Nineteen years of Columbine

Screamingophelia wrote:

We’ve never figured out why Eric couldn’t buy the ammo did we?

Thats always been weird to me.

Only thing i can come up with is he didn't want to be seen buying ammo for whatever reason.

Currently 4/20 over here. Though Columbine technically started at 5:17am on the 21st on my timezone.

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I’m going to the memorial tomorrow to pay my respects

Screamingophelia wrote:

I’m going to the memorial tomorrow to pay my respects

Good luck, can't imagine what the feeling must be like at the memorial come 4/20 each year. Eerie and surreal i reckon

if you're leaving flowers leave one for me

23september wrote:

Screamingophelia wrote:

I’m going to the memorial tomorrow to pay my respects

Good luck, can't imagine what the feeling must be like at the memorial come 4/20 each year. Eerie and surreal i reckon

if you're leaving flowers leave one for me

I absolutely will.

LPorter101 wrote:

And I wonder how much they regret what they did.

Oh they definitely have some regrets (if they're still around to have them anyway). I doubt they would've gone through with the plan had they known that the bombs would've failed.

LPorter101 wrote:

You know, as I get older, I come to realize just how little I knew about anything - myself or the world around me - when I was 17. The basic elements of who I am now were already there, but they were like the steel frame of a concrete building. So much had yet to be filled in. My mind, my body, and even my soul were still very much under construction.

At 32, I wouldn't say that my life is totally filled in, but my understanding of everything has grown to a degree that I could not have imagined half a lifetime ago.

By committing mass murder, Eric and Dylan relinquished any claim to our sympathy. They do not deserve anything from us. But I do mourn for them - not for the boys who killed, but for the boys who might have found some reason to live and let live. I firmly believe that both boys could have been saved, at least earlier on. (Maybe they were too far gone by 4/20; maybe they weren't.)

Every year, when I mark the anniversary, I reflect on how much my own life has changed over the last year. And then I think about how all the lives that ended on that day might have changed.

The thing about life is that you never know where you are going to end up, certainly not when you are a senior in high school. We oscillate between hope and fear, between joy and sorrow, between ecstasy and agony. Hopefully, we reach a stable equilibrium somewhere along the way. There are always twists and turns, triumphs and tragedies, victories and defeats. But the journey never ends until we die.

After death, do we travel to that faraway land beyond the cosmic sea - the undiscovered country of death? I guess we'll all find out, sooner or later.

If any part of Eric and Dylan is still around, somewhere, in heaven or in hell, or simply floating around as some kind of restless spirit, I wonder whether they're aware of how much they missed. And I wonder how much they regret what they did.

If aware and truly self conscience, I couldn't imagine anything less than total remorse. We are all flawed, influenced if not leveraged by fiction and overall a shell of our future selves at 17/18 years old. What could have been for so many and most importantly what could have changed had E/D let time resolve their issues.

What I'd give to go back n time and have the opportunity to reach out. Two goals for me tmrw... visit the memorial and as many acts of unsolicited kindness that I can pass along all day.

Fatheroftwo wrote:

LPorter101 wrote:

You know, as I get older, I come to realize just how little I knew about anything - myself or the world around me - when I was 17. The basic elements of who I am now were already there, but they were like the steel frame of a concrete building. So much had yet to be filled in. My mind, my body, and even my soul were still very much under construction.

At 32, I wouldn't say that my life is totally filled in, but my understanding of everything has grown to a degree that I could not have imagined half a lifetime ago.

By committing mass murder, Eric and Dylan relinquished any claim to our sympathy. They do not deserve anything from us. But I do mourn for them - not for the boys who killed, but for the boys who might have found some reason to live and let live. I firmly believe that both boys could have been saved, at least earlier on. (Maybe they were too far gone by 4/20; maybe they weren't.)

Every year, when I mark the anniversary, I reflect on how much my own life has changed over the last year. And then I think about how all the lives that ended on that day might have changed.

The thing about life is that you never know where you are going to end up, certainly not when you are a senior in high school. We oscillate between hope and fear, between joy and sorrow, between ecstasy and agony. Hopefully, we reach a stable equilibrium somewhere along the way. There are always twists and turns, triumphs and tragedies, victories and defeats. But the journey never ends until we die.

After death, do we travel to that faraway land beyond the cosmic sea - the undiscovered country of death? I guess we'll all find out, sooner or later.

If any part of Eric and Dylan is still around, somewhere, in heaven or in hell, or simply floating around as some kind of restless spirit, I wonder whether they're aware of how much they missed. And I wonder how much they regret what they did.

If aware and truly self conscience, I couldn't imagine anything less than total remorse.  We are all flawed, influenced if not leveraged by fiction and overall a shell of our future selves at 17/18 years old.   What could have been for so many and most importantly what could have changed had E/D let time resolve their issues.

What I'd give to go back n time and have the opportunity to reach out.   Two goals for me tmrw...  visit the memorial and as many acts of unsolicited kindness that I can pass along all day.

Mine too. I will be living Rachel’s Challenge tomorrow

Dylan wrote this 19 years ago this morning.


   One day. one is the beginning? the end. hahaha
        reversed, yet true.  About 26.5 hours from now the
        judgement will begin. Difficult, but not impossible,
        necessary, nerveracking & fun.

                            What fun is life without
                                           a little death?
             It’s interesting, when im in my human
            form, knowing im going to die.  Everything
            has a touch of triviality to it.  like how
            none of this calculus shit matters the way
            it shouldn’t.  the truth.  In 26.4 hours i'll
            be dead, & in happiness. Oh little zombie
            human fags will know their errors, & be
           forever suffering & mournful. HAHAHA, of course
           I will miss things. not really.

His anger and rage is palpable. It leeps off the page.

Screamingophelia wrote:

Dylan wrote this 19 years ago this morning.


   One day. one is the beginning? the end. hahaha
        reversed, yet true.  About 26.5 hours from now the
        judgement will begin. Difficult, but not impossible,
        necessary, nerveracking & fun.

                            What fun is life without
                                           a little death?
             It’s interesting, when im in my human
            form, knowing im going to die.  Everything
            has a touch of triviality to it.  like how
            none of this calculus shit matters the way
            it shouldn’t.  the truth.  In 26.4 hours i'll
            be dead, & in happiness. Oh little zombie
            human fags will know their errors, & be
           forever suffering & mournful. HAHAHA, of course
           I will miss things. not really.

We could try and pick apart what he was feeling when he wrote this. We could try to decipher the meaning behind his words, but truthfully I doubt he really knew himself.

EthanEmerson wrote:

@LunkheadMcGrath - great description, thanks for that overview.

Maybe you haven't heard yet... but recently, Richard Castaldo gave an interview and now he claims Eric asked HIM if he believed in God, too... said he just didn't want to share it all these years for personal reasons... he now claims that when he was asked this question, he said "no" because he's an agnostic and he thinks his truthful answer saved his life.

In the next paragraph, though, he also says he "regrets" not giving a different answer and said he just didn't have the balls.

Why would someone who said they answered truthfully when they said no, they don't believe in God, regret not saying yes - which would be a lie - why would someone who doesn't believe in God, who thinks their life was spared for saying no, ever "regret" being truthful?

Maybe he didn't get enough attention and he wishes he could have been one of the kids who said yes and died for it? I have no idea, but his testimony has always been wishy washy. He didn't remember anything in the beginning and told investigators little. Other people came out of the woodwork and gave hearsay testimony about what Richard told them - saying he told them Rachel was asked if she believes in God and he kept saying he doesn't remember ever saying that... none of his original testimony, to my memory, states anything about Rachel being asked if she believes in God...

I think that's something people overlaid on Rachel's story after they heard that Val was asked... and after the rumor about Cassie being asked was spread. Rachel probably would have said yes, but that doesn't mean she was ever asked... but hey, it makes a good story and gets a specific message across even harder, so people will believe in any shred of rumor...

Do you have links to this interview?

ShadowedGoddess wrote:

Screamingophelia wrote:

Dylan wrote this 19 years ago this morning.


   One day. one is the beginning? the end. hahaha
        reversed, yet true.  About 26.5 hours from now the
        judgement will begin. Difficult, but not impossible,
        necessary, nerveracking & fun.

                            What fun is life without
                                           a little death?
             It’s interesting, when im in my human
            form, knowing im going to die.  Everything
            has a touch of triviality to it.  like how
            none of this calculus shit matters the way
            it shouldn’t.  the truth.  In 26.4 hours i'll
            be dead, & in happiness. Oh little zombie
            human fags will know their errors, & be
           forever suffering & mournful. HAHAHA, of course
           I will miss things. not really.

We could try and pick apart what he was feeling when he wrote this. We could try to decipher the meaning behind his words, but truthfully I doubt he really knew himself.

Oddly enough I think he was probably a bit zombie like, going through the motions.

The school day is now over. Really the last normal day for the kids and adults who survived.no awareness that in 24 hours the world would look a lot different. Right now 19 years ago only 2 people on this planet knew what was going to happen.

EthanEmerson wrote:

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] oh wow it was an interview supposedly given in 2012. See, memory sucks haha

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Thank you!

While very interesting, I still don't put much stock into it. As you said, Richard has said many things over the years. He has remembered something, then turned around and remembered it differently or not at all.  

Not saying he is doing it purposely, but in my opinion his memory was and still is clouded by the horror of what happened to him.

EthanEmerson wrote:

That's definitely what it seems like... I mean, he wasn't just in a room closing his eyes hoping nothing happened... he witnessed Rachel being shot and killed right next to him... that's the kind of trauma the brain blocks :/

Agreed. This is why a lot of the witness reports are filled with things that make no sense.

EthanEmerson wrote:

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] oh wow it was an interview supposedly given in 2012. See, memory sucks haha

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This article was discussed on the forum a few years ago. Here is the link to the thread: [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

-Link was messing up for some reason, seems to be fixed now.

boringguy wrote:

EthanEmerson wrote:

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] oh wow it was an interview supposedly given in 2012. See, memory sucks haha

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

This article was discussed on the forum a few years ago. Here is the link to the thread: [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

-Link was messing up for some reason, seems to be fixed now.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] Thanks for the link! I try to read through the older threads when I can, since I only joined back in March of last year. 

Its the 20th where I live. Nineteen years, it only felt like yesterday we were at the ten year mark.

Around this time Dylan was arriving home from Outback ( yes, the single greatest mystery. ) In a couple hours Zach will call, but Dylan will be too tired to talk. That’s the last time the friends will ever speak to each other.

Screamingophelia wrote:

Around this time Dylan was arriving home from Outback ( yes, the single greatest mystery. ) In a couple hours Zach will  call, but Dylan will be too tired to talk. That’s the last time the friends will ever speak to each other.

my guess is they never went to Outback.. no proof (autopsy, video or receipts) and no witnesses.

Side note.. I believe they went to McD's for lunch on 4/19 with Brooks Brown and Robin Anderson? Heard the Chris Morris 911 call on youtube... at the very end of the call he makes reference to E/D talking about an attack on the school, but states he didn't take them serious. I thought he had stated that initially in interviews.

Autopsy had potatoes in Dylan’s stomach. I always infered that he ate leftovers the morning of somehere

Its 11:27PM in Denver, in less than 12 hours, 13 people (who are most likely sleeping at this very hour) will get gunned down

haydenschool wrote:

Its 11:27PM in Denver, in less than 12 hours, 13 people (who are most likely sleeping at this very hour) will get gunned down

Such a weird feeling knowing their deaths were approaching the very next day.

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I've got a question to people who live in Littleton or near this area. How many people are coming to the memorial these days and is it in the air still the felling that something bad has happened 19th years ago and community still pay attention or it's another ordinary day?

At this moment 19 years ago, it was 3:15 a.m. in Denver. Sunrise was exactly three hours away.

Were all thirteen of Eric and Dylan's victims sleeping soundly? Were they dreaming?

Did Eric and Dylan get any sleep that night? If so, did they dream?

As the new day dawned, 15 people had only a few hours to live. But only two of them had any awareness of what was to come.

How much thought did the victims give to the clothes that they were putting on? Did any of them have any inkling that they were getting dressed for the last time in their lives? Brushing their teeth for the last time? Eating breakfast for the last time? Driving in a car for the last time?

As they drove or walked up to the school that morning, did any of them realize that they were going to die inside that building?

haydenschool wrote:

Its 11:27PM in Denver, in less than 12 hours, 13 people (who are most likely sleeping at this very hour) will get gunned down

Don't you mean were sleeping? They're dead now.

MysteryMan wrote:

I've got a question to people who live in Littleton or near this area. How many people are coming to the memorial these days and is it in the air still the felling that something bad has happened 19th years ago and community still pay attention or it's another ordinary day?

I’m going today, when I was here visiting in December snd went to the memorial I did have an eerie feeling.

I have insomina, so I'm going to try to go back to sleep. I just wanted to let everyone know that it is "just before first light" so this is around the time Dylan left and said the last words to his mom.

I work with kids and this morning all but one was hiding under the table while the other shot at them with an imaginary gun. Creeped me right out so I had them play something else.
Let's not play active shooter ok?!?

I was in college when I remember hearing about Columbine. I was in classroom at the time so remember feeling saddened and afraid but there wasn't a lot of news coverage.

I've recently become interested in learning all about Columbine again. The Las Vegas mass shooting affected me deeply so that may have triggered (no pun intended ) my re-interest in Columbine? Researching all of the mass shootings I read about all of the incidents but Columbine stands out for me.

Sue Klebolds book is very good. I highly recommend it to get the story from her unique perspective.

19 years of Columbine.

19 years of people searching for answers, digging for clues, trying to make sense out of everything that happened in the years/months/weeks leading up to the day that changed so many lives.

Over the years many questions have been answered, sad revelations have come to light, and conspiracies theories have come and gone. Yet Columbine still remains a huge puzzle that we only have a certain amount of pieces to. One day I hope we will get the full picture.

To my knowledge the Harris/Klebold court depositions are set to be released sometime in 2023. In my opinion other then the 20th Anniversary, this will be the next Columbine milestone. I wonder what we will learn from them?

Oldmare wrote:

I've recently become interested in learning all about Columbine again. The Las Vegas mass shooting affected me deeply so that may have triggered (no pun intended ) my re-interest in Columbine? Researching all of the mass shootings I read about all of the incidents but Columbine stands out for me.

Sue Klebolds book is very good. I highly recommend it to get the story from her unique perspective.

Same here! The Last Vegas shooting kickstarted my interest in researching other mass shootings (it also happened on my birthday). It was the first shooting I researched quite a bit of. Didn't realize then just how invested I would be in Columbine (honestly feel like such a newbie considering I only really looked into it 18 years later).

Just requested Susan's book today from my library, ironically on the 20th. Really interested in reading it.


Also [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] it truly is incredible how much Columbine has still stayed within everyone's minds. Even though E&D wanted to make a huge impact, I still wonder if they predicted 19 (and the upcoming years) years from then, so many people would still be thinking and researching it.

Curious to see what will we learn from the court cases. Seems like 2023 is far away, but it will be here soon seeing how much time flies.

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19 years. Time flies.

Is it bad that I requested both the Cullen book and Mein Kampf from my school library? Also, what time did school begin OTD 19yrs ago

haydenschool wrote:

Is it bad that I requested both the Cullen book and Mein Kampf from my school library? Also, what time did school begin OTD 19yrs ago

I think bowling ended a short while ago and now everyone is going to first period

I find it odd that even though the Las Vegas mass shooting wasn't that long ago- 6 months- it isn't really discussed anymore. Columbine is discussed and continues to be in the news every year....even 19 years later.

I wonder if LVMS will be discussed on its anniversary this year or be forgotten? It's similar to Columbine as no one knows why he did it and he also spent time amassing weapons and preparing for it. I also read that although he didn't make bombs he did plan a decoy to distract police. He also ended by suicide like at Columbine, even though it was said he had an escape plan. His suicide and crime scene photos were leaked during the investigation. So there are quite a few similarities to Columbine.

Why is Columbine so remembered after all these years when people are so quick to forget other occurrences? I started learning about the LVMS and all the other mass shootings but have stuck with and continue to learn about mostly Columbine. What holds our attention?!

Other then being "bat shit crazy" do we ever know why a mass shooter does it?

Oldmare wrote:

I find it odd that even though the Las Vegas mass shooting wasn't that long ago- 6 months- it isn't really discussed anymore. Columbine is discussed and continues to be in the news every year....even 19 years later.

I wonder if LVMS will be discussed on its anniversary this year or be forgotten?  It's similar to Columbine as no one knows why he did it and he also spent time amassing weapons and preparing for it. I also read that although he didn't make bombs he did plan a decoy to distract police. He also ended by suicide like at Columbine, even though it was said he had an escape plan. His suicide and crime scene photos were leaked during the investigation. So there are quite a few similarities to Columbine.

Why is Columbine so remembered after all these years when people are so quick to forget other occurrences? I started learning about the LVMS and all the other mass shootings but have stuck with and continue to learn about mostly Columbine. What holds our attention?!

Other then being "bat shit crazy" do we ever know why a mass shooter does it?

When you delve more into Columbine you do start to understand why it happened and why they did it. You don't agree with it or condone it of course...

For me, I was a senior in HS when it happened, I had an online friend who was at the school (I don't talk about that too much) and it was on the news all the time, we learned so much about not only the victims but Eric and Dylan. Also they were all relatable, Littleton was like the town I grew up in. We all wanted a teacher like Mr. Sanders and we wanted a friend like Rachel or Lauren. It was also a loss of innocence, it was also shocking and it was so close to graduation... after prom.. the boys were decent looking, smart and also seemed to have friends and love.

Columbine is now a top hashtag on twitter.

Happy Columbine Day!

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At this point now, they would have started and already killed Rachel Scott. (Well, 2 hours-ish later, stupid Time Zones)

Then today, the same people who snort condoms and eat tide pods are now protesting gun violence! Eric and Dylan are rolling in their graves (or, since Dylan *and possibly Eric* were cremated, blowing around their urns)

Foxofgrey wrote:

At this point now, they would have started and already killed Rachel Scott.

No, not yet. The shooting started around 11:18 and right now (at the time of this typing), its 9:26 in Denver

haydenschool wrote:

Foxofgrey wrote:

At this point now, they would have started and already killed Rachel Scott.

No, not yet. The shooting started around 11:18 and right now (at the time of this typing), its 9:26 in Denver

My bad, was thinking EST.

On my way to the memorial, have a beautiful bouquet of flowers. The skies are gray right now.

Screamingophelia wrote:

On my way to the memorial, have a beautiful bouquet of flowers. The skies are gray right now.

I would love to be there today.
A great honour to all the victims that we still care 19 years later.

They are NOT forgotten.

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NOW: On Tuesday April 20th 1999, 19 years ago, Eric David Harris and Dylan Bennett Klebold, both 17 fired their first shots at their High School

haydenschool wrote:

NOW: On Tuesday April 20th 1999, 19 years ago, Eric David Harris and Dylan Bennett Klebold, both 17 fired their first shots at their High School

Actually Eric had just turned 18 on April 9th.

ShadowedGoddess wrote:

haydenschool wrote:

NOW: On Tuesday April 20th 1999, 19 years ago, Eric David Harris and Dylan Bennett Klebold, both 17 fired their first shots at their High School

Actually Eric had just turned 18 on April 9th.

Woops, my mistake

NOW: Eric and Dylan enter the library to begin their most notable parts of NBK

haydenschool wrote:

Is it bad that I requested both the Cullen book and Mein Kampf from my school library? 

Making yourself look a little suspicious lol.