Why did Eric describe himself as being " Weird "

Eric has stated that people thought he was weird and avoided being around him.

1) Did Eric think of himself as being a " weird person ".
2) Why did people think of Eric in that way? 
3) Was it because he was a quiet person?
4) Was it because he wore a trench coat?
5) Was it because he had anger issues?

People mocked that he had a big head on a small body, and of course, he had an hollowed chest. He also listened to stuff like KMFDM and Rammstein which most ignorant people associate with Satan and Death, etc.

I find it interesting he thought of himself as weird, considering he built up this whole character (REB) displaying power, strength and no mercy.

My opinion was that Eric using being "weird" as a shield. He deflected his own self-hatred by being the "weird kid" that way when people let him down, it wouldn't be a surprise. I don't think anybody knew the "real" Eric except Eric himself and I think he really just did not like what he saw.

A little bit off topic but doesn't Eric look a lot different in his senior photos (looks more like a stud there) than he does in the footage of him in the Cafeteria. Maybe it's the hair but just his posture and overall body language seems very different.

Moseley wrote:

A little bit off topic but doesn't Eric look a lot different in his senior photos (looks more like a stud there) than he does in the footage of him in the Cafeteria. Maybe it's the hair but just his posture and overall body language seems very different.

The photography style and such of senior photos (at least here in the U.S.) almost always seems to flatter almost everyone. In my opinion, you can sense how tense he is in his senior photos. None of that was at all natural to or for him.

areyoulistening wrote:

My opinion was that Eric using being "weird" as a shield. He deflected his own self-hatred by being the "weird kid" that way when people let him down, it wouldn't be a surprise. I don't think anybody knew the "real" Eric except Eric himself and I think he really just did not like what he saw.

This makes a lot of sense. I absolutely feel that he hated himself more fervently than he hated everyone else.

However, I also call myself weird. I am, and I have no shame about it whatsoever (but I don't need to say it on a constant basis; I don't need to convince myself that I am unique, it is evident without the need for discussion). I was constantly called weird, too, and when I was Eric's age and younger, yes indeed, it reached a point where I would shout it out first before anyone else could use it as a slight toward me. But I still knew how eccentric I was, and had no personal issue with it deep within. It just becomes tedious and uncomfortable when it is perpetually used as an insult by a bunch of narrow minded drones on a daily basis. I think it hurt Eric at that time for those reasons, but sincerely, I do not think he hated that about himself. He hated that it was constantly viewed by those around him in that sanitized environment as a "bad" thing, and he gave up hope in finding a place where he could find other people who accepted and even liked and appreciated that part of him without hiding or being ashamed of the fact that they did.

Moseley wrote:

A little bit off topic but doesn't Eric look a lot different in his senior photos (looks more like a stud there) than he does in the footage of him in the Cafeteria. Maybe it's the hair but just his posture and overall body language seems very different.

tfsa47090 wrote:

The photography style and such of senior photos (at least here in the U.S.) almost always seems to flatter almost everyone. In my opinion, you can sense how tense he is in his senior photos. None of that was at all natural to or for him.

In the US, the usual expectation  - especially in color Senior photos - is that you look your conservative best so that 10, 20 years later you will look someone timeless. I recall my mom asking me to dye my hair back to a..a-hem..more 'subtle' color for my photos.  I had to wear pearls. GAG.  So, NOT me.  But these photos are all about how your parents would like to see you and how they wish others to envision you.  

When I look at Eric and Dylan in those photos, I can just imagine how the two of them absolutely hated this photoshoot - having to strike stilted, male model type poses the photographer likely suggested. So, mainstream conservative and so UN them.  I bet Eric probably shaved his head with the military buzz cut right after. in a rebellious F you  Dylan's hair looks perfectly coiffed.  I imagine that his mom asked him to go get his hair cut yet again (as per usual) and the photos were taken the day it was cut/styled by the hairstylist because you just never see casual Dylan with his hair all perfect like that.  Looks like it has product in it.   Also, the clothes Dylan is wearing is fancy for him.  I can just imagine that his mom probably loved that green/blue shirt on him because it went with his eyes and Dylan prolly inwardly thinking he looked like a fag.

Moseley wrote:

A little bit off topic but doesn't Eric look a lot different in his senior photos (looks more like a stud there) than he does in the footage of him in the Cafeteria. Maybe it's the hair but just his posture and overall body language seems very different.

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tfsa47090 wrote:

Moseley wrote:

A little bit off topic but doesn't Eric look a lot different in his senior photos (looks more like a stud there) than he does in the footage of him in the Cafeteria. Maybe it's the hair but just his posture and overall body language seems very different.

The photography style and such of senior photos (at least here in the U.S.) almost always seems to flatter almost everyone. In my opinion, you can sense how tense he is in his senior photos. None of that was at all natural to or for him.

areyoulistening wrote:

My opinion was that Eric using being "weird" as a shield. He deflected his own self-hatred by being the "weird kid" that way when people let him down, it wouldn't be a surprise. I don't think anybody knew the "real" Eric except Eric himself and I think he really just did not like what he saw.

This makes a lot of sense. I absolutely feel that he hated himself more fervently than he hated everyone else.

He doesn't look tense in his senior pics. I rather see a sneer on his face, meaning 'Haha, I was doing all this shit behind your back and you had no idea about that'.
And I don't think he hated himself so hardly. Why could he? Objectively, he was looking fine. He had a complex to the point of weight and height, but on the 'Eric inside Columbine' video he doesn't stand out so much in terms of a body size. On one of his profile, he wrote about himself 'skinny, but handsome', so he didn't feel as bad in his own skin. He wasn't the type of jock, that's all. If he felt ostracized because of his clothing style - why was he dressing like that? He hated people, because they weren't noticing values in him, which he perceived in himself. He thought he was original and special, but everyone else thought he was just weird. He hated himself only because people seemed to hate him.
Regarding to Eric's self-haitred, I wonder if he cut himself. There's in his autopsy reports something about cuts on his arm. And I also wonder, why, in one of his essays, he pointed as one of the things which made him different 'his scars'. Maybe I'm just over-interpretating this, or maybe it has some meaning, I dunno.

Moseley wrote:

A little bit off topic but doesn't Eric look a lot different in his senior photos (looks more like a stud there) than he does in the footage of him in the Cafeteria. Maybe it's the hair but just his posture and overall body language seems very different.

My mistake ,i thought you were talking about Eric in the cafe during the massacre.
As he is sat at a table and playing around with his phone ,i think Eric looks sedated.
He is kind of in a world of his own. Its quite amazing to see Eric's " normal " side. 
All that raw and destructive energy of his is completely hidden and practically invisible.
There is one hell of a potent evil that burns inside Eric and yet , he hides it tremendously.

The problem for me is that Eric' senior photo (along with Dylan's) were the first I saw of both of them, so they sort of cloud my judgment, without knowing the backstory for him, it would seem he looked sort of jockish (well I'm from the UK so maybe my perception is a bit off somewhat) in those photos.

Moseley wrote:

The problem for me is that Eric' senior photo (along with Dylan's) were the first I saw of both of them, so they sort of cloud my judgment, without knowing the backstory for him, it would seem he looked sort of jockish (well I'm from the UK so maybe my perception is a bit off somewhat) in those photos.

In the senior class photo where they are supposed to look "formal" Eric has the "Kubrick Stare" while Dylan looks like a demonic clown.

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It was actually this photo that drew me into Columbine because I thought: "nobody noticed how crazy they looked in this photo?"

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Dylan looks dazed, whilst Eric actually looks demonic/deranged. :O

They are at the farthest fringe of the school population, sitting together looking murderously demonic. They were hiding in plain sight.

The fact that no-one stopped them was their justification for having the "right" to kill all of us. At least I think that's what they felt.

I wonder, did people see these photos before the massacre? If so surely they'd pick upon how odd they look, Eric especially. This is the first time I'm seeing this picture and it's probably the only other time besides production videos in which they look angry, again especially Eric. Also lol @ Brooks who's sitting in front just sporting a casual look.

Moseley wrote:

I wonder, did people see these photos before the massacre? If so surely they'd pick upon how odd they look, Eric especially. This is the first time I'm seeing this picture and it's probably the only other time besides production videos in which they look angry, again especially Eric. Also lol @ Brooks who's sitting in front just sporting a casual look.

In the "informal photo" taken at the same time they mime "shooting" at the camera -- and Robyn, Brooks and Zach join in. That famous photo you always see.

Yep, I've seen that a couple of times, the good thing about this photo is that you can see their eyes clearly. Something you don't see much in massacre footage in the cafeteria. The eyes of an individual best describe a person's frame of mind, IMO.

Yes! and to me their eyes say --

Eric: remorseless and angry. Dylan: psychotic and vengeful.

rik75 wrote:

Moseley wrote:

A little bit off topic but doesn't Eric look a lot different in his senior photos (looks more like a stud there) than he does in the footage of him in the Cafeteria. Maybe it's the hair but just his posture and overall body language seems very different.

My mistake ,i thought you were talking about Eric in the cafe during the massacre.
As he is sat at a table and playing around with his phone ,i think Eric looks sedated.
He is kind of in a world of his own. Its quite amazing to see Eric's " normal " side. 
All that raw and destructive energy of his is completely hidden and practically invisible.
There is one hell of a potent evil that burns inside Eric and yet , he hides it tremendously.

The first time I saw the Eric in the Cafeteria footage, it really surprised me. I don't know why, but I didn't really expect him to come off as quiet and shy. Then again, maybe it's because Mike V. talks constantly. It was a challenge to reconcile quiet Eric who chases Brandi with the Reb who dreams of blowing up his entire school. Maybe that's just me.

gustopoet wrote:

Yes! and to me their eyes say --

Eric: remorseless and angry. Dylan: psychotic and vengeful.

Definitely the scariest of all their photos. I agree, Eric looks pissed and Dylan just looks like the crazy is coming out to play.

Wideawake wrote:

Dylan just looks like the crazy is coming out to play.

I like the way you phrased that.

Wideawake wrote:

The first time I saw the Eric in the Cafeteria footage, it really surprised me. I don't know why, but I didn't really expect him to come off as quiet and shy. Then again, maybe it's because Mike V. talks constantly. It was a challenge to reconcile quiet Eric who chases Brandi with the Reb who dreams of blowing up his entire school. Maybe that's just me.

The first time I saw the footage I thought it was a total vindication of the reality of a clique/bullying culture at Columbine even though the evidence is subtle. Eric's shyness and OCD-ness to me seem to spell out the whole back-story of his life at Columbine.  From him lowering his head at the sight of the "wall of jocks" to his being called the "little munchkin with the phone" to Mike V. saying "I like Eric..." as though he is the exception to the rule. Also, the whole "Eric just got jacked, etc..." thing and the way that the girls throughout the vid are obviously blowing them off even though they have a camera....  

It's good footage. If you look and listen closely, you can see exactly what built "Reb" just in this footage alone. There are two explicit references to bullying. There are also references to the school "pecking order" and it is clear that Eric is at the bottom of this hierarchy. There is also an example with Brandi's "spider story" of people just making up BS (or exaggerating) to sound cool that was part of the alienation that Eric felt -- ditto for the "I got a job offer" story.

Also helps to keep in mind that this was a representative example of an average day and just in the space of this footage, you see Eric get insulted, intimidated, and rejected, as well as being part of the self-proclaimed "rejects" of the school.

gustopoet wrote:

Wideawake wrote:

The first time I saw the Eric in the Cafeteria footage, it really surprised me. I don't know why, but I didn't really expect him to come off as quiet and shy. Then again, maybe it's because Mike V. talks constantly. It was a challenge to reconcile quiet Eric who chases Brandi with the Reb who dreams of blowing up his entire school. Maybe that's just me.

The first time I saw the footage I thought it was a total vindication of the reality of a clique/bullying culture at Columbine even though the evidence is subtle. Eric's shyness and OCD-ness to me seem to spell out the whole back-story of his life at Columbine.  From him lowering his head at the sight of the "wall of jocks" to his being called the "little munchkin with the phone" to Mike V. saying "I like Eric..." as though he is the exception to the rule. Also, the whole "Eric just got jacked, etc..." thing and the way that the girls throughout the vid are obviously blowing them off even though they have a camera....  

It's good footage. If you look and listen closely, you can see exactly what built "Reb" just in this footage alone. There are two explicit references to bullying. There are also references to the school "pecking order" and it is clear that Eric is at the bottom of this hierarchy. There is also an example with Brandi's "spider story" of people just making up BS (or exaggerating) to sound cool that was part of the alienation that Eric felt -- ditto for the "I got a job offer" story.

Also helps to keep in mind that this was a representative example of an average day and just in the space of this footage, you see Eric get insulted, intimidated, and rejected, as well as being part of the self-proclaimed "rejects" of the school.

You make some great points. I have seen people say that the "wall of jocks" was not a bullying move, but I disagree. There was plenty of room in the hallway, no need for either group to move. The only reason that I could see for the jocks walking through the group Eric was in was to assert their dominance/superiority.

Brandi's behavior toward Eric was rude, albeit typical teenage girl. One of the clearest, least subtle rejections possible outside of a downright "no".

This whole video makes me sad. I want to give Eric a hug and tell him it would have gotten better. I think that for such a short amount of film you can observe an awful lot of information, just like you said.