Sue's reaction to her late son's fandom

We've talked a lot about how Eric and Dylan themselves have garnished all these followers, fangirls, and admirers on tumblr. I curious to know how Sue feels about it all, that is if she's aware of it. Would she find it amusing or be disgusted? For me I would be flattered but at the same time it would probably make her miss Dylan even more(as if she hasn't missed him enough already).

I would probably be ok with some of it. There are a lot of positive comments about him online. Sue loved her son and I am sure knowing that others think he isn't such a monster helps her.

I would be uncomfortable with the lovey and sexual comments about him. I think any parent would be. She knows he had no such attention in life. To have it in death is weird and off.

And I know it isn't mentioned in the OP but for all those negative nellys I am sure I would stay away from those places if I was her.

I am sure it must be horrible. And ambivalent.

Losing a child to suicide is bad enough. They say a lifetime is not long enough for a parent to really get over with it.
Losing a child to murder-suicide is even worse. I remember she stated she had very hard times trying to forgive his son. Therefore I think it must be horrible for her - there are many young people who actually idolize Dylan for what he had done!

Even more horrible that she surely had known about Dylan's difficulties with dating and finding a true love! Seeing that now that he is gone, there are so many girls who idealize him and have romantic fantasies - and write sexually overloaded fanfic's - about him - this is surely painful for his parents.

But knowing that there are many people who try to see Dylan for who he really was, many of us don't idealize him but don't take him for a monster either - this might help her a bit.

Anyway, what do you think about Mr. Klebold - if it's not off topic here? I remember him stating he had a very good relation to Dylan, they were rather friends than a strict parent-son relationship. I think his pain is equally deep if he happens to find Dylan-related material - or opinions, or fanfic - on the net.

I don't think she ever reads anything at all about him online.

I expect when you type his name into google the first thing that will pop up will be the photo of him with his brains splattered all over Eric's pants. Not something she'd want to look at.

I will get back to this question later.

I am not Sue, but what I can get from speculation is that she probably feels weird and pain.
Pain because only after his death and massacre that people recognise him, flog to him and wish they knew him and want to take care of him, not while he was alive. And probably weird because he is being seen like a superstar and he has fans, she probably thinks that the fans are how the new generation of kids are- disturbed and only capable of loving and admiring a dead teen murderer. The feelings must be a lot too handle that she probably wouldn't care about it too much. After all, her baby had killed others and then himself. That's a burden in itself.

I don't blame her for missing Dylan so much which she still does and probably will never stop. I'd to know what she thinks about the sympathizers. Particularly those who don't condone their violence but wished how things could have been different. And also those fanfic writers who create alternate timelines on what could have happened if this were to occur(I'm one of them).

aquillina wrote:

I don't blame her for missing Dylan so much which she still does and probably will never stop. I'd to know what she thinks about the sympathizers. Particularly those who don't condone their violence but wished how things could have been different. And also those fanfic writers who create alternate timelines on what could have happened if this were to occur(I'm one of them).

I am not sure if she reads fanfic. I think she is a bit older than that generation for the most part so I don't think that has any basis for her. I know there are people who feel Sue herself condones the crime because of how she speaks of Dylan and what happened. But I don't think she condones the crime and I don't think she like the people that condone it either. But I do think she likes the people that look at Dylan in a positive light. See him for who he was and not who he became.

I feel that it might be just a teensy bit hard for to like the support Dylan has because Dylan is only having it while he is dead, and after he killed people. It might be a constant reminder to her that her Son is dead. I feel like when people meet her during conferences and tells her they wish they knew Dylan when he was alive and would be there for him it makes her feel grateful and yet hurting cause every person is reminding her that he's not alive.

This quote from Far From the Tree is quite relevant:


"The Klebolds had letters from kids who idealized Dylan, and from girls who were in love with him. “He has his own groupies,” Tom said with an ironic half smile. They were heartened by unanticipated kindnesses."


I'm sure the all the "fans" and interested researchers has been a double edged sword for them. Dylan killed himself because he felt so alone and different from the world, yet there was so much normality in the kid that its easy to sympathize with him. Up until he pulled the trigger on 4/20 he was like millions of other depressed and confused teenagers. Had he just stuck it out a little longer he may have finally grew into himself and found his soulmate. Had he simply said "hey mom I'm really depressed" he could have gotten help. Dylan frustrates me so much more than Eric because of that. Eric was an angry attention seeker with a half hearted urge to die, whereas Dylan was just so far down the spiral of depression that he saw no other option than death. Well never know whether his issues were treatable or not. Knowing that combined with all the potential love the world had to give to Dylan probably hurt the Klebolds a lot.

Oh wow so Dylan's dad knows. He even called them groupies.

That's real funny and sweet at the same time. I think it's good that the Klebolds know that, or at least Tom does.

How would you as a father, feel about your homicidal and suicidal son having groupies after being discovered as a depressive school shooter. I mean like, pshhh woohoo my son is adored but if only he knew.

Well I mean beyond the fact that Dylan was a killer, somewhere deep beneath that black trench coat of his, he was just like any other boy. It's too easy to hate or turn a blind eye without caring. Having the courage to show kindness and compassion is true strength. That's something Eric and Dylan never received from anyone. Yet still I don't know if that alone would have been enough to save them. It's doubtful because no one has ever tried or tried hard enough.

I get what you mean babe, I'm just seeing it from Sue and Tom's point of view that the support is also hurting them cause nevertheless, their son is not alive.

As painful as it seems that's the truth. Could have, would have, should have yet ultimately never did.

Nirvana92 wrote:

This quote from Far From the Tree is quite relevant:


"The Klebolds had letters from kids who idealized Dylan, and from girls who were in love with him. “He has his own groupies,” Tom said with an ironic half smile. They were heartened by unanticipated kindnesses."


I'm sure the all the "fans" and interested researchers has been a double edged sword for them. Dylan killed himself because he felt so alone and different from the world, yet there was so much normality in the kid that its easy to sympathize with him. Up until he pulled the trigger on 4/20 he was like millions of other depressed and confused teenagers. Had he just stuck it out a little longer he may have finally grew into himself and found his soulmate. Had he simply said "hey mom I'm really depressed" he could have gotten help. Dylan frustrates me so much more than Eric because of that. Eric was an angry attention seeker with a half hearted urge to die, whereas Dylan was just so far down the spiral of depression that he saw no other option than death. Well never know whether his issues were treatable or not. Knowing that combined with all the potential love the world had to give to Dylan probably hurt the Klebolds a lot.

Thank you so much! This is what I was really interested in. Good to know that at least this gives them some kind of comfort and ease.

Yeah, Eric was practically a walking "cry for help", no matter how aggressively he communicated his despair.
Yeah, I am pretty sure that had Dylan confessed how badly depressed and suicidal he was, he would surely have gotten help - but, you see, it is always so difficult to be open about this. (Experienced it myself. I didn't want others to think I was just over-dramatizing certain things. I tried to convince myself that it was not so serious that it would worth mentioning - while I was practically in the 2. stage of Ringel's presuicidal syndrome and I did show 95% of the "typical warning signs"! Somehow I thought that confessing how crappy I felt would destroy the rest of my self-worth. And that no-one had anything to do with it. I wonder if Dylan felt something similar?)

Moonshadow wrote:

Nirvana92 wrote:

This quote from Far From the Tree is quite relevant:


"The Klebolds had letters from kids who idealized Dylan, and from girls who were in love with him. “He has his own groupies,” Tom said with an ironic half smile. They were heartened by unanticipated kindnesses."


I'm sure the all the "fans" and interested researchers has been a double edged sword for them. Dylan killed himself because he felt so alone and different from the world, yet there was so much normality in the kid that its easy to sympathize with him. Up until he pulled the trigger on 4/20 he was like millions of other depressed and confused teenagers. Had he just stuck it out a little longer he may have finally grew into himself and found his soulmate. Had he simply said "hey mom I'm really depressed" he could have gotten help. Dylan frustrates me so much more than Eric because of that. Eric was an angry attention seeker with a half hearted urge to die, whereas Dylan was just so far down the spiral of depression that he saw no other option than death. Well never know whether his issues were treatable or not. Knowing that combined with all the potential love the world had to give to Dylan probably hurt the Klebolds a lot.

Thank you so much! This is what I was really interested in. Good to know that at least this gives them some kind of comfort and ease.

Yeah, Eric was practically a walking "cry for help", no matter how aggressively he communicated his despair.
Yeah, I am pretty sure that had Dylan confessed how badly depressed and suicidal he was, he would surely have gotten help - but, you see, it is always so difficult to be open about this. (Experienced it myself. I didn't want others to think I was just over-dramatizing certain things. I tried to convince myself that it was not so serious that it would worth mentioning - while I was practically in the 2. stage of Ringel's presuicidal syndrome and I did show 95% of the "typical warning signs"! Somehow I thought that confessing how crappy I felt would destroy the rest of my self-worth. And that no-one had anything to do with it. I wonder if Dylan felt something similar?)

Oh I totally understand the stigma and fear of admitting depression as a teen. In my case I was the "outsider" at school who was picked on without mercy. Even now I have trouble discussing the treatment I received in highschool from my peers. Admitting to depression at the time felt like I was allowing the bullies to win. Also there was the fear of giving bullies more ammo to use against me. It wasnt until I left school and grew a little before I realized how stupid it all was. Had I just admitted my depression earlier then this could have changed and gotten better. That's really what Dylan needed to do. He could have gotten on medication, switched schools, joined an after school program, found a new hobby, etc.. Like most of us who were depressed/bullied he just needed someone who could explain to him that highschool doesn't last forever. A few simple changes and his entire life could have changed for the better. Unfortunately he was just too scared to speak up to the people in his life who could help.

ultraviolencelv wrote:

How would you as a father, feel about your homicidal and suicidal son having groupies after being discovered as a depressive school shooter. I mean like, pshhh woohoo my son is adored but if only he knew.

Yeah like I said that has to be really tough on them. Dylan wrote extensively about wanting to find a girl to love, and after he's dead floods of letters come in from females who find him attractive. Granted none of these girls would know who Dylan Klebold was without Columbine, but its the fact that there was so much potential for him to be love in this world that gets me. Honestly if I was his parents that would drive me crazy with grief more than anything.

aquillina wrote:

Would she find it amusing or be disgusted?

She would probably think to herself, after a deep sigh: "That's what I wrote my book for. Those people need to be helped"

Nirvana92 wrote:

Oh I totally understand the stigma and fear of admitting depression as a teen. In my case I was the "outsider" at school who was picked on without mercy. Even now I have trouble discussing the treatment I received in highschool from my peers. Admitting to depression at the time felt like I was allowing the bullies to win. Also there was the fear of giving bullies more ammo to use against me. It wasnt until I left school and grew a little before I realized how stupid it all was. Had I just admitted my depression earlier then this could have changed and gotten better. That's really what Dylan needed to do. He could have gotten on medication, switched schools, joined an after school program, found a new hobby, etc.. Like most of us who were depressed/bullied he just needed someone who could explain to him that highschool doesn't last forever. A few simple changes and his entire life could have changed for the better. Unfortunately he was just too scared to speak up to the people in his life who could help.

Me too. Still have recurring memories but discussing them? Hell no!
Oh yeah, same here. Showing any kind of despair would have just fueled their cruelty while I would have seen myself even more of a loser.
Yes, it needs a certain maturity to realize how stupid the whole situation is, and that solution might be easier than one might think.
I have always thought that Columbine High School was a very bad environment for Dylan. (And for many others, surely.) Thinking about this: the muscle-brained jocks were the top guys, physical strength and being "cool" was the measurement of success, I can imagine what he - and other unjock type youngsters - went through.

Yes, it is important to understand that high school does not last forever. For us who - ohhh how I hate speaking like this - lived long enough to get experiences, it is obvious. But, for a teen, high school means practically their entire lives. And, maybe many teenagers are convinced that the adult life is exactly the same? Don't know.