The Murder Of A Queen Bee

The murder of Kirsten Costas, is basically about a high-school girl with an inferiority complex (Bernadette Protti) who was, "obsessed" with a popular cheerleader (Kirsten Costas) and desperately wanted her approval. When Bernadette was scornfully rejected by Kirsten, she stabbed her five times with a butcher knife, resulting in the cheerleader’s death. This happened on June 23, 1984. The murderer and the victim were both fifteen years old.

So, this is what happened on the night of the murder, in detail; Bernadette had called Kirsten’s parents two days earlier while Kirsten was away on cheerleading camp and lied to them about taking Kirsten to a dinner for a sorority-like organization at their school, that both she and Kirsten were a member of. Bernadette was in fact planning on taking Kirsten to an unsupervised party that her friend had invited her to. The parents informed Kirsten, who made plans to attend the dinner. She was unpleasantly surprised when she saw Bernadette sitting in the car.

On the way to the, “sorority dinner”, Bernadette told Kirsten the truth about where they were actually heading. This piece of information evoked a strong reaction in Kirsten who told Bernadette that she refused to attend a party that she wasn’t invited to, claiming that it would make her look a, “loser” and that she cared about her reputation even though Bernadette might not care about her own reputation.
Bernadette, whose intention was to befriend Kirsten, was upset and told her how much she admired her and wanted to be like her. Kirsten told Bernadette that she was weird and that she was acting as if she was in love with her. Those remarks made Bernadette even more upset and she started weeping.  

Kirsten then got out of the car and ran over to a house nearby, asking if she could borrow the phone in order to get her parents to pick her up. Nobody answered, so the owner of the house (Arnold) offered to give her a ride home. He noticed that Bernadette’s car was following them, by looking at the rear window while he was driving Kirsten home.
When he dropped Kirsten off at her house, Kirsten discovered that her parents weren’t home and didn’t have any keys to the house. So she knocked on a neighbor’s door. That’s when Bernadette got out of her car and stormed towards Kristen, yelling, “I could’ve given you a ride!”

There was a butcher knife in Bernadette’s car, which Bernadette used in order to extinguish Kirsten’s life. She claimed that her sister used it to cut vegetables. I thought that was odd. Why would anyone cut vegetables in a car??? (Bernadette’s sister confirmed that this was true, but come on, she could’ve lied in order to protect her sister).

Bernadette fled from the scene before anyone could spot her and was able to hide the fact that she was Kirsten's killer for six months, before she wrote a letter to her mother and confessed what she'd done. Her alibi went unverified, so the police started suspecting that Bernadette had something to do with the murder. So I’m guessing that she was planning on keeping it a secret for as long as she could.

Bernadette claimed that she feared Kristen was going to tell their classmates that she was weird and infatuated with Kirsten, as a motive for killing Kirsten. Apparently Bernadette idolized Kirsten and was jealous of her popularity and charisma. Classmates claim that Bernadette was obsessed with being accepted and popular in general, even though she was accepted and had friends.

Bernadette was charged with manslaughter and was sentenced to nine years in prison, but only served 7 years. She has apparently changed her identity and is living a Christian lifestyle with her husband and children. I was appalled that she got such a short sentence. She doesn’t seem to pose a threat to society anymore, but I find it unfair how she gets to walk around and play happy family while a fifteen year old girl is rotting in her grave because of her.
For the people who are familiar with this case or have an interest in it; Do you believe that she lost control of her emotions and stabbed Kirsten in a fit of rage or that she committed first degree murder?

From the looks of it, Bernadette seems to have repented. But I’m not sure if it’s just a façade. She doesn’t exactly strike me as a cold and calculating sociopath though.

But she must’ve been emotionally unstable in some way, in order to do such a thing. I wonder if she was ever given a particular mental diagnosis. An inferiority complex alone, isn’t enough to make a person commit such a shocking deed. I mean, there have probably been multiple bitchy and haughty cheerleaders over the years and a lot of emotionally immature high-school girls who either resented or envied them, but this is the first case I’ve ever heard of when it comes to a girl brutally and uncontrollably murdering another girl because she was jealous of her popularity, felt rejected and was scared that she would be made fun of. Even if teenagers in general seem to consider high-school their entire universe, hence thinking that their lives are over whenever their reputation is tarnished or they're being shunned by their peers, I think committing murder because of it is a very extreme and unusual thing to do.  

Also, teenage girls tend to turn their anger and hatred inwards and engage in self-destructive acts, while it’s more common for males to take their anger out on their environment. So Bernadette stands out in that regard as well.
I personally think that Bernadette committed a so-called, “crime of passion” aka manslaughter. She had a murderous temper (no pun intended) and her impulse control leaves a lot to be desired. But she seemingly had remorse. Here’s one of her journal entries, “I have caused a lot of pain and hurt to a lot of people and I don’t want to hurt people anymore. I want to go to heaven when I die. I regret what I did, I can’t bring Kirsten back or change time. If I kill myself, I will hurt people even more (my family). I would go to hell if I killed myself”

Kirsten’s parents seem convinced that Bernadette never intended on taking Kirsten to a party, but planned to kill her right from the start. I think Kirsten’s parents simply want to believe that Bernadette committed a planned homicide, because it would confirm their belief/view that their daughter’s killer is a monstrous and evil demon with no conscience, who was put on earth to cause destruction.

Bernadette was obviously scared of what would happen to her if she confessed. Anyone would’ve been, if they were in the same position, sociopathic or not.  

This case was brought to my attention when I watched a movie that was based on this incident, a while ago. (Let me know if you want a link to the movie).

By the way, Bernadette apparently has a Youtube channel and has downloaded a video of a pie recipe. The commentary section is filled with hateful and scornful comments such as, “I disliked this video, are you gonna kill me now?” These people are obviously aware that she’s changed her name. It seems to be the real Bernadette Protti, because she never denied any of the accusations.
Well, all I have left to say, is that I never expected to get instructions on how to bake a pie from a murderer. Not to make light of a serious situation, but… killers don’t usually wear aprons, lol.

I honestly can't feel sorry for the victim here.

They both seem like horrible people. Bernadette as a deranged popularity-seeking nutcase, and Kirsten seems like an average narcissistic, stuck up popular girl.

I just realised how horrible I sound.

STK wrote:

I honestly can't feel sorry for the victim here.

I know what you mean. Her arrogant personality and disdainful attitude leaves a lot to be desired. It's hard to commiserate with people who are like that.

TheSpiral wrote:

They both seem like horrible people. Bernadette as a deranged popularity-seeking nutcase, and Kirsten seems like an average narcissistic, stuck up popular girl.

TheSpiral wrote:

I just realised how horrible I sound.

Nah, you don't sound horrible. You simply described their personalities in a nutshell. It's hard to sympathize with shitty people in general, unless they treated you well, so I understand why people would have a hard time sympathizing with the victim in this case, especially if they've been subjected to bullying or know someone like Kirsten in real life.
But the way and the fact that she was murdered is dreadful and sends a chill down my spine. So I feel bad about the pain she endured and that her parents suffered as a result of her death. But I can't say that I feel particularly bad about the fact that the world consisted of a narcissistic, vain, materialistic and self-centered teenage girl less, when Kirsten died. However, I have to take into account that she was a teenager at the time of her death, so her personality/identity/individuality wasn't entirely formed yet. She could've grown out of her disdainful attitude and realized that there is more to life than popularity and status, eventually though. Who knows?

Glamazon wrote:

STK wrote:

I honestly can't feel sorry for the victim here.

I know what you mean. Her arrogant personality and disdainful attitude leaves a lot to be desired. It's hard to commiserate with people who are like that.

TheSpiral wrote:

They both seem like horrible people. Bernadette as a deranged popularity-seeking nutcase, and Kirsten seems like an average narcissistic, stuck up popular girl.

TheSpiral wrote:

I just realised how horrible I sound.

Nah, you don't sound horrible. You simply described their personalities in a nutshell. It's hard to sympathize with shitty people in general, unless they treated you well, so I understand why people would have a hard time sympathizing with the victim in this case, especially if they've been subjected to bullying or know someone like Kirsten in real life.
But the way and the fact that she was murdered is dreadful and sends a chill down my spine. So I feel bad about the pain she endured and that her parents suffered as a result of her death. But I can't say that I feel particularly bad about the fact that the world consisted of a narcissistic, vain, materialistic and self-centered teenage girl less, when Kirsten died. However, I have to take into account that she was a teenager at the time of her death, so her personality/identity/individuality wasn't entirely formed yet. She could've grown out of her disdainful attitude and realized that there is more to life than popularity and status, eventually though. Who knows?

Depending on their life experiences, some people never grow out of it. Sometimes it even grows to something worse.

TheSpiral wrote:

Depending on their life experiences, some people never grow out of it. Sometimes it even grows to something worse.

True, she could’ve turned into a worse and more insufferable version of her teenage self, as an adult. But since the rational part of a teenager’s brain isn’t fully developed until the age of 25 and since teenagers don’t have enough life experience, I think it would be unfair to assume that Kirsten’s personality (or any teenager’s personality for that matter) was already etched in stone.

This is actually one of the cases I've been following for months. People new to this case are very quick to attack the victim, which is just completely sad and disrespectful. Bernadette Protti was never bullied by Kirsten Costas. The movie (A Friend To Die For) was completely one sided. The director used Randall Sullivan for facts and even he said he had no empathy for the victim. He spreaded facts that were not supported. One of Bernadette's friends was friends with Kirsten Costas. So, her obsession with Kirsten started there. Kirsten Costas was a symbolism of Bernadette's failures. Bernadette was even accepted into the Bob-O-Links (which only the TOP girls in Miramonte High School were accepted into). Kirsten was cocky in a way, but was not like the movie portrayal. I 100% believe this was premeditated. She wore maroon sweatpants to meet Kirsten (which makes no sense because she was trying to impress her). She had a 15' knife in the car (she also returned it so that also makes no sense). Bernadette was completely unstable during the whole car ride. Kirsten definitely caught on and listened to her gut. She ran away. Bernadette Protti stabbed her 5 times. 2 of those wounds were 2 feet in length. One stab wound (the last one) sliced her cartorid artery, which basically drained her (blood was spurting out). Also, keep in mind that Bernadette Protti was 5'9" and Kirsten was around 5'1". Bernadette didn't actually want to be friends with Kirsten. She wanted to use her for her own popular gain. During the whole 6 months leading up to her arrest, Bernadette let 2 innocent girls get blamed for Kirsten's murder. She attended Kirsten's funeral. She even told Kirsten's friends to "move on" from her death 3 weeks after she killed her. Kirsten Costas was not a bully. That was created by Randall Sullivan who got most of his information by Bernadette (who hardly knew Kirsten btw) and Bernadette's friend (who still stuck by Bernadette even after she was arrested for Kirsten's murder). Nancy (who was one of the girl's who was blamed) even described Kirsten as "she was more cocky than arrogant. she thought she was better than everyone else, but society taught us that. I thought I was better than them (popular girls)." The only thing Bernadette can talk about is how Kirsten made fun of her skis, which even that sounded like Kirsten was making the comment in a funny way. Bernadette was negative about everything. She perceived everything as "negative". Probably the only accurate portrayal of this case is the Deadly Women episode. (I highly recommend ya'll look up "Bernadette Protti ID Jeannette Tomanka" its a blog that is highly informative of this case. It also clears up a lot of misinformation). I'm just really passionate about this case tbh.

This case raised my interest as soon as I learnt about it.

I think it is really difficult to be justiceful - girls and rivalizing, this seems to be an ever-lasting problem.

To a certain level, I can surely understand Bernadette's bitterness. She did want to be popular - and she was somewhat popular, but not AS popular as Kirsten. This made her very angry.

Yes [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.], I agree that she did not want to be actually friends with Kirsten, she probably wanted to use her for "networking". You see, these elite gangs are like this: no-one hangs out with anyone just because they like each other and enjoy each others' company, but because "if you wish to be considered as cool, then you need to hang out with the coolest of the very coolest".
So, it is not only about Bernadette's bitterness and jealousy - even if this played the biggest role in this tragedy -, but also about the unhealthy, shallow and snobbish attitude these youngsters lived in. Judging each other for how rich their families are, how expensive clothes, cars and homes they have - this is not good at all. Exactly what you mention: "she thought she was better than everyone else, but society taught us that" - IMHO, this is the worst problem.

Bob-O-Links, as far as I know, was only the "second best" elite clique for Bernadette. I read that originally, she tried for becoming a cheerleader and applied to an even more elite clique (Atlantis Club if I remember well?) She became really disappointed when she did not make it.

Honestly, I am completely shocked by that this "social status" thing begins so early, at such a young age. Is this typical in USA?

Psychologically, Bernadette's action can be understood - I emphasize _understood_ and NOT justified! -, we know how hard this is. Girls can be really mean to each other.
(Even though I heard that nowadays, there is very little difference between how girls and boys treat each other. Unlike a few decades earlier, now girls can be as openly aggressive as boys, and boys can be as good at backstabbing as girls... is it true? I am so terribly old that I wouldn't know.)


I dislike how she behaved after the murder. She wore a mask for 6 months, and, yeah, she allowed people to blame two innocent girls - I just don't understand how someone can behave like this, in such a young age!


I cannot fathom: how desperate and mad Bernadette was. I understand that she saw Kirsten as the manifestation of everything she wanted to be (and failed to be) and this made her angry. I cannot understand why beating Kirsten badly would not have been enough to her.
At least, this is the very worst I would consider doing in a such situation. What about you guys?

What would you guys do in Bernadette's place?
How would you handle this inferiority complex thing?

The thing I dislike most about this case is when people blame the victim for her own murder. Bernadette, in my opinion, had more than an inferiority complex. I think she had Borderline Personality Disorder. She fits a lot of the characteristics. When she was in prison school (really wasn't a person if we're being honest) she had a pen pal. He came to visit her and then immediately she started to accuse him of cheating on her. The fact that Kirsten was only 15 (turning sixteen like a month after her death) and wasn't given the chance to truly blossom into an adult is just sad. No one is who they were like in High School. I honestly believe Kirsten probably had a sense of humor that made her seem air headed or even shallow at times (bernadette's friend mentioned that Kirsten wrote an essay about a hamburger and apparently got away with it because she was cute). I just find that laughable. Sounds like something I would do. I believe Bernadette thought Kirsten was dumb and wouldn't think she was using her for popular gain. Teenagers might appear dumb sometimes, but we aren't. This case happened in the 80s, so for me, a teenager, it's hard to really grasp society during those times. I don't believe Kirsten thought Bernadette liked her romantically. I think Bernadette just said it to tarnish Kirsten even more. A bully, a homophobe, and a drug user?? She must've had it coming (sarcasm). The Costas' don't have a daughter anymore because of a mentally unhinged girl that possibly had an undiagnosed mental illness. I can't feel for Bernadette anymore.

hoe4basementtapes wrote:

I think she had Borderline Personality Disorder. She fits a lot of the characteristics.

That thought has crossed my mind. She really does fit the bill for borderline personality disorder;
-Impulsive
-Hard time getting emotions under control/Emotionally unstable.
-Mood swings
-Unreasonably high fear of being abandoned.

hoe4basementtapes wrote:

I 100% believe this was premeditated.

If she truly did have BPD, it makes more sense that she let her emotions dictate her actions and was unable to control her rage. It sounds plausible that Kirsten said something that ticked her off or didn’t react the way Bernadette wanted, which made Bernadette lash out uncontrollably.

hoe4basementtapes wrote:

When she was in prison school (really wasn't a person if we're being honest) she had a pen pal. He came to visit her and then immediately she started to accuse him of cheating on her.

Ah, so the guy was only a pen pal (makes sense). In the report I read, it said that she had a boyfriend while she was serving her sentence. And I thought to myself, “How the hell was she able to land a boyfriend behind bars?”

Glamazon wrote:

By the way, Bernadette apparently has a Youtube channel and has downloaded a video of a pie recipe. The commentary section is filled with hateful and scornful comments such as, “I disliked this video, are you gonna kill me now?” These people are obviously aware that she’s changed her name. It seems to be the real Bernadette Protti, because she never denied any of the accusations.

It could be a person with the same name, the person might just not read comments. They shouldn't hate on the person until it's confirmed that the channel belongs to the killer. They'll probably be the only youtube killer that could actually read the hate comments.