Sue Klebold speaking at CMHA Breakfast of Champions about Dylan and her exp

Watch "Breakfast of Champions 2017 with Sue Klebold" on YouTube
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Thank you!

Has anyone watched it yet?

Most importantly does it contain the dark Blackjack video with sound????

Screamingophelia wrote:

Thank you!

Has anyone watched it yet?

Most importantly does it contain the dark Blackjack video with sound????

I watched it. She's speaking at the Canadian Mental Health Associations yearly meeting. She tells the story similar to her book. She is such a strong and amazing women. Not only did she loose her son to suicide but a murder/suicide that dragged her and her family into the media where she was hated. Instead of hiding and being overcome by her losses she tried to do something positive out of the horror. A lot of bravery there. She mentions she's constantly aware and afraid to meet someone Dylan's actions hurt. Along with the intense and constant scrutiny by the media and all who blame her. She still works every day to raise suicide awareness. That's strength. I have suffered trauma and survived grief in my own life and it takes guts to get up every day despite your grief and work to help instead of just staying in bed.
She says she is beyond heart broken to think Dylan suffered for years before. She still thinks of him, dreams of him and talks to him daily.

Oldmare wrote:

Screamingophelia wrote:

Thank you!

Has anyone watched it yet?

Most importantly does it contain the dark Blackjack video with sound????

I watched it. She's speaking at the Canadian Mental Health Associations yearly meeting. She tells the story similar to her book.  She is such a strong and amazing women.  Not only did she loose her son to suicide but a murder/suicide that dragged her and her family into the media where she was hated.  Instead of hiding and being overcome by her losses she tried to do something positive out of the horror. A lot of bravery there. She mentions she's constantly aware and afraid to meet someone Dylan's actions hurt. Along with the intense and constant scrutiny by the media and all who blame her. She still works every day to raise suicide awareness. That's strength. I have suffered trauma and survived grief in my own life and it takes guts to get up every day despite your grief and work to help instead of just staying in bed.
She says she is beyond heart broken to think Dylan suffered for years before. She still thinks of him, dreams of him and talks to him daily.

I admire Sue so much.

I got to see her speak in person in December.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] where did you see her speak?!

Shes speaking tomorrow in Ontario but it's 4 hour + drive away from me. This is only her second time speaking in Canada. Hopefully next time she will be closer.

I lost my mom to suicide a few years ago so i would love to speak to her. Let her know how appreciative people are for what she is doing.
Love is not enough.

Oldmare wrote:

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] where did you see her speak?!

Shes speaking tomorrow in Ontario but it's 4 hour + drive away from me. This is only her second time speaking in Canada. Hopefully next time she will be  closer.

I lost my mom to suicide a few years ago so i would love to speak to her. Let her know how appreciative people are for what she is doing.
Love is not enough.

Oldmare, I am glad she's speaking out too. Depression and suicide are such taboo topics and it is not something you can understand unless you have been there. :hugs:

I saw Sue in December speak at the Denver Tech Center. I was there for an interview and for work. I then decided to stay an extra 4 days to have a mini vacation.

I posted a bit about my experience here!!

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Thanks for sharing those links. I have traveled all over but not yet to Colorado. Looks beautiful!

Yes there is a lot of stigma around suicide. People don't talk about it and we should. I see obituaries with "suddenly" or "unexpectedly" and wonder...
After my mom died i had ONE friend acknowledge my loss. One. I have a great group of friends so the surprised me. When discussed they didn't know what to say so didn't say anything. The religious associated sin aspect doesn't help.. My mom was active in her church and not a single member of her church came to her funeral. That pissed me off.

Oldmare wrote:

I lost my mom to suicide a few years ago so i would love to speak to her. Let her know how appreciative people are for what she is doing.
Love is not enough.

This reminded me of a Facebook post by Anne Marie Hochhalter from a couple of years ago.

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I always thought that a robotic note made more sense than a flowery and poetic letter. This was not long after the shootings, just a few months. They had only just lost their sons, had only just started to process that their sons were killers. I would assume you wouldn't be capable of composing a letter at a time like that. Of course, different people deal with things in different ways but it's always felt a bit off.
Having said that, I have to admit my opinion of Sue Klebold is a difficult one. It kind of goes back and forth between admiration for her bravery and annoyance at her transparent agenda of painting her son in as sympathetic a light as she can manage.

SandraSmit19 wrote:

I always thought that a robotic note made more sense than a flowery and poetic letter. This was not long after the shootings, just a few months. They had only just lost their sons, had only just started to process that their sons were killers. I would assume you wouldn't be capable of composing a letter at a time like that. Of course, different people deal with things in different ways but it's always felt a bit off.
Having said that, I have to admit my opinion of Sue Klebold is a difficult one. It kind of goes back and forth between admiration for her bravery and annoyance at her transparent agenda of painting her son in as sympathetic a light as she can manage.

I agree that people handle things differently. Depending on who penned those four sentences, which in my opinion was probably Kathy. It is hard to tell what it cost her to put those few words down on paper, however cold and robotic they sounded.

As you said they had indeed just lost their son too. They were in a state of shock, grief, trying to deal with the fact their son had not only just committed suicide, but had also taken 13 innocent lives. The Harris's likely did the best they could during that time period.

Both families were warned by thier lawyers to say nothing or very little at all for legal reasons. So they were under that restriction when they did speak. Not to mention the numbness and shock or not only loosing thier sons but also what thier sons had done before death.

Grief is such an individual and unique experience. Complicated grief arises when there are additional factors along with the loss and can take much, much longer to sort through. If ever.

I worked as a perinatal bereavement counsellor for over 10 years which is also a complicated type of loss.
Some losses I don't think you ever really recover from. You learn to live a different life along with the loss rather than recover from it.

I can only guess what it's like to have your child commit something horrifying but I do imagine that I would still love my child and hate what they had done. Add your child dying by suicide and I don't think anyone has even a small idea what that would be like to live through.

I admire Sue Klebold for what she has accomplished for suicide and mental health awareness. As someone who has lost a mom, her twin brother and a great grandmother to suicide I can say how absolutely important awareness is. Love is not enough. As Sue says...

For someone to not only make it through that in life, ... at all. Still get up every day and put one foot in front of another.
But to also use that horrific experience to accomplish something good in life is beyond amazing. The strength and compassion there...
I admire it.

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Oldmare wrote:

Both families were warned by thier lawyers to say nothing or very little at all for legal reasons. So they were under that restriction when they did speak. Not to mention the numbness and shock or not only loosing thier sons but also what thier sons had done before death.  

Grief is such an individual and unique experience. Complicated grief arises when there are additional factors along with the loss and can take much, much longer to sort through. If ever.

I worked as a perinatal bereavement counsellor for over 10 years which is also a complicated type of loss.
Some losses I don't think you ever really recover from. You learn to live a different life along with the loss rather than recover from it.

I can only guess what it's like to have your child commit something horrifying but I do imagine that I would still love my child and hate what they had done.   Add your child dying by suicide and I don't think anyone has even a small idea what that would be like to live through.  

I admire Sue Klebold for what she has accomplished for suicide and mental health awareness. As someone who has lost a mom, her twin brother and a great grandmother to suicide I can say how absolutely important awareness is. Love is not enough. As Sue says...

For someone to not only make it through that in life, ... at all. Still get up every day and put one foot in front of another.
But to also use that horrific experience to accomplish something good in life is beyond amazing. The strength and compassion there...
I admire it.

Sent from Topic'it App

I have always thought too after what Anne Marie went through AND losing her mom to suicide shortly after, she showed a lot of strength and forgiveness.

I read a post from a Columbine survivor around the anniversary this year and it was something to the extent of "the hardest thing I had to do was to forgive someone who was never sorry for what they did"

Also the fact that Coni and Sue are now friends warms my heart. I think Patrick forgave them right away, but forgiveness isn't about them (eric and dylan), it is about not holding that anger in your heart forever and being able to heal.

I think it is a double edged sword when it comes to the Harris's. From day one Eric has been known as the leader and the "bad kid" they knew Eric had issues but I think from the little we know about the Harris's they did what they thought was best and kept it private. Afterwards with the amount of evidence in Eric's room they were probably not sure what to do. So because we don't know a ton about his life, most pictures were leaked from old friends of Eric's outside of Colorado, it is easy to pin everything on Eric if you don't look too much into the case. So them not coming out is a sign of guilt BUT if they did come out and speak they would probably get more crap than the Klebold's did.

I do wonder what Dylan would have thought of the book and I wonder what his friends thought of it? Did they think Dylan was painted in the light they remembered him in?

Did they meet with the Mausers and the Rorbourghs (sp) or just the Mausers? I wonder what made them meet with some families but not speak publicly.

Only a few more years until the depositions... seriously it could be my wedding day when these things come out and I'll say "sorry guys, wedding is postponed for an hour or so, enjoy the open bar."      

Screamingophelia wrote:

if they did come out and speak they would probably get more crap than the Klebold's did. 

Well they were a lot more negligent with their son than the Klebolds were with theirs.