Columbine Related Dreams

I have researched Columbine for many a year, almost since the beginning. Yet I have never had dreams pertaining to Columbine. Although I recently did have a dream where I was chasing 3 chickens wearing little backpacks, and flip-flops. Just one of those dreams where you wake up thinking "WTF!?" I often have very strange dreams. I have went thru my dream analysis related books and have been trying to find anything remotely relatable on the Internet. So far I have found nothing. Now I'm just left wondering what those little cluckers had in their backpacks.

I had a dream about Eric Harris fighting arch viles in a forest, ducking behind trees to dodge their attack.

I'm busy and can't really be that active on the forum and I usually come back to this forum when I have a columbine dream, well I had one more, a week ago.

I was in my elementary school, I was holding a tech 9, exactly like Dylan's, I had a trench coat, exactly like Dylan's and in all honesty I felt like I was Dylan, but the only person from Dylan's world was Eric, who was by my side. It was weird, I felt like me, but I felt like Dylan as well, I think I even thought about him like where is he because I could see Eric, but still... I was holding Dylan's guns, and even felt quite tall.

In the dream, we didn't really enter my school, we just happened to be in the hallway, Eric and me/Dylan. Then we immediately fired at some kids in the hallway, killed them all, the walls were bloody, Eric was excited and I hate to say this but in the dream I felt really nice as well. Usually when I dream these stuff I feel guilty, I feel regret and wake up as it feels like a nightmare, but this time it was different.

Initially I felt really good as did Eric. But as the dream progressed, the feeling of guilt was slowly building up. We entered a classroom, the kids were scared shitless. Eric and me paraded with guns, saying how we'll kill everyone.

Then I said "nah we won't kill everyone, don't worry kids". And then I sat down by some kid, I sat down by him because he reminded me of me when I was in elementary school. He immediately started crying saying he doesn't want to die. I grabbed him by his lower hand and tapped on his wrist saying "don't worry you won't die, stop crying, I've chosen you". Then I proceeded to tell him about all the times I was bullied in elementary school (I really was) and that is why I'm doing this.

Then I got up and saw Eric was about to slice some kid's arm with an axe, by this time the feeling of guild was adding up, and I just crawled up in my trench coat as Eric was cutting that kid, he was screaming.

Then suddenly, we went out to the hall again, and there were A LOT of people there. Eric said something about them being good target practice. But suddenly I saw my mom there, she was smiling, proud to see her son, almost as if she's picking me up from school. And all I could think about is how I messed everything up, I started approaching her, my eyes were tearing up, and I was looking for some wretched excuse which would explain all the terrible things I've done that day and was also looking for a way to tell her that I would be dying that day.

At that moment, it really felt like a nightmare and I woke up, the feelings of regret were so strong and I was so glad I was back in the real world, in my room, safe and sound.

I've had a few but nothing scary. Mostly chatting with Dylan and then realizing who he is and wanting to awkwardly ask him what his thoughts were during massacre.

Oddly enough I had a dream last night that I went out for drinks with Robyn Anderson. THAT was random.

I had no dreams about Columbine so far. The closest thing I had was a dream about driving a Prelude similar to one Eric had.

I haven't had any dreams related to Columbine, but I did have one dream involving Adam Lanza. The more comprehensible parts of the dream involved me and my brother being stuck in a parking lot, and Adam coming to give us a ride home. Before doing so we stopped by at a nearby grocery store with extremely bizarre dimensions , and Adam presented an ID saying that he was born in the 1800's. He then drove us home, after which the dream turned into incomprehensible nonsense. This was a while ago so I don't remember much, but Adam seemed like a very nice person.

I wasn't sure whether or not to post this, as I feel kinda weird sharing it, but here goes...

After midnight when it became the 11th, I had a very unexpected dream. It was a typical school day and I was walking up to my old high school. As I was approaching the building I saw Dylan walking toward me in the clothes he was wearing on 4/20, the only difference being he had his sunglasses on.

The funny thing about dreams is that they can suppress all logic and this dream was no exception. I remember being aware they were going to commit the massacre at my high school but he didn't mention this to me, nor was he brandishing any weapons. Eric didn't appear in the dream at all for some reason. We exchanged greetings and Dylan told me that his "friend" was waiting for him and he had to go. Strangely, I could tell that he was reluctant to meet up with Eric and I asked him if he was alright. He said he was but then he said something to the effect of "Let's just go" and we walked away from the school together. I asked if his friend would be mad at him but he said he didn't care about that and he would "get over it".

He led me down the street in the opposite direction and into a wooded area where there were only a few houses dotting the top of the hill. I continued to follow him until we reached a decrepit looking barn - the kind of barn you wouldn't be surprised to find a body in. I didn't want to go inside but he assured me it was okay and there was nothing bad inside. I was surprised to see it was set up like a makeshift movie theater in there, with old dusty folding chairs lining the floor and a projector playing a black and white movie on the wall. There was no light other than the morning peeking through the crevices and what the projector was giving off.

There was already an older man inside watching it. He didn't even bother to look back at us or say hi. I felt really weirded out by this point but Dylan had us sit down and watch the movie anyway. Eventually I forgot about the other man and he paid no mind to us at all. While we were watching the movie, Dylan put his arm around me and pulled me closer to him. Through his body language, he tried encouraging me to relax. I felt this bizarre sense of euphoria and peace wash over me just sitting there with him and watching the movie. It was the oddest thing ever.

When I woke up the dream kept me in a really good, but weird mood for the rest of the day. I kept thinking about it and that same kind of euphoria lingered for most of the day. It felt like Dylan paid me a "birthday visit", if that makes sense. It was especially unusual for me because I don't believe that people live on after they die. I still don't really know what to make of it.

The first dream I ever had of Columbine, Dylan killed me at the West Entrance to the school as I was running up the stairs. Judging by THIS dream, I'd say he likes me now? haha

What was the black and white movie about?

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] It seemed like a romance to me because I remember a woman (who looked sorta like Greta Garbo but with an obvious 40s aesthetic) having a passionate argument with a well groomed man wearing a fedora and suit, in the vein of Casablanca or something. Dream logic made the movie silent and the only thing I could hear during the film was a song called "Sometimes" by My Bloody Valentine. It wasnt coming from the movie, it was just the "soundtrack" from the dream itself, so to speak. I swear Im not making this up, the dream was just so...well, dreamy! I will link the song later cos Im at work.

I have been having a bunch of weird dreams since I've read SK's book and I've been researching for my film.

Last night I was in a huge attic and it was cluttered with papers, back packs, it was dusty and it was dark out. There was a woman in the attic with me and she was staring at me. Then someone I discovered was EH left one of the rooms and I went to go in and she closed it, she said I couldn't go in. She asked me if I knew what day it was. I said no. She said it was April 20th and it was 5 am, there wasn't much time left.

I asked her if we could stop it. Then a strange man all in white, with a glow about him grabbed my arms and started screaming at me. I gave him a hug.. odd I know. He said I couldn't stop it and I had to leave.

So I ended up at my parents old house but I was in my current city (not my hometown). I told them there wasn't much time, it was day time and I started running down the street. My mom was chasing me and I told her we had to stop Dylan but it was too late. It was daytime and the damage was done. I knew and couldn't stop the shooting. I woke up.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] Man I really hate those dreams where you're running late and you desperately need to do something and everything in the dream is designed to keep you from doing it! I've had those quite a number of times.

I forgot about this but here's the song from Dylan's "birthday dream". It was in my head all day on the 11th.

Any Columbine related dream I have Dylan is an ass hole to me and Eric and everyone else is sweet. I haven't had a ton of them but Dylan ALWAYS is mean.

My mind betrayed me and I had an erotic dream and the worst part is he just laid there while I did all the work. Jerk...I didn't mean for it to happen, dammit.

Screamingophelia wrote:

My mind betrayed me and I had an erotic dream and the worst part is he just laid there while I did all the work. Jerk...I didn't mean for it to happen, dammit.

Sorry that happened, having to do all the work sucks whether its in real life or just a dream.

Screamingophelia wrote:

My mind betrayed me and I had an erotic dream and the worst part is he just laid there while I did all the work. Jerk...I didn't mean for it to happen, dammit.

Are you talking about Eric or Dylan?

Eric. I haven't had one in a REALLY long time. I'm like "I thought I grew out of that" it's not like I find either of them unattractive in a physical sense, I don't. My few Dylan dreams are him yelling at me.

I tend to have REALLY intricate dreams that I remember really well, so it isn't a surprise who shows up in them. Random person who checked me out at the supermarket, you are now somehow my mother in a dream.. it's odd.

Shadowed, UGH I know right... I had an ex that was such a pillow princess.

Screamingophelia wrote:

.Shadowed, UGH I know right... I had an ex that was such a pillow princess.

I've had a dream where I was in the library at the time when Eric and Dylan entered. I was just hiding under the table listening those kids being shot and then they came to my table. They said Who's there?
and then I said It's me. Then I asked them if I could join them. They were like You wanna join us? Sure!
Eric gave me his semi-auto rifle and then we went on killing a lot of more people and at the end killing ourselves.
Look I know you are going to think that I'm some kind of a psychopath but its just a dream

I had a dream I beat my friend in the head with a baseball bat. It happens.

I had a dream my school got shot up, not sure if it was Eric and Dylan though since
I started running when I heard the gunshots getting closer.
Honestly I'm kind of jealous of the people who have really random dreams on Columbine
they're just so much more pleasant than what I ended up with.

DooMRebel wrote:

I've had a dream where I was in the library at the time when Eric and Dylan entered. I was just hiding under the table listening those kids being shot and then they came to my table. They said Who's there?
and then I said It's me. Then I asked them if I could join them. They were like You wanna join us? Sure!
Eric gave me his semi-auto rifle and then we went on killing a lot of more people and at the end killing ourselves.
Look I know you are going to think that I'm some kind of a psychopath but its just a dream

I had a dream where I shot up a mall. I was running around with a glock shooting people before taking a senator hostage. Shot her in the head on live TV.

In my next installment of "Screaming Ophelia randomly talks to Eric Harris" I bring you last nights dream. Again I dream a LOT about many different people and my dreams are always vivid so since I've been researching the case again (and writing my short film on a shooting) it's not that odd that I have been dreaming about this.

So I'm in my families old house in my home town. There is a bunch of chat logs printed out and Eric is in my living room with me and we are looking over the old AOL chat logs. It isn't the screen name I used but it was me. Eric says "you were so cold at first but I won you over and we became friends!" I laughed and told him I spent some time in Denver but couldn't look him up, I went to Cherry Creek HS not Columbine, my mom wouldn't let me since I was a true crime buff. He said "yea we don't like it when people go to Columbine for anything other than school" I said I imagine. I told him I had gotten my BFA and a Masters degree. So we're chatting like old friends, looking at our old yearbooks and I grabbed some drinks and said "so we never did talk about that whole thing" He smiled and said "what?" I said well, you're a murderer. He said "I am" I said "you did a huge massacre, it was terrifying and awful and people asked me about being your friend. I told him you were totally normal with me, but you just stopped talking to me" He said "thanks for that!" I told him it was no problem and it was good to see him again. He said it was nice to see me, he said he was staunchly anti massacre now and that one day he was having small talk with people and they mentioned Columbine and he had to tell them "I'm the one who did it" We talked a little more and I woke up.

I had a dream I was sitting in the cafeteria with Eric ( I was sitting towards him) we talked& I said something to him that made him smile wish I could remember the hell I said well at least I saw him smiling [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

I had a scary one last night. Shooting related, though I did casually mention Dylan...

I was in a big office building with a bunch of people, in the lobby. A woman runs in and tells the front desk that someone is a couple blocks away with a gun. So the front desk person tells us all to run OUT of the building. I start running after people telling them to go back inside. No one listens to me. We're running outside, I don't have service on my phone and I tell someone "just talk to him if he tries to shoot you, that's how people got Dylan not to shoot them. Dylan will not shoot me"

So we all run into an alley and line up against the wall. I'm thinking "Okay, we are sitting ducks" the gun is going off and there is already a therapist there talking to people. I told the therapist that I had a sweater in my bag, in case someone needs to stop their bleeding. They can wrap the sweater around them. The person next to me says the shooter wants to kill 19 people and we are all going to be dead. The shooter comes down the alley, kills 2 people next to me, looks me dead in the eye and I wake up.

I'm at the Harris' house and I receive a clear, plastic storage bin filled with Eric's stuff and evidence. I open the bin and the item on the top is a blue spiral notebook, which is supposed to be Eric's journal. I flip to the back of the journal and start looking through it backwards. It's math equations and math homework done very neatly in colorful gel pens (similar to Rachel's writing.) I'm thinking to myself "Wow, these are so much clearer than the black and white scans available online."
I wish I got to look through the other stuff in that bin, but my dream ended there.

I had one where I was just walking through the shops having a great day when these two shooters came around the corner firing shots at everyone, of course I drew my pistol and shot them both, saving many lives.

BehindZeroProxies wrote:

I had one where I was just walking through the shops having a great day when these two shooters came around the corner firing shots at everyone, of course I drew my pistol and shot them both, saving many lives.

can you even own pistols in Australia

-warrior wrote:

BehindZeroProxies wrote:

I had one where I was just walking through the shops having a great day when these two shooters came around the corner firing shots at everyone, of course I drew my pistol and shot them both, saving many lives.

can you even own pistols in Australia

You can if you have a license, I don't have one irl but it was a dream.

BehindZeroProxies wrote:

-warrior wrote:

BehindZeroProxies wrote:

I had one where I was just walking through the shops having a great day when these two shooters came around the corner firing shots at everyone, of course I drew my pistol and shot them both, saving many lives.

can you even own pistols in Australia

You can if you have a license, I don't have one irl but it was a dream.

i thought they banned them, i assumed you could only own shotguns or small caliber rifles

-warrior wrote:

BehindZeroProxies wrote:

-warrior wrote:

BehindZeroProxies wrote:

I had one where I was just walking through the shops having a great day when these two shooters came around the corner firing shots at everyone, of course I drew my pistol and shot them both, saving many lives.

can you even own pistols in Australia

You can if you have a license, I don't have one irl but it was a dream.

i thought they banned them, i assumed you could only own shotguns or small caliber rifles

It's easier to get shotguns and rifles, though they're still hard to get
Handguns are extremely hard to get
Can't actually use guns for self defence here anyway lmao, if you shoot at someone robbing your house you're pretty much fucked

BehindZeroProxies wrote:

-warrior wrote:

BehindZeroProxies wrote:

-warrior wrote:

BehindZeroProxies wrote:

I had one where I was just walking through the shops having a great day when these two shooters came around the corner firing shots at everyone, of course I drew my pistol and shot them both, saving many lives.

can you even own pistols in Australia

You can if you have a license, I don't have one irl but it was a dream.

i thought they banned them, i assumed you could only own shotguns or small caliber rifles

It's easier to get shotguns and rifles, though they're still hard to get
Handguns are extremely hard to get
Can't actually use guns for self defence here anyway lmao, if you shoot at someone robbing your house you're pretty much fucked

lmao, in Oklahoma a guy shot and killed 3 people in house with an AR and didnt get charged, the get away driver got charged with 3 counts of felony murder

I have had a few recent surreal ones.

- I was chilling with Dylan on the couch in Mike. V's house watching TV when I saw a white columbine flower on the floor so I walked over and picked it up.

- Another one was when I was walking with him down the hallway of my old high school having a conversation we got to the end of the hall and he smiled at me. then I woke up. I was super sad since I couldn't remember what he said to me.

i had weird dream there was a shooting at my school  the only diffrence was the cops  were shooting  at the students for some reason.    we were running  playing dead. then  hiding at someones house backyard or something
idk if thats a hint about columbine cause there were reports that cops were shooting at students from the roof dan rorbough for example he was running i think he was shot near the fence (entry) . and there were reports about more than 2 shooters


now to this theory:
idk why ,but i dont buy brooks story for some reason.  i wonder if he saw dan rohrbough at that time..
didnt he say he went home or something after eric told him to go home at the parking lot ? didnt eric wear a mask as some ppl claimed since a mask was found near the fence?
brooks and victims must´ve seen that especially rachel she was not at the smoking pit that day..

tfsa47090 wrote:

The other night I had a dream that Eric Harris' parents decided to release a large number of Eric's baby and childhood photos to a news agency. This news agency posted them on their website. All of them were from the time period prior to their moving to Plattsburgh, NY.

Eric had blonde-ish hair as a baby, similar to his Halloween photo from when he was a small child.

He was very happy in all of the photos, and in some of them, he was smiling very broadly, and smiling with his eyes as well.

aww

Guest wrote:

Talk about creepy. I found this thread because I just had a dream last night and wanted to share it.  In the dream, I was in my own basement in the middle of night watching the basement tapes and during the course of watching Dylan and Eric converse, they then start talking to me directly by name (!) as if they know me and addressing me through the tv asking me why the hell I want to know so much about them and telling me to "fuck off" and leave them alone. They then went back to talking between themselves as if nothing happened.  I am still unnerved by this dream and having a hard time shaking this feeling of dread.

i bet to 100 the boys know about that crazy Eric Harris fangirl on youtube Named Lynn Ann. Also fancfictions,Imagines about them named . not surprised

Rebbie556 wrote:

Guest wrote:

Talk about creepy. I found this thread because I just had a dream last night and wanted to share it.  In the dream, I was in my own basement in the middle of night watching the basement tapes and during the course of watching Dylan and Eric converse, they then start talking to me directly by name (!) as if they know me and addressing me through the tv asking me why the hell I want to know so much about them and telling me to "fuck off" and leave them alone. They then went back to talking between themselves as if nothing happened.  I am still unnerved by this dream and having a hard time shaking this feeling of dread.

i bet to 100 the boys know about that crazy  Eric Harris  fangirl on youtube  Named Lynn Ann. Also fancfictions,Imagines about them named .    not surprised  

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] I had to dig through my meme stash! But came up with these gems.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

ShadowedGoddess wrote:

Rebbie556 wrote:

Guest wrote:

Talk about creepy. I found this thread because I just had a dream last night and wanted to share it.  In the dream, I was in my own basement in the middle of night watching the basement tapes and during the course of watching Dylan and Eric converse, they then start talking to me directly by name (!) as if they know me and addressing me through the tv asking me why the hell I want to know so much about them and telling me to "fuck off" and leave them alone. They then went back to talking between themselves as if nothing happened.  I am still unnerved by this dream and having a hard time shaking this feeling of dread.

i bet to 100 the boys know about that crazy  Eric Harris  fangirl on youtube  Named Lynn Ann. Also fancfictions,Imagines about them named .    not surprised  

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] I had to dig through my meme stash! But came up with these gems.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

OMG!

Eric:*Internal Screech*
Dylan: *Trying not to laugh* "Good Luck brah!"

ShadowedGoddess wrote:

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] I had to dig through my meme stash! But came up with these gems.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

WOW! Someone older than 20 with a meme stash. I admire you

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]  Way past twenty, and my Meme stash is quite extensive! I've collected this stuff for years!

ShadowedGoddess wrote:

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]  Way past twenty, and my Meme stash is quite extensive! I've collected this stuff for years!

Now that's a great hobby.

I had a dream I was at Columbine on 4/20 morning, and it looked different. I was at the back of the school where there was nobody around at the top of the stairs at a banister and I looked down and Dylan walked up the stairs briefly with his shotgun in his hand, he was looking around to see if the coast was clear and he saw me and smiled and walked back down hiding his gun.

I walked down the stairs and it was a little room with just one door to the outside and nobody around, and for some reason Eric was just putting his pouches on his pants and getting ready with his gear. He wore a black shirt with skull patterns on it and Dylan had his serial killer shirt on and his hair in a pony tail. It appeared they weren't even ready yet with their uniforms for the day and still getting prepared.

I walked up to them and told them I knew about it and I told them I came from the future and went into detail about everything to them. I pat Eric on the back and told him that it wasn't too late to stop and they both looked miserable and after they heard what I had said it looked like it had changed their mind about going through with it. Then for whatever reason I woke up, and then I started to question for a few seconds if that had really happened or not.

spidEr wrote:

I had a dream I was at Columbine on 4/20 morning, and it looked different. I was at the back of the school where there was nobody around at the top of the stairs at a banister and I looked down and Dylan walked up the stairs briefly with his shotgun in his hand, he was looking around to see if the coast was clear and he saw me and smiled and walked back down hiding his gun.

I walked down the stairs and it was a little room with just one door to the outside and nobody around, and for some reason Eric was just putting his pouches on his pants and getting ready with his gear. He wore a black shirt with skull patterns on it and Dylan had his serial killer shirt on and his hair in a pony tail. It appeared they weren't even ready yet with their uniforms for the day and still getting prepared.

I walked up to them and told them I knew about it and I told them I came from the future and went into detail about everything to them. I pat Eric on the back and told him that it wasn't too late to stop and they both looked miserable and after they heard what I had said it looked like it had changed their mind about going through with it. Then for whatever reason I woke up, and then I started to question for a few seconds if that had really happened or not.

Wow...
i wonder if the boys regret what they did

Had a dream where Dylan delivered pizza to my house.

It was dumb af

MellonCollie wrote:

Had a dream where Dylan delivered pizza to my house.

It was dumb af

Lollll sorry but this is really funny to me

Littlelo wrote:

MellonCollie wrote:

Had a dream where Dylan delivered pizza to my house.

It was dumb af

Lollll sorry but this is really funny to me

It is funny 
I remember waking up sad because I didn't have pizza

I dream really vividly as I mentioned and anyone can be in my dream at anytime. So last night I had a dream that I was about 100 miles from home, which makes since because I spent Christmas Eve at a friends who lives pretty far. I'm getting over a cold so I thought I had to take an Uber home if he wanted to stay later and my dream was that I took an Uber home and it was a 3 hour drive and my driver was Eric... sighs... we had a nice chat. It was $400 and he was really sweet. He got 5 stars. I didn't ask him why he enjoyed popping up in my dreams. Like the weird one I had when I started researching again after about 10 years of not looking into anything and he kept insisting we used to talk on AIM... Eric is always nice but when Dylan pops up he usually yells at me or is very sad. I had a dream that I spent Christmas at his house while he was wasting away and mute. He died and I stayed for dinner.. it was REALLY weird.

I had two recently, the first dream was Eric had been caught by the police and was in jail, he looked kind of like Timothy McVeigh in orange prison overalls for some reason and it was many years later and he was laughing about how stupid he was as a teenager and when news reporters came to interview him behind a window, he would just be disrespectful to them and refuse to answer their questions.

The second dream I was in the back seat of Dylan's car as he was driving me to school, and he was talking to Devon Adams who was sitting beside him at the front. I remember him being a really good driver and we stopped at the mall first, Eric was inside of a candy store lining up and we met him there then I followed them to a bar, and they sat down and everyone inside just completely froze like time had stopped, then I walked out because I thought it was strange.

After I had walked out Dylan followed me and we started walking through the mall, and it began to look like an old European town from the middle ages with tight alleyways with old buildings either side with windows of mummified bodies inside and it started to get really creepy. Then I turned around and there was a group of about fifteen people in long black cloaks and dark green porcelain masks and I told Dylan about it and he said it is probably a joke, but they started getting closer to us and at that point he had ran off like an Olympic runner and I was left alone, I tried to run but I couldn't my legs were moving slow. Then I woke.

I had a dream awhile ago when I was first getting into Columbine, and it scared the shit out of me. In my dream, Dylan, Eric, and my friend Alex had kidnapped me and my other best friend Hannah (who is also really into investigating Columbine). They made us stand on little squares and if we stepped off, Alex would threaten to kill us and shoot at our feet. Well one night, I decided if we were going to live, we needed to kill Alex, so I took his pistol and smashed his head in (it was really awkward talking to him after that dream for awhile).
Anyways, Hannah and I hauled ass through a corn field and we could hear Eric and Dylan in some kind of golf cart chasing us, and I told Hannah to hide and I ran another few feet and hid. I heard a gunshot and I knew Hannah had died, so I began running again through another cornfield, but he cornered me and I was about to run again, but Eric pointed a gun to my head and said, "If you don't get in the damn cart, I'm going to blow your damn head off". So I got in the cart, and the last thing I remember was thinking that I was going to die anyways, and I would rather get shot now than get raped (which in real life I don't think either of them would have raped anyone if it came down to it) and then shot, so I jumped out and I woke up when I hit the ground.
I suppose that's what happens when you read too much on columbine while watching Criminal Minds,

Ok, so I had my first dream that relates a bit to columbine.

In the dream I am studying to become a doctor or something because I am often in labs and sometimes have patients. I feel that I am not being appreciated at my school and that people find me weird because of how hard I try to impress the teachers and live up to my potential. One day I am sitting and eating lunch with some girls from my class. I can barely pay attention to what they are saying because I find them very boring. But then I snap out of it and hear them say something about me. Now I dont remember exactly what they said but I remember one of the girls shrugging and saying "well she's ok" like I'm not even there. It was regarding either my work or my friendship because I take it very personally. I say to myself, fuck this, and I just stand up, kick away my chair and jump over the table and make my way out as fast as possible, kicking away/moving chairs as I go. Not in a violent manner but more in a I have to get out of here-manner.

They just look at me like I'm a psychopath.

After this scene I can only remember 3 other scenes out of the dream.

One is near traintracks with a field on one side of it and big skyscrapers on the other side of it. I am standing in the rain with multiple girls but only one of them is paying attention to me and is asking me why I am so angry and I am completely devastated.

Then there is one scene on the back of the school bulding where I am running down a hill toward a windmill in stone and I lay down behind it and see a shooter coming down the hill and I hope she did not see me. (this scene is kind of a flashback because I recall this memory as I walk by the windmill in the rain and storm from the previous scene)
I see blood on my hands but I dont think it's mine. I lie down to play dead.

I get an outside perspective and see that I am actually a boy and not a girl.

Then the last scene. I am in the back seat of a car with tinted windows. I cant see out and people cant see in either. I dont remember any conversation from this scene but Dylan is sitting next to me and he doesn't want to look at me and he is giving of an impression of being disappointed but also a bit nonchalant.

And basically I come to terms with that I was the shooter but was too traumatized to remember it and my psyche had forced me to adopt the perspective of a victim instead. I feel helpless and Dylan doesn't say anything about where we are going.

Just had a dream that I was Chris Morris. I was getting angry at Columbine researchers or worshipers, as they didn't know them but I did. I was looking back on the days that I knew Eric and Dylan. I met Eric when I was 16 walking to school alone and he called me over to walk with him. During this time he was a completely different person and very friendly. He invited me to his house and showed me a shoe box full of old WW2 photographs that his grandfather passed down to Wayne. He would later introduce me to Dylan and they'd hang out at my house listening to music with me.

Outside my window was a football field full of players and cheerleaders in dark blue uniforms with C on it. They were playing against another team with red uniforms. I was not involved with it at all, and it was ironic because I was the person who lived so close to it and had a view of the whole games that they played but wasn't interested. I had hung out with Dylan at a field and he asked me to take poloroids of him pointing up and he would later draw UFO's on the photos. After the shooting I regretted not keeping those photos. During the last months leading up to the massacre Eric and Dylan acted different, and stopped talking with me or anyone else and would become angry and isolated.