What's the point of talking about 4/20?

With the exception of Yumeko-chan, does anyone on this board have any legitimate reason to think about or discuss the Columbine massacre? Yes, Eric and Dylan's crimes were terrible, but are they truly relevant to any of us?

No, probably not.

Does that mean we're going to stop thinking and talking about the massacre?

No, definitely not.

I realized a long time ago that I wasn't really seeing Eric and Dylan for who they really were, and that I never would. I was emphasizing the aspects of their lives and their crimes to which I could relate, and downplaying or even ignoring the rest. I like to think that people find my ideas about the massacre interesting and insightful, but ultimately they're just my subjective educated opinions, based on my own skewed individual perspective.

I challenge you to prove that *anyone* is capable of offering anything more than subjective educated opinions, based on his or her own individual perspective. That goes for Cullen, obviously.

You've probably noticed that I don't like him very much. "Why?" you ask.

Well, it doesn't profit me to say this - I'm giving him ammunition to use against me - but I'm the first to admit that my perspective is skewed. You see, I've spent my entire life surrounded by reprehensible people. I'm not going to name names, or even "titles," but suffice it to say that my family is totally fucked up.

Relative A is an imbecile, a smug and smarmy bitch who can barely spell her own name. In her prime, her IQ might have been in the 85-90 range; God knows what it is now. Yet she's always right.

Relative B is a hopeless alcoholic and drug addict. She's always right.

Relative C is also an alcoholic and drug addict, and a truly, truly crazy, nasty bitch. She's always right.

Relative D is a former alcoholic and drug addict, and a smug little prick. He thinks he's a tough son-of-a-bitch, but he's really just a dickless coward. He's always right.

Relative E is neither an imbecile, an alcoholic, nor an addict, but she's a total head case - a shrill, neurotic hysteric with a savage temper. Our relationship is stormy, but at least I can be honest with her - if I disagree with her, I can tell her to take her opinions and stuff them up her Buick-sized ass. I forgive her mainly because I realize that she has been royally fucked over by her parents and her siblings. But I still prefer to spend as little time around her as I can.

I spend the vast majority of my time around these people, and I loathe every minute of it. If I could leave, I would. But I'm stuck.

The common theme that unites all of these people is that, with few exceptions, they have no fucking clue about anything (least of all themselves), and yet they are totally convinced of the superiority of their ideas. In conversation after conversation with them, the message comes through loud and clear: "I know everything; you know nothing."

When I deal with Relatves A, B, C, and D, I have to keep my mouth shut - they do not tolerate criticism.

So when I look at Dave Cullen, I see all of the traits that remind me about the people I hate - the smarmy know-it-all-ness, the smug sense of superiority, the absolute intolerance for diversity of thought. He's like an amalgamation of every asshole I ever met.

He's also easy to mock, because he's such an arrogant schmuck. Take a gander at his Twitter feed - "Oh, look, I'm on CNN again! Every time someone shoots up a school or a shopping mall, I'm there!"

It makes sick to think that, in this world, people like him are respected and admired.

There are so many shysters who enjoy unearned praise and undeserved success. If I could succeed in exposing just one of them as a palpable fraud, I might feel a little better about humanity.

But the vast majority of people are stupid and easily manipulated. So Cullen will probably remain the World's Premiere Expert on Mass Shootings for some time to come.

I told you I was a cynical asshole. But I still have enough idealism in me to hope - pray, even - that one day someone will come along and write a Columbine narrative that doesn't distort the truth beyond recognition.

On the cosmic scale, Cullen's crimes are trivial. But I get so sick of wallowing in bullshit all the time.

Well, let me say this. The reason why I mention it is because, in my mind, it explains a lot of the venom that you see in Eric's journal.

See, I identify more with Eric than I do with Dylan. I'm not objective, but I don't pretend to be.

Cullen admits that, while researching the book, he identified with Dylan, but he claims that his book is objective. I call bullshit on that. Cullen makes excuse after excuse for Dylan. Where ambiguity exists, he inserts unfounded (and unidentified) speculation that makes Dylan look like Eric's victim.

I don't hate my relatives - at least, not when they don't do things that remind me of how rotten they can be. But there are moments where I truly mean every nasty, hurtful thing I can think of to say about them.

People have this idea that the nastiest things you think about people are the "true" thoughts, and the nicest things you think about them are the "fake" ones. But it doesn't work that way. There are times when I truly love Relative E, and wish nothing but happiness for her; and there are times when I want to wring her fucking neck. I get so angry at her that the hatred just boils up inside of me. At that point, I usually explode. But then I calm down and I feel guilty that I ever had such unpleasant thoughts.

Writing is cathartic. I'll never be able to tell Relative A that she's a total fucking dumbass with shit for brains - her husband left her millions of dollars, and she pissed away most of it - because I fear the consequences. But I can say it here, and get out of my system, and then I can try to emphasize her good parts.

I have this image of Eric seething with anger at life's various injustices (real and perceived - remember, he was luckier than most), and sitting down to unleash all of that anger in his journal.

I don't know if I should say this, but I wonder whether a man like Cullen can truly "get" a boy like Eric. It's not that Cullen is gay and Eric was straight, but that he has (and Dylan had) a feminine temperament and Eric had a masculine one.

Eric's writing is stereotypically manly - he doesn't beat around the bush, wallowing in girly feelings-talk; he gets right to the point. "I hate the fucking world, and if you disagree with me, you can take your opinion and shove it up your rectum." He doesn't bother to rationalize his resentment, or to apologize for feeling certain things - he just lets it all out.

But there are holes in his He-Man facade. Boys are not supposed to cry, but Eric starts to cry in one of the basement tapes. (He immediately shuts off the camcorder, to conceal his failure to control his emotions.) His last journal entry clearly shows the battle being waged inside him - "Rah, rah, rah, I'm goin' NBK - wah, wah, wah, I can't get laid!"

Cullen talks about Eric's displays of emotional control as if it were evidence of his pathology - "Hey, look, this guy never showed any feelings! (When he did show them, they were fake.) He's clearly a psychopath!" But maybe Eric was just doing what society tells boys to do - "Shut up and take it like a man. Don't show anyone how you truly feel."

Again, these are my subjective opinions, based on my own individual perspective. Take them or leave them.

Because it is an interesting subject.