Columbine: Always on your mind

What a corny topic title.

Anyway.. Lately, I feel like Columbine has officially taken over my everyday thoughts. I've been at an amusement park since Thursday, and everywhere I look I see people who look like the victims & Dylan and Eric. Even my little sister who was ironically born 3 and a half weeks after Columbine happened, wore an outfit yesterday that looked almost exactly like what Rachel was said to be wearing when she was killed. She was wearing a black tank top, recently dyed her hair to that red, with a purple-ish tent, had a plaid shirt wrapped around her waist, same colored shoes. The only difference was that she was wearing shorts

In recent months, it's seems to be that I notice more people who resemble Eric, Danny R, Rachel, and Daniel Mauser the most. That always seems to be in rotation, though. And always such a weird thing to explain. Lol.

I know i'm not the only one, but i'm interested to know if any of would like to share your own experiences/stories?

I know how you feel ... I have other things that I think about, but I think about these people I've never met far more than I should.

Some years ago, I corresponded with a teacher at the school who knew Rachel, Dylan, and Daniel. In retrospect, I realize that she was more than polite, answering some fairly personal questions. But, at the time, I was offended when she said, "Columbine has nothing to do with you." She also told me, basically, that I should get over it.

But now I see that she was right - it has nothing to do with me. It fascinates me, but it is not my tragedy.

She also said that, after the massacre, a bunch of people in the Denver area put bumper stickers on their cars: "We Are All Columbine." Apparently the teachers and the kids at the school resented it deeply. It was their tragedy - only they could know what it was like.

She said that the most offensive thing that people said to her was, "I understand." She gritted her teeth and bore it, but internally she seethed: "How the hell can you understand what it's like if you've never been through it?"

If I ever meet someone who had a personal connection to the massacre, I hope I have enough presence of mind to say, "I can never know or understand what it was like to be there, and I would never presume to tell you that I do ... but I do believe I can gain some kind of an understanding as to why it happened. That is my goal."

Oh yes, it's on my mind allot. I won't be thinking about it at all and then something will happen that will remind me. Like the other day driving home, I pass a Harris bank and sure enough I start thinking about Eric. Or whenever I see the words natural selection, not only does it remind me of them, I now see it as- for lack of a better word- intimidating? Plus a lot of songs remind me of it. So yeah it really is on my mind perhaps more than it should be.

What a coincidence -- yesterday I crossed paths with a guy who looked like Eric's twin! In demeanor as well.

I couldn't stop looking at him the whole time (I tried to be discreet)... I kept imagining I was looking at Eric (one didn't need much imagination for that). Was a weird feeling, but nice.

Something else I sometimes find myself thinking is "okay, if this random person in this random place I happen to currently be decides to "pull a Columbine" and draws a gun, how should I react, where should I dive for cover, etc."

In other words: [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

LPorter101 wrote:

I know how you feel ... I have other things that I think about, but I think about these people I've never met far more than I should.

Some years ago, I corresponded with a teacher at the school who knew Rachel, Dylan, and Daniel. In retrospect, I realize that she was more than polite, answering some fairly personal questions. But, at the time, I was offended when she said, "Columbine has nothing to do with you." She also told me, basically, that I should get over it.

But now I see that she was right - it has nothing to do with me. It fascinates me, but it is not my tragedy.

She also said that, after the massacre, a bunch of people in the Denver area put bumper stickers on their cars: "We Are All Columbine." Apparently the teachers and the kids at the school resented it deeply. It was their tragedy - only they could know what it was like.

She said that the most offensive thing that people said to her was, "I understand." She gritted her teeth and bore it, but internally she seethed: "How the hell can you understand what it's like if you've never been through it?"

If I ever meet someone who had a personal connection to the massacre, I hope I have enough presence of mind to say, "I can never know or understand what it was like to be there, and I would never presume to tell you that I do ... but I do believe I can gain some kind of an understanding as to why it happened. That is my goal."

Wow, that's completely different than most experiences. That's so true, though. We all imagine ourselves in that type of situation, but none of us could ever say "we know how you feel." Even with people who were in the school. No story is ever the same.

Thanks for sharing that.

lio45 wrote:

Something else I sometimes find myself thinking is "okay, if this random person in this random place I happen to currently be decides to "pull a Columbine" and draws a gun, how should I react, where should I dive for cover, etc."

In other words: [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Same! I don't think there's a situation where I don't think about what i'd do or where/how I could possibly escape, if something like that ever happened, like you said. I mean, it's good to be aware of things like that, but at the same time it's really sad that it's got to the point where these thoughts are now almost considered 'normal'. In my opinion, there's no such thing as innocence anymore.

I think about E &D and the victims daily and have for a very long time.
It's been deep in my consciousness since it happened.
I also often think of the various families involved and what they went through and how they are doing today.
I think of E &D's families most often as I think they had it the worst and got little help or sympathy compared to the others.

PaintItBlack wrote:

I think about E &D and the victims daily and have for a very long time.
It's been deep in my consciousness since it happened.
I also often think of the various families involved and what they went through and how they are doing today.
I think of E &D's families most often as I think they had it the worst and got little help or sympathy compared to the others.

I have sympathy for everyone involved, also. No one won that day.

I live in the Littleton area.. rarely a day goes by that something doesn't trigger a Columbine thought.

Nah, I mostly think about it only when I'm on the forums.

Contrary to popular opinion, I have an active professional life and a real life outside NBK and my job ;)

NBK is generally always at the back of my mind somewhere.

I find my own life boring and unsatisfying in almost everyway, so I spend my time focusing on other lives that are more interesting to me than my own (mainly through TV and criminal research).

The thing that frightens me most, is that someone will carry out a massacre and that I will be one of the victims to die. Not because I wish to live longer, but just to die as part of of someone else's story, someone else's life. I need to be in control of my own death.

eli27 wrote:

NBK is generally always at the back of my mind somewhere.

I find my own life boring and unsatisfying in almost everyway, so I spend my time focusing on other lives that are more interesting to me than my own (mainly through TV and criminal research).

The thing that frightens me most, is that someone will carry out a massacre and that I will be one of the victims to die. Not because I wish to live longer, but just to die as part of of someone else's story, someone else's life. I need to be in control of my own death.

I feel the same. None of those kids expected stories of their lives, pictures/baby pictures, grieving family, etc. To be shown all around the world because they were all tragically in the wrong place at the wrong time. I mean, who would? Especially then. Dylan and Eric were the only ones to control their destiny and hopeful 'fame' status. And it's that way with most mass shooters.

paradisedreams wrote:

None of those kids expected stories of their lives, pictures/baby pictures, grieving family, etc. To be shown all around the world because they were all tragically in the wrong place at the wrong time. I mean, who would?

Well, I did myself wonder what it would be like if I was killed by a spree shooter, like an office rampage, a public bus or subway killer or something along these lines.

Heh, imagine the newspapers - "Author of a school shooting movie dies in killing spree!", "Rampage victim was active on columbine forums".

*Dramatic irony and amazing foreshadowing* - Eric would love it.

It takes too much of my mind space, sometimes I wish I had never started.

Sabratha wrote:

paradisedreams wrote:

None of those kids expected stories of their lives, pictures/baby pictures, grieving family, etc. To be shown all around the world because they were all tragically in the wrong place at the wrong time. I mean, who would?

Well, I did myself wonder what it would be like if I was killed by a spree shooter, like an office rampage, a public bus or subway killer or something along these lines.

Heh, imagine the newspapers - "Author of a school shooting movie dies in killing spree!", "Rampage victim was active on columbine forums".

*Dramatic irony and amazing foreshadowing* - Eric would love it.

I've thought the same thing: how weird would it be if one of us was to die in a mass shooting.

They'd probably be checking to see if we were involved somehow.

aubre wrote:

Sabratha wrote:

paradisedreams wrote:

None of those kids expected stories of their lives, pictures/baby pictures, grieving family, etc. To be shown all around the world because they were all tragically in the wrong place at the wrong time. I mean, who would?

Well, I did myself wonder what it would be like if I was killed by a spree shooter, like an office rampage, a public bus or subway killer or something along these lines.

Heh, imagine the newspapers - "Author of a school shooting movie dies in killing spree!", "Rampage victim was active on columbine forums".

*Dramatic irony and amazing foreshadowing* - Eric would love it.

I've thought the same thing: how weird would it be if one of us was to die in a mass shooting.

They'd probably be checking to see if we were involved somehow.

This didn't even cross my mind. Yeah, that would be crazy. I'm sure we all would have the conspiracy theorists on our 'case' if that happened. Despite what we actually thought and felt about the incident. You're not here to defend yourself. That's one thing about Columbine, though.. Their internet access alone was scarce and limited. Now I bet anyone could find probably years worth of internet activity from us, easily.

I was at a kmfdm concert, i swear to God I look about 7 people away from me and this kid look JUST like Dylan, except shorter and he was standing with a dude with the same kmfdm shirt eric had in the eric in columbine video