Would you have been friends with Eric and Dylan?

Would you have been friends and/or dated either one of these guys?

It's hard to say. If I knew E/D I would have liked to been their friend, possibly date them and try to help them like how Kristi Epling always listened to Eric's problems and how Sara Arbogast and Kim Carlin always invited Eric to go bowling with them. Plus if Eric asked me to prom I would have gladly gone with him. But I probably would have said and/or done something to piss Eric off and wind up on his shit list. Even if we weren't friends I would have been nice and friendly towards them.

It's hard to say.. are we looking at ourselves as we are now or as we were during our teenage years? I think that meeting them in my teenage years would've been nothing short of disastrous because I "hated the fucking world" (sound familiar?   ) and did anything and everything to get away from school. I don't know if I would've even stuck around in class long enough to meet the boys, really, but on the off-chance that I had.. yeah, I guess we'd get along tentatively based on a mutual dislike of that school and most of the peers alone. I wasn't really in the most solid state of mind myself (depression and an overpowering urge to seriously hurt some people, heh) so I think that actually becoming close friends with both of them would not have been beneficial for my health and sanity at the time. Still, the sense of humour would've undoubtedly clicked and the overlap in pop culture tastes would make for some very interesting movie nights at the very least. (Regarding stuff like prom.. I can just very clearly picture Eric and myself sitting on a park bench lamenting the stupidity of everyone around us on one of those nights. I can even picture Dylan getting roped into going anyway by some of his other friends and us basically going "dude, you're on your own", haha.)

Regarding myself as I am now.. I think it would be a far bumpier friendship, if anything. I'd be able to be a more constructive friend hauling their asses out of the self-pity parties a bit, but I'd also be the one calling them out on their shit and I don't think that would've been appreciated. I guess there'd be some good-natured fighting/bickering going on between Eric and myself most days that'd eventually spiral into a full-blown shouting match every so often. I'd try to coax Dylan out of his shell, too, and then probably put my foot in my mouth so bad in the process that he'd ignore me for weeks or something.  I don't think that I'd get along with them now half as well as I would've back when I was their age, haha, but it sure paints a more interesting picture. (I honestly think both of them would get on my last nerve during any dating situations, though, no matter how old I'd be and in what state of mind I'd be in.. I can see myself as the third friend facepalming my way through their attempts to score a date, though! I can just hear me now: "dude, you can't say that!", "oi, stalker boy, stop calling her", "would you just go and ask her already, jeez?", and the most-used "I fucking told you so, didn't I, but you never ever listen to me".   )

Probably, they were, overall, pretty similar to the good friends I had in high school actually and can think of my own friend analogues to both Eric and Dylan, but I don't think we would have been close friends. But definitely associates at the very least.

As a teenager I definitely would've been friends with them, but I would've distanced myself after they started making pipe-bombs and sawing off shotguns.

Likely not. I imagine our differences would keep us apart.

I'd like to think yes, since we have somewhat similar music/movie interests. I'd always be game to talk about how much the school sucks, too.

the funny thing to me is, that probably 90% of the people at their school, being all grown up and not knowing Eric and Dylan ( lets say it was another school where it happened) would say the same: yes i would have tried to be friends with them, try to make them smile, listen to them, tried to make them see things differently....but no one did, because when you are an actual teenager, things don't quite work that way, you live different lives and you don't know theirs, you think differently now, but how many kids at my school were actually loners and got teased every now and then, did i make it my day job to safe all these kids? hell no! i had enough problems on my own, i blended in and i wanted to keep it that way, was i mean/nasty to them? no never, i talked to them every now and then, but i'm not gonna fool myself by thinking Eric and Dylan would have been any different, they were strangers, that i knew nothing about, and thats just reality

mamajuju wrote:

the funny thing to me is, that probably 90% of the people at their school, being all grown up and not knowing Eric and Dylan ( lets say it was another school where it happened) would say the same: yes i would have tried to be friends with them, try to make them smile, listen to them, tried to make them see things differently....but no one did, because when you are an actual teenager, things don't quite work that way, you live different lives and you don't know theirs, you think differently now, but how many kids at my school were actually loners and got teased every now and then, did i make it my day job to safe all these kids? hell no! i had enough problems on my own, i blended in and i wanted to keep it that way, was i mean/nasty to them? no never, i talked to them every now and then, but i'm not gonna fool myself by thinking Eric and Dylan would have been any different, they were strangers, that i knew nothing about, and thats just reality

I agree!

Well, it'd be a little weird if they were complete strangers and I just walked up to them being like "haha lets be friends". I'd probably be friends with them if we were in the same classes/clubs/whatever.

Another time and another place... I'm sure I would have been friends with them... If Columbine was as bad as my High School I may have even been alongside them on that day (of course now I look back at HS like really... That's dumb). I even try telling my kids don't worry about any of the asshole kids they encounter once you are out of HS you will never see any of them again... Even your "best friends" you will not talk with anymore. Of al my HS friends I talk to 2 on a regular basis.

Well I dont really know but maybe I would just be a bit because I was very similar to them in high school, I was an outcast too since kindertgarden so I would be in their friends group or I would be a mutual friend of one of their friends, getting to know them and be around them sometimes. I wouldnt be a close friend because I am too shy with guys and usually they ignore me so it would be difficult but definitely I would be around them most of the times or I would be one of those girls that just say hello to them and talk to them for a while but thats it

I would like to think that I would have been friends with them in highschool since I so much resonate with them today, but when thinking back to my personality in highschool, I don't think I would spark much commonalities other than my cynical worldview. (and usually that isn't the first thing you talk about with strangers), so I guess not. I probably would have had a crush on one of them but be too shy to say antying.

Yes. As a teenager, I would have been drawn more to Eric because I was very naive and would have believed any crap he threw my way. He definately wouldn't have had to ask me out twice.  ;) 

As an older teen/young adult, I would have been more attracted to Dylan because of his sensitivity and brooding nature. I dig that now as an adult. My friends both in high school and college were very similar to Eric and Dylan.

Most likely would have been in the same circle of friends as Dylan (and so, by extension, as Eric) as far as drama and theater go and because I also would have been/was rather on the periphery of social circles in high school. We probably would have been classmates if I had studied the same year because I would have picked most of their classes (but not bowling!).

Their racist, Nazi screeds and talk of explosions and guns would have annoyed the hell out of me, though. However, we might have connected if a discussion on murderers, WWII or philosophy had come up.

I don´t know because I was a punk girl. Don´t think they would like me. But I would not be someone who teased them or something like that. Maybe I would say "hi" and if I would classes with them, I would work with them.

I have no real, solid idea whether or not I would have been their friend or if I would have wanted to date them. It definitely seems like there are things that would have bonded us; general emotional/mental and behavioral characteristics and mannerisms, common but important interests and worldviews...and there are quite a few of these, but you cannot know unless you are actually there with the person or people. I could have loved one or both of them as friends or more, and they could have hated me, or very honestly, one or both could have loved me in either of those ways and I could have hated them. I have no idea. No one does.

gustopoet wrote:

As a teenager I definitely would've been friends with them, but I would've distanced myself after they started making pipe-bombs and sawing off shotguns.

Exactly the same as you.

I wouldn't have liked it that either.

Even thouh I'm kinda like Dylan, I probably wouldn't be friends with them because I'm not the type of person to have friends.

I couldn't really see myself being friends with Eric at all. Maybe Dylan though because he was involved in backstage production of school plays and other events. This is exactly what I did in high school as part of the drama club and thespian society.

It is hard to say. Maybe. I was an outcast my entire life too. So it could be possible that we would have been friends. But I don't think I we would be close friends. I am very shy too, so I wouldn't have talked much with them. (I don't talk much with most people in real life. ) And I am a more peaceful person most of the time, so I would be scared to know they use and play with guns in their free time. That's why I don't think we would be that close friends. But maybe I would know them about other friends from school.And I am sure I would at least accept them and their behavior, because I am not a person who bully other people or people who are different. I don't care what the mainstream thinks about a person, I like to have my own opinion about people.

I doubt that I would survive in such a school. I barely got out of a high school that was full of artsy people. I was definitely weird and a total outcast in my school. I can not imagine the even worse nightmare that CHS would have been for someone like me. I did take part of tech, backstage stuff for theater productions and enjoyed the same music/movies as they did but I was not into gaming and was part of peer run non-violence mediation group. They would have really disliked me, as I was fat/ugly/disabled etc. However, I do very much relate to Dylan and I would have loved to just chill out and talk.

Yes, I've been an outcast pretty much 90% of my life, I am into industrial/alternative rock, adore horror and comedy horrors so i would've befriended Eric for sure. By my standards from when i was a teenager and now i'd rate him a 9/10. Of course if Dylan would be in the picture I wouldn't mind, but I'd never get attached to him emotionally. Most likely would've dated Eric. Hot damn did I play Doom and Duke Nukem back in the day.

It's quite off topic but there's a question that haunts me constantly. I hope someone sees it sometime and gives me their opinion :

Why THE HELL didn't Dylan go for Robyn? Literally cute blonde who liked him. My god , if I had a cute guy liking me I'd jump in his lap like no tomorrow.

What the hell?!

Either....

1. He really was gay.
2. He was waiting for his true love.
3. He didn't want to hurt her knowing he was going away soon.
4. He just didn't find her attractive.
5. He was just too damn shy to do anything about it.

I think I was mainly option 5 myself.

Magnaphoria wrote:

Yes, I've been an outcast pretty much 90% of my life, I am into industrial/alternative rock, adore horror and comedy horrors so i would've befriended Eric for sure. By my standards from when i was a teenager and now i'd rate him a 9/10. Of course if Dylan would be in the picture I wouldn't mind, but I'd never get attached to him emotionally. Most likely would've dated Eric. Hot damn did I play Doom and Duke Nukem back in the day.

It's quite off topic but there's a question that haunts me constantly. I hope someone sees it sometime and gives me their opinion :

Why THE HELL didn't Dylan go for Robyn? Literally cute blonde who liked him. My god , if I had a cute guy liking me I'd jump in his lap like no tomorrow.

What the hell?!

Personally, I think he just wasn't into her as anything more than a friend. I don't think he was attracted to her as he wrote in his journal about these other girls he was attracted to and wanted to be with. I think she kept pursuing him though and he just gave in and went to the prom with her.

I don't think Robyn interested Dylan at all. It seems to me that he had this ideal of a girl that he worshiped and his preference was to obsess over someone who didn't truly exist rather than attempt a real relationship with someone who was flawed (as all people are). The girl(s) that he "loved" weren't real people to him. They were images that he put on a pedestal and built a fantasy personality for. In my opinion, even if he had managed to begin a relationship with his love, he would have been seriously disappointed to find that she did not perfectly follow the script he had created in his head.

highly doubt it, I wouldn't be mean to them though, but not going to lie, from what I hear I as well would have considered them weird.

I actually was in the "outcast" group when I was in high school. In fact, one of the only 2 friends I still talk to from high school (class of 2011) is a guy from the group. So I probably would have been friends with them plus would have had a crush on Dylan and actually said something to him about it - I have always been bold with guys; the worst that can happen is the person will say no and you're back where you were.

Wideawake wrote:

I don't think Robyn interested Dylan at all. It seems to me that he had this ideal of a girl that he worshiped and his preference was to obsess over someone who didn't truly exist rather than attempt a real relationship with someone who was flawed (as all people are). The girl(s) that he "loved" weren't real people to him. They were images that he put on a pedestal and built a fantasy personality for. In my opinion, even if he had managed to begin a relationship with his love, he would have been seriously disappointed to find that she did not perfectly follow the script he had created in his head.

I hate to look stupid, I read his journal a few times and that never really came to me. Sure , he did say "just a shell of what I want the most" but it's not like we haven't been dissapointed in someone when we got to get close to them and find out much more about their personality. Plus the "good body,almost perfect face, NOT popular" part doesn't sound like an impossible thing to achieve nor unreasonable to ask.

Mine expanding on the underlined parts?

I know afew people that are very similar to both of them, So maybe yes, In relation to someone like Eric and Dylan I probably would of known them similar to John Savage, Friends but not that good of friends. To be honest there are many people I could compare to E&D at my school. Its a shame because some of them have now got them selves in similar situation with the law.

It seems easy to think, "If I knew what was going on I would have been their friend". But for me, if we were classmates, nope. Connecting with people in school was always a challenge for me. I would have no way of knowing what they were planning.

If we were pen pals, I might get along pretty well with Dylan. At his age, we might have talked about how high school sucks and stuff like that. If he told me about his plans, I probably wouldn't take it seriously and if I did, I would try to talk him out of it. Eric probably wouldn't like me online or in person.

Magnaphoria wrote:

Wideawake wrote:

I don't think Robyn interested Dylan at all. It seems to me that he had this ideal of a girl that he worshiped and his preference was to obsess over someone who didn't truly exist rather than attempt a real relationship with someone who was flawed (as all people are). The girl(s) that he "loved" weren't real people to him. They were images that he put on a pedestal and built a fantasy personality for. In my opinion, even if he had managed to begin a relationship with his love, he would have been seriously disappointed to find that she did not perfectly follow the script he had created in his head.

I hate to look stupid, I read his journal a few times and that never really came to me. Sure , he did say "just a shell of what I want the most" but it's not like we haven't been dissapointed in someone when we got to get close to them and find out much more about their personality. Plus the "good body,almost perfect face, NOT popular" part doesn't sound like an impossible thing to achieve nor unreasonable to ask.

Mine expanding on the underlined parts?

Magnaphoria, I don't suppose that I have any definitive proof of this. However, there are a number of things that brought me to this conclusion. For one thing, he frequently refers to this person as simply "her" or "my love". Part of this could certainly be his fear of people reading his journal and/or prep for it being found after NBK, but he could have used a nickname.

Really the main factor that led to my idea was the way that he considers this girl(s) as soulmates without even knowing them, and believing they don't know him. Not the fact that he does so by itself but that he does so continually and over a long period of time.

And I may be incorrect on this part - I haven't read the journal in awhile - but I believe he makes several comments about his love's purity. He never really defines purity, but how do you know if someone is pure when you don't even know them? This is another ideal of his love.

Honestly I can't tell you what exactly I was thinking when I made this post several months ago, but this is likely a reasonable approximation of what I had in mind. I hope!

i was that weird loner autistic kid. i could never find friends that shared my desire to kill everyone at school, and eric & dylan never really told anyone about their plans... as much as i'd love to be friends with them it wouldn't have been realistic because i didn't know how to make friends or talk to people at the time
i didn't really learn social skills until about 2 years ago. i suppose if i met them in my less autistic state i could a been good friends with them. but its not like i'd prevent columbine from happening... if anything i'd make it worse.
or from eric & dylan's perspective, better.

Wideawake wrote:

I don't think Robyn interested Dylan at all. It seems to me that he had this ideal of a girl that he worshiped and his preference was to obsess over someone who didn't truly exist rather than attempt a real relationship with someone who was flawed (as all people are). The girl(s) that he "loved" weren't real people to him. They were images that he put on a pedestal and built a fantasy personality for. In my opinion, even if he had managed to begin a relationship with his love, he would have been seriously disappointed to find that she did not perfectly follow the script he had created in his head.

Brilliant [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] I couldn't have put it better myself. Dylan in particular seemed very unsatisfied with the world. Perhaps thats why he was so eager to die. He didn't attempt to find happiness because he knew deep down he would never find it here

Would I have been friends with Eric and Dylan?
Hm, thinking back on myself in high school I was definitely a stereotypical outcast. I hung out with a group of outcasts that all wore black head to toe and were very similar to the TCM. If they had gone to my school, I would have definitely been their friends. My school was very small, so I tended to cling to my weirdo friends. If I had gone CHS with them, I'm don't know if I would have noticed them or if they would have noticed me. I'm positive I would have had a crush on Dylan because he looks very similar to my other high school crushes. But I doubt I would be his type and even if I was I would have never had the balls to tell him I liked him, so we would probably just be friends. As far as Eric goes, I'm unsure. He had a strong personality and would have probably thought I was weird as fuck.

Dunno.

Theorethiclaly i we wer ethe same age, it might have been possible. I ould have had similar music tastes to Eric. They see to ahve taken classes that I might have chosen had i be a student of that HS.

but than again, this is just talking about interests and tastes. If I would have meshed with their prsonalities is a diferent question and the answer might likely be "no".

To be honest, I would have probably been friends with Dylan because he's just like me Shy yet a Very Bright person who has a lot of potential. And the fact that he's into computers like me is both something we have in common. Now Eric I probably wouldn't have been friends with because I probably wouldn't hang out with someone who has the personality that he does but I wouldn't have been enemies with it and would have thought of him as my acquaintance (Someone that I would have just fist bumped in the hallways occasionally).

No, I didn't correspond with that crowd too often @ my HS. I can guarantee you that I wouldn't have had issues with them tho. Case in point, as a baseball player I spent hours helping groom our infield. An identical group of kids would hang out near our field & drink & smoke/blare music while we practiced.

It escalated with our coach starting a personal war with them.. leading to showing up one day to a burned up/gasoline soaked infield. I thought it was hilarious & gave the group & smile & nod the next time I saw them.

I've always felt I'd be friends with Dylan and Rachel Scott. It's a completely irrational thought but I've felt that way for a long time

I've been involved in theatre and dance for a long time and I'm HS if I went to CHS I'd be involved in choir and theatre. I'd know Brooks probably and Dylan. I go back and forth on Eric. He'd either be my friend or hate me. I was always too afraid to talk to anyone so I'm not sure how I'd be. I know I'd be kind. However i had a temper so if he yelled at me I'd probably kick him in the balls...

Honestly if they were nice to me back then I'd cling on... anyone who was kind I'd be friends with

According to Sue's book Dylan was an adventurous eater and I'd find that refreshing

I'm new here so apologies for the post, I'm answering questions from years ago.

I would be a very close friend with them. I would also be in touch with Chris Morris and Nate Dykeman, they seemed to be guys I am friends with already. Adding the fact that we all share the same age (17-18), same music taste, have a huge interest in firearms and fireworks, video games and computers, experienced bullying and ostracizing, dressing weird, they would clearly hang out with me often.

I can imagine the topics I would discuss with Eric: Doom, hacking, girls, school, life in general.
And with Dylan: Music, computers, ranting, joking.

of course, during the 90's I was obsessed with Doom and making levels for it to the point where my nickname was 'Doom Boy'. When I was 18 I was as thin as Eric and wasn't some big tough guy. A lot of people read Eric's journal and think his writings reflected his personality, which is not true, you can see him the cafeteria video with his friends how goofy he was. The guy gets entertainment from spinning a phone around on a table.

They seem to think Eric would judge them and not be their friend because he would have considered them unworthy, but the fact is, Eric was friends with Mike Vendagina and Erik Veik among other people, and have you seen those people? have you seen how lame and goofy Mike is? He was a short fat guy with a Woody the Woodpcker Chilly Willy shirt on, if Eric could tolerate that, then he could tolerate us. His writings didn't reflect him at all, you can see him laughing at what Mike is saying and even Brandi's story about having 20 kids with Ben Affleck and her friend having roach eggs in her mouth.

spidEr wrote:

They seem to think Eric would judge them and not be their friend because he would have considered them unworthy, but the fact is, Eric was friends with Mike Vendagina and Erik Veik among other people, and have you seen those people? have you seen how lame and goofy Mike is? He was a short fat guy with a Woody the Woodpcker Chilly Willy shirt on, if Eric could tolerate that, then he could tolerate us. His writings didn't reflect him at all, you can see him laughing at what Mike is saying and even Brandi's story about having 20 kids with Ben Affleck and her friend having roach eggs in her mouth.

Eric in columbine video is by far the most accurate representation of Eric. Criminologist "experts" like Dave Cullen portray him as if he was a comic book villain, when in fact he was an average quiet boy. In the video, you can see Eric meowing at people, nervously looking around on the cafeteria table, making funny faces and just being the complete opposite of the idealized "REB" in his journals. If you read the AOL chat he had with an unnamed girl, you can see how polite and emotional he was, or that tape he filmed in his car, crying and talking about his childhood.

Exactly, only us researchers know the real Eric, and how pathetic he was (not in a bad way), and how much he was just like us at that age, just a young man. He wrote that journal for the world, he wanted the world to think of him as this badass, fearless REB character, and they still do to this day. They are giving him what he wanted, we are not, by seeing him as he really was.

When Eric is sitting with his friends at that table, even though the camera is focused on him, he barely talks and is not the center of attention. He only adds small comments here and there, and at no point do they sit around and listen to him talk, not even does Brandi. He listens to her and adds short comments.

spidEr wrote:

Exactly, only us researchers know the real Eric, and how pathetic he was (not in a bad way), and how much he was just like us at that age, just a young man. He wrote that journal for the world, he wanted the world to think of him as this badass, fearless REB character, and they still do to this day. They are giving him what he wanted, we are not, by seeing him as he really was.

When Eric is sitting with his friends at that table, even though the camera is focused on him, he barely talks and is not the center of attention. He only adds small comments here and there, and at no point do they sit around and listen to him talk, not even does Brandi. He listens to her and adds short comments.

Yep, he is exactly like myself and other teenage boys. People get freaked out when I say I relate to him, they think he was a charming psychopath with 3 girlfriends and a possession of powers of hypnosis, which is a huge load of hooey. He was a complete opposite of a textbook definition of a psychopath, he was probably more emotional and fragile than Dylan, considering he had friends while Eric only had him, and a few acquaintances like Mike and Veik.

spidEr wrote:

Exactly, only us researchers know the real Eric, and how pathetic he was (not in a bad way), and how much he was just like us at that age, just a young man. He wrote that journal for the world, he wanted the world to think of him as this badass, fearless REB character, and they still do to this day. They are giving him what he wanted, we are not, by seeing him as he really was.

When Eric is sitting with his friends at that table, even though the camera is focused on him, he barely talks and is not the center of attention. He only adds small comments here and there, and at no point do they sit around and listen to him talk, not even does Brandi. He listens to her and adds short comments.

I agree with you all 100%! Not everyone can see the real Eric. Or want to see ... Not as a hero (as seen by his crazy fans), not as a psychopath, but as an unhappy teenager who has not found his place in society (among his peers) and suffering from it. Eric was full of anger and frustration (because he didn't want to accept the role of an outcast), he came up with an alter ego (the image of a rebel) to compensate for his weakness.

.

eh I hung around some theater kids so maybe I'd have known Dylan.

I was manipulative, a bit unhinged, and I liked black, alcohol, weed, smoking, industrial; and grunge in high school. So probably. I was a pretty angry kid. I am nowhere near as severe as I was thank God.

I would have liked to be friends with Eric, he seemed like an interesting guy to talk to beyond everything ...