Do You Have A Favorite Victim?

I know that is a pretty weird question, but maybe not so around here. Do you have a fascination with one victim in particular?

Since I started studying Columbine in depth, I have found myself just drawn entirely to Daniel Mauser. Everything I have read, watched, and researched on this kind boy just breaks my heart to know that he was murdered, and to be shot in the face of all things. I cannot imagine what he was thinking as he was hiding. It has been said that he pushed a chair at Harris after being shot one time and that resulted in the shot that killed him. Whether or not he was trying to he a hero or if he was simply trying to defend himself doesn't really matter. What matters is that this was a real great kid and i hope people never forget that. I have read his fathers book Walking in Daniel's Shoes about 3 times now. Each time I read it I cry my eyes out. Not only does it show what a gentle, loving kid he was, but it really shows how much pain all of the victims parents have gone through.

I think I was drawn to Daniel because I found him to be very much like myself, shy, quiet, and generally well behaved.

Does anyone else have ab obsession with one person in particular? Why do you think that is?

I think that all the victims seemed like good hearted people, obviously its hard to say something like this without ever meeting them. When I first got interested in Columbine I got quite hooked on Danny (Daniel Rohrbough). He sounded like a cool sorta guy, and if I knew him someone I would probably like to associate myself with. Although his father seems a bit arrogant at times he sounded like a nice kid. The fact he was drinking Dr Pepper when he was shot also resonated with me, because if I were to have a drink in my hand when I was dying I would sure want it to be Dr Pepper. Rachel also sparks interest in me. I am also a Christian and I think its good to have someone like her as a inspiration in faith. I don't think she died a full martyr but I do think that her death has lead many people closer to God and reinforced peoples faiths.

I don't think I would use the word favorite in the sense of picking a victim but I do think that I can relate to some victims better than others. All victims died equal, none were above the others in sense of worth or loss. I think that sometimes people seem to put the more heroic ones or topical ones such as Rachel as their "favorite".

I think we draw interests in people that we can relate too or the qualities that they have, that we would like to see in ourselves.

I don't really have one, tbh I find the victims to be kinda uninteresting.

I did however find it very heartbreaking to watch Tom talk about Daniel in a documentary (it was the one where the birds fly up and Tom says they're doing it for Daniel)

SHORT VERSION:

I Have a few diagnosed disorders that give me extreme obsessive tendencies, caused me to research Rachel Scott for weeks, now I literally can't find more information on her, and no longer obsess over her but still view her as the best person ever lived. I go into detail how much I know about her, and this obsession affected me.

LONG VERSION:

This is a question I can relate to extremely well. I am diagnosed with a form of OCD called "pure-o" (if you don't know how pure-o works it's an obsession of a certain thought, action, situation, or person. I am also diagnosed with ADHD. One thing people with ADHD have in common, is the tendency to get EXTREMELY interested in any particular topic, person, or activity,  shifting all their time towards learning about that topic.

One day I found myself wanting to watch a Columbine documentary as I have a few years ago, but completely forgot most things about it. One of the victims brothers was talking about his sister (Rachel Scott). Out of curiosity, I decide to look her name up. I click on Google images, and I see many pictures of her. Now, this is where for some reason my OCD and ADHD obsessiveness kicks in. For an unexplained reason, waves of emotions pour over me. The best way I can describe it is that I view her as the most beautiful person that's ever been alive. I think she's an absolutely gorgeous person, and my OCD and ADHD combined together to wire my brain to think she's the best thing that happened on the planet.

I couldn't even finish the documentary because little did I know that for the next two weeks, I would spend close to 10-16 hours a day researching Rachel Scott. It sounds crazy, but that's what mental illness does to a person. In those two weeks, my obsession had gotten so severe that it consumed all of my time. I'm in high-school, and that's all I did during that day. My typical school day consisted of waking up early, searching for new facts about Rachel Scott, getting ready for school, finally getting to school, and straight up researching her for 8 hours. Getting out at 3:30, only to drive home and research her until 1 in the morning. (Grades shot down)  Weekends were more severe, and it really took a toll on how much work I did at my job. I even read EVERYTHING there is available about Columbine in hopes to find more information on Rachel Scott. (except for the 11k pages, although I've read a fair amount of that too.)

I would fantasize about her extensively, wondering what taking her on dates would be like, what going to prom would be like, developing a jealousy towards Stephen Partridge (dated her over a year) and nick Baumgart (took her to prom). Just the thought of her drove me absolutely wild. I would think crazy things like "would you jump off this building and survive, just to talk to each for a few minutes if she was alive?" and without a doubt, yes I would. No hesitation. Obsessions are crazy.

There is one reason why this obsession has finally come to an end. That reason is because I've found out EVERYTHING there is to know about her. I literally can't find more information about her. I've weeded out all the misinformation about her, and found even the most abstract facts about her. Everything from how she destroyed her pumpkin trying to make a butterfly-type carving, and ended up winning their family pumpkin carving contest, to what color underwear she died in. (purplish). I've contemplated calling her family just to get even more information, but I decided that was selfish, and would remind their family about their death.

So that is how I learned SO MUCH about Columbine, and even more on Rachel Scott. If you happened to read this all, I thank you very much. This post took about a half an hour to write, and it feels like a weight has been lifted off my chest.

FlyerFan wrote:

I know that is a pretty weird question, but maybe not so around here. Do you have a fascination with one victim in particular?

Since I started studying Columbine in depth, I have found myself just drawn entirely to Daniel Mauser. Everything I have read, watched, and researched on this kind boy just breaks my heart to know that he was murdered, and to be shot in the face of all things. I cannot imagine what he was thinking as he was hiding. It has been said that he pushed a chair at Harris after being shot one time and that resulted in the shot that killed him. Whether or not he was trying to he a hero or if he was simply trying to defend himself doesn't really matter. What matters is that this was a real great kid and i hope people never forget that. I have read his fathers book Walking in Daniel's Shoes about 3 times now. Each time I read it I cry my eyes out. Not only does it show what a gentle, loving kid he was, but it really shows how much pain all of the victims parents have gone through.

I think I was drawn to Daniel because I found him to be very much like myself, shy, quiet, and generally well behaved.

Does anyone else have ab obsession with one person in particular? Why do you think that is?

Hi FlyerFan, I actually also gravitate towards Daniel Mauser as well, particularly because he is the one victim the most like me, when I was that young, tender age, in LOTS of ways. I also believe that was one of the few who attempted to do something about their situation, and my own personal belief is that he in fact did attempt to push or throw a chair at Eric, maybe even while Harris was reloading or something. If he were a bigger guy, maybe he could have even tackled him, but I do think he tried to save himself and others with his actions. At the very least, I feel that he did try to do something about it. The ultimate insult was the "Nice glasses" remark by Eric which really stings me a lot, right before he shot him in the face.
In the famous video of the crime scene, after it had been processed by the police, in the walkabout around the library, I seem to recall you can actually see the spot where Daniel died, and the actual chair (on its side) which he probably tried to hurl at Harris. I remember watching the video thinking WOW that's the actual chair and the spot where it all happened. It gave me a chill.

Cassie Bernall. I find it strange that she was a dark, weird sort of girl with a warped sense of humor. Then, her folks send her off to some Christian summer camp and she comes back totally different? She made a complete 180 from her old persona, and I've always wondered the specifics of that...

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.], I got interested in Columbine because I became obsessed with Dylan first. I didn't spend all day researching him but it came pretty close. So don't feel alone!

I think my favorite victim is Rachel as well, since she seems to have been easy to get along with no matter how "weird" you were. That's a true Christian.

I know its frowned upon here by some people, but I find Eric and Dylan infinitely more interesting than their victims. I guess its because the victims we're "normal" kids who died going about their daily routines. The things Eric and Dylan did are so far removed from what we consider normal behavior that its almost impossible not to find them interesting. On top of that I was the bullied kid at my school and I'm not proud to admit that I came VERY close to reaching the point they did. When I first started researching Columbine I couldn't help but think "good for them" when I learned about how bad bullying was at the school. Over time I've come to realize E and D we're monstrous and NBK in no way constituted revenge. Killing bullies would have been one thing (though still in no way justifiable), but they killed innocent kids who they didnt even know. It takes a special kind of evil to go through with that.

If I had to pick one I'd have to pick Daniel Mauser. He seemed like a very sweet and intelligent young man. He looks so innocent in his all his pictures and it tears me up inside to know he died at the hands of Eric Harris. I also respect Daniel because he tried to fight back. We'll never know for sure whether he meant to fling the chair at Eric or if it was just an instinctive reflex, but I like to think it was on purpose and Daniel was willing to stand up for everyone in the library that day. Sadly his bravery cost him everything.

I think a lot of people come here for that reason. Eric and Dylan were very interesting people. Even for the time period they lived in, we have a ton of media that shows the most candid aspects of their lives. You can't help but feel familiar with them after awhile. Similar footage of Adolph Hitler elicits the same response. Eric and Dylan were normal, everyday teens who were very sad/pissed off and did a horrible thing.

The boogeymen are that much scarier when you realize they're just like everyone else.

rikkitor wrote:

SHORT VERSION:

I Have a few diagnosed disorders that give me extreme obsessive tendencies, caused me to research Rachel Scott for weeks, now I literally can't find more information on her, and no longer obsess over her but still view her as the best person ever lived. I go into detail how much I know about her, and this obsession affected me.

LONG VERSION:

This is a question I can relate to extremely well. I am diagnosed with a form of OCD called "pure-o" (if you don't know how pure-o works it's an obsession of a certain thought, action, situation, or person. I am also diagnosed with ADHD. One thing people with ADHD have in common, is the tendency to get EXTREMELY interested in any particular topic, person, or activity,  shifting all their time towards learning about that topic.

One day I found myself wanting to watch a Columbine documentary as I have a few years ago, but completely forgot most things about it. One of the victims brothers was talking about his sister (Rachel Scott). Out of curiosity, I decide to look her name up. I click on Google images, and I see many pictures of her. Now, this is where for some reason my OCD and ADHD obsessiveness kicks in. For an unexplained reason, waves of emotions pour over me. The best way I can describe it is that I view her as the most beautiful person that's ever been alive. I think she's an absolutely gorgeous person, and my OCD and ADHD combined together to wire my brain to think she's the best thing that happened on the planet.

I couldn't even finish the documentary because little did I know that for the next two weeks, I would spend close to 10-16 hours a day researching Rachel Scott. It sounds crazy, but that's what mental illness does to a person. In those two weeks, my obsession had gotten so severe that it consumed all of my time. I'm in high-school, and that's all I did during that day. My typical school day consisted of waking up early, searching for new facts about Rachel Scott, getting ready for school, finally getting to school, and straight up researching her for 8 hours. Getting out at 3:30, only to drive home and research her until 1 in the morning. (Grades shot down)  Weekends were more severe, and it really took a toll on how much work I did at my job. I even read EVERYTHING there is available about Columbine in hopes to find more information on Rachel Scott. (except for the 11k pages, although I've read a fair amount of that too.)

I would fantasize about her extensively, wondering what taking her on dates would be like, what going to prom would be like, developing a jealousy towards Stephen Partridge (dated her over a year) and nick Baumgart (took her to prom). Just the thought of her drove me absolutely wild. I would think crazy things like "would you jump off this building and survive, just to talk to each for a few minutes if she was alive?" and without a doubt, yes I would. No hesitation. Obsessions are crazy.

There is one reason why this obsession has finally come to an end. That reason is because I've found out EVERYTHING there is to know about her. I literally can't find more information about her. I've weeded out all the misinformation about her, and found even the most abstract facts about her. Everything from how she destroyed her pumpkin trying to make a butterfly-type carving, and ended up winning their family pumpkin carving contest, to what color underwear she died in. (purplish). I've contemplated calling her family just to get even more information, but I decided that was selfish, and would remind their family about their death.

So that is how I learned SO MUCH about Columbine, and even more on Rachel Scott. If you happened to read this all, I thank you very much. This post took about a half an hour to write, and it feels like a weight has been lifted off my chest.

I did read all of that and I thank you for sharing that with us. I don't think I became that obsessed, but I have spent hours and hours researching Columbine in general, I am not sure why I am so drawn to it. Every once in a while when I have some spare time I will find something new that I want to learn more about (whether it is a victim, location, memorial, whatever it may be) and off I go for 2-3-4 hours until I have to go do something else because I am an adult and have to do a lot of things I don't really want to do like work and take college classes. Then the cycle repeats itself sometime later when I have more free time and nothing else to do. lol

ThoughtBox wrote:

Hi FlyerFan, I actually also gravitate towards Daniel Mauser as well, particularly because he is the one victim the most like me, when I was that young, tender age, in LOTS of ways. I also believe that was one of the few who attempted to do something about their situation, and my own personal belief is that he in fact did attempt to push or throw a chair at Eric, maybe even while Harris was reloading or something. If he were a bigger guy, maybe he could have even tackled him, but I do think he tried to save himself and others with his actions. At the very least, I feel that he did try to do something about it. The ultimate insult was the "Nice glasses" remark by Eric which really stings me a lot, right before he shot him in the face.
In the famous video of the crime scene, after it had been processed by the police, in the walkabout around the library, I seem to recall you can actually see the spot where Daniel died, and the actual chair (on its side) which he probably tried to hurl at Harris. I remember watching the video thinking WOW that's the actual chair and the spot where it all happened. It gave me a chill.

Yeah every time I see that library video I sometimes pause it at that part and just sit and reflect on what he must have been thinking before he died. And if he did not die instantly (I choose to believe that he did because of the extent and range of his injury) what did he think about as he lay there? I bet he was thinking about his family, because in all of the pictures on his memorial website he is always smiling with his family.

I am also glad that the Mauser's chose to adopt a little girl from China. And I think that is something that they would still do even if Daniel had survived the shooting. He was so brilliant and kind he would have certainly embraced getting a new sibling from a different country and learning all about her culture.

rikkitor wrote:

SHORT VERSION:

I Have a few diagnosed disorders that give me extreme obsessive tendencies, caused me to research Rachel Scott for weeks, now I literally can't find more information on her, and no longer obsess over her but still view her as the best person ever lived. I go into detail how much I know about her, and this obsession affected me.

LONG VERSION:

This is a question I can relate to extremely well. I am diagnosed with a form of OCD called "pure-o" (if you don't know how pure-o works it's an obsession of a certain thought, action, situation, or person. I am also diagnosed with ADHD. One thing people with ADHD have in common, is the tendency to get EXTREMELY interested in any particular topic, person, or activity,  shifting all their time towards learning about that topic.

One day I found myself wanting to watch a Columbine documentary as I have a few years ago, but completely forgot most things about it. One of the victims brothers was talking about his sister (Rachel Scott). Out of curiosity, I decide to look her name up. I click on Google images, and I see many pictures of her. Now, this is where for some reason my OCD and ADHD obsessiveness kicks in. For an unexplained reason, waves of emotions pour over me. The best way I can describe it is that I view her as the most beautiful person that's ever been alive. I think she's an absolutely gorgeous person, and my OCD and ADHD combined together to wire my brain to think she's the best thing that happened on the planet.

I couldn't even finish the documentary because little did I know that for the next two weeks, I would spend close to 10-16 hours a day researching Rachel Scott. It sounds crazy, but that's what mental illness does to a person. In those two weeks, my obsession had gotten so severe that it consumed all of my time. I'm in high-school, and that's all I did during that day. My typical school day consisted of waking up early, searching for new facts about Rachel Scott, getting ready for school, finally getting to school, and straight up researching her for 8 hours. Getting out at 3:30, only to drive home and research her until 1 in the morning. (Grades shot down)  Weekends were more severe, and it really took a toll on how much work I did at my job. I even read EVERYTHING there is available about Columbine in hopes to find more information on Rachel Scott. (except for the 11k pages, although I've read a fair amount of that too.)

I would fantasize about her extensively, wondering what taking her on dates would be like, what going to prom would be like, developing a jealousy towards Stephen Partridge (dated her over a year) and nick Baumgart (took her to prom). Just the thought of her drove me absolutely wild. I would think crazy things like "would you jump off this building and survive, just to talk to each for a few minutes if she was alive?" and without a doubt, yes I would. No hesitation. Obsessions are crazy.

There is one reason why this obsession has finally come to an end. That reason is because I've found out EVERYTHING there is to know about her. I literally can't find more information about her. I've weeded out all the misinformation about her, and found even the most abstract facts about her. Everything from how she destroyed her pumpkin trying to make a butterfly-type carving, and ended up winning their family pumpkin carving contest, to what color underwear she died in. (purplish). I've contemplated calling her family just to get even more information, but I decided that was selfish, and would remind their family about their death.

So that is how I learned SO MUCH about Columbine, and even more on Rachel Scott. If you happened to read this all, I thank you very much. This post took about a half an hour to write, and it feels like a weight has been lifted off my chest.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts both personally & re: Rachel.

I don't have a favorite per se, but I generally see Rachel as the most compelling story from the victims & agree that she is a very special person in so many ways. My son met Craig thru the Rachel's Challenge & was deeply touched by her story & the commitment to treating others as we would like to be treated ourselves.

I too have ADHD as well & OCD characteristics. Channel the energy & guide it towards things that make you happy, prosperous & the person you want to be, & you'll find it to be a blessing in disguise. It's challenging, but you seem to be ahead of the game of discovery based on your post. Find your sweet spot in life & you will be remarkable given your unique abilities to tirelessly devote time & passion to a topic

I consult with very successful entrepreneurs & executive levels, the traits you describe are consistent with most of my clients.. the key is they learned to embrace it & utilize it as a strength. Again, you seem to be on that path of discovery.


Much respect for your post, thx again.

My three favorite victims(besides E &D) are Rachel, Cassie, and Kelly.
With Rachel it is because of the strong faith and wisdom she had at a very young age and how she lived that out in her life.I try to live my life treating people how she believed in treating them. With Cassie it is because she is practically a carbon copy of me when I was younger.

She and I had the same outlook on life and the same attitude.The only differences between her and me is that frankly I think I was even worse than she ever was and I never practiced or was interested in Satanism.That just makes her turnaround and the way she lived her life for her last two years and the faith she had when she died all the more amazing and she has been an inspiration to me.
With Kelly, its because she was very much like the other side of me that always existed.
Shy, quiet,loving things like poetry and writing, was somewhat of a homebody.

I relate to all 3 in different ways.I think the other victims were all nice people all all had great things about them but you always feel closer to those you can deeply relate to someway.

No

I have 3 . Daniel Mauser, Corey Depooter and Rachel Scott.

1. Daniel because he fight back and tried to save some Students (I really believe he tried to protect them)

2. Corey because i hear so many great storys of him. A fan of corey who has a instagram fanpage of corey got a tattoo for him.

Rachel because of her words and actions.

I do not have a favorite victim, but of all the victims that day, Kyle Velasquez’s murder angers me the most!

Not favorite but I connect with Rachel, Kelly and Lauren for different reasons.

I hate thinking of Kelly by herself trying to get over to the other girls


I got emotional at Corey’s grave on the anniversary last year and I know someone who was close to Mr.Sanders.

For me it's Daniel Mauser and Kyle Velasquez

I guess I won't get into detail on why Daniel because my reasons are the same as what's been said above. He seemed like a sweet, shy, smart, computer savvy child who would have gone on to do amazing things. He fought back and I really admire that.

I credit Kyle on why I got into Columbine in the first place though. I was bored one night and clicked on a short, Columbine documentary. It showed the victim's actual pictures, and when Kyle's flashed, I started bawling and had to pause the program. It hit me so hard how real the massacre was. I had a friend in High School who had leukemia and he died shortly after high school. Anyways, he and Kyle looked almost identical and seeing his face really hit me.

And then after learning more about this sweet boy's challenges, and his positive attitude, he has a special place in my heart.

whyno wrote:

For me it's Daniel Mauser and Kyle Velasquez

I guess I won't get into detail on why Daniel because my reasons are the same as what's been said above. He seemed like a sweet, shy, smart, computer savvy child who would have gone on to do amazing things. He fought back and I really admire that.

I credit Kyle on why I got into Columbine in the first place though. I was bored one night and clicked on a short, Columbine documentary. It showed the victim's actual pictures, and when Kyle's flashed, I started bawling and had to pause the program. It hit me so hard how real the massacre was. I had a friend in High School who had leukemia and he died shortly after high school. Anyways, he and Kyle looked almost identical and seeing his face really hit me.

And then after learning more about this sweet boy's challenges, and his positive attitude, he has a special place in my heart.

Danny struck me as a sweetheart. Someone that would have grown up to be someone really great. His dad does so much too. They have a really special place in my heart.

I read a text on John Tomlin and I was very impressed such a kind spirit for travelling to Mexico to help build houses for the poor. Also his girlfriend wrote a text where she talks about him being an old fashioned gentleman! And holding Nicole Nowlen hand to confort her before dying... this is heartbreaking...
I also think a lot of Daniel Mauser and how smart and sweet he was. His father for sure was really proud of him!

To keep it real, I always felt really bad for Cassie over the other victims.
I think it stems from the fact that she would of been the type of girl I would of went after in high-school.

Blonde hair, blue eyed, big boobed, surfer looking chicks were my cup of tea, lol.
Not to mention she seemed to have a "dark side", and while I'm not really into the things she wrote about in her journal, I still find that sort of sexy.

Yes, I know some people might find that odd, but we all have our quirks.
I'm just not afraid to admit mine.