Classmate said Eric suicidal because of bullying

sscc wrote:

Kiwik wrote:

One thing that still stands out to me was that stupid little BS online survey he did. Under the question what personality traits you admire in a significant other, he listed "compassion". The question isn't worded exactly like that, but I thought that was an interesting answer.

Do you have a link to this? I don't think I've ever seen it.

You can find it full size on the very last page of the Columbine docs but here it is

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ultraviolencelv wrote:

Kiwik wrote:

I think he did want help but didn't want to just come out and say it. I think he gave subtle hints but wanted someone to be able to read him and acknowledge that he was in pain without him having to give too many details. Its possible that he was desperate for someone to see through the tough guy front he put up and realize what was actually going on in his head. I don't think he wanted to say it out of fear of admitting to and exposing that he had a softer, emotional side. One thing that still stands out to me was that stupid little BS online survey he did. Under the question what personality traits you admire in a significant other, he listed "compassion".

Thank you for this. I agree he gave very telling yet subtle hints.

I wonder whether he let these things out to Dylan. I mean if there had to be a person, could it have been Dylan? I really always wonder whether they had these intense conversations since they have decided to die together anyway. Maybe he may have told him all these things he really felt about life and himself, Dylan shared aswell and they decided that the world was useless and to go out with a bang.
Hence I brought up above had someone asked him the right questions would it change his perspective a little.

I am not sure it was Dylan. I am not sure if Eric had a vent for these kinds of things at all. I think it is pretty telling that his crying tape has him alone. And the part where he is talking about missing his family he is again alone. I don't know that he wanted Dylan to see this side of him. Dylan probably knew it was there but I think Eric tried to keep it hidden. I think that is part of the reason he hated that side of himself so much. It was boiling inside of him and he had no outlet. He didn't go to his parents/brother with it and he didn't have a girlfriend or anyone close to vent to so he kept it inside. The hurt manifested as anger and came out in his journal and website. So I guess it did come out, but not in the original form. Of course this is all my opinion!

Lizpuff wrote:

sscc wrote:

Kiwik wrote:

One thing that still stands out to me was that stupid little BS online survey he did. Under the question what personality traits you admire in a significant other, he listed "compassion". The question isn't worded exactly like that, but I thought that was an interesting answer.

Do you have a link to this? I don't think I've ever seen it.

You can find it full size on the very last page of the Columbine docs but here it is

75 is the answer from above[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Thank you very much!

I remember wasting time with this kind of survey in elementary and middle school, back when there was no real social media and you would just go through it and then mass e-mail it to your friends and they would do the same.

sscc wrote:

Lizpuff wrote:

sscc wrote:

Kiwik wrote:

One thing that still stands out to me was that stupid little BS online survey he did. Under the question what personality traits you admire in a significant other, he listed "compassion". The question isn't worded exactly like that, but I thought that was an interesting answer.

Do you have a link to this? I don't think I've ever seen it.

You can find it full size on the very last page of the Columbine docs but here it is

75 is the answer from above[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Thank you very much!

I remember wasting time with this kind of survey in elementary and middle school, back when there was no real social media and you would just go through it and then mass e-mail it to your friends and they would do the same.

I also did a crapton of those! And some were chain so if you didn't email them out you would be murdered in your sleep by the kid who lived under your bed lol

Ha I got the compassion question Totally wrong!  Ah well.

And I used to do those surveys all the time too!

Lizpuff wrote:

sscc wrote:

Kiwik wrote:

One thing that still stands out to me was that stupid little BS online survey he did. Under the question what personality traits you admire in a significant other, he listed "compassion". The question isn't worded exactly like that, but I thought that was an interesting answer.

Do you have a link to this? I don't think I've ever seen it.

You can find it full size on the very last page of the Columbine docs but here it is

75 is the answer from above[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

It's strange how few people know about this doc! (I would think tumblr fangirls would plaster the website with reblogs of this, but I rarely see it floating around)

Also wow, that ice cream answer (# 65) is so weirdly endearing and super different in tone when compared to all his other answers

Kinda morbid how some of the answers end up being true in a dark humor kind of way, sort of like when he thought of himself being in hell, "former" columbine high school and wanting to be cremated. Also, Gosh I wish we knew who he thought was the hottest person hahah.
This survey reminds me why I like Eric.

I find this survey totally ridiculous but the answers he put really cracked me up. But hey that's Eric for ya. He did possess this dark twisted sense of humor.

The favorite candy question always cracked me up. And the fact that he actually answered the favorite flower question honestly, instead of saying something along the lines of "stomp it/burn it/shoot its petals off" haha

The compassion answer is very telling and honest, cause basically he wanted someone who was just like him. He could get very compassionate. I remember that story he did for class where when he was young and was out with a friend and the Friend got hurt and he cycled back out to get help despite having a broken leg or sth like that. Yes, Eric can get endearing, he's funny and when he likes you he'll try to put you first. Hence I always think that it's sad and a waste he couldn't get help and be saved.

That compassion answer really got to me too. It really makes you want to believe that Eric still had good inside of him and it's really sad that he never got a chance to prove it. Even so I like to believe both of Eric and Dylan could have been saved. Dylan though I think would have been more of a challenge.

Eric definitely had opportunities to change his thinking, he just didn't know how to take them. I think the right choice for him would have been to leave all his friends, including Dylan, leave CO, and head to somewhere where he can be completely new, away from all the people he hated. He was obviously quite mentally ill, and very insecure under the walls he put up. Clearly very few people could see that - only by reading little things like that do you realise that he was not the horrible person that the media portrayed him to be. He had the ability to be very compassionate, but in an effort to increase his confidence, he hid that. Sad to think of how much potential he had.