What a Columbine teacher told me

In 2010, I briefly corresponded with a woman who taught at Columbine for many years. She was there when the massacre happened.

She knew of Dylan, but she did not have any specific memories of Eric and Dylan.

She said that the bullying stories were vastly exaggerated. She said that the bullying was almost due entirely to "one athlete whose father hired expensive lawyers to get him out of trouble." When I said, "Rocky Hoffschneider," she didn't say "Yes," but she didn't correct me, either. (Another time, when I mentioned a specific name, she said, "No, that's not the person I'm talking about.") I went on a bit about Rocky, and she added, again without saying "Yes" or "No," "The administration did everything in its power to try to deal with this kid, but our hands were tied*." She had nothing but praise for "Mr. D."

*Someone who went to the school (but moved to another town before she graduated) during Eric and Dylan's junior year told me that Mr. D was always very warm and friendly toward Rocky and the other top jocks. He high-fived them in the hallways and acted like he was one of their best buds. But he ignored the other kids.

Also, one of the Columbine parents once said, "This school is not about the kids. This school is about a principal who is reliving his high school years knowing the cheerleaders and the football players."

(Mr. D, despite standing only 5'6" on a good day, was a star baseball player in high school. He was coaching the baseball team years before he became principal.)

This teacher did know both Rachel Scott and Daniel Mauser. She said that, before Rachel's funeral, she was freaking out, thinking that Rachel was trapped in the coffin and couldn't breathe. But she said that, when she saw Rachel's body at the funeral, and saw that she had a stern expression that she never had in life, she realized for the first time that she was truly dead and was not coming back.

She also knew Brooks Brown. She had him for a class and said that she was fond of him, but didn't tell me anything that I hadn't already read elsewhere. When I mentioned offhandedly that he had an Ayn Rand fixation, she did say, "He's not into Ayn Rand anymore. These days, he's as liberal as you can get."

(If you read No Easy Answers, you will see that he deeply admired Rand back in his high-school days and even in the years after his graduation. He even named his Web site Atlas Is Shrugging.)

She said that everyone who went to the school deeply resented the "We Are All Columbine" bumper stickers. She said that the folks who were there felt that only they knew what it was like, and they thought that others who said, "Oh, I understand what you went through" were full of shit.

She told me that she regarded "massacre tourists" as the lowest form of scum.

(I know a few folks who have gone to the school so they can stand at the spot where, say, Rachel Scott died and take a picture ... I don't think I could bring myself to do that, but I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't be damn tempted to have a look-see if I ever found myself in the Denver area. The one thing everyone always says about the school is, "It's a lot smaller than it looks on TV!")

She also told me that the kids who go there now don't even think about it, or talk about it. They don't care about it. (I have heard the same thing from others.)

Obviously, I didn't agree with her take on the bullying. She had been teaching there for many years, so obviously she knew more about the school than I did, but she also had a vested interest in trying to protect the school's reputation. (At the time, Mr. D was her boss.) She didn't want to say anything to me that could be used against her.

(If she had told me that the school was a bullying hellhole, and I had publicized that information, then it would have made big problems for her. But I do believe that she was telling the truth, as she believed it - she honestly didn't regard bullying as that big of a problem at the school.)

She abruptly cut off our correspondence in late March of that year. She said, "I'm sorry, but around this time of year, I start having panic attacks and I have to do whatever I can to keep from thinking about 4/20." I told her that I understood and wished her the best.

She didn't give me a whole lot of new information. But at least she was polite and let me ramble on in my e-mails.

Brooks is probably not the first young person to awkwardly mix liberal politics with Ayn Randroid-ism. Lots of young people probably feel that awkwardly hypocritical mix of "save the world" mixed with "I'm better than everybody, screw you zombies!!!" The idea that the world is full of pod people probably draws lots of young people towards Rand.

I don't know how big my school was compared to Columbine. 2000 kids in 1999 at that place, how many did mine have in 2001? I don't know.

I first encountered Ayn Rand in high school as well but only her name and the name of the book ''Atlas Shrugged''. Me and a very dear friend wanted to read it and even asked our Logic professor if he knew about her. I didn't read any of her stuff until college. There was a weekly seminar about her that I attended with several friends. We were tasked with a book assignment about her book ''The Virtue of Selfishness''. It's a fairly dull read but some of the essays were interesting. Me and one of my friends were under the impressions that Objectivism is like a cult with very rigid teachings that you must learn to interpret in her way or face ostracization, and I just didn't most of it to be appealing. I can see how it can appeal to some people though, especially young thinkers that aren't very popular but once you figure out that you're most likely a second handler as well if you don't surgically precisely follow these teachings, it's time to grow out of it. I recommend this comic if you are interested, I discovered it while attending the seminar in order to have a counterpoint: [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Paula Reed? I remember she made the same claim with Rachel and her casket.

Tuga wrote:

Speaking of dead bodies and Columbine, here are some quotes on the topic, some condensed mind you, those with three dots: '' I noticed Steven Curnow’s body nearby, underneath the computer terminal on the end. He looked at peace. Many things about my crawl, I couldn’t remember later. Steven’s peaceful look, I never will forget. '' - Patrick Ireland; '' It didn’t look like my brother, at least the John I knew. I remember thinking John would be so mad to have all of this make up on him! I realized how our bodies are just the shell. This wasn’t John, he wasn’t here. This was his shell, and his soul was with Jesus. I examined his face. There was a bullet hole close to his eye and my parents chose to have him wear a turtleneck (not something John would ever wear), to cover the damage the two killers had inflicted. ... I laid the letter I had written, with a rose, on his chest. The thorn from the rose poked his hand, and I remember not wanting to hurt him but then reminding myself, he wouldn’t feel it anyway.'' - Ashley Tomlin, John's sister; '' In the library, where 12 died, he found the body of Cassie Bernall, facedown on the floor. Her hair looked so clean and shiny. Then he saw Matt Kechter, his body intertwined with Isaiah Shoels' under a table near the windows. ... It's OK, Matt, he said softly. Everything's going to be OK. Your family will make it. They'll find a way to move on. Please don't worry about them. Everything's going to be all right. He hoped Matt could hear him.'' - Dave Thomas, Jefferson County District Attorney;  '' At the funeral home, I was relieved when I saw Daniel’s face. He was not disfigured; in fact it was difficult to see his injury. Still, it was difficult to look at him. For me it was not the case that Daniel “looked good.” He looked okay considering how much time elapsed before the mortician was given his body. But to me the body looked little like Daniel. The last time I saw him he was teeming with life, not unanimated, motionless and pale. This was a young man so full of life just a few days ago. I wanted that Daniel back.'' - Tom Mauser; "From the footage that I saw, I saw Rachel's body repeatedly shown over and over again. Kids were running past her. She was not covered. She had been moved by being dragged two to three times. It just broke my heart. I just wept all the way through it." - Beth Nimmo, Rachel's Mother; ''... the next day, his parents saw a giant photo of his body in the newspaper. It was the first real confirmation they'd had of his death; no one from the sheriffs office had notified them. In fact,  Danny's body wasn't moved from that sidewalk for well over a day. ... Rich Petrone had even offered to sign a waiver saying he didn't care if he got blown up, "but he wasn't going to let Danny's body stay on that sidewalk for another day. " - Daniel Rohrbough's parents and stepfather; '' Steve was next. He saw Rachel's body and collapsed on the floor in tears. Here was his former girlfriend, who still meant the world to him, and his body just failed him. Doug and I had to pick him back up and help him out of there. Of course, when I saw Steve lose it, I was right behind him. All the tears I hadn't cried up to that point came gushing out, just like everybody else, as I saw Rachel lying there in that coffin.'' - Brooks Brown.

Heartbreaking.

Here is another one: '' It was three days after Columbine when he saw Isaiah’s body at the mortuary. “I pulled the covers off of him,” Michael recalled. “I looked at his face. That’s all I was really concerned about was his facial area because I wanted to have an open casket funeral. And I just wanted to make sure his face wasn’t messed up. But after I found out that wasn’t messed up, we just lifted the cover off, you know of course, that was my baby. I had to hug him and I kissed him and his body was just frozen; cold. I thought I was doing pretty good till I walked off. When I walked off, I passed out. That’s all I remember—walkin’ off. '' - Michael Shoels. This one too '' A few minutes later Eric Harris came back around the table and shot beneath it again, hitting Lauren again but she didn't feel it -- she was already dead. '' - from  AColumbineSite.

It's so awful to read these stories. Especially the one about Steven. I read that he died in a seated position with his hands folded in his lap.

Selah wrote:

It's so awful to read these stories. Especially the one about Steven. I read that he died in a seated position with his hands folded in his lap.

It's also sad that he is also arguably the most obscure victim. I'd like to know about him. As brutal as these passages are, they are like a memento mori of sorts.

Tuga wrote:

Selah wrote:

It's so awful to read these stories. Especially the one about Steven. I read that he died in a seated position with his hands folded in his lap.

It's also sad that he is also arguably the most obscure victim. I'd like to know about him. As brutal as these passages are, they are like a memento mori of sorts.

Not trying to put too hard a point on it, but it seems like John Tomlin is the least discussed.

E & D could have easily made a movie taking out their anger, beat up a punching bag.. anything. Who knows why some people choose to commit a violent act and some don't. It's an important conversation to have.