If you had ever met Eric and Dylan

This may sound weird but I really wished I could have met Eric and Dylan. Despite my introversion I really like meeting new people and learning so many different things. I could have shown them that life is full of surprises and not everything has to be bad. By keeping an open mind I want them to know that no matter how tough life can be and how cruel the world can turn out to be, the struggles we face is what makes us stronger. As long as we choose to have love, wisdom, and courage. Although I'm not sure if I could have done anything for them to ease the hatred and rage from of their hearts, I strongly believe that kindness no matter what shape or form can really change a person's life. And I think that's something E&D never received from anyone.

I totally agree.I think a few more caring, open minded friends in their lives could have made a big difference.

You know what, I actually think they do have caring open minded friends. Their friends seem pretty attentive to them and liked hanging out with them, goofing off and making videos. Even girl friends who seem to like being around them. But as I'm saying this I do realize that most of them are...Dylan's connections. Robyn, Devon, especially Devon, speak of Dylan ever so dearly. Susan? Even she barely knew Eric and now she doesn't have the chance to figure out the boy he could've been, she could've possibly guided and be with.
So I think it's safe to say there were already potential good people around them.
I think it's the matter of they didn't care and had to push them away because they believed in their carnage and offing themselves more. They must have strongly felt that their mental and self issues were not salvageable. Otherwise, wouldn't either one have said "dude, I don't think we should do this. What are we thinking."
In fact I think if they had awesome people in their lives or a loved one it might've increased their depression even more. I'm not sure if you know what I mean but it's something like when you realize you have something good in your life you're afraid you might lose them or let them down because you think you're just a sub-par disappointment and you don't deserve them.

Yes,I wasn't dissing their friends in saying that.But teenagers are notoriously self centered and I think in that last crucial year or so that many of their friends were too wrapped up in their own lives to be there for E &D in the way that could have made a difference.
Chris, Zack and Nate had all acquired serious girlfriends and of course that was where most of their focus was .
Devon was with Zack so same goes for her.Robyn seemed to have an active social life outside E &D.
I know she had a thing for Dylan but I am not sure if they were her main friends or not.
Robyn also was dating other guys on and off throughout the time she knew Dylan.
I am not criticizing them for that as that is what often happens but I think that E &D needed friends who could be a little more aware and involved.
A friend of their Chad Laughlin said in an interview that one of his biggest regrets is not being more aware of what was going on with E &D ,instead of being so focused on chasing girls around.
I bet that more of their friends had similar thoughts after.

So with everything that's been said, if you ever were friends with Eric and Dylan what would you have done for them?

first at all i would listen to them.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] "So with everything that's been said, if you ever were friends with Eric and Dylan what would you have done for them?" I could love them and listen to them immensely but at some point it wouldn't have mattered cause as Sue said, You can't love someone's mental instability away.

PaintItBlack wrote:

Yes,I wasn't dissing their friends in saying that.But teenagers are notoriously self centered and I think in that last crucial year or so that many of their friends were too wrapped up in their own lives to be there for E &D in the way that could have made a difference.
Chris, Zack and Nate had all acquired serious girlfriends and of course that was where most of their focus was .
Devon was with Zack so same goes for her.Robyn seemed to have an active social life outside E &D.
I know she had a thing for Dylan but I am not sure if they were her main friends or not.
Robyn also was dating other guys on and off throughout the time she knew Dylan.
I am not criticizing them for that as that is what often happens but I think that E &D needed friends who could be a little more aware and involved.
A friend of their Chad Laughlin said in an interview that one of his biggest regrets is not being more aware of what was going on with E &D ,instead of being so focused on chasing girls around.
I bet that more of their friends had similar thoughts after.

Everybody would have similar thoughts after someone they know or love dies. Otherwise if they were still alive, we would all be as focused on our lives as we had always been. and it's such a normal thing! At some point you can't hover over someone 24/7. There is only so much immense attention you can give to somebody. Now that they are dead, IDK how much difference it could possibly make if someone they liked was there for them the right way. But to comment on your point, it's extremely inevitable to end up focusing on your life everyday. Eric and Dylan were young men, they have to handle their ownselves.

I always think how weird it must of been for people like Brooks, who hung out with both of them and knew them especially Dylan for a long time. When he turned on the TV and saw both their faces, man that must of been one hell of an eerie feeling.

liquorvamp wrote:

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] "So with everything that's been said, if you ever were friends with Eric and Dylan what would you have done for them?" I could love them and listen to them immensely but at some point it wouldn't have mattered cause as Sue said, You can't love someone's mental instability away.

That's a very good point. One can only do so much for them and in the end it all comes down to what they want/need. Yet I still wish there could have been some way to save them both. I guess we'll never know.

liquorvamp wrote:

PaintItBlack wrote:

Yes,I wasn't dissing their friends in saying that.But teenagers are notoriously self centered and I think in that last crucial year or so that many of their friends were too wrapped up in their own lives to be there for E &D in the way that could have made a difference.
Chris, Zack and Nate had all acquired serious girlfriends and of course that was where most of their focus was .
Devon was with Zack so same goes for her.Robyn seemed to have an active social life outside E &D.
I know she had a thing for Dylan but I am not sure if they were her main friends or not.
Robyn also was dating other guys on and off throughout the time she knew Dylan.
I am not criticizing them for that as that is what often happens but I think that E &D needed friends who could be a little more aware and involved.
A friend of their Chad Laughlin said in an interview that one of his biggest regrets is not being more aware of what was going on with E &D ,instead of being so focused on chasing girls around.
I bet that more of their friends had similar thoughts after.

Everybody would have similar thoughts after someone they know or love dies. Otherwise if they were still alive, we would all be as focused on our lives as we had always been. and it's such a normal thing! At some point you can't hover over someone 24/7. There is only so much immense attention you can give to somebody. Now that they are dead, IDK how much difference it could possibly make if someone they liked was there for them the right way. But to comment on your point, it's extremely inevitable to end up focusing on your life everyday. Eric and Dylan were young men, they have to handle their ownselves.

It's true that people think those thoughts after someone dies, but I don't think it changes the fact that someone with a little more insight, someone who could look past themselves and their immediate lives to what E &D needed was what could have made the difference as far as another person goes.

The thing is, as stated, most teenagers are selfish. Its an age where you're trying to figure yourself out, and plan and prepare for your future and adulthood. And at the same time you're trying to fit in all those "experiences" (dating, sex, partying, establishing your social life) that you're expected to have at that age, as well as focusing on getting out of school. Teenagers are dramatic. Minor social problems that are insignificant to an adult could shatter their world. All teenagers have "problems". Its a rough age, and it's hard to expect them to be overly aware of other people's issues if someone's not openly talking about it.

I'd like to think that if I were friends with E&D that I could have been the person to listen to them and help them through their issues, since I tried to be that way with my own friends. Its easy to say as an adult and years after the fact when you gain more perspective and understanding. Ive lost several people to suicide so I play the "what if" game a lot. But honestly Kids that age are usually so caught up in their own lives and "problems" that it would be hard to devote the kind of attention that E&D would have needed to help them.

I think the only thing that could have prevented the massacre would be to have separated them from each other.

I think the majority of people who claim they could be E/D's friend miss the point. E/D actively went out of their way to avoid other people. They had such little respect for the friends they did have that they had no problem putting them in danger. A lot of us (myself included) feel a connection to the boys based on our own experiences as teenagers. Its easy to forget how reclusive depressed teens can be. Even if you managed to be friends with them it wouldn't have mattered. The problems they had ran deeper than a friend with an ear could help.

Maybe it's for the best they didn't have any more good friends. Imagine if someone like PaintItBlack and her high school buddy became friends with Eric and Dylan. The carnage could have been even worse than it already was.

Draw_It_White wrote:

Maybe it's for the best they didn't have any more good friends. Imagine if someone like PaintItBlack and her high school buddy became friends with Eric and Dylan. The carnage could have been even worse than it already was.

What makes you say that?

I agree with Nirvana92. There are quite a few boys and girls who mentioned they were friends of Eric and Dylan. But Eric and Dylan did not think of them as friends. And I don't think it was all lack of trying on the other people's part. They didn't want to be friends with the "mindless zombie sheep" They were outcasts because they made themselves outcasts.

If I had gone to Columbine back then I sincerely do not think I could have been friends with the two of them.

aquillina wrote:

Draw_It_White wrote:

Maybe it's for the best they didn't have any more good friends. Imagine if someone like PaintItBlack and her high school buddy became friends with Eric and Dylan. The carnage could have been even worse than it already was.

What makes you say that?

Paintitblack and her friend started planning a massacre of their own. If they had gotten with E&D it would have been 4 attacking the school instead of 2.

Lizpuff wrote:

aquillina wrote:

Draw_It_White wrote:

Maybe it's for the best they didn't have any more good friends. Imagine if someone like PaintItBlack and her high school buddy became friends with Eric and Dylan. The carnage could have been even worse than it already was.

What makes you say that?

Paintitblack and her friend started planning a massacre of their own.  If they had gotten with E&D it would have been 4 attacking the school instead of 2.

OMFG!!!!! I had no idea. I'm glad for them they didn't. I don't mean to brag but if I ever became friends with E&D I'm pretty sure one of them would have fallen in love with me. A lot of guys find me attractive and I'm also a very nice person. In all honesty however I don't know if anything I could have done for them to remove their rage and hatred. But my kindness would be the only I could ever offer them.

aquillina wrote:

Lizpuff wrote:

aquillina wrote:

Draw_It_White wrote:

Maybe it's for the best they didn't have any more good friends. Imagine if someone like PaintItBlack and her high school buddy became friends with Eric and Dylan. The carnage could have been even worse than it already was.

What makes you say that?

Paintitblack and her friend started planning a massacre of their own.  If they had gotten with E&D it would have been 4 attacking the school instead of 2.

OMFG!!!!! I had no idea. I'm glad for them they didn't. I don't mean to brag but if I ever became friends with E&D I'm pretty sure one of them would have fallen in love with me. A lot of guys find me attractive and I'm also a very nice person. In all honesty however I don't know if anything I could have done for them to remove their rage and hatred. But my kindness would be the only I could ever offer them.

I really doubt that. I think they disliked the sort of person you sound based on that comment.

Draw_It_White wrote:

aquillina wrote:

Lizpuff wrote:

aquillina wrote:

Draw_It_White wrote:

Maybe it's for the best they didn't have any more good friends. Imagine if someone like PaintItBlack and her high school buddy became friends with Eric and Dylan. The carnage could have been even worse than it already was.

What makes you say that?

Paintitblack and her friend started planning a massacre of their own.  If they had gotten with E&D it would have been 4 attacking the school instead of 2.

OMFG!!!!! I had no idea. I'm glad for them they didn't. I don't mean to brag but if I ever became friends with E&D I'm pretty sure one of them would have fallen in love with me. A lot of guys find me attractive and I'm also a very nice person. In all honesty however I don't know if anything I could have done for them to remove their rage and hatred. But my kindness would be the only I could ever offer them.

I really doubt that. I think they disliked the sort of person you sound based on that comment.

Yeah you're probably right. But who knows.

Lizpuff wrote:

There are quite a few boys and girls who mentioned they were friends of Eric and Dylan. But Eric and Dylan did not think of them as friends. And I don't think it was all lack of trying on the other people's part. They didn't want to be friends with the "mindless zombie sheep" They were outcasts because they made themselves outcasts.

Nirvana92 wrote:

E/D actively went out of their way to avoid other people. They had such little respect for the friends they did have that they had no problem putting them in danger.

Thank you.
some of the exchange above....yikes.
Anyway, people here should not be thinking at this point they know how to handle E&D if you know them. You can't. Let me remind you, ALOT OF PEOPLE around them, have given them probably the bestest sincerest attention even some of us hardly receive. They CONSCIOUSLY push it away from them, even though they complain so much about nobody liking them or inviting them to things. They chose to be open differently, being weird and loving it and making people be fearful of them. Let alone nearing 4/20 they didn't bother furthering contact with people and making ties anymore. All they had on their mind was the massacre. I think it's well established that the boys especially Eric were very contradictory.  They were actually picky. Because they also felt extremely superior of themselves especially when they preach about being better and self-aware than all these zombies. So why would they fall into the pit of letting one of these zombies understand one of them? Chances are they won't! Eric thought he liked Brandi but when it came to listening to the extreme bullshit she talks about, she's extremely vanilla and she's of no essence! He can't "connect" with her! Eric talked to Jen and came to the realization for himself; People over-romanticise romance thinking they know that a person is good for them but they just need the idea of love blablabla...Dylan had a made-up ideation of his perfect girl in his fantasies but she's probably nowhere to be found in his life!

Throughout their surviving years, the perfect person or girl just never showed up in their life if we'd like to think that it's possible a correctly-aligned person could have saved them. and we can't be blinded through the perspective of looking up a crime and two dead boys thinking we know what they need. Who knows maybe actually being there in person with them as their friends did and living through the late 90s, we realise the boys aren't as empathetic or awesome as we think they might be. Maybe they were really problematic. People like them, I'm sorry to say, feel like others owe them validation and attention, like others owe them the relativity of their thoughts and interests as a person. That sort of projection only pushes the majority of society away, or teenagers away rather. Nowadays those who are introverts and different remain in recluse and enjoy it without garnering or projecting anger. For the boys alongside being under the pressure and era they were, they felt attacked.

I feel like there would be no getting to know them.

For example. Look at Kristy Epling and Robyn Anderson. Both of those girls liked Eric and Dylan. Now maybe they didn't like those particular girls, but Eric and Dylan kept complaining about how no one liked them. I am sure both of them knew that these girls liked them.

I feel like a lot of people read their journals and just see 2 kids who wanted love and companionship. I don't see that at the same face value. While I do think they were lonely I think it is really by their own doings.

Nirvana92 wrote:

I think the majority of people who claim they could be E/D's friend miss the point. E/D actively went out of their way to avoid other people. They had such little respect for the friends they did have that they had no problem putting them in danger. A lot of us (myself included) feel a connection to the boys based on our own experiences as teenagers. Its easy to forget how reclusive depressed teens can be. Even if you managed to be friends with them it wouldn't have mattered. The problems they had ran deeper than a friend with an ear could help.

I still believe that the right person or persons could have made a difference with E &D.We always talk about how if they had met some good girls who liked them back to have a relationship with,things could have been different, so why not friends?
However,I respect that others disagree.

Draw_It_White wrote:

Maybe it's for the best they didn't have any more good friends. Imagine if someone like PaintItBlack and her high school buddy became friends with Eric and Dylan. The carnage could have been even worse than it already was.

Not that anybody likely cares but we are still friends today.
There was an age difference between E &D and us, so we wouldn't have been in school together but I do understand what you are saying.

aquillina wrote:

Lizpuff wrote:

aquillina wrote:

Draw_It_White wrote:

Maybe it's for the best they didn't have any more good friends. Imagine if someone like PaintItBlack and her high school buddy became friends with Eric and Dylan. The carnage could have been even worse than it already was.

What makes you say that?

Paintitblack and her friend started planning a massacre of their own.  If they had gotten with E&D it would have been 4 attacking the school instead of 2.

OMFG!!!!! I had no idea. I'm glad for them they didn't. I don't mean to brag but if I ever became friends with E&D I'm pretty sure one of them would have fallen in love with me. A lot of guys find me attractive and I'm also a very nice person. In all honesty however I don't know if anything I could have done for them to remove their rage and hatred. But my kindness would be the only I could ever offer them.

I'm pretty sure that I'm not the only person who has ever been on this board to have plotted such a thing as a teen.
I think the reason my story gets such a reaction is the others have passed through and not stayed long while I'm a very active member of the board.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] Well I'm glad you didn't go through it. You don't realize how blessed you are. At the end of it all we'll never how things could have been different for Eric and Dylan. Yet we can only speculate and share what we believe in and I think that's a good thing. I too have made some bad decisions in my life yet I have surpassed them all and learned so much.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] "I'm pretty sure that I'm not the only person who has ever been on this board to have plotted such a thing as a teen." PaintItBlack, you talk about it like as if that makes it okay. No, not alot of people go around plotting a massacre. How do you define plotting/platting one from a fantasy or words said out of anger? IDK the seriousness of you having that past intention, but considering the word 'plot' has been used it sounds like you were really close with putting it in action.

liquorvamp wrote:

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] "I'm pretty sure that I'm not the only person who has ever been on this board to have plotted such a thing as a teen." PaintItBlack, you talk about it like as if that makes it okay. No, not alot of people go around plotting a massacre. How do you define plotting/platting one from a fantasy or words said out of anger? IDK the seriousness of you having that past intention, but considering the word 'plot' has been used it sounds like you were really close with putting it in action.

I never actually said that it was "okay." I've talked about this extensively on this board in the past and I'm not going to write it all out again but all I can say is that you are welcome to judge me and I know that no matter what people will always likely judge me negatively based on this ,but I am not ashamed of this part of my past and for a good reason.I cannot even fully put into words what abuse my friend and I took for many years by most of the students in the school to drive us to the point that we wanted to do this.
Nobody associated with the school would help us or intervene. We were basically blamed for being weird and not fitting in therefore bringing such treatment on ourselves.
Many people are still going to take a hard line and say "I don't care how badly you were abused or by how many, that's no excuse to want to do something like that."
The only response I can give to that is that nobody else but my friend and I lived it.Nobody else was there and knows how it was.

I've post here about it for a specific purpose.
When Columbine or any other shooting is brought up, the majority reaction is usually"I don't understand how anybody could ever want to do such a thing or even think of doing such a thing." Obviously, I do know at least somewhat and I have hoped to provide some insight into what E &D were thinking and feeling, at least in the beginning stages of their plan. I also hope that at least some have read my posts and come away with some understanding of how these things can happen.

For anyone who thinks that I still might be dangerous, this was all over a decade ago and I am obviously quite a bit older now.
I am in many respects not the same person when all this was happening and would never think of wanting or trying to do such a thing now.
I also think that people who just wanted to or planned something like out but didn't do it are a bit more common than people think.
Most don't talk about it openly because they either want to move on or don't want to be judged harshly .
Maybe its something you can never fully understand unless you were once there yourself. (shrugs ) .

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] "Maybe its something you can never fully understand unless you were once there yourself." There where? and do you know my life? You don't know what I've been through either.
Your tone just plain sounds like you're justifying the fact that you've thought of doing harm once even when you say you don't. With that I don't see this as a potentially good conversation to carry on. It's okay, I've been around the board long enough to know that you have discussed this before. Look, I know where you come from when you say you have been put through a certain form of hell to understand why evil people end up being bred, I comment from that perspective at times too, but did you have to outweigh your issues with no knowledge of mine? /

"There" means in a mental place where you would want to or plan to do something like this.
No, I don't know your life, that's true, but to be fair you don't really know mine either outside of what I have said here and you are obviously judging me pretty harshly for this which is your right, I suppose.It seems that a lot of people don't understand unless they've once had a similar experience.That's what I meant by saying that.Although I think a few people came to a better understanding after reading what I have written about how it was for me and my friend.
But I can't say that what I've said on the board can actually convey how severe it was in reality.
I think I'd have to write an entire book to do that and that still wouldn't give a totally accurate picture of what it was like to live through that day after day, year after year.

Do I justify it, looking back at that time? No, because I don't think it would have been the right or acceptable thing to have done, especially now that I'm older and can look at it through the perspective that I have now.
But am I surprised that knowing what we went through , that we would have wanted to do that at the time? Not at all.I still feel like although I am a lot more forgiving now ,that my friend and I were definite victims although we were never acknowledged as such by most and our suffering was outright denied or diminished both at the time and by people told about later(It couldn't have been that bad,you're exaggerating,why  couldn't you just bear up and deal with it better/forget about it?),so that's still not easy to deal with today.

I guess another main point of mine is that most people say they would have never, ever wanted to do something like that but if they had lived my life and went through what my friend and I did, they might very well have felt differently.
Knowing everything that happened to us, I don't think I can agree that my friend and I would have been evil people even if we had of gone through with but I know most people would absolutely disagree.

I don't mean to be rude but this is incredibly personal to me since I lived through it and I will probably always be a bit touchy about it .
Knowing that it might have been better to have never talked about it but I did it because I thought I could add a valuable perspective and maybe some understanding.
I also talked about it because I don't feel that I am much if any better than E &D morally. If one or two more things in my life had been different,I could have very well have went through with it.
Again,I think it was that way for more people in the past and probably even now than would be imagined.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] i respect you sharing what you did and i don't judge you for it. just putting it out there for you. =)

Not everybody is the same. Nor do people handle things the same or look at things the way one person does. and why would one call it judging? That's not judging. It's a normal reaction after learning one was almost homicidal. I hate the word 'judge'. I don't even need to be a step behind somebody either unless it's an amazing thing said/shared.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.],
Thank you.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.],
I can I can expect to get a negative reaction most of the time but that's not always easy to hear if you lived through something and it was very painful and difficult.
It's probably impossible to be impartial about your own past.

All I can say is that there was a LOT behind us feeling like we did back then . Looking back, I can see how wrong it was but again , going through what we did I'm not surprised we felt that way.

Honestly I think everyone who had a rough time in high school considered going in and taking everyone out. I sure as hell did more than a few times, even before columbine happened. Never planned anything elaborate, but had plenty of fantasies. Whenever I had serious thoughts about it I had specific targets. But when I was just angry it was pretty much anyone and everyone. I knew several people who threatened to kill everyone or blow up the school or whatever. A few kids got expelled for making threats. I don't think it's too terribly unusual for someone to think such things and never act on it

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] You mean to tell me because you were hurt it's okay to play God and take someone's life away through a bloodbath? You never thought of the numerous mass shootings in history where other people's loved ones are dead because of what a singular person has been through? There's various context as to why a perpetrator becomes a mass murderer, some of which have mental instability but if it's through deliberate hurt put to you how about you change your own life stand up for yourself and be a better person on your own? Pull it together on your own.
This isn't even a debate about what you have been through anymore. What put me off and is doing my head in is the fact you keep pulling the same card to justify harm to others, and the way you go about sharing your experiences is in such a tone where you're FORCING Others to listen to you and agree with you when what you planned to do is horrendously unacceptable. You have unknowingly made people agree that killing someone is okay because somebody may have hurt you to the bone. Alongside that, sharing it with me and THEN you've decide to elaborate your argument by outweighing your troubles with MINE? As I said you don't know what I have been through and I'm not going to share it with you. You say that you are proud of your struggles and I get what you mean, you think it defines you and makes you stronger etc, and this is free platform for you to share it and you think it's learning experience for those who have struggled before but try not to execute in such a pretentious way where it's almost like a pity-justify murder card to make it seem relatable to you! It won't be for everyone. And not everyone on here which I have read like it nor agree with it. and don't try to compare struggles EVER again because you may not know the next person whose nerve you may hit. You know what, I can't tell you what to do and what not to share but if you feel like you wanna openly talk about your ex intention to plot a massacre again go ahead but with all the new people joining the forum, be prepared for their reaction and possibility of arguing with you about it again. It seems like you don't mind debating about it which I'm not surprise since this is starting to look like a card you don't mind constantly pulling as much as it may throw a few people off. Mass shooting is ugly. Many innocent lives are taken and it has JUST happened again. And if you think it's okay to do that because you were tragically tragically hurt like you always said and abused, you ought to way that option out before advocating that it's an OKAY or understandable thing to do. It's NOT. Your perspective is that of someone who has been abused/bullied. What about the perspective of someone who's loved one has been murdered at gunpoint? I'm done. /////

liquorvamp wrote:

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] You mean to tell me because you were hurt it's okay to play God and take someone's life away through a bloodbath? You never thought of the numerous mass shootings in history where other people's loved ones are dead because of what a singular person has been through? There's various context as to why a perpetrator becomes a mass murderer, some of which have mental instability but if it's through deliberate hurt put to you how about you change your own life stand up for yourself and be a better person on your own? Pull it together on your own.
This isn't even a debate about what you have been through anymore. What put me off and is doing my head in is the fact you keep pulling the same card to justify harm to others, and the way you go about sharing your experiences is in such a tone where you're FORCING Others to listen to you and agree with you when what you planned to do is horrendously unacceptable. You have unknowingly made people agree that killing someone is okay because somebody may have hurt you to the bone. Alongside that, sharing it with me and THEN you've decide to elaborate your argument by outweighing your troubles with MINE? As I said you don't know what I have been through and I'm not going to share it with you. You say that you are proud of your struggles and I get what you mean, you think it defines you and makes you stronger etc, and this is free platform for you to share it and you think it's learning experience for those who have struggled before but try not to execute in such a pretentious way where it's almost like a pity-justify murder card to make it seem relatable to you! It won't be for everyone. And not everyone on here which I have read like it nor agree with it. and don't try to compare struggles EVER again because you may not know the next person whose nerve you may hit. You know what, I can't tell you what to do and what not to share but if you feel like you wanna openly talk about your ex intention to plot a massacre again go ahead but with all the new people joining the forum, be prepared for their reaction and possibility of arguing with you about it again. It seems like you don't mind debating about it which I'm not surprise since this is starting to look like a card you don't mind constantly pulling as much as it may throw a few people off. Mass shooting is ugly. Many innocent lives are taken and it has JUST happened again. And if you think it's okay to do that because you were tragically tragically hurt like you always said and abused, you ought to way that option out before advocating that it's an OKAY or understandable thing to do. It's NOT. Your perspective is that of someone who has been abused/bullied. What about the perspective of someone who's loved one has been murdered at gunpoint? I'm done. /////

Listen mate.
You are acting as if he actually DID do it. I've read alot of PaintIt's experiences while lurking the board, and I can honestly say, that I can definitely sympathize with his/her(even after all my lurkings I still don't know your gender PaintIt :3 sorry)motives.

That's not to say it makes them RIGHT, but I can understand where he was coming from(he? I'm just gonna refer to PaintIt as a he from this point on.)

Maybe I can relate and understand PaintIt's feeling because I have had horrible bouts with bipolar depression and anxiety in the past, and am a borderline personality disorder sufferer, but let me try to help you understand:

When a person experiences the hardships that PaintIt experienced, it pretty much just starts to beat you down and down again, and with the right storm of different problems, they can all forge into one super big obstacle that just kicks your ass over and over again into submission. It's like a snowball rolling down hill. At first, it's all small, but as it rolls down that hill, over time it starts to grow and grow until it's a giant ball of snow coming towards you, and when it hits...

PaintIt probably received ALOT Of abuse in his life at that point, and slowly but surely, after the constant abuse, years on end, it probably reached that critical point where he thought "Fuck this. I'm tired of this. I'm going to fight back and kill."

When the world has beaten you down like that for so long, your mental perspective on things start to become more and more butchered, and you, quite simply, go insane. This is when suicides and mass shootings can occur. Usually, its the former, but SOMETIMES, it's the latter.

He isn't trying to justify his thoughts and wants of committing a shooting, and neither am I. There is no justifying massacre. There is nothing glamorous about suicide or mental illness. And to be quite honest - I'm really not sure why you're acting like he's doing that. I've seen nothing from PaintIt's posts on this board at all to show that he either regrets not killing people, or to show that he doesn't feel bad for thinking the things he thought.

Then again, it's VERY VERY hard for someone who has never experienced this stuff to understand it, but please try to be sympathetic. The important thing is that PaintIt realized that this was batshit knockers and didn't go through with it, and now he is a functioning adult(from what I've seen. I don't know him personally.)

Beating him down for his past is useless, because he's already moved on.

And by the way - I'm not trying to say that Eric and Dylan did Columbine just because the world beat them down for too long and they went insane. Maybe that's a factor in it, as it certainly seems that Dylan and Eric were suffering a deal in their life, but Columbine is an entirely different beast of intricate things, and that's why we're here on a board dedicated to understanding it.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] I've battled anxiety, still am and have had horrible bipolar episodes and a past too but this isn't even about what people has gone through anymore. Did you even read the things I've said since you wanna back PaintItBlack up? I think you need to read it properly. I don't go around pulling the I've been abused card so come join me to understand why someone kills someone else all over the place. If you wanna recount a past or comment don't try to battle someone over who's got it worse in their life. It throws people off. This is why people don't talk about their problems. it's one of those "oh yeah I get you...but you know what I've been though?blablabla...." Oh, so nobody here knows anything about me so automatically I DON'T get it? Also, I don't need help understanding. I have understood enough, and things worth to be understood too. My paragraph is strictly for [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] only.

liquorvamp wrote:

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] I've battled anxiety, still am and have had horrible bipolar episodes and a past too.

You may as well have put

liquorvamp wrote:

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] I've battled anxiety, still am and have had horrible bipolar episodes and a past too, and I never wanted to kill anyone!

Your mental problems do not count for every human beings mental illness problems. Different people react to mental illness and issues in different ways. That was the point I probably should have gone out of my way to make. And I NEVER tried to say that anyone's mental health issue was irrelevant because I or PaintIt or WHOEVER suffered more than someone else. That's ridiculous.

The point of your post was "He's trying to make it sound like mass shooting is ok!"

That's not it at all. He never has said that mass shooting is ok, and he has never tried to justify his thoughts and actions, and neither have I. He simply explained what made him go down that path. If that's how you want to interpret it though, I can't really stop you. Just like how I can't stop you from misinterpreting the things I just posted.

That being said, I'm not going to bother responding any further to you on this issue, or comment on PaintItBlack's experiences, because I'm pretty sure I just broke the flame rule, and because I'll probably be breaking it alot more if I continue this argument.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] Did you just edit my own words in your post? I literally see words I did not say in your quotation buddy.

._.
goodbye

I too have read paintitblack's posts, and i have never taken what she(?) has written to be pretensious. It is my understanding that she has overcome those demons of the past and is glad the they did not follow through with the plot. I have never been bullied (just typical kid stuff). I dont suffer anxiety or depression and i dont understand how someone can be driven to murderous thinking. That said i do admire paintitblacks courage to share that experience. Her experience touched me enough that my mind was opened a little more and i have learned from it. I say HATS OFF to all who overcome the past and resist the urge for blind vengence.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] is a she, not a he and she is doing absolutely nothing wrong by sharing her experiences. If anything, she's trying to help people see that violence is not the answer to anything. You don't have to agree and of course everyone is entitled to their own opinions but let's try and have respect for each other and be civil to one another. I'd appreciate that.

Throw a rock into a river and it'll cause a ripple effect.

Thank you jenn. We are all here to learn. After we've learned all we can from the documents and evidence available, all we have left to learn is from each other

I don't think Eric and Dylan would have been interested in getting to know me because I had no social status in high school and was probably even weirder than they were.  They went after girls who were nothing at all like I was in high school. 

But I don't think that being a good friend would have made a difference. They had good friends and decent parents and they took it all for granted.  They didn't need better friends.  They needed better mental health care.

Draw_It_White wrote:

aquillina wrote:

Lizpuff wrote:

aquillina wrote:

Draw_It_White wrote:

Maybe it's for the best they didn't have any more good friends. Imagine if someone like PaintItBlack and her high school buddy became friends with Eric and Dylan. The carnage could have been even worse than it already was.

What makes you say that?

Paintitblack and her friend started planning a massacre of their own.  If they had gotten with E&D it would have been 4 attacking the school instead of 2.

OMFG!!!!! I had no idea. I'm glad for them they didn't. I don't mean to brag but if I ever became friends with E&D I'm pretty sure one of them would have fallen in love with me. A lot of guys find me attractive and I'm also a very nice person. In all honesty however I don't know if anything I could have done for them to remove their rage and hatred. But my kindness would be the only I could ever offer them.

I really doubt that. I think they disliked the sort of person you sound based on that comment

I agree with Draw_It_White.

liquorvamp,
I don't know what you want or expect me to say. I'm at a loss.Apparently, I offended you greatly when I said that you didn't know what I had gone through back then.I apologize for offending you.
It wasn't meant to be an offense.If you want me to apologize for ever considering such a thing in the past,I don't feel I can fairly do that considering what my friend and I were put through back then.
Yes, it was terribly wrong but I think a lot of people in our situation would have considered it, although yes a person can debate that, but that's what I sincerely believe.
It saddens me you think I talk about this to pull the "pity card." I can't do anything about that perception.If I wanted pity, I 'd think that I'd gone on and on in even more detail about the horrendous abuse I received.Your reaction proves this is something that doesn't make me look very good.

When all this was going on, I was 16 to 17 years old.I was a child An angry, abused child.I thought then as an angry abused child. You say that's no excuse but I don't know what else to do but explain what my reality was like then as clearly as I can.I know that I have shared my story with good intentions.My story is not for everybody, nor is everybody going to understand but I honestly thought it would lead to more understanding and help people understand E &D more.Perhaps I have fallen short in my efforts from what I hoped to accomplish but what can anybody do but try to make some sort of a difference, even a tiny one?

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] Sigh, don't apologise to me. It's not something you should do. This is just a case of differing perspective and my initial heated reaction. I don't completely know you either, but I will command that you have alot of patience and grace when speaking your side of a situation, a recurring account even. At the end of the day, we all have our different ways of handling trying times and have been raised in such a way (such as myself) to take a beating, suck things up, never talk about your problems nor gain sympathy and go just back to living. And if you think about it it's a hard battle between enduring one's own suffering, and knowing that causing harm will make others hurt aswell. It's such a battle of conscience. So, let's just shake our hands on this.

anonacc489 wrote:

liquorvamp wrote:

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] You mean to tell me because you were hurt it's okay to play God and take someone's life away through a bloodbath? You never thought of the numerous mass shootings in history where other people's loved ones are dead because of what a singular person has been through? There's various context as to why a perpetrator becomes a mass murderer, some of which have mental instability but if it's through deliberate hurt put to you how about you change your own life stand up for yourself and be a better person on your own? Pull it together on your own.
This isn't even a debate about what you have been through anymore. What put me off and is doing my head in is the fact you keep pulling the same card to justify harm to others, and the way you go about sharing your experiences is in such a tone where you're FORCING Others to listen to you and agree with you when what you planned to do is horrendously unacceptable. You have unknowingly made people agree that killing someone is okay because somebody may have hurt you to the bone. Alongside that, sharing it with me and THEN you've decide to elaborate your argument by outweighing your troubles with MINE? As I said you don't know what I have been through and I'm not going to share it with you. You say that you are proud of your struggles and I get what you mean, you think it defines you and makes you stronger etc, and this is free platform for you to share it and you think it's learning experience for those who have struggled before but try not to execute in such a pretentious way where it's almost like a pity-justify murder card to make it seem relatable to you! It won't be for everyone. And not everyone on here which I have read like it nor agree with it. and don't try to compare struggles EVER again because you may not know the next person whose nerve you may hit. You know what, I can't tell you what to do and what not to share but if you feel like you wanna openly talk about your ex intention to plot a massacre again go ahead but with all the new people joining the forum, be prepared for their reaction and possibility of arguing with you about it again. It seems like you don't mind debating about it which I'm not surprise since this is starting to look like a card you don't mind constantly pulling as much as it may throw a few people off. Mass shooting is ugly. Many innocent lives are taken and it has JUST happened again. And if you think it's okay to do that because you were tragically tragically hurt like you always said and abused, you ought to way that option out before advocating that it's an OKAY or understandable thing to do. It's NOT. Your perspective is that of someone who has been abused/bullied. What about the perspective of someone who's loved one has been murdered at gunpoint? I'm done. /////

Listen mate.
You are acting as if he actually DID do it. I've read alot of PaintIt's experiences while lurking the board, and I can honestly say, that I can definitely sympathize with his/her(even after all my lurkings I still don't know your gender PaintIt :3 sorry)motives.

That's not to say it makes them RIGHT, but I can understand where he was coming from(he? I'm just gonna refer to PaintIt as a he from this point on.)

Maybe I can relate and understand PaintIt's feeling because I have had horrible bouts with bipolar depression and anxiety in the past, and am a borderline personality disorder sufferer, but let me try to help you understand:

When a person experiences the hardships that PaintIt experienced, it pretty much just starts to beat you down and down again, and with the right storm of different problems, they can all forge into one super big obstacle that just kicks your ass over and over again into submission. It's like a snowball rolling down hill. At first, it's all small, but as it rolls down that hill, over time it starts to grow and grow until it's a giant ball of snow coming towards you, and when it hits...

PaintIt probably received ALOT Of abuse in his life at that point, and slowly but surely, after the constant abuse, years on end, it probably reached that critical point where he thought "Fuck this. I'm tired of this. I'm going to fight back and kill."

When the world has beaten you down like that for so long, your mental perspective on things start to become more and more butchered, and you, quite simply, go insane. This is when suicides and mass shootings can occur. Usually, its the former, but SOMETIMES, it's the latter.

He isn't trying to justify his thoughts and wants of committing a shooting, and neither am I. There is no justifying massacre. There is nothing glamorous about suicide or mental illness. And to be quite honest - I'm really not sure why you're acting like he's doing that. I've seen nothing from PaintIt's posts on this board at all to show that he either regrets not killing people, or to show that he doesn't feel bad for thinking the things he thought.

Then again, it's VERY VERY hard for someone who has never experienced this stuff to understand it, but please try to be sympathetic. The important thing is that PaintIt realized that this was batshit knockers and didn't go through with it, and now he is a functioning adult(from what I've seen. I don't know him personally.)

Beating him down for his past is useless, because he's already moved on.

anonacc489,
I am female. Thank you for your supportive words.