NBK Avoidable? (Line Interpretation)

In Eric's journal entry on 11/17/98, he said the following:

"It'll be very fucking hard to hold out until April. If people would give me more compliments all of this might still be avoidable...but probably not."

Do you think there was any truth to this? What would it have taken? If you don't think he meant it, why even write it?

Also, when he talks about holding out until April, do you think he is talking about killing himself or others? Both?

I think Eric wanted a girlfriend pretty badly.

Littlelo wrote:

In Eric's journal entry on 11/17/98, he said the following:

"It'll be very fucking hard to hold out until April. If people would give me more compliments all of this might still be avoidable...but probably not."

Do you think there was any truth to this? What would it have taken? If you don't think he meant it, why even write it?

Also, when he talks about holding out until April, do you think he is talking about killing himself or others? Both?

This is a part of Eric's journal that people seem to ignore. There's a lot about both boys journals that people kind of cherry pick.

I think Eric was looking for respect and acceptance, another reason he probably wanted to join the military. He sees the reverence and respect his father gets.

To be honest I think if anyone could've been talked out of it or backed out it would've been Eric. He even said "maybe if I got laid it would make things better. "

I wish we knew more about his suicidal tendencies and his depression as well.

My first reaction is that he just wanted to seem more "godlike" as if he had the power to change the outcome but it wasn't likely because he wasn't given the respect he wanted.

I agree with Screamingophelia. I believe Eric would backed out, or would have been more likely to have second thoughts IF something made him believe that anything would have gotten better in his life.

Ivan wrote:

I think Eric wanted a girlfriend pretty badly.

Seriously...that would have made him feel validated and wanted. I just wonder how he would have treated a girlfriend. All the demeaning things he said about girls in his journal... did he really mean it? I don't think a love interest would have saved either of them unless maybe it happened a couple years prior.

Ivan wrote:

I think Eric wanted a girlfriend pretty badly.

I just can't make myself believe that all Eric's issues and problems would have lessened or disappeared if he had a girlfriend. He dated no one long enough to form the kind of attached bond, and understanding that might have made him change his mind.

Now IF he had came across someone earlier, before he had completely set his mind on NBK, then it is possible that he could have had the time to realize that he didn't want to go through with it and end his life at 18. He may have decided to set a different goal for himself.

Just my opinion, anyways.

So crazy that we both just essentially said the same thing SG!

Littlelo wrote:

So crazy that we both just essentially said the same thing SG!

I hit send and it said a new reply had been made, but I didn't read it! Yeah we kinda did in a roundabout way say the same thing.

It's also interesting that he suggests NBK could be avoided if people are nicer to him. No mention of Dylan or his choice in the matter.

He asks if people will write a book about him, not about them. But in some entries he does refer to "our" rampage. It's strange how it switches back and forth.

Also interesting that he says he has to get Vodka another gun. Not that Dylan needs to get one for himself, almost like it's up to Eric.

Littlelo wrote:

It's also interesting that he suggests NBK could be avoided if people are nicer to him. No mention of Dylan or his choice in the matter.

He asks if people will write a book about him, not about them. But in some entries he does refer to "our" rampage. It's strange how it switches back and forth.

Also interesting that he says he has to get Vodka another gun. Not that Dylan needs to get one for himself, almost like it's up to Eric.

It was up to Eric. Dylan did next to nothing when it came to acquiring the guns. Eric paid for them and did all the legwork -- Dylan just sat around and waited.

Even in January 1999 Dylan said something like "I might as well go NBK" confirming he didn't care one way or the other. Eric was hellbent on actually going through with the shooting after they got the guns in December of 1998.

I have always wondered if one had decided to hold off, how the other would have reacted to it? Would they have held out as well or tried to convince the other to go ahead with the plan?

BUT I just don't see Dylan going on alone, seeing as he couldn't kill himself after years of wanting to.

I do agree that he needed Eric to set the plan in motion and keep it going.

ShadowedGoddess wrote:

I have always wondered if one had decided to hold off, how the other would have reacted to it? Would they have held out as well or tried to convince the other to go ahead with the plan?

BUT I just don't see Dylan going on alone, seeing as he couldn't kill himself after years of wanting to.

I do agree that he needed Eric to set the plan in motion and keep it going.

Agreed.

Screamingophelia wrote:

This is a part of Eric's journal that people seem to ignore. There's a lot about both boys journals that people kind of cherry pick.

I think Eric was looking for respect and acceptance,  another reason he probably wanted to join the military. He sees the reverence and respect his father gets.

To be honest I think if anyone could've been talked out of it or backed out it would've been Eric. He even said "maybe if I got laid it would make things better. "

I wish we knew more about his suicidal tendencies and his depression as well.

Agreed. If they focused on ALL of Eric's writings then those who say he was a evil psychopath have less to prove their theory. Just as those who want to think Dylan was only sad, lonely, and depressed always gloss over anything that proves he was also taking part in planning a school massacre.

Eric has so many diary entries that show his "human" side. Sometimes I think people ignore them on purpose.

Littlelo wrote:

Eric has so many diary entries that show his "human" side. Sometimes I think people ignore them on purpose.

Me too

Ivan wrote:

I think Eric wanted a girlfriend pretty badly.

It seems like he had a chance with Susan.

I suppose he was too committed to the plan by then.

I think both of them were on the fence up until the day of.
Dylan also wrote about killing himself before NBK.
I don't think it was a reality to them until they actually started shooting.

W.A.R. wrote:

Ivan wrote:

I think Eric wanted a girlfriend pretty badly.

It seems like he had a chance with Susan.

I suppose he was too committed to the plan by then.

I somewhat agree. Although Susan hadn't really known Eric all that long from my understanding. SO who knows if she would have picked up on the weird vibes that the other girls had and been put off by it.

Also I do think that by that time Eric likely had a tunnel type vision and could only see NBK ahead of him.

I feel the same way about Susan, SG. They really only hung out once, so he mentions her in TBT because she's his most recent interest that has not turned him down. Who knows what would have happened.

Littlelo wrote:

I feel the same way about Susan, SG. They really only hung out once, so he mentions her in TBT because she's his most recent interest that has not turned him down. Who knows what would have happened.

Her memory is probably a bit rose colored (pre massacre of course) . Since she got like the best of Eric so to speak. First date stuff.

What a surreal thing to have as part of your past. It must feel like a different lifetime to her now.

Littlelo wrote:

What a surreal thing to have as part of your past. It must feel like a different lifetime to her now.

Exactly. I wonder if her or any of Eric and Dylan's friends just start telling a story about them to others, and then remembering oh people don't remember them like I do.