My interest in Columbine started sometime around the 10 year remembrance. All the talk in the news about it got my attention and as I started down the rabbit hole I quickly realized there was more going on in Littleton, Colorado in 1999 than we knew at the time, I got hooked. In my research I came across a popular forum that was full of information and who's members all had differing opinions on the tragedy. I became a member of that forum to join in on the discussion and to try and find more information. I'm sure by now you know I'm talking about this very forum. Sadly after a few years the forum owners decided to shut it down without warning. Years of discussion, information, photos, stories, everything gone in a split second. I was devastated. I had lost the place where I could chat with people with a similar interest, and now it's gone. After a few weeks some former members had made a new forum, the one we see today. However it was just not the same, all the info was gone and very little chance of getting it back. A lot of the member's didn't comeback either. I'm sure the forum going down had made them lose interest and they just moved on with their lives.
Since the original forum shutdown, and starting to feel like no new information was being found, my interest in the tragedy also began to fade. Honestly I'm kinda glad it did cause I was starting to feel like I was obsessing over it a bit. Part of me wanted to go back in time to stop the shooting from happening so I didn't have to think about it. Over the years stuff would pop up about Columbine. A video from one of the injured, the cafeteria footage of E&D planting the bombs, Sue Klebold's book, and of course the tragic story of Austin Eubanks (RIP). We as a country are still not even close to getting past Columbine, considering how often it's mentioned in pop culture even today. I know I still think about from time to time.
As of now you might be wondering why I'm making this post. It's because after years of wanting to go to Colorado and see the place where the tragedy happened, I'm finally getting to do so. In May I fly out to Denver and should be getting there around 7:00am. I'm only spending one night in Denver and I'm going with someone else. My second day there I will be visiting the memorial that's next to the school and that's about as close to the school as I can get due to kids being in class. If I was going alone I would spend more time visiting places in Columbine lore as well as visiting the graves of the deceased, but I can't. I remember a few years ago there was talk of the school being demolished and a new one built due to all the weirdo's who keep going there (I know I'm not helping this but I'm also not trying to trespass on school grounds while students are there, I'm not trying to get arrested) so I'm glad I still get my chance.
I'm not really sure what the point of this post is or why I'm talking about it. Maybe just trying to reach out to some people just to chat about it again for a bit. Sadly most of the members who I shared view points with are long gone. Another part of me feels kinda bad that one big reason why I'm taking this trip is to go look at a high school (I'm also visiting Utah, Arizona, and other places so it's not that bad).
I think another reason why I got hooked on Columbine is because I was in a bad place back then. I was in between jobs and struggling financially and I guess as a way to cope with that I needed something to take my mind of the hardship and Columbine happened to be that thing.
Well for the time being I'm back, hope to chat. Later.
"I'd rather die my way than live yours."- Lauren Oliver