Voices from Columbine: An anthology & Susan Dewitt's letter to Eric

Voices from Columbine: An anthology of artistic expression, is a 500-page collection of writing and artwork, representing the creative outpouring of students and staff of Columbine High School in the days immediately following the events of April 20th, 1999.

Does anyone here have a copy of this book? It has listings on Amazon and other bookstores, but is unavailable for purchase.
I find it very interesting to be able read the heartfelt letters and expressions from students who were affected deeply by the massacre.

It includes the letter Susan Dewitt wrote to Eric, which is heartbreaking to say the least.

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“Eric David Harris,

I didn’t know the person hiding under your smile. I didn’t know about the pain you carried in your heart. I didn’t know the torture you endured for so long. And I didn’t want to believe you were capable of such destruction. I didn’t know I could feel such pain for someone I really didn’t know. If I knew what your eyes hid, and what your mind was screaming, maybe I could have helped you. I could have loved you. All I know is the pain I am feeling inside. All I know is the person I talked to everyday, the person who seemed happy, the person who always helped me and made sure I had everything I needed. I see your picture on the pages, they say what a monster you are, they say how you were mean and cruel. But you see, I can’t believe what they say. I knew the smiling person, the person who helped me. I don’t want to hear it anymore. I want it to go away, the angry cries well up in me and I hate you for making me so scared and sad. Leaving me without any explanation. Leaving me with wandering thoughts and hollow cries. Did you try and reach me? Did you try to tell me? I will live with the memories and the unanswered questions I hold in my heart. Not a day will go by that I will not wonder why. As times goes by, I am getting stronger, but then the moment comes when I break down and cry. I am so sorry I didn’t see the rage you had inside. I am sorry I was so blind and couldn’t see all the things you tried to show me. No matter how wrong you were, I will love the person who smiled and said “Hi” to me everyday. I promise to never forget the person I knew, and forget the person they say you were.

Love Always and Forever,

Susan DeWitt”

Her letter is so raw and heartfelt. It's so sad that she felt so much guilt, when she was so young and there was nothing she could have done about it at that point. But, I am glad someone spoke up for Eric. His family certainly didn't.

mamaStardust wrote:

Her letter is so raw and heartfelt. It's so sad that she felt so much guilt, when she was so young and there was nothing she could have done about it at that point. But, I am glad someone spoke up for Eric. His family certainly didn't.

I've always found it ironic that Eric finally found a girl who seemed to accept him for who he was, yet too little too late.
I tend to wonder if they met a year prior if it would of been enough to thwart NBK.
Maybe having someone like Susan to confide in would of changed Eric's outlook on certain things, who knows.

I can't imagine how Susan must of felt after learning Eric's involvement in the shooting.
Even though there is no possible way she could of known, it still must hurt, and she no doubt has had feelings of guilt over the past 20 years.


It must of been mind-boggling watching movies with a seemingly nice kid, who let you warm your car up, and kissed you on the cheek, yet two days later perpetrated the worst school shooting at the time.
She'd be a person I'd love to speak with, as I'd love to pick her brain about what it was like hanging with Eric just a few days before the massacre.

slippy123 wrote:

mamaStardust wrote:

Her letter is so raw and heartfelt. It's so sad that she felt so much guilt, when she was so young and there was nothing she could have done about it at that point. But, I am glad someone spoke up for Eric. His family certainly didn't.

I've always found it ironic that Eric finally found a girl who seemed to accept him for who he was, yet too little too late.
I tend to wonder if they met a year prior if it would of been enough to thwart NBK.
Maybe having someone like Susan to confide in would of changed Eric's outlook on certain things, who knows.

I can't imagine how Susan must of felt after learning Eric's involvement in the shooting.
Even though there is no possible way she could of known, it still must hurt, and she no doubt has had feelings of guilt over the past 20 years.


It must of been mind-boggling watching movies with a seemingly nice kid, who let you warm your car up, and kissed you on the cheek, yet two days later perpetrated the worst school shooting at the time.
She'd be a person I'd love to speak with, as I'd love to pick her brain about what it was like hanging with Eric just a few days before the massacre.

I have had similar thoughts however it would have to be just the right time. I think by the end of 98/early 99 he had Dylan right in his ear. If Eric would have tried to back out I think Dylan would have been on him trying to get him back in. Susan's pull would have had to have been stronger than Dylan's. And before someone comes in saying that if Eric backed out Dylan would have backed out, I don't buy that

Lizpuff wrote:

slippy123 wrote:

mamaStardust wrote:

Her letter is so raw and heartfelt. It's so sad that she felt so much guilt, when she was so young and there was nothing she could have done about it at that point. But, I am glad someone spoke up for Eric. His family certainly didn't.

I've always found it ironic that Eric finally found a girl who seemed to accept him for who he was, yet too little too late.
I tend to wonder if they met a year prior if it would of been enough to thwart NBK.
Maybe having someone like Susan to confide in would of changed Eric's outlook on certain things, who knows.

I can't imagine how Susan must of felt after learning Eric's involvement in the shooting.
Even though there is no possible way she could of known, it still must hurt, and she no doubt has had feelings of guilt over the past 20 years.


It must of been mind-boggling watching movies with a seemingly nice kid, who let you warm your car up, and kissed you on the cheek, yet two days later perpetrated the worst school shooting at the time.
She'd be a person I'd love to speak with, as I'd love to pick her brain about what it was like hanging with Eric just a few days before the massacre.

I have had similar thoughts however it would have to be just the right time.  I think by the end of 98/early 99 he had Dylan right in his ear.  If Eric would have tried to back out I think Dylan would have been on him trying to get him back in.  Susan's pull would have had to have been stronger than Dylan's.  And before someone comes in saying that if Eric backed out Dylan would have backed out, I don't buy that

Yeah no doubt.
It would of had to be at least a year prior or even longer before that if there were any chance she could of changed his mind.
Knowing how bad Dylan wanted to die, he would of probably done everything in his power to make sure NBK still went down as planned.

If we are going with the scenario of them having met months or a year prior, I do believe the first flush of young love could have been more powerful than Dylan’s pull. This is assuming all was going well in the hypothetical love relationship. So many pleasant emotions, surges of dopamine, and hormones would be flooding through Eric’s body, he would definitely be distracted from NBK. Dylan would be pissed off though. Maybe he would think about killing Susan, like he did Devon at first.

mamaStardust wrote:

I am glad someone spoke up for Eric. His family certainly didn't.

Yeah, how dare a family choose to distance themselves from their son after he killed a baker's dozen of people and laughed in the faces of people he killed and brutalized.

I really have to wonder just why some people feel hostility towards the Harris family. It's very inexplicable to me.

QuestionMark wrote:

mamaStardust wrote:

I am glad someone spoke up for Eric. His family certainly didn't.

Yeah, how dare a family choose to distance themselves from their son after he killed a baker's dozen of people and laughed in the faces of people he killed and brutalized.

I really have to wonder just why some people feel hostility towards the Harris family. It's very inexplicable to me.

I never really understood that either.
It's easy to judge when you've never been through something like the Harris's have.
People get angry over the fact they never did any public interviews or wrote a tell all about Eric, but seem to forget they owe us nothing at the end of the day.
They were dragged through hell and back and if being quiet is the way they chose to grieve, then you really can't do much but respect it.

slippy123 wrote:

QuestionMark wrote:

mamaStardust wrote:

I am glad someone spoke up for Eric. His family certainly didn't.

Yeah, how dare a family choose to distance themselves from their son after he killed a baker's dozen of people and laughed in the faces of people he killed and brutalized.

I really have to wonder just why some people feel hostility towards the Harris family. It's very inexplicable to me.

I never really understood that either.
It's easy to judge when you've never been through something like the Harris's have.
People get angry over the fact they never did any public interviews or wrote a tell all about Eric, but seem to forget they owe us nothing at the end of the day.
They were dragged through hell and back and if being quiet is the way they chose to grieve, then you really can't do much but respect it.

You are 100% right Slippy! Although it would be interesting to read a book from the Harris family, they don't owe the public anything!