Scott Glenn, who played Jack Crawford in The Silence of the Lambs, spent some time shadowing an FBI agent to get ready for his role in the film.
At the end of his "apprenticeship," he thanked the FBI agent for "letting me into your world."
"If you really want to know what it's like to live in my world, then listen to this," the FBI agent said. He played an audio tape recorded by a serial killer. The killer had taped himself raping, torturing, and murdering a woman.
Is it any wonder that some cops tend to be fucked-up folks?
My late uncle was a homicide detective in the 1980s, when the city where I live was one of the most violent in America, if not the world. And it screwed with his head.
One Thanksgiving, we were standing in my grandmother's driveway, talking about normal shit. Then, out of the blue, he pulled a shark's tooth out of his pocket.
He said, "You know, if I sliced your jugular vein open" - he pretended to "scrape" it against my neck - "you'd be dead in two minutes. If I left you out in the open, under the sun, you'd bloat and rot. A big guy like you would bloat up to maybe twice your size. If they tried to turn your body over, your skin would burst, and all of your bodily fluids would go all over this driveway."
So, yeah.
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Why does anyone do anything?