The Reckoning: Searching for Meaning with the Father of the Sandy Hook Kill

Peter Lanza finally told his story in this book. 

About Lanza: Born in 1992, he didn’t speak until he was three, and he always understood many more words than he could muster. He showed such hypersensitivity to physical touch that tags had to be removed from his clothing. In preschool and at Sandy Hook, where he was a pupil till the beginning of sixth grade, he sometimes smelled things that weren’t there and washed his hands excessively. A doctor diagnosed sensory-integration disorder, and Adam underwent speech therapy and occupational therapy in kindergarten and first grade. Teachers were told to watch for seizures.


Lanza went to sandy hook: Still, photos show him looking cheerful. “Adam loved Sandy Hook school,” Peter said. “He stated, as he was growing older, how much he had liked being a little kid.”


Change of behaviors: When Adam began middle school, Peter and Nancy’s worries increased. The structure of the school day changed; instead of sitting in one classroom, he had to move from room to room, and he found the disruption punishing. Sensory overload affected his ability to concentrate; his mother xeroxed his textbooks in black and white, because he found color graphics unbearable. He quit playing the saxophone, stopped climbing trees, avoided eye contact, and developed a stiff, lumbering gait. He said that he hated birthdays and holidays, which he had previously loved; special occasions unsettled his increasingly sclerotic orderliness. He had “episodes,” panic attacks that necessitated his mother’s coming to school; the state’s attorney’s report says that on such occasions

Relationship with Peter Lanza: Peter does not think that Adam had any affection for him, either, by that point. He said, “With hindsight, I know Adam would have killed me in a heartbeat, if he’d had the chance. I don’t question that for a minute. The reason he shot Nancy four times was one for each of us: one for Nancy; one for him; one for Ryan; one for me.”

Nancy Lanza: He thinks Nancy’s pride prevented her from asking for help. “She wanted everyone to think everything was OK.” As Adam’s isolation deepened, Nancy’s naïveté began to blur into denial. She started making plans to move with Adam, possibly to Seattle, although she didn’t mention those plans to Peter. She had also suggested to a friend that she’d be living with Adam for a “very long time,”

You have link with this book for reading / download?

At first I was excited... Then I remembered I'd read this years ago.

Russianman wrote:

You have link with this book for reading / download?

It's not really a book. It's an article that they published as a "book," I think. I bought it on Amazon to see if the free version was abridged because it claims to be 31 pages. As far as I can tell, it's not different from the New Yorker article.

You can read it here.
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I linked it in the Sandy Hook Resources thread some time ago.