How did nobody notice Dylan's self-harm?

This is something I've always been curious about. In his diary he refers to cutting himself. Specifically in one entry he says he cut himself 11 times on his hand (http://www.acolumbinesite.com/dylan/writing/journal/journal4.php). That's a very visible location and a lot of cuts. And we can probably assume this wasn't the first or only time he did it. So I wonder, how did nobody ever notice?

Could've worn long sleaves. Plus both Dylan's parents were full time workers and it might have slipped their minds.

Interesting question. Maybe some did notice but it was failed to be commented/reported on. Or he could have passed it off as an injury from the shooting at Rampart Range. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] i.e The injury between Eric's forefinger and thumb. That would have been a poor excuse but Columbine High was likely not jumping to help student's mental health. Maybe they were light lacerations. He could have covered them with gloves.

Ivan wrote:

Could've worn long sleaves.

Uh...that wouldn't work if the cut is on your hand. Unless by "hand" he meant "arm".

badjunk wrote:

Interesting question. Maybe some did notice but it was failed to be commented/reported on. Or he could have passed it off as an injury from the shooting at Rampart Range. [img] i.e The injury between Eric's forefinger and thumb. That would have been a poor excuse but Columbine High was likely not jumping to help student's mental health. Maybe they were light lacerations. He could have covered them with gloves.

I do think it might've been light cuts too. Probably just scratched himself with a pencil or something, I did that a couple times to draw things on my hands.

badjunk wrote:

Interesting question. Maybe some did notice but it was failed to be commented/reported on. Or he could have passed it off as an injury from the shooting at Rampart Range.

The journal entry was on 4/15/97 though -- they weren't shooting back then.

Quote :

He could have covered them with gloves.

Does anyone know if Dylan wore fingerless gloves or anything like that? I don't recall seeing a photo in which he did, but it also seems plausible, as it would fit with the whole trenchcoat and combat boots thing.

downwardspiral wrote:

badjunk wrote:

Interesting question. Maybe some did notice but it was failed to be commented/reported on. Or he could have passed it off as an injury from the shooting at Rampart Range.

The journal entry was on 4/15/97 though -- they weren't shooting back then.

Quote :

He could have covered them with gloves.

Does anyone know if Dylan wore fingerless gloves or anything like that? I don't recall seeing a photo in which he did, but it also seems plausible, as it would fit with the whole trenchcoat and combat boots thing.

Good catch, Dylan did wear fingerless gloves, on the day of the shooting iirc and also during the before school video. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
Those could have just as well covered the self injury, but I don't know if he wore them before 1999 or 1998.

When I was 15, I cut myself really brutally. Once I even went up to 100 cuts on each arm.

It was spring and people were already a little suspicious about why I wear long sleeves all the time, but they never asked for details. So it doesn’t surprise me that no one realized Dylan was in a similar situation.

I remember one horrible moment during the exam when it turned out that I was hiding the answers to the questions under my long sleeves and I was terribly afraid that the professor would tell me to roll them up. Oh man, I sweat even now when I think of that horror and what it would be if they saw the condition of my forearms!

badjunk wrote:

Good catch, Dylan did wear fingerless gloves, on the day of the shooting iirc and also during the before school video. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
Those could have just as well covered the self injury, but I don't know if he wore them before 1999 or 1998.

Somehow I forgot about that. I think that probably explains it. There was no evidence of self harm in his autopsy report but for the shooting he probably wore them for other reasons (ie. handling guns, maybe for "fashion" reasons).

Onyx wrote:

When I was 15, I cut myself really brutally. Once I even went up to 100 cuts on each arm.

It was spring and people were already a little suspicious about why I wear long sleeves all the time, but they never asked for details. So it doesn’t surprise me that no one realized Dylan was in a similar situation.

I remember one horrible moment during the exam when it turned out that I was hiding the answers to the questions under my long sleeves and I was terribly afraid that the professor would tell me to roll them up. Oh man, I sweat even now when I think of that horror and what it would be if they saw the condition of my forearms!

That's awful I hope that you are doing better now.

Normally I wouldn't be surprised about people not noticing self-harm, especially back in the 90s. But I just wondered about it because of the fact that he said it was on his hands, which is a location that normally isn't covered.

QuestionMark wrote:

Ivan wrote:

Could've worn long sleaves.

Uh...that wouldn't work if the cut is on your hand. Unless by "hand" he meant "arm".

Guess you assume he self-harmed once. By the way, why would he talk about his cuts if they were only "light"?

He had a cat he could have said they were cat scratches.

I used to cut as a preteen. I'd use a razor blade and they always ended up looking like bad scratches unless I did it in a pattern Some were bad enough I still gave scars 15 years later but at the time they didn't look as bad as I felt they were.

A lot of the younger kids I work with, preteen to early teenage years, self harm and 95% of the time they get away with saying they were scratched by a pet, fell, hit a rock swimming/surfing/dirt biking/whatever outdoor activity is doable and popular where they live, etc. That's in line with broader national experiences social workers/counselors/teachers have. Even when you self harm for most young people there's still the instinct they're fighting of not wanting to hurt themselves badly.

In my personal experiences both as a preteen and now as an at risk youth counselor a lot if self harm is done by scratching with fingernails or a pencil, razor blades, smaller items. The handful of kids who cut themselves deep enough fly with lets say a knife, end up in the hospital often because cuts that deep require medical attention and aren't something that can be explained away. I, and many of the kids I work with, still felt/feel like they're doing something serious and get relief from the pain that is still felt without having to slice your arms open. Journaling about it is common even though from a physical doctors perspective the cuts are superficial. That doesn't matter, In many cases that's more attractive to young people who want to keep it secret from adults in their lives.

The issue is wanting to hurt yourself and going through with it, fighting the unconscious intuition to not want to hurt yourself. It's a quick release feeling that pain, which even "lught" cuts or scratches produce since the skin is filled with nerve endings, when you get too deep it stops hurting and it's not a release and often not what those who self harm are trying to achieve. People have the idea self harm is about slashing your arms deep enough you need stitches, but that is a totally different pathology more akin to those who attempt suicide. Self harm is about a way to release bottled up negative emotions, to make yourself feel physical pain to counter these emotions and it creates a release. Its most common in pretend and teens because of hormonal changes leading to heightened emotions, which is bad enough but made worse because of the inexperience caused by youth and facing these feelings for the first time as well as lacking the life experience that creates healthy coping mechanisms. Adults do it do but at a much much smaller rate.

I'm not trying to say its bit serious it is and points to other emotional and psychological issues that should be addressed, but it often isn't a super serious physical risk outside light scarring.

In other words, this is a long explanation for saying I would wager Dylan's self harm was similar to the majority of pre teens and teens and probably fine with sharp pencils, safety pins, fingernails, and while it's something that shows psychological help is needed, it wouldn't require physical medical care or be suspicious. Cat scratches seem to be the most common excuse I get from kids, and since he had a cat, maybe he used that as an excuse if his parents, teachers or friends noticed.

downwardspiral wrote:

Onyx wrote:

When I was 15, I cut myself really brutally. Once I even went up to 100 cuts on each arm.

It was spring and people were already a little suspicious about why I wear long sleeves all the time, but they never asked for details. So it doesn’t surprise me that no one realized Dylan was in a similar situation.

I remember one horrible moment during the exam when it turned out that I was hiding the answers to the questions under my long sleeves and I was terribly afraid that the professor would tell me to roll them up. Oh man, I sweat even now when I think of that horror and what it would be if they saw the condition of my forearms!

That's awful I hope that you are doing better now.

Normally I wouldn't be surprised about people not noticing self-harm, especially back in the 90s. But I just wondered about it because of the fact that he said it was on his hands, which is a location that normally isn't covered.

Thank you!
I'm definitely better now, but my arms are full of scars. 15 years old me was such an idiot!
I try to hide the scars as much as possible but it's quite obvious that I've been cutting myself, though I try to blame it on my dog when people start asking questions haha

I used to bang my arm against walls until I bruised, I could usually get around it by saying "I'm a klutz!" even though i wasn't, I was a ballerina for years... but people believed me. 

I used to scratch my wrists and then put it under hot water and I would say "i just REALLY dry skin!" 

I'm not sure if anyone believed me on that one.