also said some unkind things about the parents over the years but that is not really even the point for me.
I have nothing against the parents either and have a lot of sympathy for their pain and loss which I know will never go away. However, I cannot agree with some of their actions such as chopping down the trees and crosses and filing lawsuits against E &D's parents that went on for years.
Dylan's parents have come out and said that the destroying of the trees and crosses hurt them.
Dylan's dad even called it "a lynch mob." When I brought up the pain that E &D's parents were caused by these incidents the general consensus was that their pain didn't matter against the pain of the victims families' and the victims families' wishes and needs must come first and I can't agree with that either.
E &D's parents have been heavily criticized for only agreeing to meet with the relatives who did not sue them, but I can't say I blame them.
They are probably afraid of something they said being used against them and being sued again. It seems that many people, especially parents are naturally more sympathetic to the victims families'.
I am the most naturally sympathetic to the H &K families but I am aware that I am again in the minority viewpoint.

aubre wrote:

PaintItBlack wrote:

The Mauser book is one of the very few Columbine books I haven't read. I've held off because I heard that he included a  mean spirited letter in the book he had written to E &D's parents and while its his right to do so,I have no desire to see them trashed more than they have been.
I heard him say once that Daniel had never bullied or been mean to anyone, not even once in his life.
I believe that Daniel was a nice person, but I don't see how his Dad could know that or how it could be true.
Everyone is a jerk sometimes. It's the same with Kelly's dad when he said she was one person that never truly sinned.
Again, she seemed a great person but everyone has sinned in their life if they are past a certain age.
I can't blame them though.
Many people idolize their kids anyway and their
children are tragically gone. It's probably hard to admit any faults they might have had.
And I'm sure their relatives just want to focus on their positive and unique qualities.

aubre wrote:

Dico wrote:

After reading the book "She Said Yes" as a class assignment in 8th grade. As harsh as it may sound, the only part I found interesting in the book was Cassie's mom explaining what was happening on 4/20. It was very sad to read as you could imagine what it must feel like to lose your child, but it had me interested in what else happened that day.

Don't feel bad. I read Tom Mauser's book, and well I did want to read about how it impacted him, I found the parts where he was talking about his family extremely boring. I couldn't help it, I kept thinking "yeah, yeah your family is perfect, now get back to Columbine please."  Sounds bad but it is what it is.

The letter wasn't too bad IMO, I just think of how I would react, and I'm thinking It would be closer to Brian Rohrbough(minus the religious stuff) I be all kinds of angry with nowhere to direct that anger. Who knows maybe I would become religious and than blame myself. It would take a very big person to forgive in that situation. They need someone to blame, that kinda grief would be overwhelming. They can't be objective, their kids were brutally murdered well they were doing nothing more than sitting in a school library. I've never held anything against these parents. However they want to deal with their grief is fine.

PaintItBlack wrote:

The Mausers have also said some unkind things about the parents over the years but that is not really even the point for me.
I have nothing against the parents either and have a lot of sympathy for their pain and loss which I know will never go away. However, I cannot agree with some of their actions such as chopping down the trees and crosses and filing lawsuits against E &D's parents that went on for years.
Dylan's parents have come out and said that the destroying of the trees and crosses hurt them.
Dylan's dad even called it "a lynch mob." When I brought up the pain that E &D's parents were caused by these incidents the general consensus was that their pain didn't matter against the pain of the victims families'  and the victims families' wishes and needs must come first and I can't agree with that either.
E &D's parents have been heavily criticized for only agreeing to meet with the relatives who did not sue them, but I can't say I blame them.
They are probably afraid of something they said being used against them and being sued again. It seems that many people, especially parents are naturally more sympathetic to the victims families'.
I am the most naturally sympathetic to the H &K families but I am aware that I am again in the minority viewpoint.

aubre wrote:

PaintItBlack wrote:

The Mauser book is one of the very few Columbine books I haven't read. I've held off because I heard that he included a  mean spirited letter in the book he had written to E &D's parents and while its his right to do so,I have no desire to see them trashed more than they have been.
I heard him say once that Daniel had never bullied or been mean to anyone, not even once in his life.
I believe that Daniel was a nice person, but I don't see how his Dad could know that or how it could be true.
Everyone is a jerk sometimes. It's the same with Kelly's dad when he said she was one person that never truly sinned.
Again, she seemed a great person but everyone has sinned in their life if they are past a certain age.
I can't blame them though.
Many people idolize their kids anyway and their
children are tragically gone. It's probably hard to admit any faults they might have had.
And I'm sure their relatives just want to focus on their positive and unique qualities.

aubre wrote:

Dico wrote:

After reading the book "She Said Yes" as a class assignment in 8th grade. As harsh as it may sound, the only part I found interesting in the book was Cassie's mom explaining what was happening on 4/20. It was very sad to read as you could imagine what it must feel like to lose your child, but it had me interested in what else happened that day.

Don't feel bad. I read Tom Mauser's book, and well I did want to read about how it impacted him, I found the parts where he was talking about his family extremely boring. I couldn't help it, I kept thinking "yeah, yeah your family is perfect, now get back to Columbine please."  Sounds bad but it is what it is.

The letter wasn't too bad IMO, I just think of how I would react, and I'm thinking It would be closer to Brian Rohrbough(minus the religious stuff) I be all kinds of angry with nowhere to direct that anger. Who knows maybe I would become religious and than blame myself. It would take a very big person to forgive in that situation. They need someone to blame, that kinda grief would be overwhelming. They can't be objective, their kids were brutally murdered well they were doing nothing more than sitting in a school library. I've never held anything against these parents. However they want to deal with their grief is fine.

Ok I went overboard in saying they should be allowed to deal with theiranywaythey want. I think the lawsuits was going overboard and Eric and Dylan's parents shouldn't have been attacked the way they were. What I'm really getting at is I understand where they're coming from. I don't think it was fair to e&d's parents but the whole situation wasn't fair to anyone. As far as the crosses go IMO they shouldn't have been put there in the first place. I don't think having some kind of memorial for the boys is wrong. I just don't think it was appropriate for it to be right next to the people they murdered. You wouldn't expect it in any other similar situation, so why this one.

I'm sympathetic to why the parents did it.
They wanted answers , they wanted revenge, they blamed the parents as the next ones in line since E and D weren't here to prosecute. With the misery, grief and burden they were carrying over their sons actions and hate and judgment E &D's parents were experiencing from the world,
I can't agree with it.
I am in in the minority view again when I say that I think there should have been a memorial to E &D somewhere on the hill.
What they did was terrible and caused great agony, but they did die also and arguably were the first victims. I think they deserved to be remembered. I know a lot of people were very derogatory towards the crosses being there but not everyone felt that way. There were some touching memorial messages left on the two crosses along with the hateful ones. After Eric's cross was destroyed a smaller one was put up for him and there were some balloons tied to it and a bouquet of flowers, but I don't know what ended up happening to it.
I guess I feel that if nothing else a memorial should have been put up for the sake of their families' alone if not for E &D.

I always think of the way the Amish community memorialized the shooter there and reached out and befriended his wife and children. I find that to be very touching and inspiration and feel it must have brought a lot of healing but I also realize that most people who have experienced tragedy will have no desire to react that way and its understandable.

I do hope that I'm not coming off as unsympathetic to the relatives of the victims as I'd never want to
be unsympathetic to ones who have suffered such a loss.

aubre wrote:

PaintItBlack wrote:

The Mausers have also said some unkind things about the parents over the years but that is not really even the point for me.
I have nothing against the parents either and have a lot of sympathy for their pain and loss which I know will never go away. However, I cannot agree with some of their actions such as chopping down the trees and crosses and filing lawsuits against E &D's parents that went on for years.
Dylan's parents have come out and said that the destroying of the trees and crosses hurt them.
Dylan's dad even called it "a lynch mob." When I brought up the pain that E &D's parents were caused by these incidents the general consensus was that their pain didn't matter against the pain of the victims families'  and the victims families' wishes and needs must come first and I can't agree with that either.
E &D's parents have been heavily criticized for only agreeing to meet with the relatives who did not sue them, but I can't say I blame them.
They are probably afraid of something they said being used against them and being sued again. It seems that many people, especially parents are naturally more sympathetic to the victims families'.
I am the most naturally sympathetic to the H &K families but I am aware that I am again in the minority viewpoint.

aubre wrote:

PaintItBlack wrote:

The Mauser book is one of the very few Columbine books I haven't read. I've held off because I heard that he included a  mean spirited letter in the book he had written to E &D's parents and while its his right to do so,I have no desire to see them trashed more than they have been.
I heard him say once that Daniel had never bullied or been mean to anyone, not even once in his life.
I believe that Daniel was a nice person, but I don't see how his Dad could know that or how it could be true.
Everyone is a jerk sometimes. It's the same with Kelly's dad when he said she was one person that never truly sinned.
Again, she seemed a great person but everyone has sinned in their life if they are past a certain age.
I can't blame them though.
Many people idolize their kids anyway and their
children are tragically gone. It's probably hard to admit any faults they might have had.
And I'm sure their relatives just want to focus on their positive and unique qualities.

aubre wrote:

Dico wrote:

After reading the book "She Said Yes" as a class assignment in 8th grade. As harsh as it may sound, the only part I found interesting in the book was Cassie's mom explaining what was happening on 4/20. It was very sad to read as you could imagine what it must feel like to lose your child, but it had me interested in what else happened that day.

Don't feel bad. I read Tom Mauser's book, and well I did want to read about how it impacted him, I found the parts where he was talking about his family extremely boring. I couldn't help it, I kept thinking "yeah, yeah your family is perfect, now get back to Columbine please."  Sounds bad but it is what it is.

The letter wasn't too bad IMO, I just think of how I would react, and I'm thinking It would be closer to Brian Rohrbough(minus the religious stuff) I be all kinds of angry with nowhere to direct that anger. Who knows maybe I would become religious and than blame myself. It would take a very big person to forgive in that situation. They need someone to blame, that kinda grief would be overwhelming. They can't be objective, their kids were brutally murdered well they were doing nothing more than sitting in a school library. I've never held anything against these parents. However they want to deal with their grief is fine.

Ok I went overboard in saying they should be allowed to deal with theiranywaythey want. I think the lawsuits was going overboard and Eric and Dylan's parents shouldn't have been attacked the way they were. What I'm really getting at is I understand where they're coming from. I don't think it was fair to e&d's parents but the whole situation wasn't fair to anyone. As far as the crosses go IMO they shouldn't have been put there in the first place. I don't think having some kind of memorial for the boys is wrong. I just don't think it was appropriate for it to be right next to the people they murdered. You wouldn't expect it in any other similar situation, so why this one.

I live about 20 miles away from littleton. I was in 8th grade when it happened. One of my aunts worked across the street from the school, and one of our cousins was in the aroura pd, and helped work the libary crime scene. He doesn't like to talk about it though, so I don't have any insider information.

I was too young when it happened to understand anything. But i do remember walking into the room while my parents were watching the news. They seemed upset so i asked what happened, their response was "a bunch of kids at this highschool were killed by a log rolling on them".... they proceeded to warn me of the dangers of playing on logs..... lol.
A few years later i learned what really occurred and for some ive found the whole event fascinating. The fact that two individuals conspired together to commit this massacre, as apposed to the usual lone wolf.

I became interested in April 2014 when a college class I was in watched Tough Guise. I didn't pay much attention and looked up and saw Eric's and Dylan's junior yearbook photos. I told the girl next to me, "That one on the left is GORGEOUS!" She laughed and told me, "That's Dylan Klebold, you ass. That's one of the kids who attacked Columbine! You REALLY like bad boys, huh?" I cracked up and so did she. I later Googled "dylan kliebold [sic] cute," found I wasn't alone, and here I am.

I remember on the day of the shooting I was walking through my parents room and saw footage on the news but I did not pay too much attention to that at that time. After that I heard the name Columbine occasionally and I watched a movie Elephant so I knew that two boys went to their school and they killed a few kids. My interested bloomed two years ago when I accidentally came across a documentary about Columbine on youtube and that was it. I spent long months watching and reading everything what was related to Columbine. Now I dont have much time to do this.

I was researching shootings and came across Columbine, I got interested in the depth of knowledge out there and haven't stopped since.