Dylan’s shyness?

Do you think now Dylan would be looked at as having social anxiety? Or was he just super shy?

He did have friends and he enjoyed doing things with them but in a mothers reckoning Sue said it took him a little bit of time to warm up even around Nate, Eric and his mom at his birthday dinner.

Devon said he had a hard time with small talk unless they could talk about music or sports they had in common. However that doesn’t sound odd to me I think it’s easier for nearly everyone to talk about something that they’re interested in And if they meet someone that has a common interest they can talk about that as an icebreaker!!!

I watched a video clip from an interview with Sue. I don’t think I’ve ever seen the full interview so I’m looking for it. She was talking about how she picked him up from middle school and yelled his name and he got into the car all mad and said mom don’t say my name in front of my friends.

I admit even now I feel weird if someone yells my name especially if I’m not sure where it’s coming from. I would rather have them come tap me  on the shoulder. I do get embarrassed by that.

Screamingophelia wrote:

Do you think now Dylan would be looked at as having social anxiety? Or was he just super shy? 

I don't think his actions would be considered severe enough to qualify for social anxiety, but I'm no doctor.

Screamingophelia wrote:

She was talking about how she picked him up from middle school and yelled his name and he got into the car all mad and said mom don’t say my name in front of my friends.

I don't know for the rest, but I think this is a common teenager reaction, being embarrassed when parents are there in from of their friends.

I am a pretty shy person in general IRL. I hate small talk and even if I am interested in something it can be hard to get me to talk about it. I do easier online lol

I do think Dylan was quite shy. I think he was also quite judgemental of others. Maybe the fact that he thought he was above all the peon talk made him not want to speak to others. Or maybe he just had bad experiences earlier in life with others judging him.

Lizpuff wrote:

I am a pretty shy person in general IRL.  I hate small talk and even if I am interested in something it can be hard to get me to talk about it. I do easier online lol

I do think Dylan was quite shy.  I think he was also quite judgemental of others.  Maybe the fact that he thought he was above all the peon talk made him not want to speak to others.  Or maybe he just had bad experiences earlier in life with others judging him.

I am the same way as you. I also fine when I try to do Smalltalk I just give out way too much information about myself.


You know it’s interesting I often don’t think about Dylan being arrogant and snobby and above people because sometimes I only focus on his depression. However Dylan was treated as the gifted and special person since he was three and in his discovery essay through his diversion program he reeked of superiority and insulted everyone in the class. I do wonder if that’s a defense mechanism. It was for me. Because I had always been told how smart I am and how I was going to rise above all the bullying. I didn’t have to have a job in high school or college because my dad said school was my job and it’s not like I’m gonna be working at McDonald’s forever so why bother.

I had my first real job actual job at 22. I had no idea what I was doing.... it was at a record store.

Screamingophelia wrote:

Lizpuff wrote:

I am a pretty shy person in general IRL.  I hate small talk and even if I am interested in something it can be hard to get me to talk about it. I do easier online lol

I do think Dylan was quite shy.  I think he was also quite judgemental of others.  Maybe the fact that he thought he was above all the peon talk made him not want to speak to others.  Or maybe he just had bad experiences earlier in life with others judging him.

I am the same way as you.   I also fine when I try to do Smalltalk I just give out way too much information about myself.


You know it’s interesting I often don’t think about Dylan being arrogant and snobby and above people because sometimes I only focus on his depression. However Dylan was treated as the gifted and special person since he was three and in his discovery essay through his diversion program he reeked of superiority and insulted everyone in the class.  I do wonder if that’s a defense mechanism. It was for me. Because I had always been told how smart I am and how I was going to rise above all the bullying. I didn’t have to have a job in high school or college because my dad said school was my job and it’s not like I’m gonna be working at McDonald’s forever so why bother.

I had my first real job actual job at 22. I had no idea what I was doing.... it was at a record store.

I was very similar. My first job was at Blockbuster when I turned 18. Was a hard blow to reality lol.

I just wonder sometimes if he only thought arrogant thoughts about everyone he met

Maybe Dylan didn’t think people liked him

Dylan was a very reserved person. I wouldn't go to the extent of saying that he was socially awkward. Because he could still talk to people. But as many people described him when talking to him, he would sometimes stutter or be very quiet. So yeah, definitely some shyness.

My vote is actually for a degree of social anxiety. If you look at the definition of it, "the fear of being judged or evaluated negatively by other people leading to feelings of inadequacy, inferiority, self- consciousness, embarrassment, humiliation, and depression" (from the Social Anxiety Institute).

Several times in his journal he referenced being scared/ nervous about people accepting him, no one accepting him even though he wanted to be accepted. I recall in one entry he said something to the effect that people set out to hate and ignore him. Even though he'd also write about being above everyone I think, as someone mentioned, this was a coping mechanism. If he couldn't be accepted by people he'd behave like he didn't really need them and was better than they were.