Tom Mauser's reaction to Sue Klebold's book

I was just reading the excerpt from Walking in Daniel's shoes that said that Tom was upset because neither group of parents had ever talked about lessons that they took away from the shooting. However what I find to be interesting is that now that Sue has published a book explaining exactly what lessons she has learned from it, now she is "cashing in on this tragedy". Also something that pisses me off about him berating her for writing a book is why is it ok for the families of the victims to write books and do whatever they are going to do with the proceeds, but Sue wanted to get out what happened in her family and has decided to donate to mental health research. Its like the pot calling the kettle black. I get it, she is the mother of a murderer, but for so many years everyone has said they wanted to hear from the parents of Eric and Dylan, and now we have heard from Sue. Regardless if she is still a bit in denial, or shows us what she saw in her son, the fact is she has finally opened up. Like I said before I don't understand why Tom and other families can write books, say they are donating the money to the foundations they started in their children's name, but she is writes a book that may be able to help other parents who can stop their children from harming themselves or other people. Sorry for the rant. But I am pretty upset about this. I wasn't upset initially because I could understand why he might be upset, but after reading his letter to the Harris' and after thinking about it deeply. I hate double standards.

I may have posted this in the wrong area. If any admins could move this to the thoughts on the shooting, I would greatly appreciate it. Thanks

To be honest he probably feels a large amount of pain every time he sees or hears her name. There isn't really ever going to be a time or a place where he won't feel upset with her, no matter how much time has passed or what good things she is doing with her life now. I'm sure he doesn't absolutely hate her of course but she will forever be in his mind as someone associated with a great amount of pain.

What bothers me is Tom feels like the parents are hiding something and no matter what Sue writes it's not truthful and that bothers me. It's almost like Tom wants Sue to come out and say "Dylan was a satanist and he sacrificed goats in our backyard". I mean, I can understand his anger but there just isn't anything there. Sue was a good parent, she raised her son well but he just happened to have problems that he hid well.

Jbow89, I most definitely agree with you. Flyerfan I completely understand that it would cause some pain, but my thing is for years everyone wanted to know what Dylan's and Eric's parents had to say about everything. While I believe she still has a bit of denial going on, what I don't agree with is the fact that Tom wrote in his book about wanting answers from their parents. I just feel like it's a damned if you do, damned if don't situation

I don't know if Tom Mauser agrees with his wife but she once came out and said that she refused to meet with Sue and her husband ended up going alone to the meeting because she believe Sue was an" inherant manipulator" ,or along those lines.She said that once on her blog on the salon website.

where did Tom M say all this?

I recall Tom saying that he didn't really have too much issue with the Klebolds since their son did not kill Daniel, but Eric did. However I am sure just their son being present and participating in murders was more than enough to add that additional emotional turmoil.

I understand that Sue is the mother of the kid who helped cause Daniels death, but you can't complain about her not speaking and then flip flop when she does. Saying its a cash grab is actually insulting to people who have mental issues that could be helped by the books proceeds. Its understandable that he's bitter, but its also been 17 long years. If the topic of Columbine hurts him that much then he shouldn't even be speaking to the media. I know it sounds harsh, but its more than a little hypocritical of him when "I'm Not Ashamed" is a real movie coming out. That movie is not only going to profit from the massacre, but its also going to try and raise one victim over the rest. Personally I'd be more mad at the Scott family for that than Sue and her book.

I don't blame any of the victims parents for wanting their child's legacy to live on. I have the utmost respect for Tom Mauser. To me, he really comes across as a truly devoted, passionate father, even all these years later. I mean, the guy even uploaded a video acknowledging all the trolls who have said things to the effect that they're glad his son is dead. I've always appreciated how candid he is on such a painful event in his life. I can also understand his frustration in his search to find the root of the reasons as to why his son died. The sad thing is that, as we all know, the answers aren't necessarily straightforward. There was no justifiable reason for his son (or any of the other 12 victims) to have died that day. It was just senseless violence. Kind of reminds me of the lyrics in Assemblage 23's "Disappoint":

"It's not enough
I've come undone
Trying to find sense
Where there is none"

He told me he wasn't even going to bother reading it!

I recall him saying that he wasn't exactly in a rush to read it. Can't really blame him. I know he's angry as he still believes Sue in still in denial all these years later. I guess people could get that feeling by the way she words certain things in her book/interviews. I feel really bad for Sue, though. I think she has the best intentions and her heart was in the right place. It's so unfair what she's been put through as the result of her son's actions.

Nirvana92 wrote:

I understand that Sue is the mother of the kid who helped cause Daniels death, but you can't complain about her not speaking and then flip flop when she does. Saying its a cash grab is actually insulting to people who have mental issues that could be helped by the books proceeds. Its understandable that he's bitter, but its also been 17 long years. If the topic of Columbine hurts him that much then he shouldn't even be speaking to the media. I know it sounds harsh, but its more than a little hypocritical of him when "I'm Not Ashamed" is a real movie coming out. That movie is not only going to profit from the massacre, but its also going to try and raise one victim over the rest. Personally I'd be more mad at the Scott family for that than Sue and her book.

I agree.
Whilst I believe Tom M is a lovely, passionate man and can completely see where he's coming from, I do agree he flip flops around in regard to the shooter's families.

I really honestly and whole being that something happened to Eric harris in his personal life that has not come to light yet. his parents know something or did something to him that pulled him in the direction he went. why have they been so quiet all these years what are they ashamed of besides their child being a murderer. what are they hiding it just does not feel or look right! things happen behind closed doors.

Also with Sue i think she is milking it but also wants people to know what she has been doing which is ok i guess if used in a positive way but i also think that she does no really get it! she is a state of denial and also really has not fessed up for being bad parent there are good parents and bad ones as the saying goes apple does not fall far from the tree.

just come out and Say I F'ed up!!!

mSinderstood wrote:

Also with Sue i think she is milking it but also wants people to know what she has been doing which is ok i guess if used in a positive way but i also think that she does no really get it! she is a state of denial and also really has not fessed up for being bad parent there are good parents and bad ones as the saying goes apple does not fall far from the tree.

I don't know if Sue was indeed a good or bad parent but she def was oblivious. Was she never told that Dylan was falling asleep in class? That he was picking on Adam Kyler and threatening him? That he had hit a coworker? Or was she just ignoring the signs in front of her?

She mentions him spending a lot of time in his room but did she notice he was losing tons of weight? Did she ever see the "depressioners" on his hand?

I think she just thought Dylan was her golden child and did not pay as much attention to him as she should have.

When your child is massacred along with classmates.. anyone affiliated with the murders could be wearing the wrong color shirt & cause an up rise.

Human nature.

Lizpuff wrote:

mSinderstood wrote:

Also with Sue i think she is milking it but also wants people to know what she has been doing which is ok i guess if used in a positive way but i also think that she does no really get it! she is a state of denial and also really has not fessed up for being bad parent there are good parents and bad ones as the saying goes apple does not fall far from the tree.

I don't know if Sue was indeed a good or bad parent but she def was oblivious.  Was she never told that Dylan was falling asleep in class?  That he was picking on Adam Kyler and threatening him?  That he had hit a coworker?  Or was she just ignoring the signs in front of her?

She mentions him spending a lot of time in his room but did she notice he was losing tons of weight?  Did she ever see the "depressioners" on his hand?

I think she just thought Dylan was her golden child and did not pay as much attention to him as she should have.

This is just my theory and I cannot prove it but I think Dylan was picked on more than he would admit to his parents and he was ashamed to admit this because he was seen as the golden boy and he felt like his parents would see it as some kind of a failing in him that he would be picked on and he feared his parents might look down on this especially since Byron was seen as popular in school and good at athletics.

Lizpuff wrote:

mSinderstood wrote:

Also with Sue i think she is milking it but also wants people to know what she has been doing which is ok i guess if used in a positive way but i also think that she does no really get it! she is a state of denial and also really has not fessed up for being bad parent there are good parents and bad ones as the saying goes apple does not fall far from the tree.

I don't know if Sue was indeed a good or bad parent but she def was oblivious.  Was she never told that Dylan was falling asleep in class?  That he was picking on Adam Kyler and threatening him?  That he had hit a coworker?  Or was she just ignoring the signs in front of her?

She mentions him spending a lot of time in his room but did she notice he was losing tons of weight?  Did she ever see the "depressioners" on his hand?

I think she just thought Dylan was her golden child and did not pay as much attention to him as she should have.

Yeah, poor Sue. She seems like she is a very sensitive and gentle woman. Dylan's reported demeanor is a stark contrast to the impression I get from Sue. Her and Tom seemed like such liberal, almost "hippie' type parents, yet several people in the 11k described Dylan as aggressive at school, said he was openly racist, was fascinated with guns and violence etc.

What shocks me the the most, though, is that Eric admitted he was having homicidal thoughts on his mental health self-evaluation form and the seriousness of that admission seems to have been overlooked. I wonder if it was addressed in particular with Eric, be it by his psychologist or his parents who surely would've seen the form? Or was the homicidal feelings admission simply just lumped in with all of the other thoughts/feelings Eric admitted to having on that form? Pretty crazy stuff.

bubbles wrote:

Lizpuff wrote:

mSinderstood wrote:

Also with Sue i think she is milking it but also wants people to know what she has been doing which is ok i guess if used in a positive way but i also think that she does no really get it! she is a state of denial and also really has not fessed up for being bad parent there are good parents and bad ones as the saying goes apple does not fall far from the tree.

I don't know if Sue was indeed a good or bad parent but she def was oblivious.  Was she never told that Dylan was falling asleep in class?  That he was picking on Adam Kyler and threatening him?  That he had hit a coworker?  Or was she just ignoring the signs in front of her?

She mentions him spending a lot of time in his room but did she notice he was losing tons of weight?  Did she ever see the "depressioners" on his hand?

I think she just thought Dylan was her golden child and did not pay as much attention to him as she should have.

Yeah, poor Sue. She seems like she is a very sensitive and gentle woman. Dylan's reported demeanor is a stark contrast to the impression I get from Sue. Her and Tom seemed like such liberal, almost "hippie' type parents, yet several people in the 11k described Dylan as aggressive at school, said he was openly racist, was fascinated with guns and violence etc.

What shocks me the the most, though, is that Eric admitted he was having homicidal thoughts on his mental health self-evaluation form and the seriousness of that admission seems to have been overlooked. I wonder if it was addressed in particular with Eric, be it by his psychologist or his parents who surely would've seen the form? Or was the homicidal feelings admission simply just lumped in with all of the other thoughts/feelings Eric admitted to having on that form? Pretty crazy stuff.

I agree about Eric. That was one of the only times in his life Eric was open and basically begging for help but they don't see it. Instead they grip on to the statement that he made about "having too many inside jokes" and "thinking too much" and put him on a medication to stop his racing thoughts, but the medication can cause severe side effects especially to someone who may have been thinking suicidal or homicidal thoughts to begin with.

A truly devastating mistake when you see what Eric ended up doing.

mSinderstood wrote:

I really honestly and whole being that something happened to Eric harris in his personal life that has not come to light yet.  his parents know something or did something to him that pulled him in the direction he went. why have they been so quiet all these years what are they ashamed of besides their child being a murderer. what are they hiding it just does not feel or look right! things happen behind closed doors.

This is a pretty serious accusation. There is nothing that would indicate that there was something wrong in their home or something that was particularly being done to him. He actually stated in the BT that he had the best parents. I think he was closer to his mom and just complained about his dad's job that required them to move to different states throughout the years. I totally understand the Harris' and why they're so private. They must be extremely ashamed. Their son is portrayed not only as a mass murderer but as Dylan's evil friend who was a mastermind behind all this.

Vii wrote:

mSinderstood wrote:

I really honestly and whole being that something happened to Eric harris in his personal life that has not come to light yet.  his parents know something or did something to him that pulled him in the direction he went. why have they been so quiet all these years what are they ashamed of besides their child being a murderer. what are they hiding it just does not feel or look right! things happen behind closed doors.

This is a pretty serious accusation. There is nothing that would indicate that there was something wrong in their home or something that was particularly being done to him. He actually stated in the BT that he had the best parents. I think he was closer to his mom and just complained about his dad's job that required them to move to different states throughout the years. I totally understand the Harris' and why they're so private. They must be extremely ashamed. Their son is portrayed not only as a mass murderer but as Dylan's evil friend who was a mastermind behind all this.

I actually agree with mSinderstood, we can say Eric was a pure psychopath and would have been violent etc regardless, but if we look at his past before moving to Littleton, he seems like a happy boy…of course, people change and personality traits can come out over time…but I feel people are so quick to judge… what external factors made Eric the way he was?

If someone bad and secret happened to him before Columbine, perhaps the parents are keeping it secret out of respect for their son.

But I agree with Vii as well, it's harder for them to come forward due to the vastly different receptions Eric and Dylan have had!